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The Complete Works of Leo Tolstoy (25+ Works with active table of contents)

Page 76

by Leo Tolstoy


  "Well, now I think it's done," said Dolly, dropping the syrup from the spoon.

  "When it sets as it drops, it's ready. Cook it a little longer, Agafea Mihalovna."

  "The flies!" said Agafea Mihalovna angrily. "It'll be just the same," she added.

  "Ah! how sweet it is! don't frighten it!" Kitty said suddenly, looking at a sparrow that had settled on the step and was pecking at the center of a raspberry.

  "Yes, but you keep a little further from the stove," said her mother.

  "A propos de Varenka," said Kitty, speaking in French, as they had been doing all the while, so that Agafea Mihalovna should not understand them, "you know, mamma, I somehow expect things to be settled today. You know what I mean. How splendid it would be!"

  "But what a famous matchmaker she is!" said Dolly. "How carefully and cleverly she throws them together!..."

  "No; tell me, mamma, what do you think?"

  "Why, what is one to think? He" (HE meant Sergey Ivanovitch) "might at any time have been a match for anyone in Russia; now, of course, he's not quite a young man, still I know ever so many girls would be glad to marry him even now.... She's a very nice girl, but he might..."

  "Oh, no, mamma, do understand why, for him and for her too, nothing better could be imagined. In the first place, she's charming!" said Kitty, crooking one of her fingers.

  "He thinks her very attractive, that's certain," assented Dolly.

  "Then he occupies such a position in society that he has no need to look for either fortune or position in his wife. All he needs is a good, sweet wife--a restful one."

  "Well, with her he would certainly be restful," Dolly assented.

  "Thirdly, that she should love him. And so it is...that is, it would be so splendid!...I look forward to seeing them coming out of the forest--and everything settled. I shall see at once by their eyes. I should be so delighted! What do you think, Dolly?"

  "But don't excite yourself. It's not at all the thing for you to be excited," said her mother.

  "Oh, I'm not excited, mamma. I fancy he will make her an offer today."

  "Ah, that's so strange, how and when a man makes an offer!... There is a sort of barrier, and all at once it's broken down," said Dolly, smiling pensively and recalling her past with Stepan Arkadyevitch.

  "Mamma, how did papa make you an offer?" Kitty asked suddenly.

  "There was nothing out of the way, it was very simple," answered the princess, but her face beamed all over at the recollection.

  "Oh, but how was it? You loved him, anyway, before you were allowed to speak?"

  Kitty felt a peculiar pleasure in being able now to talk to her mother on equal terms about those questions of such paramount interest in a woman's life.

  "Of course I did; he had come to stay with us in the country."

  "But how was it settled between you, mamma?"

  "You imagine, I dare say, that you invented something quite new? It's always just the same: it was settled by the eyes, by smiles..."

  "How nicely you said that, mamma! It's just by the eyes, by smiles that it's done," Dolly assented.

  "But what words did he say?"

  "What did Kostya say to you?"

  "He wrote it in chalk. It was wonderful.... How long ago it seems!" she said.

  And the three women all fell to musing on the same thing. Kitty was the first to break the silence. She remembered all that last winter before her marriage, and her passion for Vronsky.

  "There's one thing ...that old love affair of Varenka's," she said, a natural chain of ideas bringing her to this point. "I should have liked to say something to Sergey Ivanovitch, to prepare him. They're all--all men, I mean," she added, "awfully jealous over our past."

  "Not all," said Dolly. "You judge by your own husband. It makes him miserable even now to remember Vronsky. Eh? that's true, isn't it?"

  "Yes," Kitty answered, a pensive smile in her eyes.

  "But I really don't know," the mother put in in defense of her motherly care of her daughter, "what there was in your past that could worry him? That Vronsky paid you attentions--that happens to every girl."

  "Oh, yes, but we didn't mean that," Kitty said, flushing a little.

  "No, let me speak," her mother went on, "why, you yourself would not let me have a talk to Vronsky. Don't you remember?"

  "Oh, mamma!" said Kitty, with an expression of suffering.

  "There's no keeping you young people in check nowadays.... Your friendship could not have gone beyond what was suitable. I should myself have called upon him to explain himself. But, my darling, it's not right for you to be agitated. Please remember that, and calm yourself."

  "I'm perfectly calm, maman."

  "How happy it was for Kitty that Anna came then," said Dolly, "and how unhappy for her. It turned out quite the opposite," she said, struck by her own ideas. "Then Anna was so happy, and Kitty thought herself unhappy. Now it is just the opposite. I often think of her."

  "A nice person to think about! Horrid, repulsive woman--no heart," said her mother, who could not forget that Kitty had married not Vronsky, but Levin.

  "What do you want to talk of it for?" Kitty said with annoyance. "I never think about it, and I don't want to think of it.... And I don't want to think of it," she said, catching the sound of her husband's well-known step on the steps of the terrace.

