What's Life Without the Sprinkles?

by Simon, Misty

  Taking his time, Nate strolled over to Justin and offered him the one thing he probably needed the most. “Ice cream?”

  The kid’s whole face creased into a smile. “Yeah.”

  ****

  Peter slammed a hand into his steering wheel as he tore out of the elementary school parking lot. The Mustang rumbled under him and classic Depeche Mode shot from the speakers, drowning out the voices mocking him in his head.

  He’d failed tonight, there were no two ways about it. He didn’t know the first thing about the strange alien person who carried his blood. While other fathers were whipping out baseball trading cards of their kids and talking about all the activities and sports they participated in, he was hard pressed to remember what Justin’s middle name was. He had no idea if Justin played sports at all. He couldn’t even come up with whether he liked chicken or beef at dinner.

  The whole night had been a disaster, beginning with the moment he’d picked the boy up and seen how stunning Claudia looked in a pair of sweats with thick, brightly striped socks on her feet.

  He didn’t know what the hell he was doing here, or why he had come back, other than to help his father. He wasn’t being much help there, either. He and Roger had never really gotten along. His father liked to brag about the business Peter did and the deals he made, but they never talked like May and Roger talked.

  This visit was no exception. Normally, his family came to him. May had tried for a while, once she came back home, to get him to take an interest in Justin. She’d sent kindergarten pictures and drawings the boy had done. But Peter had had no interest. He had more deals to put together, his own life to lead. When he’d left Claudia three months pregnant and pursued his dreams, he’d never meant to come back.

  And he’d been right to do so. There was nothing here for him. He should just go home now.

  He went back to May’s, told her his decision, listened to her bitch about it, and then went to bed to get some sleep before his start out of town the next morning. He’d made his decision, and he would not be swayed.

  He only had one more thing to do on his way out of town.

  ****

  Claudia’s cell phone rang in her Decadence apron pocket a half hour before a bride was scheduled to come in for a cake taste-test. She did not have time for this, but she had been expecting a call from the principal at Justin’s school to discuss thoughts on how to get him to stop asking the other children to call him Bastard Justin. Normally the principal didn’t make calls outside of school hours, but Claudia had made the man and his wife their anniversary cake six months ago, and he now professed to be in love with her, or at least with her baking skills. Maybe she could use some of her baking points to get the principal to go easy on Justin about the language and the punishment for it.

  She answered, though she did not recognize the number, and then she wanted to hang up immediately. She did not have the time or the inclination to deal with Peter today, of all days. She and Nate were finally going to test a little cake and icing of their own tonight, with Justin at her mom’s and Zoe out of town for the evening. He would not ruin that for her.

  “What can I do for you?” she asked after he had said hello but then nothing else. The silence hung in the space between them uncomfortably as she braced herself for nearly anything.

  He cleared his throat, and her stomach heaved a little. Clearing his throat had always meant he was about to tell her something she would not like.

  “I was going to stop by to see you.”

  “I’m really busy today, Peter.” May had told her how he had been asking questions, trying to get to know her and Justin through his sister, but May had turned him down and told him to do it himself if it was important to him. So far that had not happened, so it must not have been important. Fine with her.

  “I said I was going to stop by, but I decided against it. I am actually at a rest stop about an hour away, on my way home.” He rushed on before she could say anything. “After that dinner with Justin, I realized that I’m not needed here. I’m not even welcome here. I should have stayed away altogether.”

  Part of her wanted to feel bad for him, but in all honesty he had made the decisions that had led to this moment, and she wasn’t to blame. Still, she couldn’t let him think he wasn’t welcome at his sister’s home, no matter how it had thrown her into a tailspin to have him in the same town again. “I’m sure you’re welcome if you choose to come back sometime. May loves having you here.”

  He chuckled, but it was a sad sound. “I know you’re not that obtuse. I’m fully aware that May loves having me here. My dad and I, however, get along better when we’re not in the same state, and you and I are never going to go back to what we were.”

  “No, Peter, we’re not.”

  “I really thought, on the way here over a week ago, that I would be able to come back and claim what should have been mine all along, what I walked away from. I was dumb to think it would be that easy.”

  “Not dumb, just maybe arrogant or naïve.”

  “Thanks. I think.”

  Now she chuckled, but it was just as sad. “You gave me something really precious all those years ago, and there will always be a little part of you with me in Justin. In the way his eyes look just like yours and the way he throws himself into things.”

  “But he doesn’t need me, and neither do you.”

  It was a stark and frank insight from Peter, who had rarely looked outside himself and what he wanted. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You made a life for yourself and for Justin in a way that I never could have. He knows he’s loved, and even if it’s not blood, he has a father.”

  “Peter…”

  “No, Claude, I saw the way he ran to Nate. The man was all Justin could talk about at that dinner. How he plays baseball with him and they have mock fights and trounce each other on video games. He takes him to pizza and tells him to treat you right. He gives it to him straight and expects him to be his best person while he’s showing him how, Justin said. He looks up to Nate and wants to be like him someday. What else is a father, if not a role model who loves you for you but wants you to be your best, better than the father is?”

