Twelfth Night
Page 6
And that I owe107 Olivia.
VIOLA Ay, but I know--
ORSINO What dost thou know?
VIOLA Too well what love women to men may owe:
In faith, they are as true of heart as we.
My father had a daughter loved a man,
As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,
I should your lordship.
ORSINO And what's her history?115
VIOLA A blank, my lord. She never told her love,
But let concealment, like a worm i'th'bud,
Feed on her damask118 cheek: she pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow119 melancholy
She sat like patience on a monument120,
Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?
We men may say more, swear more, but indeed
Our shows are more than will, for still123 we prove
Much in our vows, but little in our love.
ORSINO But died thy sister of her love, my boy?
VIOLA I am all the daughters of my father's house,
And all the brothers too, and yet I know not.
Sir, shall I to128 this lady?
ORSINO Ay, that's the theme.
Gives a jewel
To her in haste: give her this jewel: say
My love can give no place, bide no denay.131
Exeunt
Act 2 Scene 5
running scene 10
Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian
SIR TOBY Come thy ways1, Signior Fabian.
FABIAN Nay, I'll come. If I lose a scruple2 of this sport, let me
be boiled3 to death with melancholy.
SIR TOBY Wouldst thou not be glad to have the niggardly4
rascally sheep-biter5 come by some notable shame?
FABIAN I would exult, man. You know he brought me out
o'favour with my lady about a bear-baiting7 here.
SIR TOBY To anger him we'll have the bear again, and we will
fool him black and blue.9 Shall we not, Sir Andrew?
SIR ANDREW An we do not, it is pity of our lives.10
Enter Maria
To Maria
SIR TOBY Here comes the little villain.-- How now,
my metal of India?12
MARIA Get ye all three into the box-tree13: Malvolio's coming
down this walk.14 He has been yonder i'the sun practising
behaviour15 to his own shadow this half hour. Observe him,
for the love of mockery, for I know this letter will make a
They hide
contemplative idiot of him. Close17, in the name of
jesting! Lie thou there, for here comes the trout that must be
caught with tickling.19
Puts a letter on the ground
Exit
|Sir Toby and the others are not heard by Malvolio|
Enter Malvolio
MALVOLIO 'Tis but fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me
she did affect me, and I have heard herself come thus near21,
that should she fancy22, it should be one of my complexion.
Besides, she uses23 me with a more exalted respect than
anyone else that follows24 her. What should I think on't?
SIR TOBY Here's an overweening25 rogue!
FABIAN O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock26
of him. How he jets under his advanced plumes!27
SIR ANDREW 'Slight28, I could so beat the rogue!
SIR TOBY Peace, I say.
MALVOLIO To be Count Malvolio!
SIR TOBY Ah, rogue!
SIR ANDREW Pistol32 him, pistol him.
SIR TOBY Peace, peace!
MALVOLIO There is example for't: the lady of the Strachy34
married the yeoman of the wardrobe.35
SIR ANDREW Fie on him, Jezebel!36
FABIAN O, peace! Now he's deeply in37: look how imagination
blows him.38
MALVOLIO Having been three months married to her, sitting in
my state40--
SIR TOBY O, for a stone-bow41 to hit him in the eye!
MALVOLIO Calling my officers about me, in my branched42 velvet
gown, having come from a daybed43, where I have left Olivia
sleeping--
SIR TOBY Fire and brimstone!
FABIAN O, peace, peace!
MALVOLIO And then to have the humour of state47, and after a
demure travel of regard48, telling them I know my place as I
would they should do theirs, to ask for my kinsman Toby49--
SIR TOBY Bolts and shackles!50
FABIAN O peace, peace, peace! Now, now.
MALVOLIO Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make52
out for him. I frown the while, and perchance53 wind up my
watch, or play with my--54 some rich jewel. Toby approaches;
curtsies55 there to me--
SIR TOBY Shall this fellow live?
FABIAN Though our silence be drawn from us with cars57, yet
peace.
MALVOLIO I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my
familiar smile with an austere regard of control60--
SIR TOBY And does not Toby take61 you a blow o'the lips then?
MALVOLIO Saying, 'Cousin62 Toby, my fortunes having cast me
on your niece give me this prerogative63 of speech'--
SIR TOBY What, what?
MALVOLIO 'You must amend your drunkenness.'
SIR TOBY Out, scab!66
FABIAN Nay, patience, or we break the sinews67 of our plot.
MALVOLIO 'Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a
foolish knight'--
SIR ANDREW That's me, I warrant you.
MALVOLIO 'One Sir Andrew'-
SIR ANDREW I knew 'twas I, for many do call me fool.
Picks up the letter
MALVOLIO What employment73 have we here?
FABIAN Now is the woodcock near the gin.74
SIR TOBY O, peace! And the spirit of humours intimate75
reading aloud to him.
