by Abigail Agar
Reginald shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
“You ought to know better,” Reginald said.
“Yes, perhaps I ought to. But I like her. I cannot help that fact. I like her a great deal more than I had expected to. And she is entirely too sweet to ignore, Reginald. Of course, if we were in London, I would not have invited her to dinner,” he said.
“And why does that matter? Because in London it would be your reputation and here it is only hers?” Reginald challenged him, his words a harsh truth.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” Eric said.
“But it is true, regardless. Is it not? Here, she may find her reputation on the line. But in London, it would be yours at risk. Therefore, you may invite her to dinner here, but not there?” he asked.
“It isn’t like that,” Eric said again. “You are making me sound terrible.”
But Eric felt very guilty. He really had put her reputation at risk, all because he wanted to get to know her. And although no one here had noticed the two of them, what if they had? Or what if someone did and they just weren’t aware of it? Had he put Miss Sproul at risk?
“I want you to remember that people here are noticing you. Your reputation is at stake because of your father and what he did. People have watched you, stared at you. They know that you are in Finchley,” Reginald reminded him.
“Yes, I know,” he said, forlorn.
“Good, I am glad that you know. Because you are putting yourself in a dreadful position, Eric. Your father fraternised with a woman of a lower class and that has caused you and your family a great deal of trouble. It is a huge risk to you all and to Miss Sproul as well,” Reginald said.
Eric sighed, distraught that he had been foolish enough to put himself and Miss Sproul in this position. Here, in Finchley, they were every bit as much at risk as they would have been in London. Whatever he told himself, whatever he wanted to believe, that was the fact.
“I am not judging you. Please know that. I know that you are a good man, that you would never put Miss Sproul at risk. But I must ensure that you know what you are doing. You and your mother are suffering because of the acts of your father. Not to mention your sister and her mother. So I cannot allow you to put yourself in the way of gossip without saying anything about it,” Reginald reminded him.
“I understand. And I thank you for being a good friend,” Eric said.
“I am glad you understand. I don’t mean anything that will hurt you. I only want you and your sister to become close and I want that to happen in such a way that you are not harmed in the midst of it,” he said.
Eric could not help the grin that formed on his face.
“Yes, I know that you want what is best for my sister…” he said.
Reginald’s face contorted with a frightened innocence.
“What do you mean by that?” he asked.
“Only that I saw the way that you looked at her. My sister must be warned, I should think. If I do not protect her, she might find herself the object of another nobleman’s attention,” he said with a laugh.
“Nobleman? I have no title. I have only money. She does not have to worry about my character,” Reginald teased.
Eric laughed in reply. It was not only titled men who could cause problems for young women, but he knew that Reginald was perfectly harmless. He respected women a great deal and there was no one that he would trust more with a good woman than Reginald.
“Well, you are right in that she does not have to worry. I trust you entirely, Reginald. And if my sister found herself willing to succumb to your charms, I would heartily approve,” Eric said.
“I fear that your sister will succumb to no man’s charms, least of all a friend of her brother’s,” Reginald said, his voice dry and accepting of the fact.
“You don’t know that. She might be softened yet. I think that it is only the pain that she has gone through in her short years that have caused her to hurt this way. You are someone that she could certainly learn to trust,” Eric said.
“I should think so. But I do not believe that she would yet agree,” Reginald said.
“Well, not yet, perhaps. But one day. Don’t you think? You need only to show her your heart and what a good man you are,” Eric said.
“Has that not been your strategy all along? Show her that you are a good man and hope that she will concede? Tell me, has that worked for you?” Reginald asked, the laughter in his eyes tamed by the truth of it.
“Yes, well, it has not worked yet, but maybe one day,” Eric said.
With that, the two men grew quiet, each lost in their own thoughts.
“How is it that we have both become utterly undone by young women who do not trust wealthy men?” Reginald asked.
“Because we are fools who think highly of the women who have not had such easy lives as those we grew up around,” Eric replied with a shrug.
“I suppose that is true, but I still think that we are foolish for falling into this trap,” Reginald said.
