Extreme Measures

by Brenda Harlen

  "Colin, please."

  The words were a whispered plea, and he was more than happy to comply with her request. Since that day in his hotel room, he'd accepted and welcomed the inevitability of this moment, and he'd made damn sure he'd be prepared for it.

  He covered himself quickly with a condom then rose over her, and in one deep thrust, buried himself inside her. He felt her muscles contract around him, watched her eyes glaze, as he began to move. Slowly at first, long, deep strokes that reached through her body to her very soul.

  Her hips rose to meet his, again and again, in a perfectly choreographed mating dance. Here, at least, there were no barriers. No lies, no history. Nothing but the two of them, joined together, moving as one.

  The tempo increased, faster, faster, driving them both to unimaginable heights of pleasure. She locked her legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, deeper, into the slick heat of her core, until he could hear nothing else over the roar of blood in his head. He held tightly to the little bit of control he had left until he felt the spasms begin to wrack her body. Then he tumbled over the edge with her.

  Nikki lay silently beside Colin, her heart still pounding against her ribs, her skin still flushed with pleasure. She wasn't sure how long they remained tangled together on top of the sheets. Minutes? Hours? It didn't matter. She was too drained to move. Too satisfied to want Colin anywhere but exactly where he was, on top of her. The feeling of lightness was so strong, so all-encompassing, it almost managed to check the sense of panic growing inside her.

  Almost.

  With a soft groan, Colin lifted himself slightly to roll off her and landed face down on the mattress. He turned his head to nuzzle her throat, draped an arm across her waist. "I thought I remembered how good it was between us," he murmured. "I was wrong."

  She had been, too. The memories that had haunted her didn't begin to compare to the reality of making love with Colin.

  She didn't regret being intimate with Colin again. It was hard to have regrets when her body was still trembling with the aftereffects of pleasure. But she was worried. She'd wanted to hold back, to keep her heart intact. Instead she'd given him everything: her body, her heart, her soul.

  Not that he'd given her much choice. He'd been so tender and patient, his hands and lips almost reverent as they'd explored every inch of her body. Holding back had not been an option. Bit by bit, she'd felt her control slip away, her heart melt.

  She loved making love with Colin.

  She loved Colin.

  Nikki stiffened, the dreamy recollection jolted by an icy dose of reality. Of course she wasn't in love with Colin. Thinking she was in love just because they'd shared incredible sex was a predictable but inaccurate reaction to the situation.

  As if sensing her tension, Colin stroked a hand lazily down her spine. She exhaled slowly, forced herself to relax.

  "Having second thoughts already?" he asked.

  "No. I was just … um … thinking that I should get a drink … of water."

  "Okay." But he tightened his arm around her, brushed his lips over hers.

  She closed her eyes and melted into the kiss.

  "Water," she said, belatedly remembering what she'd planned to do. "I'm going to get some water."

  "Okay," he said again, lifting his arm so she could climb off the bed.

  She found her robe in the closet, wrapped it around herself and slipped out of the room.

  She didn't really need a drink. What she needed was some distance to think about the situation. But she filled the cup and put it to her lips.

  Everything would be okay, she assured herself, so long as she didn't start thinking about happily ever after. She and Colin were both consenting adults engaging in a mutually satisfying affair. She would enjoy it for as long as it lasted, and move on with her life when it had run its course. There was nothing wrong with sharing a physical relationship with Colin so long as she kept her heart out of it.

  Nikki sighed and refilled the cup, forced to admit, at least to herself, that it was too late to protect her heart. Whether she wanted to be or not, she was already emotionally involved with Colin. He was her ex-husband, the father of her daughter, the only man she'd ever loved. The only man she'd ever love.

  Oh, hell. She'd gone and done it again. She had fallen in love with Colin.

  Where were her self-preservation instincts when she needed them? How had she allowed this to happen?

  She sighed, recalling the awestruck wonder on his face when he first saw Carly, the complete contentment as he watched her perform some menial task, his infinite gentleness when he held her. How could she not love the man who so evidently loved their daughter?

