Love Me Last

by Parker, Weston

  We were going to have to have a talk, the two of us. I needed to apologize for not explaining things better. And for the fact that he was going to have to meet my mother come Friday night, come hell or high water.

  But for now, I smiled at Mom. “If you don’t believe me, just see for yourself,” I told her. “Friday night. He’ll be there.”

  “All right,” Mom said, and for the first time ever, I saw her smile there in the hospital.

  Chapter 29

  Hayden

  Ace scooped more mashed potatoes onto Booker’s plate as he glanced over at me. “So, if you weren’t at work today, does that mean your job for the winery is officially done?” he finally asked.

  I’d been expecting the question all night since I first called him and told him I’d be able to pick Booker up after school that day. He had asked if we wanted to come over for dinner, citing that he had already bought enough food for at least two. And reminding me that it had been a while since he and I had hung out since I’d been so busy working lately. I’d been happy to accept. I wasn’t sure I still had food in the house anyway.

  “I’m not quite done, but things are wrapping up,” I told Ace. “I figured out what was happening and who did it, anyway. There’s a bit more that needs doing just to get the books all back in order, but it should be done soon enough.”

  “And then what, another two months of unemployment?” Ace joked.

  I snorted and shrugged. “Don’t know,” I said because honestly, I never did. I didn’t need to start worrying about it yet, that was for sure. “Anyway, I think I’ll be back at the winery again tomorrow, but today there was no point in going since Mallory wasn’t there. I need to talk to her and Charlie about what comes next.”

  That was what she had said, after all. Personally, I’d been sure that there was more work I could do. She didn’t need to be there for me to fix the books up, after all. But if she didn’t want me there, she didn’t want me there. And it was nice to take the unexpected day off and get a few things done anyway.

  I wanted to call her just to check in, but with the way we had left things the night before, I wasn’t sure if she really wanted to hear from me. She probably had enough on her plate right now anyway, without me bothering her. I just hoped that everything was okay. But she would let me know if she needed anything. I trusted that, at least.

  “Where was Mallory?” Ace asked, curiously.

  “Her mom is in the hospital at the moment,” I said, glancing over at Booker. But it wasn’t like I could traumatize him with the details. I didn’t know the details, and neither of us knew Mallory’s mom.

  Booker, being the kid that he was, cocked his head to the side. “Do you think I should draw her a ‘feel better’ card?” he asked. “We did that at school when Suzy’s daddy fell down the stairs and broke his leg.”

  “You know,” I said, smiling at him, “I think that’s a really nice idea.”

  Booker beamed at me, and I knew he was already thinking up the design in his head as he continued munching on his chicken nuggets and potatoes. Ace gave me a questioning look, but when I just shrugged, he didn’t ask any further questions, instead turning the topic to his own day at work, which had included a couple of his crazier clients.

  After dinner, the three of us headed into the living room to play some video games. It wasn’t long before Booker was tuckered out on the couch. Ace covered him with a blanket, and we kept playing for a little while longer, trying our best to keep the noise down, even though Booker slept like the dead most times. Nights like these, it felt just like it used to between my brother and I.

  I smiled down at Booker, though. My life had changed a lot ever since I had found him out on my doorstep. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

  My phone started buzzing on the coffee table, and I paused the game immediately when I saw Mallory’s name flash on the screen. “Gotta take this,” I muttered to Ace, swiping my phone and heading into the other room before answering.

  “Hey, it’s me,” Mallory said, sounding tired and a little nervous. “Any chance you’re at home, and I could come over? I know it’s a lot to ask, but I don’t really want to be alone tonight.”

  “Of course,” I told her. “I’m at Ace’s right now, but I’ll meet you there.”

  “Oh, I don’t want to drag you away from a night with your brother,” Mallory said, sounding conflicted.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I told her. “Honestly, we’re winding down anyway. And he’s kicking my ass at video games at the moment, so it’s probably better that I take the quick defeat.”

  “All right, if you’re sure,” Mallory said, but I could tell how relieved she was to hear me say that I’d meet her. I wanted to ask, but there were some things that you just didn’t talk about over the phone.

  “See you soon,” I promised her. I hung up and headed back into the living room.

  Ace raised an eyebrow at me. “Super-secret?” he asked.

  “It was Mallory,” I told him. “She wants to see me.” I looked over at Booker where he was sleeping on the couch. There was a part of me that definitely didn’t want to disturb him when he was sleeping so deeply. But at the same time, I had promised Mallory that I would be there when she showed up. She needed me.

  Ace seemed to read the dilemma on my face. “Go ahead,” he said. “I can watch Booger for the night and get him off to school in the morning, just like usual. You’ve got all his stuff in the car, right?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “But are you sure? You’ve been watching him a lot lately. I don’t want to take advantage or overstep.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Ace said. “Once you’re done with this winery business, you can hire a babysitter and take me out for a few drinks or something. No sweat.”

  “Thanks,” I told him. “I really appreciate it.”

  I got home a little bit before Mallory and waited impatiently to see her headlights through the front window. I couldn’t help feeling nervous, and I just wanted to see her to know she was okay. To know that whatever happened with her mother, it wasn’t that bad.

