Loving Liberty

by Belinda Boring

  “Everything. Oh my gosh, I can’t even begin to comprehend how badly things could go.” I wrapped my arms around my stomach, holding myself together.

  “For you or for your parents?” Oliver asked. “I’m playing devil’s advocate, here. What is the worst that could happen?” There was that question, again.

  “They would be disappointed in me. I’d make wrong choices and need rescuing. Knowing that despite what I want, they really do know what’s best for me.” The answers poured out of me, leaving my greatest fear bare and ready to be spoken. “That whatever freedom I enjoyed would be completely stripped away and lost. I would rather never get a glimpse, than to have it and lose it.”

  “You really are misnamed.” There was a hint of sorrow in his voice.

  “Tell me about it. It’s hard living with that name when I feel helpless and trapped by fear. I’d give anything to say, ‘who cares’. I know I’m hypocrite because even though I hate my life, I don’t do anything to change it.”

  “You called me, didn’t you? Hearing you talk right now tells me what an incredible risk you took. Tells me you’re a lot braver than you give yourself credit for. Maybe you’re ready to make those changes you’ve been dreaming of. It all starts with baby steps.”

  I shook my head, trying to shake away my conflicting thoughts. What he was saying made sense, but it also contradicted everything I’d been raised to believe. “I keep telling myself, ‘one more year’. Give my parents one more year of an obedient daughter and then I’ll speak up. But as time goes by, it never happens. I started wondering what freedom might be like when I graduated from high school, but then my parents started talking about enrolling me in UW School of Business so I could work at my father’s advertising firm. Before I knew it, they were still controlling everything. I’m afraid to start hoping again.”

  “So do it. Let this be the last year of your life that you give them.”

  “It’s not the simple, Oliver.” I sighed, playing with a fry on my plate. “Now there’s talk of marriage and finding a suitable husband. It’s never ending and all I can think about is that I’m suffocating and my opportunity to be myself is disappearing right before my eyes.”

  “Yet, you called me,” Oliver reminded. “That has to count for something.”

  “That’s why I said you were dangerous.” I tore my focus away from my food and looked up at him. “You make me think that maybe, just maybe, it’s possible.”

  Oliver started to speak but I raised my hand. “Enough about me and my drama. I really didn’t want to spend our time together talking about this. Tell me about you. I can’t believe we’ve been sitting here all this time and I know nothing other than you work for a catering business and ride a motorcycle.”

  “What do you want to know? Ask away.” Oliver ate the last of his burger and wiped his mouth. “Just don’t forget to keep eating.” He winked, and I took another small mouthful.

  “Do you go to school? Work?” I sipped on my lemonade before eating a fry. “I mean, other than with your friend.”

  “I did go to school, but I graduated a year ago.” When I raised my eyebrow, he nodded. “I studied to become an architect and finished top of my class.”

  “So do you work for one of the local firms?” I pushed aside my plate. I couldn’t eat another bite.

  “No, I applied around shortly after school, but I got distracted. Mostly I do odd jobs that help pay the bills. I work for Pete part time and I DJ at a night club.” He pointed at my remaining food and I nodded. Picking it up, he started finishing it. “I’d hate to see a good burger go to waste.”

  “So, you don’t use your education?” I couldn’t believe he’d gone through all those classes and years for nothing.

  “I know what you’re thinking, but I figure eventually I’ll start my own company or go work for someone else. Right now, I’m happy with how my life is. I make the rules and I do what I want.”

  Definitely dangerous, I whispered to myself. “And your parents are fine with it?”

  Oliver chuckled and relaxed back into his seat. He’d polished off my burger, leaving a few fries. “We’re a lot more alike than you think.” He paused when Jessica returned to fill our drinks. When she asked if there was anything else she could get us, we both shook our heads.

  “How’s that?” I asked. He seemed to be everything I wasn’t and I was definitely curious.

