Loving Liberty

by Belinda Boring

  “True, but I like what I see. I’m usually a good judge of character, as well.”

  “Really? So tell me what you think when you look at me.” I hadn’t meant to offer the challenge, but there was no way of taking it back. I’d be reduced to tears if I asked my family the same question, but something told me Oliver would never be that brutal. The way he’d taken care of me was more than enough proof.

  He didn’t speak for a few minutes, choosing instead to study me. It struck me how differently I felt being under such close scrutiny. It didn’t have the same violating, I-see-your-soul kind of factor to it. Reaching for the glass again, I took a small sip and waited patiently.

  “You seem like someone who paints a pretty picture on the outside.” His voice was low and even. “But on the inside, you’re screaming.”

  I gasped at how spot on he was. “You got all that from the few times we’ve spoken?”

  “Yep, and from watching you. I’m pretty sure that’s why you’re in here recovering from a panic attack. It didn’t take me long to figure out you’re not like the others out there. You don’t fit in, do you?”

  “I try. I try really hard but sometimes . . . it’s not enough.” It was a relief to confide in someone.

  “Why would you even want to? They all think the same, act the same and talk the same. Sounds pretty boring to me.” Oliver stopped looking at me and rested his forearms on his knees. “And, if I read you right, which I think I do, you want more from life than that. True?”

  All I could do was nod. I’d never had a stranger understand me so well. “You’re right.”

  “So again, let me ask you, why do you want to fit in with that crowd? Why not be your own person?”

  “Because it’s not what’s expected,” I blurted out. “I have obligations to my family and it doesn’t include going against everything I’ve been taught from birth.”

  “But it’s obvious you don’t like it. I saw how that other guy held you, the way he scowled over something you said. Is that really what you want? Is it worth you falling apart?”

  “Yes . . . no . . . I don’t know,” I admitted. “Sometimes I tell myself I just need to hang on a little longer, that I’ll find the courage I need to stand up for what I truly want; but it never happens. I don’t want to embarrass or anger my parents, so I settle. I keep quiet. I bury how I feel.”

  “Until it gets too much and you find yourself hiding away in a storage closet with a nosey guy who asks too many questions.” Oliver’s soft laugh filled the room.

  “Something like that, yes.” I joined in and the joy I felt caused the heaviness in my chest to lighten. “I appreciate you being here with me. I wasn’t exactly thinking straight, earlier. Hopefully your boss won’t be too angry with you taking a break.”

  “Don’t sweat it. This was more important. If he says something, I’ll just tell him my expert listening and counseling skills were needed. He’ll understand.”

  I took in another deep breath. It was time to head back outside and see how much trouble I was in. There was no doubt my absence had been noted and I would need to come up with a good excuse.

  “Let me ask one more question before you face everyone.” Oliver turned his body so he could watch me fully. “You don’t even have to answer me, just something for you to think about.”

  “Sure, what is it?” I asked, now curious. Sitting so close, I could almost count every eyelash framing his blue eyes and trace the square shape of his jawline with my fingers. There was definitely an attraction between us. I wanted to lean in and kiss him, just because. No guy had ever made me want to do that as badly as wanted to do it right now.

  “What do you want from life?” Grabbing my hand, he looked straight into my eyes. “You, Liberty Montgomery. No one else. Just you.”

  The answer was easy. I didn’t need any time to ponder on it. “I want to live my life so that every day I make a difference, and not just become a cookie cutter replica of my parents. I want to live.”

  “Then what are you going to do about it?” He didn’t give me time to respond, standing first and then helping me up from my makeshift seat. He pulled something out of his pocket, dimples faintly showing as he handed me a folded piece of paper. “I was hoping I’d have a chance to give you this. Don’t be afraid to use it.”

  Before I could see what it was, Oliver stepped closer and kissed my cheek. He smelled so good, his lips faintly brushing against my skin.

  “Hope to see you again, Liberty.” He gave me one last wink and then quickly left, closing the door behind him.

