Dare to Love a Lord: A Historical Regency Romance Book

by Abigail Agar

“But that is not what you wish,” she said, understanding.

  “I do not want to leave you alone, Mother. But my sister is there and she is the only one who might be able to talk some sense into her mother. And Miss Sproul needs to be defended. Although I cannot be alone with her, perhaps my words will carry some weight,” Eric said.

  “Perhaps…” his mother replied.

  And Eric could see the doubt in her eyes. It reflected the doubt that had crept into his heart.

  Chapter 34

  Emma arrived at Bonham’s with her heart heavy. From the moment that she had heard the rumour about her being pregnant until she reached the shop the following day, she felt utterly broken.

  It was agony to know what society was saying about her. It was horrible to think that people thought all of this about her. Even her father had wept until she explained that it was all a lie. She promised him that it was not possible that she could be pregnant and that he would know in time that she was telling the truth.

  Finally, he trusted her. With her mother at her side, Emma managed to help her father see the truth.

  Still, she was hurt more than angry now. No longer was it just fury that coursed through Emma’s veins, but a horror that anyone would say something like that about her. And now, in the midst of all that had happened, she had to accept that all of England believed this to be the truth.

  Emma’s feet carried her into the shop, and she made her way to the sewing room. Although her eyes were downcast, she sensed Amelia’s presence, saw the hem of her dress as Amelia shifted.

  “Oh, Emma,” Amelia cried, her voice taking on a desperate, apologetic tone.

  Emma did not at once acknowledge her. She continued to stare down at the floor, taking her seat and grabbing the fabric that lay beside her, ready to be made into a gown for the ball in just a few days.

  “Emma, please, you must listen. I begged my mother to stop. I will continue begging her. She denied having made up this terrible lie. She said that it was an exaggeration made up by those who write the scandal sheets,” Amelia said, insisting it all in a rush.

  Still, Emma did not look up and acknowledge her friend.

  “Please, Emma. You must listen to me. I know that you are hurt. I know that you must be terribly angry. But you must hear me. I did not have anything to do with this. Nor did my mother,” Amelia said.

  Finally, Emma looked up at Amelia, her eyes lifeless and without feeling.

  “Amelia, please. You may say whatever you wish. I know that I should not punish you for the mistakes of your parent, else I would be just like your mother. But you have no reason to defend her to me. I will not hear it. Whether she told this lie or not, it is because of her that I have been drawn into this dramatic mess. I want nothing to do with any of it anymore,” Emma said.

  She had never wanted anything to do with it all. She had never wanted to be involved with Amelia’s mother or with their hateful position in society.

  Amelia’s eyes held her remorse. She looked at Emma with a pained expression that Emma could only identify as guilt for the fact that she had been as involved as she was in this whole mess.

  “I am sorry,” she whispered.

  “I know you are. And I forgive you. As for your mother, I would like for her to stay away from me and never again acknowledge me in any capacity. Should I hear that I have been spoken of by her, I shall be as public as I must regarding all that has taken place,” Emma said, the mild threat in her voice serving as a warning.

  “Yes, I know. I understand. Please, I will speak with her once more,” Amelia promised.

  They turned their heads at the sound of the little bell that alerted them that someone had entered the shop. Amelia stood, ready to go and see about serving a customer. But before she could go, Emma recognised the heavy footfalls of Mr. Bonham.

  The gruff, heavyset man entered the room and looked between the two girls, scratching at his grey beard.

  “Miss Lockhart, please give me a moment here with Miss Sproul,” the man said, looking uncomfortable.

  It was a look that Emma was growing used to.

  Amelia gave her a sad expression before exiting the room, leaving Emma with the man.

  “Miss Sproul, I need to speak with you about some things that I’ve been hearing lately,” Mr. Bonham said.

  “Yes, Mr. Bonham, I imagined as much,” she said.

  “Is it true?” he asked.

  The question came as a surprise to Emma. Everyone had just been assuming that the rumour about her pregnancy was true. Mr. Bonham had never been all that kind or gentle with her and she had not expected that he would give her the opportunity to deny the charges against her.

  “No, Mr. Bonham. It is not true. People shall come to realise that in time,” Emma said.

  He scratched at his beard again and looked at her closely, compassionately.

