All's Fair in Love and Blood: A Romantic Comedy Novel

by Jennifer Peel

  Anyway. Cake crumbs. I think I just about had them.

  “Scarlett,” a sexy voice drawled.

  My head popped up to see Kane walking my way. Yep, my hand was still down my bra aaand . . . I’m pretty sure the ring I always wore on my right hand was now stuck on it. It was a tiny diamond ring—my momma’s promise ring. Auggie had gifted it to me on my sixteenth birthday. It was the most tender thing he had ever done for me. He had called me into his study that day and, with some emotion, told me he had given the ring to my mother on her sixteenth birthday. He had promised her that day that he would marry her, but first he needed to make something of himself. He’d made good on both accounts. But right now, that didn’t really help my precarious situation. Why did these kinds of things always happen to me?

  Kane, in all his beautiful black tux glory, stopped a few feet in front of me with his head tilted. I had to squint hard to see the more-than-concerned look wash over his angular face, which had the finest layer of stubble I’d ever seen.

  I think he may have believed I was having a mental episode. He wasn’t too far off.

  “Um . . . some crumbs dropped down my bra.” Did I just say bra in front of him? “What I meant was, my breasts.” Oh. My. Gosh.

  Kane pressed his lips together, obviously holding back the laughter that was dancing in his gorgeous eyes.

  “My ring got caught,” I lamely added.

  “Ah. That does present a problem, now, doesn’t it?”

  I nodded.

  “Would you like some assistance?” he hesitantly asked.

  “Maybe you could turn around,” I suggested.

  “Yes, of course.” He spun on his heels and faced the other way.

  I did my best to yank the ring loose, to no avail. The bra was going to rip.

  “What are you doing out here all alone?” he asked while waiting.

  “Oh, uh, watching a docuseries on YouTube.” Could I sound any more like a lunatic?

  His silence said he agreed with the lunatic assessment. Who watches YouTube videos at her father’s wedding reception?

  I kept yanking.

  “What’s the name of the show?” he asked after a long pause.

  “It’s called Confessions of a Forensic Pathologist.”

  “Sounds intriguing. Would you like some help?”

  I weighed my options. Rip my bra and risk a possible nipple situation—which, unfortunately, wouldn’t be my first one. Call Mindy to come save me and pray no one else catches me in my current situation. Or, let Kane unzip my dress to give me some working space. None of these were good options.

  “I promise not to look.”

  A stupid girlish giggle escaped me. “Okay. Could you unzip me a little?”

  He turned around and gave me a heart-stopping smile that I could see even despite how blind I am. “You’re in luck; I’m good with zippers.”

  I had no doubt he had a PhD in unzipping dresses. Look at the man. Between the SPANX and him, I found I couldn’t breathe. At. All.

  He stepped toward me. The closer he got, the hotter my skin burned. I was getting so hot my boobs were starting to sweat. Great, I was going to pull out a wet hand. This was going down as the most embarrassing moment of my life. And that was saying something.

  He knelt next to me. He was kind enough not to stare at my hand stuck in my bra. Instead, his eyes peered into my own. “You have unusual eyes.”

  Well, I was an unusual girl. I always had been. Unusual though sounded nicer, than strange or weird, which I also got a lot of. “Thanks.” I couldn’t keep the disappointment out of my voice.

  “I think you’re taking that wrong.”

  “How should I take it?” I truly wanted to know.

  He leaned in a little closer. Was he tipsy? I could smell the champagne and strawberries on his breath. It was intoxicating and making me hungry. Stop it, Scarlett. I was being silly. There was no reason to get drunk off him or have any weird sensations coursing through me. No man ever had any interest in me. Unless I counted Hugh Giles. He’d been following me around since we’d ended up in the same study group last year. He was nice enough, but he lacked proper hygiene and chewed with his mouth open. Unfortunately, I was beginning to think the Hughs of the world were my only option. That was why I planned on giving my life to medical school and my career.

  Who needed men?