  I couldn’t stop smiling or tracing my fingers over my cheek. I’d just had one of the most amazing conversations, with a guy who made my whole body tingle. Not only that, but he’d also kissed me.

  I opened the piece of paper.

  No way! I couldn’t believe my eyes. Scrawled in small letters I read:

  Oliver Nichols. 423-5467. Call me.

  I now had a way to reach him.

  Chapter Three

  “You’re in so much trouble.”

  I didn’t bother looking over to my bedroom door. Erica wasn’t one to knock or respect the privacy of others. Her comment was a clear indication she had something on her mind and she wanted to taunt me with it. Staring down at the open textbooks before me on the desk, there were still hours of homework left before I would be finished. I had no time for her games.

  “I said, you’re in so much trouble. Ask me how I know.” Erica leaned her hip against my desk and picked up my Economics book. She flipped through it, bored, and let out a loud sigh as she tossed it back with the others. “Liberty?”

  “I’m busy. Can’t this wait?” I reread the small paragraph, having a hard time focusing. She didn’t budge and folded her arms before her, in an I-can-wait-forever stance, until I relented. Resigned, I sat back into my chair and rubbed my eyes. “Fine, how am I in trouble?”

  “I saw a certain someone coming out of a storeroom last night at Daddy’s dinner. Normally, I wouldn’t care why you were in there, but guess who else snuck out?” Glancing up at my sister, I could see she was clearly enjoying this. My stomach sunk but I tried to appear unaffected. She didn’t know all the details, but with her, it didn’t matter. The fact that it wasn’t my mother in here berating me indicated Erica wanted something. She made blackmail an art form.

  “I’m sure you’ll tell me.” I closed my homework to give her my full attention. All my energy was needed for this conversation because one wrong comment—just a small slip—and Erica would pounce on it. Somehow, I needed to downplay what had happened, even though it had been incredible.

  “That hired help I caught you flirting with a few weeks ago. Imagine that, Liberty. What was he doing in there with you? Are you doing something scandalous?” Erica’s voice positively dripped with smugness. Her knowing smile told me she would have no problem spinning this into a sordid story for our parents.

  I didn’t even try to explain. “What do you want, Erica? I trust there’s a reason why you’re telling me this.”

  “Oh, we’ll get there. First, I want to hear all the juicy details. Even though I have better manners and breeding, I’m also a woman; and that guy looked like he could give a girl the ride of her life.”

  My eyes widened in surprise. I’d never heard her talk so crudely, showing me a side of my sister that really wasn’t as prim and proper as she pretended to be. “Ride of her life?”

  “Oh, please.” She shook her head and laughed. “Like you don’t know what I mean. I saw how you looked at him during that fundraiser for that endangered bird or animal or whatever. So tell me, what was he like?”

  “You need to rein in your imagination, Erica. Nothing happened between Oliver and me.” The second I said his name, I knew I’d made a mistake.

  “Oliver, huh? So then how was Oliver? Can you imagine the look on our parents face when you introduce him to them? Priceless, I tell you. Priceless.” She clapped her hands in delight. Even though we were simil
ar in appearance, taking after our mother with blonde hair and blue eyes, it was the only thing we had in common. Whereas I didn’t like rocking the boat, Erica thrived in stirring up trouble. I strove to be respectful and avoid conflict. She could shred someone down to his or her soul with her sharp tongue.

  “I’m not going into this with you. Obviously you have a better version. Knock yourself out with that. I’m busy here.” I gestured to my abandoned homework. “Some of us are still trying to finish school.”

  Erica simply ignored me, perching herself on the edge of my desk. “Now, as your sister, I do believe it’s my responsibility to offer you some friendly counsel, even a small warning. Daddy will never approve of you being with someone so beneath you. If you’re going to flaunt your rebellion in front of the world, you need to learn discretion. Having sexual encounters in storerooms at social events is not the way.”