  As if that wasn't enough to make Nikki tumble head over heels, there was the way he looked at her, as if she was the only woman in the world. The way he touched her, as no one else ever had.

  "You look deep in thought."

  Nikki turned to her cousin. "I didn't hear you come in."

  "Obviously," Arden said. "Is everything okay? Is Carly all right?"

  "She's fine. Or better, anyway."

  "Then why are you looking so pensive?" her cousin asked.

  "Nothing, I—"

  "Actually," Arden interrupted, "you don't look pensive so much as … dreamy."

  Nikki flushed. "You're being ridiculous."

  Arden lifted a brow. "Am I?"

  "Yes, I'm just thinking about Carly."

  "Really?" Arden smiled as she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Straining to peek through the doorway, her smile broadened. "If I had someone like that warming my bed, you can bet I wouldn't be thinking about anything else."

  Nikki felt her cheeks burning. "It's not…" She started to say that it wasn't what Arden was thinking, but the truth was, it was probably exactly what Arden was thinking.

  "Never mind," she muttered as Colin came into the kitchen, wearing only a pair of shorts riding low on his hips.

  "I just wondered what was taking you so…" His words trailed off as he spotted Arden. "Oh, hello, Arden."

  She nodded her acknowledgment. "Colin."

  "Arden was just going to bed," Nikki said pointedly.

  "All right." But she turned to Colin. "Remember, if you mess this up again, I'll have to track you down and hurt you."

  "Arden," Nikki said again.

  Her cousin shrugged unapologetically and sauntered out of the room.

  Nikki set her glass back on the counter, turned to Colin. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Arden likes to pretend she's my big sister."

  Colin slipped his arms around her waist, drew her toward him. "She's just looking out for you, as I'm sure you would do for her."

  "Yes, but…"

  "But?"

  "I don't want you to think that I have any … expectations. As far as our … relationship, is concerned."

  "Why wouldn't you have expectations?"

  "I just meant…" She exhaled audibly, searching for the words to explain what she meant. Gave up. "This is awkward."

  "It doesn't have to be," he told her, then closed his mouth over hers.

  She responded to his kiss. There were some aspects of their relationship that weren't awkward at all.

  "We should talk about this," she said when he'd ended the kiss.

  "Later," he promised, and swept her into his arms to carry her back upstairs.

  Colin had never realized how much he wanted a family until he'd started spending time with Nikki and Carly. His family. It didn't matter that he and Nikki were divorced, or that Carly didn't know he was her father. The only thing that mattered was that they belonged together, and he believed they deserved a second chance to be a family. Lying beside Nikki in her bed, he was even more convinced of that fact.

  The biggest obstacle—disregarding for a moment the threats against his life—would be convincing Nikki. It seemed that no matter what he did or how hard he tried, she was still waiting with bated breath for him to announce that he was leaving again.

&nb
sp; He'd never been the type of person to take things one step at a time. It had always been his philosophy to go after what he wanted, no holds barred. That was how he'd pursued Nikki the first time.

  But she wasn't the same woman anymore, he wasn't the same man he'd been five years earlier, and the stakes were much higher this time around. He didn't just want Nikki; he wanted their daughter. He wanted them both to be his. Forever.

  He knew Nikki had put up barriers around her heart. Self-preservation was a natural instinct. But the attraction between a man and a woman was natural, too, and whatever difficulties and mistrusts they had yet to overcome, there was no denying the strength of the chemistry between them.

  As he lay beside Nikki in the darkness of her room, their bodies still slick and heated from lovemaking, he knew that he didn't want just her body—he wanted her heart. Completely and unconditionally.

  "Are you going to let me stay tonight?" He was still on top of the covers, Nikki cradled close to his side. He skimmed his fingers over the slope of her hip, down her thigh. She had an amazing body—firm and supple and incredibly responsive.

  Nikki shook her head. "I don't want Carly to wake up and find you here."

