The Unforgettable Kind

by Melanie Munton

  “Okay,” he finally said. “From now on, we’re just friends. I want you in my life, too. And if this is the only way it can be, I’ll accept that. What just happened will never happen again, I promise.”

  I should have been happy with his decision. It should have felt like the pieces of my life were fitting back together, my world righting itself after our almost-kiss.

  But disappointment wriggled in the back of my mind with the knowledge that we would never get close like that again. That there would always be a certain amount of distance between us.

  I was disgusted with myself. So, I locked those thoughts up and threw away the key.

  My smile was the only fake one I’d ever given him.

  “Friends?”

  His own was tight and just as forced.

  “Friends.”

  Letting him kiss me would have been wrong. Obviously.

  So, why didn’t everything we just agreed to feel…right?

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I Wanna Know What Love Is”

  by Foreigner

  Sam

  I entered my house later that night with my heart in my throat. Slumping against the front door, I tried to block out everything that had just happened.

  Technically, all we did was sort of hold hands. And almost kiss.

  But an almost-kiss didn’t qualify as an actual kiss. Right?

  Still, I feared that almost-kiss with Kade had touched me deeper than an actual kiss from Trent ever could. And that was bad.

  The thing was, I didn’t want to obliterate that moment with Kade from my memory, even though I knew I should. I didn’t want to forget seeing the heat in his eyes when he looked at me, or the strength of his body next to mine, or how safe I had felt with him. But his prophetic words kept running on a loop in my mind.

  I had to remember what I should do, not what I wanted to do.

  I went to the kitchen to grab a water before going up to bed and found Mom working at the kitchen table. “Hey. Isn’t it a little late to be working?”

  She glanced down at her watch. “Isn’t it a little late for you to be getting home?”

  I smiled sheepishly and sat down at the table across from her. “Yeah, sorry. Had to give Trent a ride home.”

  “How is your car doing? Any more problems?”

  “Fine. No more weird noises or crapping out in the middle of nowhere.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “And your cell battery?”

  I winced and pulled it out of my pocket.

  “It’s on four percent,” I muttered under my breath.

  “What have I told you about keeping your phone charged?”

  “You do realize you just sounded exactly like Grandma, right? The only thing missing from that sentence was young lady.”

  She scowled. “I do not sound like my mother.”

  I choked back my laugh, knowing she hated it when I compared the two of them. “Mom, you are your mother. Just accept it.”

  “Then prepare yourself, young lady, because pattern dictates that you’ll end up like me.”

  “I suppose there are worse things in life.” We both chuckled.

  I tipped my chin down at the laptop in front of her. “Working on the schedule?”

  She blew out a haughty breath and ripped her reading glasses off her face. Rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger she said, “Yes. Bill always says we’ll take turns doing it, but does he ever take his turn? Nooo.”

  Mom was a radiology technician at the hospital in Valley View, one town over from Mason. Shortly after Dad left and things went batshit crazy, she was promoted to a lead tech position, which came with higher pay and longer hours. She came home every day stressed out of her mind, but I think the demanding job was actually good for her. At least to an extent. It allowed her to focus on something other than the stain of emotional turmoil that her failed marriage had left on her heart.

  If I was being completely honest, though, I missed the nights when she’d come home and not be so tired that she couldn’t sit down and watch a chick flick with me. With Drake gone and her constantly working, the house was pretty empty these days, making me feel pretty lonely.

  “It’s getting to the point where I’m really going to tell him off,” she grumbled.

  “In other words, you’re going to wait until your head explodes and unload on him in a complete rage.”

  “Zip it.”

  She was the queen of holding in her emotions. I was glad I didn’t take after her in that respect, though I probably could work on restraining myself a little more. If she’d ever really lost it on my dad after finding out about the affair, I never saw it. If that had been me, I probably would have called him every name in the book, along with Janine. She’d not only been the “other woman,” she’d been Mom’s best friend, too.

  I peeled at the label on my water bottle. “Can I ask you something?”

  Her eyes darted to mine. “Is this something I’m going to need a glass of wine for? Or a lobotomy?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  She closed the laptop. “Shoot.”

  I pursed my lips, considering my words. “Why do you think he did it? I mean, I always thought you two were happy.”

  Her eyes softened, though I wasn’t sure if it was in sympathy for me or because of her own pain. She never brought up what happened, but I think she could tell that part of me needed to understand it. Or try to.

  “I thought we were, too,” she said. “I think he was happy the majority of the time. Something just came along that made him happier.”

  My eyes filled with tears, my heart breaking. I may have lost my father, but she lost the person she’d planned to spend the rest of her life with. Her partner. I couldn’t imagine what it was like to know that you couldn’t make the love of your life happy enough to stay with you. Not to mention Janine. The person she’d confided in for everything. I briefly tried to consider what it would feel like if Jasmine did something like that to me, and I felt sick. And that was without the factors of marriage and children thrown into the mix.

  “Did you ever suspect something was going on?”