  “I…” Claudia had never heard him talk like this.

  “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, because I didn’t want you to think I was leaving like I did last time.”

  Last time, when he had left without a word, begging his father to let her know he had gone to move into his dorm room early, to get ready for his fall classes.

  “And I’m not going to be back for a while. May’s pissed, but she’ll have to get over it. I’m sure she’ll send me pictures galore of the baby when it’s born, and it will be good enough for me if not for her. It’s all I can offer.” He took a breath. “Speaking of pictures, if you want to send one or two of Justin over the years, I wouldn’t mind. One of those baseball trading cards everyone was talking about. And maybe some of the things he’s drawing, too. He drew me a cartoon on a napkin at the dinner, and it was pretty good. If he ever wants to pursue something like that, give me a holler and I’ll be happy to shell out some money to help him get into a good college.”

  She was going to get a word into this conversation if she had to yell it. “Peter, I appreciate the offer, and I will send you some pictures, but you don’t have to cut yourself off completely just because things didn’t fall into place the first time you tried. Justin could possibly warm up to you if you spent more time with him, and May is going to be far more than pissed if you don’t come see her baby before she can travel.” What was she saying? She could be free of him indefinitely, and here she was inviting him to come back in a matter of months.

  “You always did have a bigger heart than me, Claudia. I’ll see, when the time comes. But for now, I think you ought to run down Nate and officially make him a dad to that boy. He’s done all the work and been by your side for years. He had a thing for you when we were together, and he threatened to beat the shit o
ut of me if I ever hurt you. And then he did when I left for college. He came and gave me a shiner I didn’t get rid of for days. He loves you in a way I never would have been good at. Patiently, quietly, wholly.”

  More insight, and this was much weightier. Nate loved her, in Peter’s eyes? Nate had punched Peter? She’d have to wrap her head around that later.

  “I’m going to go now,” he said, cutting into her reeling thoughts. “I have to get back home and you have to get on with your life. Thanks for raising a great kid, Claude. You did it right all by yourself, and though it probably means nothing, I’m proud of you.” He hung up, leaving her to sputter. But she couldn’t sputter long, because she had that cake test-tasting in less than five minutes.

  Still, she found May and asked her to greet the bride when she came in and let her know Claudia would be out in just a moment. Claudia needed a moment to breathe and think through what had just happened before she put her happy face on and handed out sweets.

  Back in the small office with its more comfortable new chairs, she sat and hung her head down near her knees. Talking with Peter had been shades of the man she had fallen in love with when they were teenagers. The one who would talk with her for hours while holding her hand and staring at the stars. To say he broke her heart when he left was a lie, since he had broken it two months prior when he offered to pay for her abortion because he wasn’t ready to be a father. He couldn’t see how he could go to college and get a degree when he’d have diapers to change and a squalling kid to deal with. He’d changed in that moment into someone she was better off without. She knew now it had probably just been his panic talking, but it really had turned out better for all of them that he had been able to walk away.

  She cried, because she could, for the first time in a long time. She felt free from the past, in the present, and for the future.

  Chapter Eleven

  After wiping her eyes and doing her best to repair herself, Claudia walked out to the front of Decadence, zeroing in on Nate, right outside the front window, adjusting that tool belt that made her mouth water and her legs quiver. He raised a hand and smiled at her just as the front door opened and the bride came in with her mother in tow.

  The timing could be better, but Claudia’s first duty was to her work right now. Nate—and fantasies about him—would just have to wait a little while longer. She had cake tasting of her own to look forward to, and the freedom to truly enjoy it without the threat of Peter hanging over her head any longer. She hadn’t realized how much his presence in town had weighed on her and how much she had feared he would want visitation rights. The thought of sharing her son with his father when she’d never had to do that before had ridden her like a nightmare. But now it was gone.

  “Good afternoon, ladies,” Claudia said as she took a hand of each. “It’s so good to see you again.” This was another bride who had been here with all of her female relatives a few short weeks ago. She had been in for flowers since then, but the cake decision had been put off for a while longer. With the wedding only weeks away, Claudia should have been frantically calling her to reschedule, but honestly, with all the turmoil recently she had forgotten until an e-mail from the bride came in this morning, requesting the meeting.

  “I just love this place,” Penny Plinks said, twirling round in a circle for a second. She was at least forty even if she was acting like one of those teenage girls the ten-year-old Claudia had followed around looking for tidbits about boys all those years ago.

  “We’re glad you do, Penny,” Claudia said. “We’ve really enjoyed working with you for this special event. You’re going to be stunning in your dress.” Claudia’s smile was genuine, but it widened when she caught Nate waving at her from the front window. She discreetly flicked her fingers at him behind her back and then returned her attention to the people in front of her.

  Leading them over to a small café table, Claudia seated both ladies on tall, cushy chairs, then brought out seven plates, each with a different cake she had made this morning.

  “I shouldn’t eat too much.” The bride, Penny, eyed the cake plates like a cat after the canary.

  “Oh, these samples are calorie-free,” Claudia said, smiling at the nervous woman. “May and I have an agreement that any cake tasted in here doesn’t go anywhere near hips or butts. It’s forbidden.”