  She rattled off more advice as I tried to figure out what she really wanted. There was always an ulterior motive with everything Erica did. The trick was in uncovering it.

  “Cut to the chase. What do you want?” I asked firmly. “Don’t pretend we’re having some sisterly bonding moment here. We both know we don’t have that kind of relationship and you’d sooner throw me under a bus than save me. Spit it out.”

  “You really do take all the fun out of this.” She let out a heavy sigh before standing. The look on her face was the Erica I knew. “Fine. I don’t care if you want to spoil your reputation with this Oliver. What I do care about is that Mom seems to think you’re worthy of Andrew. He should’ve been mine, not yours. I do everything I’m told, I’m the model daughter, and what do I get in return? I’m forced to watch you with what’s mine. Do you hear that? Andrew Hampton is mine. Marrying him will give me everything; and I don’t want you ruining it. But you’ll do what you always do and mess it up, and then Andrew won’t even look twice at me.”

  “You want Andrew?” I was shocked. “Is that what this is all about?” I waved my hand to shoo her away. “You can have him. He’s a pretentious bore.” In a moment of spite, I added, “You’d be perfect for each other.”

  That was another mistake. My temper was always getting me into trouble.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” Her eyes drilled into me. Erica’s hands were now on her hips and she appeared set to flay me. She knew exactly what I meant. By repeating it, I would only be giving her ammunition to fully attack.

  “I’m tired. Please, no offense was intended. By all means, Andrew is yours for the taking. He told me he’d have his secretary call to arrange a dinner this week. I’ll simply tell her I’m not interested but you’d love to go in my place.”

  “Are you insane? You’ll do no such thing. I don’t want to appear so desperate that I’m taking your cast-offs.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to remind her that really, she was. He was clearly interested in me, not her.

  “Then how do you want me to do this?” My head was beginning to pound.

  Erica stood quickly, thinking as she paced back and forth. “You’ll go to dinner with him. Try to be somewhat charming so he’ll actually want to talk with you. Then throughout your conversation, discretely drop hints about how much I enjoy the same things as him, that I have similar tastes and beliefs.”

  “So you want me to pimp you on my date?”

  “Pimp? Where are you learning such crass terms, Liberty? Really, why Mom and Dad thought you were perfect for Andrew is beyond me.” She gave an exasperated sigh. “Yes, I want you to make it so that by the end of the night, Andrew is wondering why he isn’t dating me. You need to prove you have nothing in common with him as well. If all goes according to our plans, he’ll leave you for the night and then inquire about me to Daddy.”

  “You sure that’s going to work? What if he doesn’t fall for it? Wouldn’t it be better to just be honest? I can tell him I’m flattered by his attention, and then add something about you.”

  “You’ll do it exactly how I told you or I’ll go to Mom and tell her everything I saw. You really want to deal with that?” She raised her eyebrow in challenge. “It’s your choice, though. Or your funeral.”

  “Fine, we’ll do it your way. Now can you please leave?” All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep. Being manipulated by Erica was exhausting.

  “And just in case you think you can renege on our little deal here or think our parents won’t believe you were fraternizing with that waiter, I have a small incentive to make sure you hold up your end of the bargain.” She dipped her hand into her pant pocket and retrieved a familiar looking piece of paper.

  My heart began racing and I couldn’t drag my gaze away as she slowly unfolded it. Somehow she’d found Oliver’s phone number. This definitely sealed my fate—there was no way I could refuse her now.

  “How did you get that? Are you snooping through my room?” It took everything I had not to snatch it from her conniving fingers. I was tempted to sit on my hands, but instead clenched my jaw. Any effort I made in getting it back would just add fuel to the fire.

  “Don’t you know there are no secrets between sisters?” There was that smugness, again, in her voice.

  “Give it back, please.” I held my hand out for Oliver’s information. “You don’t need it for leverage. I’ve already agreed to go along with your scheme.”