  “Once upon a time there was a young boy called Oliver, who had a father just like yours. He controlled everything his son did, made his decisions for him, and kept him on a very tight leash.”

  “No way! How did you break away?” It didn’t make sense. Suddenly I was leaning forward, hanging on his every word.

  “I grew up and I fought for what I wanted.” Oliver stared straight into my eyes and I could feel truth in his statement. “It wasn’t easy. There were days when I wondered if I was out of my mind for defying him, but it was worth it. We have a strained relationship now, but I wouldn’t sacrifice the life I have and go back to the way it was for anything. So yeah, when I say I understand what you’re going through, I mean it.”

  I was stunned. Here was proof that someone had broken free of their cage and was actually experiencing life. He didn’t appear lost or helpless. He looked happy and confident. I wanted that more than anything.

  “Didn’t expect that, did you?” Oliver shifted to the side and pulled out his wallet. Tossing some money onto the table to cover our bill, he started sliding out of the booth. Not wanting to leave just yet, my reluctance must have shown on my face. “We’re not going anywhere. Since we have some time left, there’s something I want to show you. We can keep talking.”

  “Good,” I answered, letting him help me up. “Thanks for lunch. Jessica was right. That was the best burger I’ve ever had.”

  “I’m sure she’ll like hearing that.” Oliver’s hand slid around my waist to lead me. He steered me over to an empty pool table. “You ready to try another new thing?”

  Accepting the pool stick he handed me, I looked at him warily. “I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t know how to play. I’ll probably be horrible. Are you sure you want to teach me?”

  “I’m sure. I’m an amazing teacher.” He began setting up the balls and I watched closely as he stretched across the felt, placing them in position. His black jeans showcased his lower body perfectly, tightly fitting across muscled legs. It was hard not to stare at how his butt filled them out. He looked sinful with his biceps flexing each time he moved and his black shirt revealing the contours over his chest and six-pack. I wanted to pinch myself when he turned his bright blue eyes my way. Guys like him didn’t seem real.

  “Ready?” he asked, brushing his hair away from his face, aware I was checking him out. His hand beckoned for me to approach and I let out a soft sigh. He stepped away from the table, waiting for me to come stand in front of him, sandwiched between him and the table. “I’m going to have you break, okay?” He moved in closer and I prayed my legs wouldn't give out. I could feel every inch of him pressed against me.

  “Okay,” I stammered. Oliver chuckled low in my ear and I tried not to shiver from the sensation. Bending me forward with his body, he showed me how to position the stick, his arm alongside mine. We fit perfectly.

  “Still with me, Liberty?” He asked. I didn't want to move. We were so connected, the position so intimate, I was sure I’d melt on the spot. Andrew had tried holding me this close and all it did was make my skin crawl. It was the complete opposite with Oliver. This made me feel reckless.

  “Uh huh.” It was the only way I could respond.

  “It’s just you need to keep breathing, sweetheart.” This endearment made my insides ripple. “Be brave.”

  I took in a deep breath and relaxed. It was the worst thing I could’ve done because now I was even more aware of how his body kept me firmly in place and I blushed. I was way out of my league with him. But, in spite of everything, I loved every minute of it.

  �
�Keep your arm loose. Yes, just like that. See how you can move the stick? Form your other hand like this. Okay, now pull back slowly. You want to make sure you hit the white ball just right. Strike it with enough force and it’ll knock the other balls apart.”

  I was having a hard time focusing on his instructions with his mouth so close to my ear. Every time his breath caressed my skin, it released a tremor. “Like this?” I moved my arm back and forth carefully.

  “Perfect. Now, on the count of three, I want you to do it again and hit the white ball. One. Two.” He stepped away and I instantly missed his warmth. “Three.”

  I did as he coached and a loud crack filled the air. The white ball shot across the table, slamming into the colored balls, separating them with ease. I watched as a striped ball rolled close to one of the far pockets, stopping right on the edge before dropping in. Twirling around, I let out an excited laugh and found Oliver grinning from ear to ear.