  Opening the door when she knocked, she immediately stepped forward into the comfort of my arms. “Hey,” she breathed against my shirt.

  “You all right?” I asked her, laying my cheek on top of her head.

  Mallory nodded wordlessly, her arms tightening around me. “I might cry,” she warned me, and I fought the urge to laugh. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face or out of my voice, though.

  “I think that’s allowed,” I told her. I led her inside, keeping my arms wrapped around her, and kicked the door shut behind us before maneuvering her over to the couch.

  “She’s going to be okay,” Mallory finally said. “At least for now. She has cancer. She’s had it for a while, and every time it seems like it’s going to go into remission, it seems like it just gets worse. She had a little scare, she’s basically doing fine now, but things aren’t looking so good. I just don’t know how much longer it’s going to be able to go on.”

  I could hear the tears in her voice, and I rubbed her back soothingly. “That must be really difficult,” I said quietly. “I can only imagine what you must be going through. And with everything with the business right now, too.”

  “Yeah, exactly,” Mallory said, drawing in a shaky breath as she finally pulled back. She brushed her hair back. There weren’t any tears staining her cheeks just yet, but I could see them standing there in her eyes. “It’s just been a lot to deal with.”

  “I’m glad she’s going to be okay at least for now,” I said. “Is she still in the hospital?”

  “Yeah,” Mallory said. She gave a short laugh and dabbed at her eyes. “She told me to get the hell out of there, though. Told me she was going to go crazy if she woke up to me staring at her again.”

  I laughed. I could only imagine how much personality Mallory’s mom must have, given how much her daughter had.

  “Do you know when she’s going to be release
d?” I asked.

  “No idea,” Mallory said. “I tried to catch her doctor this afternoon before he left for the day. She really wants to get out of there. But the nurse said not all of her tests have come back yet, so they still want to keep her there for observation.”

  She paused, frowning. “Actually, there’s something else I need to tell you about that.”

  “What is it?” I asked immediately, trying not to feel too worried despite the fact that she was obviously unsure about telling me.

  She stared down at her hands. “So, my mom usually comes to the Valentine’s Day party at the winery,” she said. “You know, it used to be her company. And actually, her father, my grandfather, was the one who started the party as a yearly tradition. She kept it alive in his memory. So, she’s hoping to be there tomorrow.”

  She shook her head. “The thing is, I almost feel like I shouldn’t be telling you this because as of today, it didn’t sound like the doctors really wanted to discharge her. They want to keep her for observation through the weekend. But there’s definitely a chance that she’ll put her foot down and get discharged, or else, I don’t know, sneak out of the hospital just to go to the party. I wouldn’t put it past her. Anyway, there’s a possibility that she might be there and you might have to meet her.”

  “Oh,” I said, surprised that was all it was. Mallory had made it sound like she was about to tell me that the world was ending or something. “That’s okay,” I said. “I look forward to meeting her. If you still want me to come, that is.”

  “I do!” Mallory said, all too quickly. She blushed. “I really do,” she said in a calmer tone of voice. “But the thing is, Mom was asking me if I had a date this year. She really wants me to get married and settle down and have kids,” she winced. “Not that there’s any pressure or anything. And I mean, I’d say that it’s just since she got sick, that she’s worried she won’t be around to see me settled into a family or whatever. But no, she was like this before.” She shook her head, looking mildly exasperated, and I couldn’t keep from grinning.

  “All right,” I said. “So, if she asks, I should tell her what my intentions are?”

  “Oh, she isn’t going to ask,” Mallory said, looking embarrassed. “I already kind of told her that you were going to be there as my date. Sorry. I know we hadn’t really talked about that.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said, pulling her back into my arms. “Honestly, I was more worried that with everything else you have going on right now, you might not want me to be there, let alone to be there as your date.”

  “With everything I have going on right now, I could really use a party,” Mallory said. She squirmed against me. “Does that sound really selfish? Here Mom is, stuck in the hospital and possibly, you know, and I’m just hoping for a party so I can forget all about it.”

  “That’s not selfish,” I said, tightening my arms around her again. “Or if it is selfish, it’s understandably selfish.”

  Mallory smiled, and I kissed her hair.

  “Like I said before, if there’s anything that I can do to help, just let me know,” I told her, my voice soft.

  “You’re helping so much by just being there for me,” Mallory said quietly. “You don’t even know.”

  For a while, we sat there in silence, just soaking in one another’s presence and receiving comfort from our warm bodies pressed together. Finally, Mallory shifted. “Is Booker here?” she asked, as though the question had just occurred to her.

  “Nah, he’s spending the night at Ace’s again,” I told her.

  Mallory winced. “I’m sorry. You could have brought him back here, you didn’t have to banish him. I mean, not banish him. But you know.”

  I shook my head. “I didn’t leave him there because you were coming over,” I promised her. “He was tuckered out and sleeping on the couch before you called. Easier to just let him sleep there for the night. I had all his school gear in the car, so Ace’ll drive him over there in the morning. It’s on his way to the gym anyway.”