  “I guess they will. But I didn’t come here just to find out from you if it’s true or not,” he said.

  Emma looked at him with pleading eyes. What was he going to do now? Suddenly, she wondered if maybe he really didn’t believe her, despite asking whether or not she had been honest about it all.

  “Maybe we will come to see that it was never true. Or maybe the result will be different,” he began.

  Emma opened her mouth to object, but Mr. Bonham held up a hand to stop her. She did as instructed, closing her mouth again and sliding back, making herself smaller.

  “What I do know is that no one is going to come around here and buy dresses from a shop that hires women with loose morals. I don’t have a whole lot of choices here, Emma. You know that I think you are a good seamstress and I hate to think that I have to do this…but I cannot have you continuing to work here,” Mr. Bonham said.

  Emma’s heart was solid ice. She felt as though the whole room was narrowing and she was hearing the words spoken from afar. As though none of it was really happening right there, to her. As though she had been made vaguely aware that it was being said to someone else.

  Mr. Bonham was firing her. He was telling her that she could no longer work for him, that she wasn’t morally fit for his dress shop.

  “M-Mr. Bonham. Please. It is not what you think,” she said through breathing that caught in her throat.

  “I’m sorry, Miss Sproul. I cannot allow you to continue working here if you are loose with your virtue or have done anything at all to call that into question,” he said.

  “But I haven’t! It was Amel – Miss Lockhart’s mother. She is angry at me. She is angry at a man who has feelings for me, a man who did nothing to her. And I have done nothing at all to her. This is a mistake, Mr. Bonham, I promise you. I have done nothing to compromise my chastity,” Emma said.

  The man rubbed his eyes, as though stressed by this moment.

  Emma was furious that he behaved as though this was so difficult for him. It was nothing to him compared to what it meant for her. She wished that she could scream at him, make him see that what he was doing would ruin her forever.

  If she lost this position, she might never find another. It would convince everyone that the scandal sheets were telling the truth. It would make people believe that she really was guilty of this. And her family would suffer greatly as a result. They would be forced to figure something else out in order to afford to live.

  But the very prospect of new work was dissipating with each and every paper that came out, declaring her a loose woman.

  “I am sorry, Miss Sproul. But it must be done. I wish you well and I hope that you do not have to suffer in this. And whether or not you are expecting a child, I hope that you will at least live according to the morals that you have been raised by,” Mr. Bonham said.

  Emma could not believe the arrogance of his words. Despite the fact that she had been entirely innocent, he had the gall to say something like that to her? He had the audacity to be so cruel? He was willing to make her feel as though she had really done something wrong?

  Mr. Bonham looked at the doo
r, but Emma was still frozen in place. She was still staring at him, her mouth agape. She couldn’t believe this. Any of it. And she had never been so livid, so humiliated, so bitter in all her life.

  “I must ask you to leave now,” he said.

  Emma’s legs shook as she stood. But they carried her to the door of the sewing room and out into the fabrics. Amelia stood, watching her, but Emma did not bother looking in her direction.

  Instead, she continued on, moving forward and trying to be strong. She took each heavy step as though it was going to be the one that carried her to freedom.

  But in reality, they were carrying her to her end of the only hope that she had left.

  Emma made her way out onto the street and saw the many people passing by, going about their daily lives as though hers was not breaking.

  She continued through them, fighting to focus on the fact that she could still have some semblance of hope. She could still find a victory in all of this. Maybe not now, but one day. Certainly in a few months when it became clear that she was not pregnant.

  But what did that mean? Would everyone suddenly think that she was good again? Would their views of her not have been forever tainted? Would they not have been so damaged in their thoughts of her that no one would trust her even when it came to pass that she had been lied about?

  Emma knew society well enough to know that this was how it would be. She would always be questioned. She would always be thought of as damaged.

  She walked through the front door of the tenement and was surprised to see her father there.

  “Emma?” he asked, a grumpy expression on his face.

  “Father, what are you doing home?” she asked.

  “I forgot my smaller saw. I need it for the supports. What are you doing here? You ought to be at work. Now more than ever. With everything that people are saying about you, you need to prove them wrong, prove that you are not what they have said about you,” her father said.

  Emma looked down at her hands and fiddled with her fingers.