  Picking up the fork, Penny hovered the utensil over each individual plate while licking her lips. “Before I try it, I have a question.”

  “Hopefully I have an answer.” Claudia smiled at the mom and then the bride, while inside she braced herself for a request for a cake shaped like a particular continent or an outline of the bride and groom. Both had happened in the past and were more of a challenge than an inconvenience.

  “Do you have anything with sprinkles?”

  Claudia had heard stranger questions but couldn’t name any at the moment. “I could add sprinkles, if you want. May I ask why?”

  “Oh, Penny, I thought we had discussed this. A proper wedding cake does not have sprinkles, my dear.” Betty Plinks patted Penny’s hand and turned to Claudia. “She has this thing about sprinkles. It’s lovely but silly.”

  “I’d be interested in hearing it.” Claudia smiled. “We like to know our clients and what’s important to them for their special day.”

  “Thank you, Claudia. You came very highly recommended by a friend. And that’s one of the reasons I insisted we come to you. Your attention to detail.” She turned to Betty. “And it’s not silly, Mother, it’s true.” Penny, her brown hair shining and her lightly lined face glowing, faced Claudia, her hands clasped at her chest. “I want sprinkles because they symbolize the way I feel about my Matt. I was a plain cake kind of girl for so many years, and then he walked in the door at my parents’ hardware store and introduced me to sprinkles.”

  Her brown eyes had gone dreamy, and Claudia waited for the gushing to start about how strong he was and the broad shoulders that made her melt, or the fact her biological clock was winding down and he had come just in time. But Penny surprised her. “He took me from plain cake straight past the icing and on to the sprinkles. He makes me smile and laugh and puts that little extra something in my life I’d thought I could live without.”

  “That’s lovely,” Claudia said, thinking she had been that kind of woman one day a long, long time ago. She’d never thought of the special moments with someone as sprinkles, but at some point she’d started settling for stale cookies. Now she wanted cake with Nate. Just cake by itself was good. After all, not everyone could stand the sprinkles, and some people even scraped the icing off the cake before eating it. Both could be too much to handle.

  Penny tittered nervously after her mini-trip down lovers’ lane, and Betty just smiled. “We’re so excited you could fit us in.” She took a forkful of the marble cake and nibbled at it.

  “It’s my pleasure, Mrs. Plinks. I wouldn’t miss working for this wedding for the world. We appreciate you coming in.”

  Betty waved an obscenely jeweled hand. “Pshaw! We wouldn’t even think of going anywhere else.”

  Thank God, Claudia couldn’t help but think. They’d been working hard for years to build their reputation. And the boost to her personal confidence was very welcome, especially after the debacles of the last couple of weeks.

  The conversation moved away from sprinkles and on to the plates of cake. Claudia detailed the types and the icings that would best complement, but through it all she couldn’t stop thinking about Nate. Was he sprinkles? Was he more than just cake? Was she cheating herself by thinking she would be happy with only cake? As much as she didn’t want stale cookies, perhaps she was looking for more. He did all the things Penny seemed to think were sprinkles. His attention to Justin, to her, the way he made her feel tingly with just a glance, the care he took with her and her son. The way he had always been around and never made it seem as if they were infringing on his time. Maybe all along she had already had her cake sitting on the plate in front of her
without taking a nibble until Nate had rocked her carefully managed world with his kiss.

  After four more samples, Betty gripped Claudia’s hands like a vise and, despite the pain, Claudia kept a smile on her face. The sheen of tears in Claudia’s eyes probably passed for happiness, but her only concern was a brief foray into the little she knew about blood and how long it would continue circling in her hands before they started to tingle from the woman’s death grip. They chose the Double Deluxe Chocolate Fantasy with Butter Cream Icing, just as Claudia had known they would.

  “Thank you, thank you,” the matronly Betty said, sniffing into her lace handkerchief. “You don’t understand how much this means to us.”

  Claudia could just imagine. The bride-to-be was forty if she was a day and had confided in Claudia that this was her first wedding. May had taken special pains to create a dress that would flatter the plump woman and make her feel fifteen—well, maybe five—years younger. Claudia had made it a point to get as much information as she could regarding her likes and dislikes. This would probably be the only wedding for the younger Ms. Plinks, and Claudia, May, and Zoe wanted to make sure it was really special. “It was my pleasure, Mrs. Plinks. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of Penny’s wedding.”

  Claudia stretched her face into a full-fledged smile regardless of the continuing pain in her hands. She was going to have to deal with those damn prickly tingles once the woman let go, and she wasn’t looking forward to it.

  The second they walked out the front door, Claudia vigorously rubbed her hands together to get the needle-like sensation to fade. She watched Nate walk up to Penny and hug her, and she was reminded that he had been the friend who recommended that Penny come to see her and Decadence if she really wanted to have all her dreams for her perfect wedding happen. Penny wiped something from her eye as she stood back and held onto Nate’s arms. She said something, and they both turned to where Claudia stood in the window shamelessly taking the scene in. Penny waved, gave Nate another hug, and left.