A True Love Forbidden (Married to the Murrays Book 1)

by Charity McColl

  “Please,” she quickly looked at the sleeping woman. “Lady Claire is a very light sleeper,” she whispered. “It’s not proper for you to say such things to me at all. This poor woman is your fiancée, my lord.”

  “She can’t hear us, Dr. Smithson said her hearing has been affected.”

  “Still, I won’t allow you to speak such things to me, not now and not ever.”

  George quickly got up from the chair and in two strides was standing before her. He pulled her close and she struggled with him. “Let me go at once,” she said. “You’re disrespecting me and Lady Claire, unhand me at once, my lord.”

  “Nancy,” he tried to pull her closer for a kiss but she pushed him violently away, breathing heavily.

  “I’m not one of those women that you take advantage of, whether you’re a lord or not. I may be a commoner and a nobody to you, but I’ll never let you use me as if I don’t matter.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to disrespect you in any way. It’s just that my feelings for you are so deep and I don’t want to pretend anymore, but we can never let anyone know how I feel about you.”

  “Precisely what I was saying,” Nancy said through tight lips. “You want to eat your cake and still have it, with no thought as to how all this will affect my life.” She was past the point of caring that George was nobility and she was a mere commoner. Her virtue wasn’t for sale or to be played around with. “You’re engaged to be married to Lady Claire and she should be your priority right now.”

  “Nancy please.”

  “You need to leave now, Lord George, or else I’ll leave this room and never return.” George observed her closed features and knew that he had gone too far. He had let his emotions and passions get the better of him and now he had offended the one person he didn’t ever want to hurt. Nancy had come to mean so much to him.

  “I’m sorry,” he tried to appease her but she refused to say another word and he left with his head bowed.

  Once he was gone, Nancy gasped as if she had been holding her breath all this time. She sat down on the chair he had just vacated and covered her face with both hands. A soft moan escaped from her throat and she felt tears prickling behind her eyes. Never had she felt so degraded than she did at that moment. George Murray had shamelessly tried to take advantage of her and kiss her, irrespective of the fact that his fiancée was lying seriously ill in a bed just a few feet away. What kind of a man behaved in that manner except a philanderer and a rake, someone who only cared about his feelings and no one else’s?

  She needed to get away from Claire Hemmingway’s house and not just to rest for her body was crying out at the mistreatment it had received for almost one week. She also had to leave and never return because sooner rather than later, someone was bound to begin questioning why George was always in Claire’s bedroom. She was his fiancée yes, but the feelings between them were very strong and wouldn’t remain hidden for long.

  8

  Pool Of Tears

  As Nancy walked away from Lord Hemmingway’s home, she knew that she was leaving her heart behind and let the tears course down her cheeks unchecked. George Murray had her heart and she was never going to see him again.

  Early that morning, Lady Claire had opened her eyes for the first time in almost five days and smiled.

  “I feel fine now,” she had said, “Just very thirsty and hungry.”

  Nancy nearly wept with relief to see that her patient had greatly improved, and she hastened to get some light broth for her. Lady Claire took it all down and much to Nancy’s joy, hadn’t brought it up again.

  When Dr. Smithson came in a while later, he was happy to find his patient actually sitting up and after examining her, pronounced her well on the way to a full recovery. Nancy took advantage of Claire’s improved health to request that she be relieved of her position as her personal nurse.

  “Miss Cromwell, even though Lady Claire has showed marked improvement in her health, she’s still a long way from being fully alright and requires your care and attention.”

  “Sir, I’m not asking for no reason, but my mother has also been very ill as you very well know since you attended her at one point, and she needs me. My aunt who has been taking care of her is also ill and there’s no one else. Lady Claire has a number of servants who can take good care of her now that the danger is past. Please, allow me to go and take care of my mother.”

  Dr. Smithson wasn’t pleased to allow her to leave but given the circumstances she had described, he allowed her. “But if your aunt recovers quickly, please return and help with Lady Claire.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Though her mother was glad to see her, she looked at Nancy questioningly. “I thought you told me you were taking care of Lord Hemmingway’s daughter, is she alright now?”

  “Yes mama, when I left her this morning she was sitting up in bed and even Dr. Smithson said she is well on her way to getting better.”

  “Then why do you have such a long face and a woebegone expression to go with it?”

  “Mama,” Nancy knew that her mother could always see through any guise she adopted. “I think I’m just tired because of all those nights I stayed up looking after Lady Claire.”

  Olivia knew that her daughter was hiding something but she didn’t want to pursue it. Ever since Nancy had returned home after being missing for two days and told her that she had been injured and taken to Lord Murray’s house, Olivia sensed a difference about her daughter. Such could only be the result of unrequited love and Olivia felt her daughter’s anguish.

  “Would you like me to make you a cup of tea, mama?”

  Olivia shook her head. “I’d like you to take me outside so I can enjoy the fresh air. Ever since your aunt left, I haven’t had a chance to feel the sunshine on my face.”

  “Alright then, mama,” Nancy felt relieved that her mother didn’t press her for more details. She was barely holding on to her emotions and she knew that something small might set her off and then she wouldn’t be able to control her tears.