  “I knew it. You’re a natural!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands.

  “It was beginner’s luck.” I beamed, feeling proud of myself.

  “Think you can do it again?” Oliver asked, walking around as he studied where the other balls had stopped. “You’re stripes, so it means for the rest of the game, you only sink the striped ones. Come see this.” He waved me over, crouching down to show me something. “If you line up your pool stick just right, when you hit the white, it should make that ball head straight for the corner pocket.” He stood up and leaned over the edge of the table, his finger pointing at the white ball. “Right there, Liberty. That’s where you want to hit it.”

  I was still focused on the way his muscles tightened as he moved. He was completely distracting, but I nodded that I understood. “Shouldn’t be too hard, right?” I lined myself up like he just showed me, making sure I was holding the stick just right. I shifted a little, concentrating on my target.

  “Wait a minute,” Oliver interrupted and he helped me into a better position. His hands were firm against my skin and his body molded with mine briefly, as he checked to see that I was aligned correctly. “That’s better. Now try.”

  I was still flustered when I pulled the stick back, not paying any attention to how much force I was using. There was an even louder crack as the white ball flew across the table and hit the intended target. Hard. It catapulted the ball toward the pocket, but it didn’t stop. Horrified, I watched as it hit the corner and sailed up into the air before crashing down on the floor and rolling away.

  “Oh no!” I yelled, chasing after it. Oliver’s laughter followed me and when I finally caught the wayward ball, I sheepishly brought it back to the table. “I totally meant to do that.”

  He just grinned and nodded. “I bet you did.”

  Standing to the side, I waved for him to take his turn. “Then, by all means, show me how it’s done.” Oliver quickly got into position; taking a few seconds to test whether his shot would do what he wanted. Caught up in the moment, I acted without thinking. As he readied himself to release the pool stick, I leaned in beside him, my voice low. “Nice and easy.”

  My distraction worked. He missed the white ball completely and I let out a loud cry of delight.

  “You did that on purpose!” He accused, turning to face me. Whether it was the giddiness of the moment or insanity, I had the urge to step closer and let him wrap his arms around me.

  “Nuh uh. I’m a beginner, remember? I’m just doing what you taught me.”

  Oliver shook his head, muttering under his breath about needing to keep an eye on me. “Looks like it’s your turn again, Miss Cheater.”

  I stuck my tongue out and began looking to see which ball to hit. His gaze followed me around the table as I bent and crouched. There was something heated in the way he watched my every move. Not once did he look away and I even caught him licking his lips, making me wonder, again, what it would be like to kiss them.

  Somehow we managed to finish a game before I realized it was time to head back to campus. We were having so much fun; part of me didn’t want it to end. Waving good-bye to Jessica, I thanked her for the great choice and promised I’d try to come again.

  “This was amazing,” I said as he handed me the helmet. “Thank you for this. I won’t ever forget it.”

  “You’re talking as if this will never happen again,” he answered, helping me onto the back of his bike.

  “Well, I don’t know if I can.” I hedged. I’d spent the last thirty minutes trying to figure out a way to keep Oliver in my life and please my family at the same time.

  “Do you want to keep seeing me?”

  “It’s not that simple.” I fidgeted with the straps. “If my parents found out . . .”

  “Then they find out, Liberty. I don’t want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, but the girl I just had lunch with and beat me at pool had fun. Tell me you didn’t enjoy that.”

  “Of course, I did.” I met his gaze and held it. “I wish every day could be like this.”

  “Then don’t let go of that bravery, yet. In fact.” Oliver stepped closer, tilting my chin up with his finger. “I think you’re more than ready. Do you trust me?”

  I searched his features, looking longingly into his eyes before digging deep for the courage to follow my heart. I wanted to say yes, so badly. I wanted more experiences like today and my instinct told me that Oliver could help me have them.