  "What's that you don't want to think about?" inquired Levin, coming onto the terrace.

  But no one answered him, and he did not repeat the question.

  "I'm sorry I've broken in on your feminine parliament," he said, looking round on every one discontentedly, and perceiving that they had been talking of something which they would not talk about before him.

  For a second he felt that he was sharing the feeling of Agafea Mihalovna, vexation at their making jam without water, and altogether at the outside Shtcherbatsky element. He smiled, however, and went up to Kitty.

  "Well, how are you?" he asked her, looking at her with the expression with which everyone looked at her now.

  "Oh, very well," said Kitty, smiling, "and how have things gone with you?"

  "The wagons held three times as much as the old carts did. Well, are we going for the children? I've ordered the horses to be put in."

  "What! you want to take Kitty in the wagonette?" her mother said reproachfully.

  "Yes, at a walking pace, princess."

  Levin never called the princess "maman" as men often do call their mothers-in-law, and the princess disliked his not doing so. But though he liked and respected the princess, Levin could not call her so without a sense of profaning his feeling for his dead mother.

  "Come with us, maman," said Kitty.

  "I don't like to see such imprudence."

  "Well, I'll walk then, I'm so well." Kitty got up and went to her husband and took his hand.

  "You may be well, but everything in moderation," said the princess.

  "Well, Agafea Mihalovna, is the jam done?" said Levin, smiling to Agafea Mihalovna, and trying to cheer her up. "Is it all right in the new way?"

  "I suppose it's all right. For our notions it's boiled too long."

  "It'll be all the better, Agafea Mihalovna, it won't mildew, even though our ice has begun to thaw already, so that we've no cool cellar to store it," said Kitty, at once divining her husband's motive, and addressing the old housekeeper with the same feeling; "but your pickle's so good, that mamma says she never tasted any like it," she added, smiling, and putting her kerchief straight.

  Agafea Mihalovna looked angrily at Kitty.

  "You needn't try to console me, mistress. I need only to look at you with him, and I feel happy," she said, and something in the rough familiarity of that with him touched Kitty

  "Come along with us to look for mushrooms, you will show us the nest places." Agafea Mihalovna smiled and shook her head, as though to say: "I should like to be angry with you too, but I can't."

  "Do it, please, by my receipt," said the princess; "put some paper ov
er the jam, and moisten it with a little rum, and without even ice, it will never go mildewy."

  Chapter 3

  Kitty was particularly glad of a chance of being alone with her husband, for she had noticed the shade of mortification that had passed over his face--always so quick to reflect every feeling--at the moment when he had come onto the terrace and asked what they were talking of, and had got no answer.

  When they had set off on foot ahead of the others, and had come out of sight of the house onto the beaten dusty road, marked with rusty wheels and sprinkled with grains of corn, she clung faster to his arm and pressed it closer to her. He had quite forgotten the momentary unpleasant impression, and alone with her he felt, now that the thought of her approaching motherhood was never for a moment absent from his mind, a new and delicious bliss, quite pure from all alloy of sense, in the being near to the woman he loved. There was no need of speech, yet he longed to hear the sound of her voice, which like her eyes had changed since she had been with child. In her voice, as in her eyes, there was that softness and gravity which is found in people continually concentrated on some cherished pursuit.

  "So you're not tired? Lean more on me," said he.

  "No, I'm so glad of a chance of being alone with you, and I must own, though I'm happy with them, I do regret our winter evenings alone."

  "That was good, but this is even better. Both are better," he said, squeezing her hand.

  "Do you know what we were talking about when you came in?"

  "About jam?"

  "Oh, yes, about jam too; but afterwards, about how men make offers."

  "Ah!" said Levin, listening more to the sound of her voice than to the words she was saying, and all the while paying attention to the road, which passed now through the forest, and avoiding places where she might make a false step.

  "And about Sergey Ivanovitch and Varenka. You've noticed?... I'm very anxious for it," she went on. "What do you think about it?" And she peeped into his face.

  "I don't know what to think," Levin answered, smiling. "Sergey seems very strange to me in that way. I told you, you know..."

  "Yes, that he was in love with that girl who died...."

  "That was when I was a child; I know about it from hearsay and tradition. I remember him then. He was wonderfully sweet. But I've watched him since with women; he is friendly, some of them he likes, but one feels that to him they're simply people, not women."

  "Yes, but now with Varenka...I fancy there's something..."

  "Perhaps there is.... But one has to know him.... He's a peculiar, wonderful person. He lives a spiritual life only. He's too pure, too exalted a nature."

  "Why? Would this lower him, then?"

  "No, but he's so used to a spiritual life that he can't reconcile himself with actual fact, and Varenka is after all fact."