  He could understand her concerns, but he didn't want to go. He didn't want to let her go. Because he knew that the minute he was out the door, she'd start to think, and she'd think of a hundred reasons why their making love had been a mistake.

  "How about if I set the alarm to get up at four o'clock?" he suggested, nuzzling her throat.

  "Carly might wake up in the night."

  "Does she usually?"

  "No," she admitted. "But if she did…"

  Colin sighed. "Okay, Nic. I'll go."

  "Thank you." She pressed her lips to his, then sighed into his mouth when he deepened the kiss. She wriggled against him, aligning her hips with his, and Colin's body responded immediately.

  "Didn't you say something about wanting me to go?"

  She wrapped her legs around him, drawing him back to her. "Later."

  It was much later before he thought about leaving again. Nikki had fallen asleep in his arms, but he stayed beside her, content to just hold her in his arms.

  Why had he ever given up this indescribable sense of peace and completion for a job that had taken him halfway across the country from the woman he'd loved? If they had the next fifty years together, he knew he would always regret those five years they'd been apart. Just as he knew he had no one but himself to blame for the loss.

  He also knew that he would dedicate every day of the rest of his life to proving to Nikki how much he loved her, if only she would give him a second chance. Despite his current position in her bed, he knew that nothing had changed between them. She was still wary and distrustful, and he was still an out-of-work former hockey player who didn't have a lot to offer—except that he loved her.

  When he found his eyes growing heavy, Colin reluctantly eased himself from the bed and found his discarded clothing on the floor. He dressed quietly, then pulled the covers up over Nikki. She stirred but didn't waken.

  He dropped a kiss on her forehead and whispered into the darkness of night the words he knew she wasn't ready to hear.

  "I love you, Nicole."

  Then he slipped out into the night, too preoccupied with thoughts of Nikki to notice the dark blue sedan parked across the street, the curl of smoke drifting through the partially open window or the shadow of the man watching.

  Chapter 12

  It was a struggle for Nikki to make the transition from sleep to wakefulness after getting precious little rest the night before. She remembered dozing off in Colin's arms at one point after they'd made love, and then waking with a start, instinctively knowing that he'd gone. Although it was what she'3 wanted, she found it difficult to fall back to sleep again without his warmth beside her. Instead she'd lain awake for a long time, thinking about their relationship.

  They never had gotten around to discussing their expectations, or lack thereof, and that worried her. Maybe she should have thought about setting the groundwork before she'd fallen into bed with him last night, but she'd been so relieved that Carly was feeling better, and so grateful to Colin for being there to help her through it, and—

  Oh, hell. Who was she kidding? She'd just wanted to jump his bones.

  But today was another day, and she knew it was important to reestablish some boundaries. Making love didn't make them a couple, and she had no intention of centering her life around him again. She was determined to enjoy what they had, for so long as they had it, and she wanted Colin to understand that she didn't harbor any expectations of a future together.

  She pushed off the covers and found her robe on the floor at the end of the bed, where Colin had tossed it after he'd slipped it from her body. Before he'd made love to her again. Just the memories caused her blood to heat, her skin to tingle, and she again felt a twinge of regret that she hadn't let him stay. It might have been nice to wake with him beside her, to make love with him as the sun was coming up.

  She wrapped the robe around herself, knotted the belt at the waist, then went in to check on Carly before heading downstairs for a much-needed cup of coffee. She pushed open Carly's bedroom door, found the bedding in a tangled heap, the bed empty, and her daughter's pajamas in a pile on the floor.

  Pleased that Carly was feeling well enough to be up and about already, Nikki followed the scents of fresh coffee and frying bacon as she made her way down the stairs.

  It was rare for Arden to cook. She was a good lawyer but a culinary disaster. Every once in a while, though, she'd attempt breakfast. Usually pancakes or French toast, and usually at Carly's request.

  Nikki sniffed. It didn't smell like anything was burning. Yet.