  She blew out a heavy breath. “I never wanted to believe it. All I kept telling myself was to have faith in my husband. Because if I was wrong, I’d feel guilty for not trusting him. I never knew anything for sure until the end.”

  Here was the critical question for me. “In all the years you were married, did you ever experience that kind of temptation?”

  She got kind of a far-off look in her eyes right then, as if recalling some long-forgotten memory. “Once.”

  I was shocked to hear her admit it. “What did you do about it?”

  Her gaze came back to me. “I removed the temptation from my life. If it’s not there every day, if you don’t have to look at it, talk to it, then you’ll eventually forget about it. Your father never did that. And if the temptation is strong enough, one day you’ll break. That’s the point you can never come back from.”

  I thought about her words for the rest of the night and into the early hours of the morning.

  The answer was clear: Kade was a temptation.

  The conclusion was far more complicated: I had to remove him from my life.

  I wasn’t sure that was possible. Especially not after our whole friendship talk earlier. He’d become too important in my life to completely cut him out of it. Maybe we just had to limit the times we were alone together. Nothing could happen if we weren’t alone. And if I didn’t have frequent contact with him, I’d forget all about the way I was feeling. Right?

  Don’t count on it.

  No matter what, though, I knew one thing for sure.

  I wouldn’t break.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Goodbye to Romance”

  by Ozzy Osbourne

  Sam

  “This is a complete waste of my time.” Trent slammed his history textbook shut and fell back against the couch cushions. “I’m not goin
g to need all of these dumb history classes when I take over plant operations from my dad.”

  “Maybe not, but it doesn’t hurt.”

  I bit down on my pencil eraser as I looked over my notes. Five minutes later, I closed my own book and scooted closer to him. A couple more finals to get through and—hallelujah, Jesus!—summer vacation would officially begin.

  “Well, it’s not like you’re going to need history, either. Not if you’re going to be an elementary teacher,” he said, playing with the strands of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail.

  I picked at the fabric of the blanket beside me, feeling guilty for the lie I’d been feeding him about becoming a teacher. I hadn’t had the courage to tell anyone what I really wanted to become because I didn’t think they’d understand.

  Until recently.

  I still didn’t know what had compelled me to tell Kade all about my far-fetched dreams. But he hadn’t thought they were so far-fetched.

  “That sounds awesome, Sam,” he’d said.

  “Really? You don’t think it’s stupid?”

  He’d rolled his eyes, like he always did when he thought I was being ridiculous. “You’re one of the smartest, most determined people I know. You’re also way too stubborn to not get what you want out of life. I have no doubt you’ll achieve everything you set out to.”

  Those words meant far more to me than he could possibly know. They gave me the confidence to tell others about my dream job. Maybe I was just being pessimistic, thinking they’d react poorly. Maybe I wasn’t giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.

  Or maybe it wasn’t that I assumed everyone else wouldn’t understand what I wanted. Maybe it was just Trent I was worried about.

  I had to find out.

  “Actually, I don’t know if I want to be a teacher anymore.”

  Trent removed his hand from my hair and rested it on my shoulder, his touch turning tentative. “Okay. What do you want to do instead?”

  I bit my lip, fidgeting with my hands. Just say it. “I kind of want to work for a TV station, but in sports. Like on ESPN. You know, the people who always analyze the games and break down the stats and stuff? I want to do that. But just for football.”

  He laughed.

  My boyfriend, the one person other than my mom and brother who should support and encourage me no matter what, actually laughed at my dream.

  I stared at him, speechless at his reaction.

  His laughter faded when he saw my expression. “Wait, you’re serious?”

  I said nothing.

  “Sam, you’re a girl.”

  I remained silent, my disbelief growing.

  “Babe, that’s not something that girls do. You know the game, I’ll give you that, but you can’t make a career out of memorizing football trivia.”

  That rankled my nerves.

  I didn’t just know facts. I understood the game, dammit.

  “Besides,” he went on, “that’s not something you can do here in Mason. You’d have to go to a bigger city for that, and I thought we were staying here together.”

  I’d never once said that I wanted to stay in Mason. He’d just always assumed, and admittedly, I’d never corrected him. He knew I was going to go off to college somewhere, preferably Florida, but he’d always planned on me coming back to Mason and… And I didn’t really know what after that.

  We’d never said the word “marriage” to each other, but that’s clearly what he had in mind. In all honesty, though, I couldn’t picture myself marrying Trent and having kids with him. I hadn’t planned on breaking up with him anytime soon, but whenever I pictured my future, I just couldn’t see him in it.

  Maybe it would just take time.

  Trent wasn’t going anywhere. I had plenty of time to think about our future together. But his reaction was sure making me contemplate the hell out of that future.

  I shrugged, ready to change the subject. I was done listening to him pass judgment on me.

  “It was just an idea. I’ll probably change my mind a million more times before I get my degree, right?”

  “Hey.” He tipped my chin up with his finger. “You know I love you. Right, babe?”

  I forced a smile, the words sounding dull to my ears. “Love you, too.”

  And I did love him.