  Mallory hummed an agreement. “Do you mind if I stay the night?” she asked shyly after a beat or two.

  I lightly stroked her hair back, my fingertips lingering on her cheek. “Put it this way, I’m not letting you leave tonight,” I told her. “We won’t take it any further than you want, but I don’t want you on your own tonight.”

  Mallory nodded slowly and then leaned in to kiss me.

  Chapter 30

  Mallory

  I’d spent the whole day at the hospital. Mom, of course, wasn’t happy that she was still stuck there. She had cussed out half the hospital staff by the time breakfast rounds were over. Not to their faces, of course. She was frustrated, but she would never be quite that rude. But since I was there in the room with her for the day, I caught the brunt of it.

  “I know they don’t like me eating my cheeseburgers, but would it really be so hard for them to make a decent egg scramble?” Mom griped as she lifted a spoonful of eggs before letting them slop back down onto her tray. The eggs were greyish around the edges and probably not seasoned at all. It was always roughly the same, although some of the meals were admittedly mildly better than others.

  But that wasn’t saying much.

  “Here,” Mom said, reaching over to grab her purse. “I want you to go to the vending machine and get me something. Anything. Hell, I’d eat toaster pastries right now if you could scrounge some up. I’d eat potato chips for breakfast.”

  “Mom, you know that’s not going to make you feel any better,” I reminded her gently. “But I’ll go and see what I can find.”

  Mom rolled her eyes, and I made a quick escape. Of course, by the time I returned, she was frustrated with something else. “The damned remote control won’t work,” she told me as she smacked it down against the side table. “The batteries must be dead.”

  I refrained from pointing out that if she continued to abuse it like that, mashing the buttons and every once in a while, giving it a good whack on the side table, then the whole remote was going to be dead in no time. Instead, I took the remote and aimed it at the TV. “What did you want to watch?” I asked, already flicking through the channels.

  “No, put it back!” Mom said. “I wanted to watch that, I just wanted the volume turned up. Can’t hear the damned thing, and I’m not going to sit here and read subtitles all morning. If I wanted to read, I’d have you get me a book.”

  And so on, throughout the course of the morning.

  But the worst was when she found out that she might not be discharged in time to go to the party. Then, she got really quiet. As quiet as I’d ever seen her. And she’d just sat there staring down at her hands. I expected her to make some quip about how she must already be dead because this was hell. Or to start talking about how close she was to death’s door.

  Instead, she just sighed quietly, a slight quiver to her lower lip. “I always go to the Valentine’s Day party,” she said, in an almost inaudible voice. “That’s where I met your father, even.”

  There was nothing I could say to that, so I just reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. We sat like that for most of the afternoon, each of us lost in our separate thoughts. I refused to believe that she wouldn’t be able to attend the party. As long as I kept believing that she would be there, that she would get to meet Hayden and Booker, then it would happen. Right?

  It was a long day, and by the time Mom told me to get out of there, I felt like I had been through the wringer. I was exhausted, but the last thing I wanted was to go home to my empty place and fall into bed alone. Suddenly, I felt like it was time for those tears that I had refused to let fall the day before when Hayden had driven me to the hospital.

  Could I call him now? Could I ask him if I could come over? I just wanted to be held. I wanted someone to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

  I felt like between the company and everything with Mom, not to mention the budding relationship with Hayden, I had stretche
d myself too thin lately. I had been worrying about everyone except myself. And suddenly, I realized that I had nothing left to give.

  Calling Hayden, he agreed that I could come over when I asked. And when I got there, he was altogether too nice to me. I didn’t cry the way I’d thought I might. But somehow, I still felt infinitely better than when I’d first arrived. For the first time, it felt like maybe I had done something right. Maybe I was strong enough to get through this.

  Maybe Mom was strong enough to get through this, too.

  I moaned as Hayden opened his mouth to me, letting me slide my tongue against his. He was being careful, letting me set the pace. I needed that right now, I realized. I needed to feel like I was in control.

  Where last time, I had enjoyed teasing him, this time, I wanted something different. I stood abruptly, catching his hand and leading him upstairs to his bedroom. We both stripped down silently before stepping over to the bed. Hayden ran a hand down my side, making me tremble before he lay me gently down on the sheets.

  Slowly, he kissed down the length of my body, leaving no spot untouched, and I felt safe. I felt cared for. Where last time and the time before, things had felt so reckless and out of control, this felt comforting and warm. I sighed softly as he licked at the velvet folds between my legs, my knees falling open even wider to accommodate him.

  He nibbled and sucked at my sensitive skin until I was arching against the hands that held my hips in place. Then, he moved his way back up my body, staring deep into my eyes as he slid into me inch by inch, until he was fully inside of me.

  I clung to him, needing this more than words could describe. And he seemed to understand that. Gone were the frantic thrusts of our previous encounters. This time, he slid carefully out of my body, until just his very tip was left inside, teasing the nerves at my entrance, before he pressed back into me, a slow build that made heat prickle throughout my body.