  But when she stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, she saw that Arden wasn't cooking breakfast today. She was seated at the table with a mug of coffee between her hands, and Colin was standing over the griddle.

  Something in Nikki's chest expanded, making it difficult to breathe. He looked so natural in her kitchen, with

  Carly sitting on the countertop a safe distance from where he was cooking but close enough that she could supervise the chefs activities.

  Nikki closed her eyes. It was all too easy to imagine that this scene was a normal occurrence, that Colin was going to stay around and be a permanent part of their lives. But because she knew he wasn't, because she knew this couldn't last, she locked the memory into her heart with all the others she'd been collecting over the past couple of weeks.

  "Can you make Kitty Kakes?" Carly asked, as Colin poured more batter onto the pan.

  "Kitty Kakes?" he echoed dubiously.

  "It's like a cat-shaped pancake," she explained. "It gives Cosmic Cat her super powers."

  "Oh." He scowled at the pan.

  Nikki tightened the belt of her robe and stepped into the kitchen. A man who couldn't draw a dog on paper couldn't be expected to make a cat with pancake batter. "I'll do it," she said, crossing to the grill.

  Colin turned to her, smiled as his eyes skimmed over her. The warmth of his gaze was as tangible as a caress, and equally unnerving. "Good morning," he said huskily.

  "Morning," she repeated, shooting a quick glance at her cousin, who seemed enthralled by the contents of her coffee cup.

  She kissed Carly's forehead and noted that it was cool to the touch. "Morning, sweetie. You must be feeling better."

  "I'm starving," Carly told her.

  Nikki smiled. Carly had managed to eat very little the day before; she'd managed to keep even less of it in her stomach.

  "We were going to bring you breakfast in bed," Carly said, sounding only a little disappointed. "But I'm glad you're up, 'cause now I get Kitty Kakes."

  Colin flipped the pancakes that were already on the grill. Then stepped back and handed the plastic pitcher of batter to Nikki.

  "What are you doing here?" she asked.

  "I told you I'd come by in the morning to see how Carly
was feeling," he reminded her.

  "I didn't think you meant at the crack of dawn." Nikki poured a small amount of batter on the grill to form a head, a larger amount for the body, then added two drops for ears and a thin tail.

  "It's after nine o'clock," he chided. "Hardly the crack of dawn."

  "I've never known you to be an early riser."

  His breath was warm on her earlobe as he leaned closer and whispered, "That's because I never had an incentive to get out of bed so long as you were in it with me."

  She stepped away from the grill, certain it was the heat from the stove that had caused her skin to flush. "Whose idea was it to make pancakes?"

  "Mine," Carly piped up.

  "But it was my idea to bring you breakfast in bed," Colin said, his voice pitched low enough that only she could hear. "I was hoping to find out if you still sleep in the nude."

  "Not with my daughter in the house," she assured him, then turned to the daughter in question. "How come you're dressed already?"

  "Auntie Arden's going to take me to her office to play on the 'puter, then we're going to a movie."

  Nikki selected a slice of bacon. "I don't think you should be going anywhere. You were very sick yesterday."

  "But I'm all better today," Carly assured her.

  Nikki glanced at her cousin.

  "I thought it might be good for her to get out of the house, and for you to have some time to yourself. Very low-key activities." Arden grinned. "For us, I mean."

  Nikki turned back to the griddle, nibbling on the bacon as she flipped Carly's pancake. She and Colin had to talk about what happened last night. His appearance here this morning, and Arden and Carly's unquestioning acceptance of it, concerned her. Not that she wasn't happy to see him, but she didn't want to start expecting him to be there. She didn't want to count on him.

  She dished up Carly's pancake and set the plate in front of her daughter. Carly picked up the syrup with both hands and drowned her pancake in it.

  Nikki shook her head but said nothing. She nipped another slice of bacon from the plate and poured herself a mug of coffee.

  "Aren't you going to eat?" Colin asked her as he prepared his own stack of pancakes, smothering butter between each layer and flooding syrup over the top.