“I must agree with you. But I still think that Miss Sproul is worth it. And my sister is more than worth my energies in getting to know her. I suppose you must decide whether or not she is worth your time as well,” Eric said.
Reginald nodded.
“I certainly think that she is. There is something about her spirited independence that I imagine would make a man miserable in marriage, but it is so intriguing and beautiful that I fear I would be sucked in anyway,” Reginald said, laughing at his confession.
“You believe marriage to my sister would be miserable?” Eric asked in his own amusement.
Reginald sighed, growing more serious.
“Unfortunately, I do not. I only tell myself that because I think it is hopeless that she would want to be courted by me,” Reginald confessed.
“Don’t lie to yourself about her. If you think it hopeless, you must accept that. But do not put down ill intentions from her as an excuse. You may have hope yet,” Eric said.
“Yes, I think that I may. And until the day comes that she has shown that she trusts me, I will simply have to cling to that hope,” Reginald replied.
Eric thought about his dinner with Miss Sproul and wondered what she was thinking in that moment. Was she thinking fondly upon their time together? Or was she thinking that he was a stubborn fool who was reckless regarding her reputation?
He couldn’t know for certain, but he wanted to get to know her better. Not only because of her beauty, but because of her kindness and the loyalty that she had shown towards his sister. He wanted to know her heart, to see who she really was underneath it all.
Miss Sproul was a unique woman. She was quiet and that made it harder to get to know her, but she was also braver than one might think at first glance. The confidence and strength that she held were beneath the gentle demeanour that she had displayed.
Somehow, this only made her more interesting to him. It only made her a greater mystery that he desired to unravel.
But if she was unwilling to see him again, or if she had only done this in order to discern whether or not he was a decent man for his sister to know, he might never have the chance. He might never truly get to know her for who she was rather than who she had shown herself to be.
Eric wanted to see her again as quickly as possible, but had to remember that his sister was still his primary priority. She was the most important thing to him and he had to find her first. Whatever came next, Eric would let it follow. For now, he needed to focus on Amelia.
And that would be easily done. She would warm to him in time, Eric was certain of it.
If she did not, everything would have been a waste and all of his dreams of a family would be lost forever.
Chapter 14
Arriving at the shop, Emma tried to decide whether or not she would tell Amelia the truth about the dinner. She knew that it was wrong to keep something from her friend, particularly something that affected her so greatly.
But Emma also knew th
at Amelia would not take it well. She had done all that she could in order to tell the earl to stay away, but she had also known that she wanted to see him. It was not as though she had been forced into the situation. There was something about him that had intrigued her.
Still, as she sat next to Amelia, making her stitches, her heart began to pound.
“Emma, I know that we have spoken of little else in all this time, but I need to discuss something with you,” Amelia said.
“Oh?” Emma asked.
“It is about my brother. It is about the fact that I simply do not know what to do about him. I am completely overwhelmed by the decisions that I am facing,” Amelia said.
“How so? What is it that has you so confused?” Emma asked.
“It is the fact that he appears to be a good man, but how am I to know? And would it not be a betrayal of my mother if I allow him even a bit of my time? I do not want to hurt her and I know that it would hurt her a great deal if I got to know him,” Amelia said.
“But you want to? You wish to know him?” Emma asked, trying to get Amelia to think on those terms.
“I suppose that there is a part of me that does, but I am torn. Utterly torn. In many ways, I am furious at him,” she said.
“Why? Why would you be angry at him for wanting to know you?” Emma asked.
“I do not know why he would try so hard to have a relationship with me, disrespecting what I have told him what I want. He is being terribly rude and ignoring what I have already told him. Why should I trust him when he has already proven himself unable to be considerate enough to actually think about my feelings in this matter?” Amelia asked.
Emma was tempted to share with Amelia the thoughts that the earl had told her. She wanted Amelia to understand that he was determined to prove that he would not abandon her as his father had.
But to share something like that, to tell Amelia what he had said, would give her away in the fact that she had gone out to dinner with the man and put herself at risk like that.
Amelia would be furious at her rather than at her brother.
“Anyway, I just don’t know what to do,” Amelia said.