  Staring into Kane’s eyes had me thinking maybe I did. It was like looking into pools of liquid caramel chocolate, which definitely didn’t help the growing hunger I felt.

  “Scarlett,” he said my name like no one ever had. Tenderly, with a hint of excitement. He was definitely drunk. “You have beautiful eyes. I’ve never seen a shade of green so dark. They’re almost opaque, as if you’re hiding secrets. Are you hiding secrets?”

  I lost all ability to speak for a moment or two. “Um . . . No. I mean, unless you count the crumbs in my bra.”

  He barked out a masculine but melodic laugh. “We should probably take care of that.”

  “If you wouldn’t mind.” I nervously sat up and scooted away from the wall on my butt. The chiffon glided nicely against the floor. I could only imagine how ridiculous I looked.

  Kane moved into place.

  “Don’t let the dress fall and keep your eyes closed,” I begged.

  “Darlin’, like I said, I’m good with zippers.”

  No one had ever called me darlin’ before. A travesty, since I had grown up in Georgia. Yet, I couldn’t imagine anyone saying it as alluringly as he did.

  “Okay, I’m ready,” I eeked out.

  “Relax,” he whispered against my bare skin.

  My stupid body broke out in goose bumps, which was a first.

  I heard the zipper go down before I felt the release of pressure on my chest. Oh, blessed relief. If only I could have taken the entire dress off and changed into some sweats.

  “Imagine how this looks, me undressing my new stepsister and boss’s daughter while at our parents’ wedding.” Kane chuckled to himself.

  “Don’t worry, we won’t be related for long.” My left hand went to work extracting my right hand.

  “Not worried in the least. I’ve been in more compromising positions than this.”

  I swallowed hard, imagining all the possibilities. Except my imagination wasn’t all that good when it came to the opposite sex. “Oh really,” I squeaked out.

  He laughed again. “Nothing to worry yourself about. You about done up there?”

  My hand was finally loose, with minimal damage to the lacy bra. “Yes,” I breathed out.

  He zipped me right back up.

  I immediately scooted away from him and sat back against the wall. “Thank you.”

  To my surprise, he seemed in no hurry to leave. Instead, he studied me like he seemed to do every time he was around me. It was unnerving. I looked down at myself, wondering if I had stained the dress with frosting or something. Or worse, maybe I had some on my lips. My hand flew up to my mouth, just in case.

  “Are you all right?” he questioned.

  “I have frosting all over my lips, don’t I?” I mumbled through my hand.

  He reached for my hand and pulled it away. His touch sent searing waves of electricity through me. “You don’t need to be nervous around me. Your lips are . . .” He paused, then dropped my hand. “Well, let’s just say there’s no frosting on them.”

  I clasped my hands together in my lap.

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out my glasses. “I thought you might want these.”

  Gratefully, I took the black-framed square lens glasses and put them on. His face came in loud and clear. I pushed myself as far back against the wall as I could, stunned by his beautiful presence. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “I’m sorry if my mother or sister did anything to offend you today.”

  I shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “That makes it worse. I hope you don’t think you deserved their treatment.”r />
  I began to nervously twist my curls around my finger. “I try not to think about it.”

  He pressed his lips together, seemingly unsatisfied by my answer. “Is that why you’re out here all alone?”

  “No. I like to be alone.” I had spent most of my life alone, so it seemed natural.

  “I’m disturbing you, then?” His tone was playful.

  “No,” I stuttered.

  “Good.” He leaned back against the wall next to me.

  This was totally unexpected. I had no idea what to say or do. All I could manage was getting lost in the spicy scent of his cologne. It reminded me of the soft ginger cookies Naomi made every Christmas.

  “Can I ask you a question?” he pierced the awkward silence.

  “Sure.”

  “Why do you always sit on the floor? I noticed you do the same thing in your office at work.”

  Office? It was more like a closet, and I had a bit of claustrophobia, which was why I kept the door open. I supposed that’s how he had noticed my odd habit. I shouldn’t complain—most interns had cubicles. That was one perk of being the boss’s daughter. “Well,” I was embarrassed to say, though nothing should have been able to further embarrass me by this point. “I don’t know how to put it other than I have farther to look up.”