MALVOLIO By my life, this is my lady's hand77 these be her very
C's, her U's and her T's, and thus makes she her great P's.78 It
is in contempt of79 question her hand.
SIR ANDREW Her C's, her U's and her T's. Why that?
Reads
MALVOLIO 'To the unknown beloved, this, and my good
wishes.' Her very phrases! By your leave, wax. Soft! And the
impressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal.83 'Tis my
lady. To whom should this be?
FABIAN This wins him, liver85 and all.
Reads
MALVOLIO 'Jove knows I love,
But who?
Lips, do not move.
No man must know.'
'No man must know.' What follows? The numbers altered!90
'No man must know.' If this should be thee, Malvolio?
SIR TOBY Marry, hang thee, brock!92
Reads
MALVOLIO 'I may command where I adore,
But silence, like a Lucrece knife94,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:
M.O.A.I. doth sway96 my life.'
FABIAN A fustian97 riddle!
SIR TOBY Excellent wench, say I.
MALVOLIO 'M.O.A.I. doth sway my life.' Nay, but first let me see,
let me see, let me see.
FABIAN What dish o'poison has she dressed101 him.
SIR TOBY And with what wing the staniel checks102 at it!
MALVOLIO 'I may command where I adore.' Why, she may
command me! I serve her, she is my lady. Why, this is evident to
any formal capacity. There is no obstruction105 in this. And the
end -- what should that alphabetical position portend?106 If I
could make that resemble something in me. Softly: M.O.A.I.--
SIR TOBY O, ay, make up that. He is now at a c
old scent.108
FABIAN Sowter will cry109 upon't for all this, though it be as
rank110 as a fox.
MALVOLIO M. -- Malvolio. M. -- Why, that begins my name!
FABIAN Did not I say he would work it out? The cur112 is
excellent at faults.113
MALVOLIO M. -- But then there is no consonancy in the sequel114
that suffers under probation115: 'A' should follow but 'O' does.
FABIAN And O shall end116, I hope.
SIR TOBY Ay, or I'll cudgel him, and make him cry O!
MALVOLIO And then I comes behind.
FABIAN Ay, an you had any eye119 behind you, you might see
more detraction120 at your heels than fortunes before you.
MALVOLIO M.O.A.I. This simulation is not as the former.121 And
yet, to crush this a little, it would bow122 to me, for every one of
Reads
these letters are in my name. Soft, here follows prose: 'If this
fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars124 I am above
thee, but be not afraid of greatness: some are born great,
some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust
upon 'em. Thy Fates open their hands. Let thy blood and spirit127
embrace them. And to inure thyself to what thou art like128 to
be, cast thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be opposite129 with
a kinsman, surly with servants. Let thy tongue tang130
arguments of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity.131
She thus advises thee that sighs for thee. Remember who
commended thy yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever133
cross-gartered. I say, remember. Go to134, thou art made, if thou
desirest to be so. If not, let me see thee a steward still, the
fellow of servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers.
Farewell. She that would alter services137 with thee,
The Fortunate-Unhappy.138'
Daylight and champaign discovers not more. This is open.139 I
will be proud, I will read politic authors, I will baffle140 Sir
Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point-141
device the very man. I do not now fool myself, to let
imagination jade me; for every reason excites143 to this, that
my lady loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of
late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered. And in this
she manifests herself to146 my love, and with a kind of
injunction drives me to these habits147 of her liking. I thank
my stars, I am happy. I will be strange, stout148, in yellow
stockings, and cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of
putting on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a postscript:
Reads
'Thou canst not choose but know Reads
who I am. If thou entertainest152 my love, let it appear in thy
smiling. Thy smiles become thee well: therefore in my
presence still154 smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.' Jove, I thank
thee. I will smile. I will do everything that thou wilt have
me.
Exit
Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian come out of hiding
FABIAN I will not give my part of this sport for a pension of
thousands to be paid from the Sophy.158
SIR TOBY I could marry this wench for this device.159
SIR ANDREW So could I too.
SIR TOBY And ask no other dowry with her but such another
jest.
Enter Maria
SIR ANDREW Nor I neither.
FABIAN Here comes my noble gull-catcher.164
SIR TOBY Wilt thou set thy foot o'my neck?165
SIR ANDREW Or o'mine either?
SIR TOBY Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip167, and become thy
bondslave?168
SIR ANDREW I'faith, or I either?
SIR TOBY Why, thou hast put him in such a dream that when
the image of it leaves him, he must run mad.
MARIA Nay, but say true, does it work upon him?
SIR TOBY Like aqua-vitae173 with a midwife.
MARIA If you will then see the fruits174 of the sport, mark his
first approach before my lady: he will come to her in yellow
stockings, and 'tis a colour she abhors, and cross-gartered, a
fashion she detests. And he will smile upon her, which will
now be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addicted to a
melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn him into a
notable contempt.180 If you will see it, follow me.