  “Mr. Bonham dismissed me, Father,” she confessed quietly.

  “What?” he asked.

  Slightly louder, Emma repeated herself.

  “Mr. Bonham dismissed me,” she said.

  Her father was quiet for a moment, but finally nodded and she could see that he was angry underneath it all.

  “I wish that you had not got yourself into this situation,” he said.

  Once more, Emma’s heart was struck. He was suggesting that she had been partially responsible for it all. He believed that she had contributed to the whole mess.

  “Father…”

  “I know. I know you didn’t do it. But you let this happen around you. And now, I don’t know what your mother and I will do,” he said.

  Guilt crept into Emma’s heart as she thought about the fact that she had cared for the earl. She had allowed herself to notice him. That had been her undoing.

  But it was Liza who had been the source of all of her trouble and Liza would be the end of it.

  She had no choice. She would have to confront the woman once more.

  Chapter 35

  Eric knocked on the door of Liza Lockhart’s home. She had done so many horrible things to him, but now she had gone too far. Now, he was not able to take any more of her terrible deeds. He had to ensure that Miss Sproul found justice.

  The door creaked open to the shocked face of Miss Lockhart. Her eyes looked at him with menace, but she opened the door wider and gestured for him to come into the tenement.

  Eric took a deep breath and moved forward, relieved that she had allowed him inside.

  “I had nothing to do with it,” she said, turning her back to him and making her way towards the small, wooden chair that sat at the matching table.

  “You had everything to do with it,” Eric retorted.

  “I never said that she was pregnant,” Liza rebutted, trying to defend herself.

  “It doesn’t matter. Because of your actions, because of all the many things that you suggested, that was the conclusion to which they came. You allowed them to make up their stories, to destroy the reputation of a young woman who is entirely innocent,” Eric said.

  “She had feelings for you. That takes away all presumption of innocence,” Liza said.

  “And she is your daughter’s closest friend. Does that mean nothing to you? You care not even the least bit for her that you would subject her to all of the cruelties of society like that?” Eric asked.

  “I have only given her the opportunity to run from you before it was too late. That was never my intention, but it is what has happened,” Liza said.

  “Why? Why do you hate me so much that you would ruin her?” Eric asked.

  “Because you have everything that my daughter ought to have been given,” she said, nearly hissing with the words.

  Eric was appalled, but he had been appalled by her from the very beginning of all of this. Liza Lockhart was a cruel, devious woman. She had no remorse and no qualms at all about destroying anyone. There was nothing good in her.

  No. That wasn’t true. That was an easier lie to believe. To think that she was evil through and through would have been a good deal more preferable than to have to admit that she had been a young woman like any other, but one who had been wronged by the selfish deeds of his father.

  Liza Lockhart was wounded, and she was a fool because of it.

  “I wish that it had gone differently, Miss Lockhart. I wish that my sister had been treated justly, that you had been as well. I wish that she and I had known one another from a young age and that we had grown up as brother and sister are meant to. I wish that everything was different,” Eric said.

  “But you can do nothing to change the past,” Liza said.

  “Precisely. And now, here we are. But you can change how the future looks. You can prevent this from getting worse,” Eric said.

  Just as his words left his mouth, the door burst open and Miss Sproul propelled herself into the room.

  Eric stood, shock on his face. He looked to Liza and saw that she was giving Miss Sproul that cool, careless grimace, the one that conveyed disgust and little else.

  “Oh, dear. Now I must deal with the both of you. Perhaps this is a perfect opportunity for me to call for the society pages,” she said, a cold laugh in her words.

  “Mother!” came another voice.

  Eric looked up and saw Amelia coming through the door, breathless and raging.

  “What is it, my dear?” Liza asked, showing a genuine concern for the first time since they had all entered the tenement.

  “Mother, you have to stop all of this. We have spoken about it. You have to make things right. It cannot go on like this any longer. Please, don’t make Emma suffer because of what the late Earl of Thornbury did to you. For that matter, do not make my brother suffer any longer. He was not responsible,” Amelia said, with a great deal of passion.

  Eric looked between the mother and her daughter. Liza was clearly moved, but she was not yet convinced. Her world was still a blur of resentment.

  “I cannot bear the thought of what this is doing to my family,” Miss Sproul interjected, trying to speak up again.