  His left brow popped like a Hollywood star.

  I smoothed out my dress. “I know it sounds weird. It’s just a reminder that I can always do better.”

  A smile grew on his beyond beautiful face.

  I bit my lip. “What?”

  “You are—”

  “Unusual?” I finished for him. “I know.”

  “I don’t think you do know. I was going to say intriguing.”

  My cheeks pinked. “Intriguing sounds nicer.”

  He tugged on one of my errant curls. “I meant what I said.”

  I liked that he thought I was intriguing. Still, I had no idea how to behave around him. My body was having all sorts of physiological reactions to him, from a raised pulse to sweaty palms. “You probably want to get back to the wedding,” I suggested out of nerves.

  “Not really. Weddings are boring as hell. And this one is particularly . . .”

  “Weird?”

  “Yes,” he conceded.

  “I know it’s hard to watch your parent marry, but after a few times, it gets easier,” I assured him.

  “I suppose you would know best, wouldn’t you?”

  More than I ever wanted to. “I hope your mom isn’t going to be too heartbroken when this one doesn’t last.”

  “She’s been warned,” he grumbled.

  “In that case, I hope you won’t hate my father too much when he breaks her heart.”

  “I’m good at separating my business life from my personal one.”

  “That’s good. I’ve heard Auggie mention you’re a rising star.”

  Kane chuckled. “We’ll see. How about you? Your father has big plans for you.”

  “Yep,” I sighed.

  “You sound like you don’t like those plans.”

  I pursed my lips together, thinking about what to say. I didn’t know this man, though technically we were related now. And, sadly, he probably talked to Auggie more than I did. “I love pathology.” It wasn’t a lie; I just didn’t want to specialize in the kind of pathology Auggie expected me to—laboratory medicine. Auggie saw me as the future chief medical officer of Armstrong Labs and eventually taking the helm of the company. I wanted to be a forensic pathologist. Somehow though what I wanted had never really mattered much. So, I would do what I had to do and hope that it would give me what I really wanted—Auggie’s ear and heart.

  He tilted his head and studied me once again. “I think you are keeping secrets behind those eyes.”

  I shrugged.

  He leaned in, his warm breath against my skin making me shiver. “Maybe someday you’ll tell me some,” he drawled in a whisper.

  I took a deep breath in and let it out. He was going to make me hyperventilate. When I got control of the flutterings happening all over my body, I peered into his eyes, and for some unexplainable reason, I wanted to tell him everything about myself, even though he would probably think I was a nutjob. Or maybe he was only being nice to me because . . . “How much champagne have you had tonight?”

  He flashed me a crooked grin. “Not nearly enough. Would you like to join me for a glass?”

  “Uh . . .” Yes. “That’s okay.” I couldn’t imagine why he wanted to have a drink with me.

  “I’ll take a rain check.” He seemed determined. Odd. Odder than me.

  I picked up my phone out of nerves, not knowing what else to do.

  “You probably want to get back to your show,” he guessed.

  I nodded, though I really wanted him to stay.

  He stood, brushed off his pants, and straightened his jacket. Wow, he was quite the specimen. He gazed down on me, smiling. “Watch out for those cake crumbs.”

  I giggled and blushed. “Thanks for helping me.”

  “Anytime.”

  I found myself very much wishing he would be around anytime I needed him. Though I knew better than to hope and have dreams. They never came true.

  The Red Dress

  “There’s something different about you.” Naomi stabbed a cherry tomato with her fork.

  It was our obligatory after-the-wedding lunch we’d been having since stepmother number three. But instead of taking me to Chuck E. Cheese like she used to when I was a little girl, we went to the Cheesecake Factory now. Much better, in my opinion, except I couldn’t whack a mole, which was highly therapeutic. Not to say cheesecake didn’t provide plenty of TLC.