  Nancy walked her mother to the back of their small cottage which overlooked an overgrown garden. “My poor peas,” Olivia sighed as she sat down on the long wicker seat. “It’s been a while since I’ve done any work in my garden and my vegetables are all dead now.”

  “Mama, I’m sorry. When I get time I’ll see if I can do a little weeding.”

  Olivia touched her daughter’s arm. “Nancy, you’re a good daughter for taking care of me all this while. I just wish you would be happy, my child.”

  “I’m happy,” Nancy crouched beside her mother “Taking care of you is a joy and I would do it again and again.”

  “No child, some day you’ll have to start taking care of yourself. I will be well and then you can get on with your life.”

  What life, Nancy thought later that evening as she lay on her bed after putting her mother to rest for the night. She was lonely and at her age, many of her peers were already married or just about to be. Yet there wasn’t any man who had as much as showed any interest in her, especially when they found out that she had an ailing mother.

  “Dear Lord, when will my own turn come?” She prayed as tears coursed down the sides of her face. “The pain of loneliness is too much. I need someone that I can lean on, because taking care of mama is a very heavy task which I find I’m unable to do alone. Lord, please help me.”

  9

  Bereavement

  He had said all the prayers he could and spent sleepless nights beside Claire’s bed, but she slipped away one early morning as he lay his head tiredly on the pillow beside hers.

  Until a few days ago, Claire had been doing well and had even managed to get out of bed and made it outside to bask in the sunshine. The just suddenly, she took a turn for the worse. She started coughing up blood and her abdominal pains grew more intense. No amount of laudanum could ease her pain and she kept begging to be allowed to die. George held her hand as she wriggled in pain, praying that she would get b
etter.

  Then just like that, he woke up to find that she had slipped away. He stared at her lifeless body and then walked to the door and called out to one of the servants.

  “Would you get Lord Hemmingway in here please?” He stood at the open door and waited while the servant went to do as bid. In a short moment, the duke came down dressed in his house coat. He suffered from gout and each step he took was painful.

  “What is going on, George.”

  “I spent the night beside Claire and when I woke up …” he couldn’t finish his sentence but led the way into the bedroom and stood beside Claire’s bed, hands folded at his chest.

  He saw the duke’s face crumbling as the older man realised what had happened. He turned as white as a sheet and aged considerably at that moment. Lord Phillip sat on his daughter’s bed and held her hand, tears rolling down his shrunken cheeks.

  “She was my only child,” he said in a choked voice. “The apple of my eye, the only reason that I continue to live,” his shoulders shook. “What am I going to do now that I have no child?”

  “I’m very sorry for your loss, your grace.” George put his hand on Phillip’s shoulder. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “On the day you proposed to Claire, she was so happy that she glowed,” Phillip shook his head. “I had never realised how much my daughter actually loved you, until that day. She sang and danced around the house and right then I vowed that I would pay any amount of dowry just to see my little girl happy.”

  George listened to Lord Hemmingway for almost half an hour as he talked about his daughter and felt deep compassion for him. “You would have been a good husband to my daughter; now you and I are both bereft.”

  “On Thursday the nineteenth day of July in the year of our Lord, died Lady Claire Hemmingway, the only daughter of Lord Philip Hemmingway the Duke of Corrington. A most gentle and noble woman, she leaves behind a grieving fiancé, Lord George Murray, marquis and next in line to the Duchy of Pembington.

  Taken in the flower of her youth, Lady Claire leaves a gap that can never be filled. She lived and died as a most humble Christian, loved by all and will be greatly missed.”

  Nancy wept when she read Lady Claire Hemmingway’s obituary in the papers. She had nursed the woman for a few days and prayed that she would get better and eventually marry Lord George Murray. Even though she loved George, she had been praying that his fiancée would recover from the illness that had beset her.

  “Nancy, you look really upset, what’s going on?” Her mother entered the kitchen and found her wiping her eyes. Olivia was back on her feet and recovering very fast thanks to her daughter’s care. Nancy had begged Dr. Smithson to let her take her leave early and though he wasn’t too pleased about it, had agreed.

  “Two weeks is all I’m giving you to sort your personal troubles, and then you need to return to work or else hand in your resignation,” he had said and she had nodded.

  “Oh mama,” she turned to her. “Remember Lady Claire Hemmingway, the woman I was taking care of a few days ago?” Olivia nodded. “She passed away yesterday morning.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that. I thought you said she had gotten better by the time you left?”

  “She had, I don’t know what happened.” She couldn’t imagine what George was going through and she said a silent prayer that he would be alright. Her mother’s keen eyes missed little and she knew that her daughter’s sadness in the past days had been due to something connected to the dead woman.

  “Does she have siblings?”

  Nancy shook her head. “She was an only child, poor Lord Hemmingway. He must be so devastated at his daughter’s death.”

  “Wasn’t she married?”

  “No mama, but she was engaged to Lord George Murray.”

  Olivia frowned, now beginning to get the whole picture. “Wasn’t that the man you said knocked you down and took you to his house?”