  “I’m going to hold onto it a little longer. Just until I know for sure Andrew is mine. Once that happens, you can call your sick obsession all you want. Hopefully I’ll be around when that blows up. Should make life interesting, don’t you think?” She slipped the paper away and headed toward the door. “Don’t forget, Liberty.” She patted the side of her pocket. “I own you.” With another burst of laughter, Erica closed the door behind her.

  Leaning forward, I banged my forehead on my desk, groaning from frustration. I need to get out of here. I can’t keep letting them control my life. Even as the familiar thought entered my mind, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. It had been like this for so many years, and still, even with all my anger, I couldn’t bring myself to walk away. I’d had my moments of rebelling; of trying to fight for my own rights, but it always ended the same way—with me doing exactly what was expected.

  One day, Liberty. One day you’ll be strong enough to break their hold and stand on your own two feet.

  I took in a long breath, steadying my resolve. One day was right. I didn’t know how, but with each conversation like this, my desire became a little stronger. Once upon a time, I’d never have thought about flirting with a strange guy or arguing with my sister. Slowly but surely, change was happening. It just wasn’t fast enough for my liking.

  At least I still have this. Erica hasn’t completely won. Picking up a pen, I scribbled Oliver’s phone number down in my notebook. My sister was a fool if she didn’t realize I’d memorized the information within minutes of reading it.

  I pushed away from the desk and began getting ready for bed. Homework could wait until tomorrow. I had other things on my mind.

  The temptation to call Oliver was driving me crazy.

  I’d indulged in countless imaginary conversations with him—each filled with flirtations and laughter. Holding nothing back, we’d talk like I really wanted to, not like the Liberty I presented to the world. It was important to be real with him, to be myself.

  For the hundredth time today, I picked up my phone. My thumb hovered over the dial pad, itching to type his digits. It was frustrating that I couldn’t just add him to my contacts, but there was no guarantee someone else wouldn’t go snooping through my phone. Keeping the number memorized was a much safer alternative.

  Just call him, my inner rebel whispered. Who cares what everyone thinks. You like him and he likes you. It’s not going to hurt.

  Think about what your mother will do, your father, my inner good girl chimed in. Hers was the voice I always ended up listening to, but not tonight. I was tired of always doing what I was told, of being obedient. For once, I wanted a taste o
f following my own heart.

  Quickly dialing the number, I flopped on to my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I counted each ring, my stomach suddenly fluttering with excitement. When Oliver finally answered, his voice sounded like something forbidden. Doubt quickly surfaced, reminding me of all the ways this could go wrong.

  When he said, “Hello?” I acted out of pure fear. I hung up.

  Seconds later, my phone began buzzing, the screen showing it was Oliver returning my impulsive call. Anxious about whether to answer, and waiting for what seemed like forever, I eventually accepted.

  “Hello?” I sounded so timid and small.

  “Liberty?” From just one word, he knew it was me.

  “Umm, yeah. It’s me.” I wanted to kick myself over how stupid I was. Whatever impression I’d made the last time I’d seen him was rapidly disintegrating.

  “I was wondering if you’d call me. Hoping, actually.”

  “I can be brave, see?” I nervously laughed and he quickly joined in.

  “So, just how far do you want to take this bravery of yours? Think you have enough courage to meet me for dinner?”

  For some reason that made me think of Andrew and I cringed. “How about lunch? One of my classes tomorrow was cancelled, so I can take an extra-long break. Can you meet me at the University?”

  “Name the place and I’m there.” There was no pausing on his end. Oliver was eager to meet up.

  “I’ll be on my bike, so it shouldn’t be hard finding a parking spot. Do you have somewhere you prefer?”

  “Well . . .” My mind went blank. I’d been going to school for almost two years and I rarely ate at the local restaurants. I mostly took my own lunch, and, if there was time, my parents preferred me to come home to eat.

  “How about I meet you on campus then we’ll take it from there? I’m sure there are plenty of places in Downtown Seattle to choose from. What time?” Oliver asked.