Emma listened to everything that Amelia was saying. She understood and considered the fact that her friend was right in many ways. There were so many obstacles that they were facing and in truth, her feelings could go either way.
It concerned her to see how Amelia was struggling with all of this. Emma was sad that she had to suffer through these decisions, knowing how her mother would feel about it all.
If Amelia wanted a relationship with her brother, she would have to fight for it. That was exactly something that she was not yet ready to do.
“But…” Amelia began.
“What?” Emma asked.
“But I do feel rather bad about what my mother and I have done, leaking the information regarding his father. I know that he and his mother are suffering as a result of it. I know that they did not have any part in his treachery or the terrible things that he did. But they are still complicit in that they are making us suffer through it again now,” Amelia reasoned.
“Are they? Are they complicit in what he did?” Emma asked, hoping that Amelia would be reasonable.
She sighed and bit her lip, torn by the thought. Amelia ripped at a seam, trying to get the stitches out that she had not been happy with.
“They are not complicit. I know that. I really do. But it doesn’t change the fact that my mother and I have suffered a great deal,” Amelia said.
Emma decided to risk expressing one thought.
“Does your suffering mean that they now deserve to suffer?” she asked.
Amelia bit her lip again, still not looking up at Emma. It was clear that she was trying to think through the logic of it as well. Emma had done well to try and get her thoughts running and to consider if she was making the right decision or not, but Emma didn’t know how much Amelia was really ready to think through this any farther.
“Of course they do not deserve to suffer,” Amelia said.
“Then why would you and your mother continue putting them through this?” she asked.
“Why shouldn’t my mother? I know that I have only faced this simple rejection of a man that I never knew. But what he did to my mother was far greater and far worse than this. He was absolutely horrid to her,” Amelia said.
With that, Emma decided that it was time to share some of her feelings with Amelia. Perhaps she could convince Amelia to go easy on the earl. Maybe she could offer a different perspective.
“You know, it might be wise if you tried to go a little bit easier on him. He is not a bad man and I think that you would be prudent to consider that. Just try to be a little kinder. You may be surprised, you know. You might find that he is actually quite a good gentleman,” Emma said.
Amelia’s eyes took on a very different look. Suspicious, perhaps angry. There was something in them that expressed how little she appreciated the statement from Emma.
“Forgive me, did I say the wrong thing?” Emma asked, trying to still the pounding in her chest.
“Yes, I think you did,” Amelia said with fire in her eyes.
“How so? What have I done that offended you so greatly?” Emma asked.
“You are defending a man who has done nothing but hurt my family. You are asking us to go easy on the earl who stole everything from me. His father made a mistake, yes, but it is the current Earl of Thornbury who has the inheritance that should rightly be mine,” Amelia said.
Taken aback by this statement, Emma was quiet. She had no idea what she could say in reply. It was entirely illogical. What made Amelia believe that she had any right to any inheritance? She was a woman. She was illegitimate, even if she had been accepted by her father.
There was nothing at all about her that would have given her any rights to the late earl’s title and wealth, even if he had been present in her life.
To Emma, it was only further evidence that Amelia was not able to be reasoned with on the matter. She was far too angry about all that had happened and she had no intention of giving any grace. She would not even give grace to Emma, who was simply trying to help the family find peace.
“Amelia, surely you must see that there is a benefit to having a relationship with your brother. What his father did was vile, but you could at least know him and be close to him,” Emma said.
“I don’t want to be close to him!” Amelia shouted with such a passion that it was clear how deeply she wanted to believe that lie.
Emma saw the emotion in Amelia’s eyes. She wanted to know her brother. She craved it.
But Emma was also glad that there was no one in the shop in the midst of their heated discussion. The two of them could be in a great deal of trouble with their employers if they were caught having such a debate, such a deep discussion with so much drama.
“If that is what you want to believe, Amelia, I shall let you believe it. But do not think for a moment that I am going to condone your reasoning. I wish that you would see the difference between the earl and his father. They are two separate men. One abandoned you. The other refuses to do that even upon your insistence,” Emma said.