  But I was beginning to think that what I felt for him was borne out of a childhood friendship, not romantic infatuation. It was the first time I’d ever considered the differences between loving someone and being in love with someone. Not like I had a lot of experience with love, but the feelings I got every time I was around Kade? Those had nothing to do with childhood friendship.

  We’d maintained our boundaries ever since our almost-kiss. I mean, my heart still quickened whenever I saw him, but I ignored it. Mostly. And yes, I held far more affection for him than for any of my other guy friends, but that was just because we had so much in common.

  In fact, we may have been too similar.

  The more I thought about it, the less sure I was that Kade and I would ever work well as a couple. Our personalities would probably clash too much. Imagining the two of us in a relationship almost felt like I was trying to force a puzzle piece into a space that it didn’t belong. Like that whole square peg in a round hole thing.

  Maybe we were destined to remain friends.

  Which was totally fine because I had a boyfriend.

  A boyfriend who laughs at your dreams.

  Trent’s mouth morphed into a smile as it descended onto mine. I could taste the sugary sweetness of the soda he’d been drinking as our tongues swiped against each other. As pleasant as his kisses were, because he was a good kisser, they didn’t stir me like they used to. The more we made out these days, the less exciting the experience became for me. It was starting to almost feel…obligatory.

  He nudged me back until I was lying down. Easing himself on top of me, he spread my legs with his knees as he took the kiss deeper. One of his hands slid underneath my shirt and covered my breast while the other skated over my jeans until his fingers reached my inner thigh.

  I desperately tried to feel something. Reaching down deep inside me, I searched for the anticipation I felt when he first touched me years ago. I needed a release so badly. But the way he was frantically rubbing against my center like he was trying to start a fire without matches just wasn’t working for me.

  I pushed him away, tearing my mouth from his. “Not now, Trent. I’m not really in the mood.”

  He sighed, rising up onto his hands. “I’m not trying to pressure you, babe, but you’re never in the mood anymore.”

  Not since two years ago, was what he meant. When he’d taken my virginity on this very couch in his parents’ basement, three weeks after my dad left us.

  “What’s going on with you lately?”

  I sat up, righting my clothing. “Nothing. I’m just not ready to go there again.”

  “But we’ve already been there,” he said slowly, almost gently. “I mean, the painful part is out of the way, right? Now it can just be fun.”

  He made it sound like it was no big deal. And maybe it wasn’t. Maybe I was making too much of the situation. I was no longer a virgin, so what did I have to lose by having sex with him again? Even though that first time hadn’t been very much fun at all. Surely, it got better the more times you did it?

  Except it just didn’t feel right.

  I’d be faking it, and then I’d hate myself afterwards.

  “Just give me some more time, okay?”

  He stared over my shoulder, his body noticeably tensing. “Does this have anything to do with Jennings?”

  The question sounded more like an accusation, and my heart skipped a beat.

  “What? Why would you say that?”

  His eyes turned a darker shade of blue. “I know you’ve always had your guy friends. I’ve never had an issue with that, even though a lot of other guys would. But something about the way he acts around you is off.”

  “What
do you mean by ‘off’?”

  He slowly shook his head. “I can’t really explain it. Whenever you’re around, he just acts like nobody else exists. He doesn’t pay attention to most people when they talk, but he hangs onto every word you say. Has he ever come on to you when I haven’t been around?”

  Yes.

  “No, of course not. He knows we’re dating. He wouldn’t do something like that. We’re just friends. You don’t have to worry.”

  I rubbed his back, leaning into him for a comforting hug. “I should get home.”

  “Okay.” He stood up and gave me a quick, hard kiss. “Call me later?”

  I nodded, smiling. “Yeah.”

  I climbed up the basement stairs and headed for the back door off the kitchen when his mom’s voice rang out from the living room.

  “Oh, Samantha, wait!”

  I stopped and turned to find her rushing toward me, her pretty face breaking into a wide smile. “Hey, Mrs. Canton.”

  “I wanted to give you this to take to your mom before you left.” She swiped a piece of paper off the counter and passed it over. “She asked for my green bean casserole recipe weeks ago, but I’ve been forgetting.”

  I folded it and shoved it in my back pocket. “Chances are she still won’t make it as good as you, but I’ll give it to her.”

  She chuckled and pulled me in for a hug. Like always, she smelled of lavender. As if she’d just stepped out of a meadow.

  My parents had been friends with the Cantons long before Drake was even born. They were one of the few couples who hadn’t distanced themselves from my family after the scandal broke. Though they’d been hurt by my father’s disgraceful actions, they’d proved themselves to be true friends to my mother over the years. More than anything, I think that friendship was what had brought Trent and I closer together.

  I should have been thinking about my last two finals on my way home and how much studying I needed to get through before Friday. I should have been planning what meal I was going to cook for my mom this weekend—I tried to handle at least one dinner a week.

  I should not have been daydreaming about the day Kade rescued me from this very highway after my car broke down. Shouldn’t have been recalling how he’d laughed at my jokes or the way he’d licked ice cream off his lips.