SIR TOBY To the gates of Tartar181, thou most excellent devil
of wit!
SIR ANDREW I'll make one183 too.
Exeunt
Act 3 Scene 1
running scene 10 continues
Enter Viola and Clown [Feste, with a tabor]
VIOLA Save thee, friend, and thy music. Dost thou live by1
thy tabor?
FESTE No, sir, I live by the church.
VIOLA Art thou a churchman?
FESTE No such matter, sir. I do live by the church, for I do
live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.
VIOLA So thou mayst say, the king lies by7 a beggar, if a
beggar dwell near him, or the church stands8 by thy tabor, if
thy tabor stand9 by the church.
FESTE You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence10 is but
a cheveril11 glove to a good wit. How quickly the wrong side
may be turned outward!
VIOLA Nay, that's certain. They that dally nicely13 with
words may quickly make them wanton.14
FESTE I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.
VIOLA Why, man?
FESTE Why, sir, her name's a word, and to dally with that
word might make my sister wanton. But indeed, words are
very rascals since bonds disgraced them.19
VIOLA Thy reason, man?
FESTE Troth, sir, I can yield21 you none without words, and
words are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with
them.
VIOLA I warrant thou art a merry fellow and car'st for
nothing.
FESTE Not so, sir, I do care for something. But in my
conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be to care for
nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.
VIOLA Art not thou the lady Olivia's fool?
FESTE No, indeed, sir, the lady Olivia has no folly. She will
keep no fool, sir, till she be married, and fools are as like
husbands as pilchards32 are to herrings: the husband's the
bigger. I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of words.
VIOLA I saw thee late34 at the count Orsino's.
FESTE Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb35 like the sun, it
shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but36 the fool should
be as oft with your master as with my mistress. I think I saw
your wisdom38 there.
VIOLA Nay, an thou pass upon39 me, I'll no more with thee.
Gives money
Hold, there's expenses for thee.
FESTE Now Jove, in his next commodity41 of hair, send thee
a beard!
VIOLA By my troth I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for one43--
Aside
though I would not have it grow on my chin.-- Is
thy lady within?
FESTE Would not a pair of these have bred46, sir?
VIOLA Yes, being kept together and put to use.47
FESTE I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia48, sir, to bring
a Cressida48 to this Troilus.
Gives more money
&n
bsp; VIOLA I understand you, sir. 'Tis well
begged.
FESTE The matter, I hope, is not great, sir; begging but a
beggar. Cressida was a beggar.53 My lady is within, sir. I will
conster54 to them whence you come. Who you are and what
you would are out of my welkin. I might say 'element55', but
the word is over-worn.
Exit
VIOLA This fellow is wise enough to play the fool,
And to do that well craves58 a kind of wit:
He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
The quality60 of persons, and the time,
And, like the haggard, check61 at every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practice62
As full of labour as a wise man's art,
For folly that he wisely shows is fit64;
But wise men, folly-fall'n65, quite taint their wit.
Enter Sir Toby and Andrew
SIR TOBY Save you, gentleman.
VIOLA And you, sir.
SIR ANDREW Dieu vous garde, monsieur68.
VIOLA Et vous aussi. Votre serviteur69.
SIR ANDREW I hope, sir, you are, and I am yours.
SIR TOBY Will you encounter71 the house? My niece is desirous
you should enter, if your trade be to72 her.
VIOLA I am bound to your niece, sir. I mean she is the list73 of
my voyage.
SIR TOBY Taste75 your legs, sir, put them to motion.
VIOLA My legs do better understand76 me, sir, than I
understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
SIR TOBY I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
VIOLA I will answer you with gait and entrance.79 But we are
prevented.80
Enter Olivia and Gentlewoman [Maria]
Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours81
on you!
To Toby
SIR ANDREW That youth's a rare courtier. 'Rain
odours', well.
VIOLA My matter hath no voice85, lady, but to your own
most pregnant and vouchsafed86 ear.
To Toby
SIR ANDREW 'Odours,' 'pregnant' and 'vouchsafed'.
I'll get 'em all three all ready.88
OLIVIA Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my
hearing.90--
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Maria]
Give me your hand, sir.
VIOLA My duty, madam, and most humble service.
OLIVIA What is your name?
VIOLA Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.
OLIVIA My servant, sir? 'Twas never merry world95
Since lowly feigning was called compliment.96
You're servant to the count Orsino, youth.
VIOLA And he is yours, and his98 must needs be yours:
Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.
OLIVIA For100 him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,
Would they were blanks101, rather than filled with me!
VIOLA Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
On his behalf.
OLIVIA O, by your leave, I pray you.
I bade you never speak again of him;
But, would you undertake another suit106,