  Nancy nodded, her face flushed. She knew her mother was very shrewd and would soon put two and two together and find out what had been causing her sleepless nights. But all Olivia did was nod and say, “I see.”

  10

  Acceptance At Last

  Outside the cottage, the wind was gathering strength and Nancy got worried. Autumn was announcing her coming with strong winds and rain, and for the past three days it hadn’t stopped raining. She had lit a fire in the grate and was stoking it when she thought she heard someone knocking. She looked at her mother who didn’t seem to have heard the knock and she put it down to her own imagination.

  “Looks like it will rain more today than yesterday,” Olivia said above the howling wind. “Have you secured all the windows?”

  “Yes, mama,” Nancy had to shout to be heard above the din. And then she heard it again, something like a knock. This time her mother heard it too, and looked at her.

  “Were we expecting anyone this evening?”

  Nancy shook her head.

  “Quick, Nancy. Open the door before the person is blown away by the wind.”

  “Yes mama.” She hurried to the door, a smile on her face. The smile died when she saw who their early evening visitor was. “George,” she whispered, putting a hand to her mouth.

  “Nancy, step away and let whoever it is in. The wind is very strong and might blow our fire out.”

  Nancy stepped aside and let George enter. He towered in the doorway and the sitting room was suddenly very small. “Nancy, you’re a very hard woman to find,” he said as he took his heavy trenchcoat off and handed it to her. “You’ve led me a merry chase, young lady.”

  Olivia was observing their visitor with curiosity, especially since her daughter seemed to have been struck dumb. “Please do come in,” she called out and George moved towards the couch on which she was seated. “I’m Olivia Cromwell, Nancy is my daughter.”

  George took his hat off and bowed slightly. “My name is George Murray, I don’t know if Nancy has spoken to you about me.”

  “You’re the kind gentleman who took care of her when she had her accident a few months ago.”

  “It was actually our fault that Nancy was knocked down. My man was speeding me to a meeting, but we are thankful that it wasn’t that serious.”

  “Please do sit down,” Olivia turned to her daughter. “Nancy, don’t just stand there, make our visitor a cup of tea.”

  Nancy was shaken out of her mild shock by her mother’s words and she went to the kitchen, wondering what George was doing here. Why had he come? It was three months since Lady Claire’s death and burial and she had wondered if he thought about her at all, then chided herself for being selfish. The man had lost his fiancée and the last thing on his mind would be another woman.

  When the tea was ready, she arranged the cups and a plate of dainty cakes and carried it through to the sitting room. Her mother had a strange smile on her face and Nancy wondered what the two of them had been talking about in the short time that she was away. George’s face was expressionless as he stood up to help her with the tray. She looked at her mother who smiled encouragingly at her.

  As they took their tea, they made small talk and George eventually opened up about Claire Hemmingway’s death. “We were all so sure that she was getting better because she even got out of her bed and spent some time in the garden. Then just suddenly, she became worse and no amount of medication could lessen her pain,” he looked down and that was when Nancy noticed just how much he had been holding back. “It was terrible watching Claire suffer and at one point her own father actually said he would welcome death because that would mean relief and rest for his daughter.”

  “We’re very sorry for your loss,” Olivia said. “Nancy showed me the obituary, and she was also affected by Lady Claire’s death, seeing as she had taken care of her just a few days before.”

  “Lord Hemmingway is doing poorly and his sister had to come down from Scotland to take care of him. He loved Claire so much and her death just shattered him.”

  “Lo
sing a loved one can never be easy, and for some folk it takes a long time to get over the pain. How are you holding up, your lordship?”

  “There are good days and bad ones too,” George sighed. He couldn’t believe that he had finally found the woman that he had been searching for. “But we have to keep going.”

  Olivia nodded and then motioned to Nancy to help her to her feet. “I need to get some rest because the cold and I don’t agree very well. It was a pleasure meeting you, your grace.”

  “The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Cromwell. Dr. Smithson informed me that you have also been unwell.”

  Olivia laughed softly, “I’m much better, thanks to the wonderful care that my daughter has been giving me. Nancy barely rests.”

  “When she left Lord Hemmingway’s home, Claire kept asking when she would return, but when Dr. Smithson informed us that you were ailing, we had to accept that she was needed elsewhere. But everyone said just how priceless her service to Claire was.”

  Nancy helped her mother to her bedroom and then returned to take the dishes back to the kitchen. She found that George had already arranged them neatly back onto the tray. “If you show me where these should go, I’ll carry the tray for you.”

  Nancy wanted to protest but then shrugged. “This way please.” George put the tray down on the small kitchen counter and then turned and pulled Nancy into his arms. She struggled with him and he had to let go.

  “Why are you behaving as though you don’t want to see me, Nancy?”

  “Why did you come here? How did you find my mother’s house in the first place?”

  “Billy my footman saw you leaving the farmers’ market one day and followed you home. He wasn’t sure whether to tell me that he had found you, because we were in mourning, but then two days ago he decided to reveal your whereabouts to me.”