  “It’s such a risk, though.”

  “But one worth taking. How about this? Let me show you what life can be like. Don't run away from me so soon.”

  The word yes was on the tip of my tongue as my gaze fell to his lips. I did want to spend more time with him. In just a short period of time, Oliver had become important to me. “Promise me, I won’t regret it,” I whispered.

  “Haven’t I already shown you what an amazing teacher I am?” He grinned, brushing his finger across my cheek. “You can do this, Liberty. You just have to believe in yourself like I do.”

  “You barely know me.” I chuckled, ducking my head.

  He raised my chin again, refusing to let me look away. “I know enough that even though this will be a challenge, we’ll find a way to make it work.”

  I couldn’t refuse him. It was even more difficult ignoring the loud voice in my head demanding I accept his offer.

  “I still say you’re dangerous, Oliver Nichols,” I murmured. “Let’s do it.”

  “I was hoping you’d say, ‘yes’. Welcome to your new life, sweetheart.” Helping me put the helmet on, he looked like he wanted to say something more, but instead shook his head and lowered the visor.

  I was a bundle of excitement as we drove back to campus. A hundred thoughts raced through my mind, but there was only one I focused on.

  Welcome to your new life.

  Chapter Six

  The endless drone of my professor’s voice threatened to sink me into a deep coma.

  It had been like this the entire day. Classes I once sat riveted in, furiously taking page after page of interesting notes, now made me feel as though my brain would shut down at any moment. It took every ounce of energy not to let out an unladylike snore, propping my head up on my hand in an attempt to seem somewhat interested.

  What is wrong with me?

  I caught myself slouching in my chair and sat up straighter. Simply moving stirred a restlessness that set in sometime during my second class and kept getting pushed back down under a heavy load of responsibility. I avoided looking out the window, ignoring how brightly the sun was shining. Instead, I focused hard on the whiteboard the professor was now scribbling across.

  Start writing, Liberty. This is important. Professor Stephens said this material would be on the next test.

  Picking up my pen, I tried deciphering the lesson notes. Suddenly, it all seemed like gibberish, not the somewhat logical cycle of marketing. This class had proven to be an easy one from the beginning. I’d shown a natural flair, maintaining my A with very little effort. But something wasn’t
right. At this rate, I would be lucky to put two complete sentences together, let alone an entire promotional plan or whatever the assignment he’d now revealed on the board.

  I didn’t need to look down at my spiral notebook to know what was affecting me—what had turned my brain from high functioning business development machine to a pile of mush. My hand had been moving, taking notes, but not about anything that related to this class.

  In large flourishing swirls and small confident strokes, Oliver’s name now covered yet another sheet of paper, joined by a variety of doodled hearts, some with arrows through them. Just one day after my having lunch with him, Oliver had totally derailed my concentration, rendering me a mess.

  I’m a control freak, priding myself on always being in control. It was the only way to survive within my family—always keeping myself reined in. Following the rules, doing what I was told, and keeping all flights of fancy far, far away. Any form of weakness was quickly pounced on and eviscerated. If my mother saw my notebook now, with all my new tender feelings displayed with abandon, she’d call for an immediate intervention. These things were never tolerated.

  I needed to be careful. Even though I’d only just struck the deal with Oliver, there was no guarantee how long his plan to introduce me to the world would take. Experience told me that once people realized they had a lost cause on their hands, they gave up quickly. Oliver definitely had the life I envied, but he didn’t owe me anything. Nothing was forcing him to stick around. For all I knew, I was just a project to him.

  You know that’s not how it is, my inner voice chided. And even if you were, aren’t you even the least bit curious to see what could happen?

  Chewing the end of my pen, I was clearly at war within myself. It had been like this since I met him but had escalated since our lunch. His offer to show me what could be, blew open a huge hole in my heart that rapidly filled with hope. But try as I might, there was no stopping the doubt that was also lurking there.