  “Different?” I questioned before shoving a fry in my mouth. Fries were also a good source of comfort.

  “You’re not your normal post-wedding solemn self.”

  I chewed and swallowed. “That’s because the newlyweds are honeymooning for two weeks in Bora-Bora.” And maybe it had something to do with Kane, but I would never say that out loud because it’s insane. One gorgeous man talking to me shouldn’t be a reason to celebrate, although it felt like quite the victory. It did make the wedding more bearable.

  Naomi snorted. “Does Eva know she’ll be the only one on vacation?” She did her best to keep the bitterness out of her voice but didn’t quite succeed.

  “I’m sure she’s figuring that out right about now.”

  Auggie was always connected and known to spend hours a day working while on vacation. Once, he took Cindy, Mindy, and me to Disney World and only left the hotel room once. That was after I’d begged him for three days to tour Animal Kingdom with us. He’d relented but spent half the time conducting business on his cell phone.

  Naomi placed her delicate hand over mine. “Are you sure you’re doing okay?”

  “Are you?” I gave her a sad smile. I knew how much she loved my father.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” She tucked some of her medium-length silver hair behind her ear.

  I admired Naomi for embracing her age. She had never once dyed her hair or used any fillers or Botox like the latest stepmother. Even so, Naomi was ten times more beautiful. Her laugh lines and crow’s-feet only meant she smiled a lot. And her brilliant turquoise eyes still shone. They spoke of how wonderful and kind she was. She was too good for my father. However, I got it—despite our vast differences, I loved him and was desperate for him to love me back.

  “He doesn’t love Eva,” I tried to comfort her. “I’m not sure he’s capable of loving anyone.” I shoved two more fries in my mouth.

  Naomi sighed and set down her fork. “Sweetie, your father loves too deeply. That’s his problem.”

  I rolled my eyes. We’d had this conversation a hundred times. Naomi was convinced my father was too afraid to love anyone after my momma died. Or, I should say, after the manner in which she died.

  “He blames me.”

  She shook her head vehemently. “No. He blames himself. Your mother’s po
stpartum depression was something he couldn’t fix. It was something he didn’t want to believe she had.”

  That part I knew. It was how Naomi had come to be in our lives. Auggie hadn’t believed my momma had taken her own life. He’d refused to accept it when the coroner labeled her death as a suicide. He had hired Naomi, a private forensic pathologist, to try and disprove the county medical examiner’s claim. Naomi couldn’t. But she’d offered my father comfort. When he hadn’t offered any back after three years of marriage, she divorced him. She was the only woman to ever leave him. Something my father could never fathom.

  One-sided relationships were the worst. I would know. It was the kind my father and I had, unless you counted him paying for all my needs and wants, which I kept to a minimum. It felt wrong to gratuitously take his money. I didn’t want to feel like I was using him like everyone else. Everyone meaning most of his ex-wives and stepchildren. I didn’t want his money. I wanted something much more valuable than money was ever going to compensate for.

  “If she had never had me—”

  “The world would have cried. I would cry.”

  “You wouldn’t have known any different.”

  “Scarlett, you listen to me. I would have known something was missing in my life had you never come to fill my heart. I love you more than anyone.” Her eyes began to water, making mine do the same.

  “I love you, too. You’re my person.”

  “For now.” She winked.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Oh, honey, someday you will have your person, and he will be the luckiest man in the world.”

  “Right.” I reached for my strawberry lemonade. Admittedly, my thoughts flickered to Kane, as ridiculous as it was. I had come to the conclusion that Kane was only a flirt and had too much champagne at the wedding. Or worse, he felt sorry for me, which was why he had been so nice to me.

  “I wish you could see what I see when I look at you.”

  “I know what people see—an introverted, awkward girl who stopped speaking in the first grade because stepmother number two told her her voice was annoying.”

  It was a true story, and I was teased about it for years by my peers. What made it worse was being held back that year despite getting 100 percent on every test and assignment I had turned in. My teacher didn’t feel I was emotionally mature enough for second grade.