  Levin had grown used by now to uttering his thought boldly, without taking the trouble of clothing it in exact language. He knew that his wife, in such moments of loving tenderness as now, would understand what he meant to say from a hint, and she did understand him.

  "Yes, but there's not so much of that actual fact about her as about me. I can see that he would never have cared for me. She is altogether spiritual."

  "Oh, no, he is so fond of you, and I am always so glad when my people like you...."

  "Yes, he's very nice to me; but..."

  "It's not as it was with poor Nikolay...you really cared for each other," Levin finished. "Why not speak of him?" he added. "I sometimes blame myself for not; it ends in one's forgetting. Ah, how terrible and dear he was!... Yes, what were we talking about?" Levin said, after a pause.

  "You think he can't fall in love," said Kitty, translating into her own language.

  "It's not so much that he can't fall in love," Levin said, smiling, "but he has not the weakness necessary.... I've always envied him, and even now, when I'm so happy, I still envy him."

  "You envy him for not being able to fall in love?"

  "I envy him for being better than I," said Levin. "He does not live for himself. His whole life is subordinated to his duty. And that's why he can be calm and contented."

  "And you?" Kitty asked, with an ironical and loving smile.

  She could never have explained the chain of thought that made her smile; but the last link in it was that her husband, in exalting his brother and abasing himself, was not quite sincere. Kitty knew that this insincerity came from his love for his brother, from his sense of shame at being too happy, and above all from his unflagging craving to be better--she loved it in him, and so she smiled.

  "And you? What are you dissatisfied with?" she asked, with the same smile.

  Her disbelief in his self-dissatisfaction delighted him, and unconsciously he tried to draw her into giving utterance to the grounds of her disbelief.

  "I am happy, but dissatisfied with myself..." he said.

  "Why, how can you be dissatisfied with yourself if you are happy?"

  "Well, how shall I say?... In my heart I really care for nothing whatever but that you should not stumble--see? Oh, but really you mustn't skip about like that!" he cried, breaking off to scold her for too agile a movement in stepping over a branch that lay in the path. "But when I think about myself, and compare myself with others, especially with my brother, I feel I'm a poor creature."

  "But in what way?" Kitty pursued with the same smile. "Don't you too work for others? What about your co-operative settlement, and your work on the estate, and your book?..."

  "Oh, but I feel, and particularly just now--it's your fault," he said, pressing her hand--"that all that doesn't count. I do it in a way halfheartedly. If I could care for all that as I care for you!... Instead of that, I do it in these days like a task that is set me."

  "Well, what would you say about papa?" asked Kitty. "Is he a poor creature then, as he does nothing for the public good?"

  "He?--no! But then one must have the simplicity, the straightforwardness, the goodness of your father: and I haven't got that. I do nothing, and I fret about it. It's all your doing. Before there was you--and THIS too," he added with a glance towards her waist that she understood-- "I put all my energies into work; now I can't, and I'm ashamed; I do it just as though it were a task set me, I'm pretending...."

  "Well, but would you like to change this minute with Sergey Ivanovitch?" said Kitty. "Would you like to do this work for the general good, and to love the task set you, as he does, and nothing else?"

  "Of course not," said Levin. "But I'm so happy that I don't understand anything. So you think he'll make her an offer today?" he added after a brief silence.

  "I think so, and I don't think so. Only, I'm awfully anxious for it. Here, wait a minute." she stooped down and picked a wild camomile at the edge of the path. "Come, count: he does propose, he doesn't," she said, giving him the flower.

  "He does, he doesn't," said Levin, tearing off the white petals.

  "No, no!" Kitty, snatching at his hand, stopped him. She had been watching his fingers with interest. "You picked off two."

  "Oh, but see, this little one shan't count to make up," said Levin, tearing off a little half-grown petal. "Here's the wagonette overtaking us."

  "Aren't you tired, Kitty?" called the princess.

  "Not in the least."

  "If you are you can get in, as the horses are quiet and walking."

  But it was not worth while to get in, they were quite near the place, and all walked on together.

  Chapter 4

  Varenka, with her white kerchief on her black hair, surrounded by the children, gaily and good-humoredly looking after them, and at the same time visibly excited at the possibility of receiving a declaration from the man she cared for, was very attractive. Sergey Ivanovitch walked beside her, and never left off admiring her. Looking at her, he recalled all the delightful things he had heard from her lips, all the good he knew about her, and became more and more conscious that the feeling he had for her was something special that he had felt long,
long ago, and only once, in his early youth. The feeling of happiness in being near her continually grew, and at last reached such a point that, as he put a huge, slender-stalked agaric fungus in her basket, he looked straight into her face, and noticing the flush of glad and alarmed excitement that overspread her face, he was confused himself, and smiled to her in silence a smile that said too much.

  "If so," he said to himself, "I ought to think it over and make up my mind, and not give way like a boy to the impulse of a moment."

 

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