Dawn of Change

by Gerri Hill

  “Don’t you dare.” Her voice was but a whisper. “Don’t you dare come into my life, make me feel like this about you, make me want you . . . and then say forget about it. Don’t you dare do that to me.”

  “I didn’t want this, Susan. I wanted a friend,” Shawn insisted.

  “You’ve got a friend.” Susan gripped Shawn’s arms tightly, her blue eyes penetrating. “But when I close my eyes at night, it’s you I see, you I want. I imagine your hands on me. I imagine touching you that way,” she whispered.

  “Don’t do this to me.” Shawn’s voice was ragged, husky with desire.

  “I never thought I’d be begging another woman to make love to me,” Susan murmured. She finally let go of Shawn’s arms. “Run from this, then,” she told her. “I’m the one that should be running, you know. I should be scared shitless, but all I can think about is being with you.”

  Shawn shook her head, fighting with herself for what she wanted to say, what she wanted to do. Susan had no idea what she was asking. She had no idea how much her life would change. But Shawn knew. And she also knew that Susan would hate her eventually. Everything in her life would change and it would be all Shawn’s fault. There would be no going back.

  But those eyes. Shawn looked into them and she very nearly gave in. To hell with it, she wanted to say. Just take what she’s offering you. You want it, you know that. You’ve wanted it for so long now.

  The war raged within her, until Susan finally turned away.

  “Goodbye, Shawn. Come up when you’re ready to talk.”

  Shawn could barely take a breath, but she slammed the truck door with finality. It was best this way. They were friends. That was enough.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Susan moved from the bed to the sofa. She thought she had known loneliness. She thought she had known heartbreak. She had thought it could not possibly get any darker than when she found Dave in her bed with another woman.

  But the pain that tugged at her heart now was nearly too much for her to endure. Had she ruined a special friendship? Had she pushed Shawn too far? Had she misread Shawn?

  No. Shawn’s eyes revealed much too much. Susan could read her every expression, but it seems that Shawn was better at smothering this desire than Susan. She had caved, actually. One look into Shawn’s eyes, one touch. That was all it had taken. Susan had been ready to abandon her life for one night in Shawn’s arms.

  But then what? What did she know about it? And why now? Wasn’t it enough to deal with Lisa? How could she possibly consider a relationship—a sexual relationship—with another woman, when her own daughter was struggling with her sexual orientation?

  But that’s just it. Lisa wasn’t really struggling anymore. She had accepted it. Now it was Susan’s turn to wonder if it was just Shawn, or was it women? Or was it Dave? Could her marriage to Dave and its outcome have pushed her to this?

  If anything, it was simply Shawn. Susan had felt drawn to her from the moment they met. She had no business inviting a complete stranger for dinner that first day. And they certainly had no business being friends. They were from two different worlds. But there was just something about Shawn, something that drew her. And once they had gotten past the barriers, everything else had just fallen into place.

  Even now, as disheartened as she was feeling, just the thought of Shawn’s eyes, her face, her presence warmed Susan. She didn’t want to think about the stolen moments in the forest or by the tent, the few minutes when they had actually let go, when they had let their passion have full rein . . . when Shawn had finally allowed her true feelings to show. And how close had they been? When Shawn’s mouth settled over her breasts, Susan nearly fainted. She knew that Dave had never once, in all their years together, driven her to the edge like that. She had never lost control with Dave. Never.

  But that was Sunday. And on this Wednesday afternoon, Susan was no closer to forgetting Shawn’s touch, her kiss, than she had been Sunday night.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Alex struggled to keep up as Shawn ran full speed. Every day, she ran. She ran as fast as she could. But no matter how fast she ran, she could not outrun Susan. She was there—her eyes, her face, her voice. Oh God, and her touch.

  Shawn’s feet slowed. She was lost. Lost in remembering. She finally stopped, bent over at the waist, hands resting on thighs as she struggled for breath. Alex squatted beside her, his tongue hanging out as he, too, struggled to catch his breath.

  “Sorry, buddy,” she muttered.

  The walk back to the house was slow, automatic, Shawn oblivious to her surroundings, her mind simply focusing on Susan. Susan had left the ball in her court. It was Shawn’s choice. All she had to do was go to her. If she dared.

  She shuddered at the thought. With just one touch from Susan, the tiny hold she still had on her control would be gone. And she knew she wouldn’t be able to get it back. And then what? Would that one time be enough for her? Would that be enough for Susan?

  Maybe because it was a Thursday, but Susan was surprised by the sound of a car door slamming. She walked out the front, her feet stopping of their own will when she saw Shawn standing hesitantly beside her truck. Susan’s heart clutched and she felt a nervous tightening in her chest. She came. At last.

  Their eyes met and nothing could have prepared Susan for what she felt at that moment. Her throat threatened to close and she drew a trembling breath. There could only be one reason for Shawn to be here. And Susan knew without a doubt that this was what she wanted. Desperately.

  Shawn stood motionless.

  Susan walked down the steps slowly, her eyes never releasing Shawn’s.

  Shawn opened her mouth to speak, but coherent thought left when Susan stopped in front of her. It was the eyes. They opened into her very soul and Shawn felt stripped of her defenses, exposed. There was no place to hide and she knew that Susan could see everything.

  “Come inside.” Susan finally spoke, but her voice was barely a whisper.

  “We should . . . we should talk,” Shawn murmured weakly.

  “Later. Come inside.” Then, when Shawn drew a nervous breath, Susan whispered, “Please?”

  Susan saw the softening of Shawn’s eyes and quickly took her hand, leading her into the cabin. They both ignored Alex, shutting the door in his face.

  Susan listened to her own breath as it quickly expelled from her chest. Shawn stood before her, jogging shorts leaving little to the imagination as Susan’s eyes locked on firm thighs. She forced her eyes higher, higher still and finally settled on Shawn’s face. She watched in fascination as Shawn’s lips parted, the tip of her tongue coming out to wet her dry lips. When their gazes held, Susan saw all her desire mirrored in Shawn’s eyes.

  “I want this,” Susan breathed.

  Shawn still could not speak. Her throat tightened as she imagined touching Susan, as she imagined Susan making love to her. She felt her own wetness against her thighs and knew she was dangerously close to losing control and they’d not even touched.

  “Please say yes,” Susan whispered.

  Shawn couldn’t say no. She pinned Susan against the door, molding her body flush to Susan’s, then parting Susan’s legs with one thigh. She moved to capture her lips, then stopped, her eyes locking with Susan’s.

  “Please be sure of this,” she begged.

  It was Susan who closed the distance between them. Mouths parted and tongues met and all control was lost.

  Shawn moaned into Susan’s mouth when she felt Susan’s warmth against her thigh. She pushed harder against her, meeting the rocking of Susan’s hips.

  Susan trembled, finally drawing her head away far enough to breathe. Their chests heaved and their eyes locked. Susan opened her mouth, wanting to suggest the bedroom, but Shawn silenced her again when soft lips met her own.

  Shawn told herself to go slow. Susan would need her to go slow. But the burning ache inside of her could hardly wait and she wanted to take Susan right there. She wanted her fingers insi
de Susan, she wanted to hear her cry out. She pulled her mouth away from Susan’s, breathing deeply, trying to slow down, but Susan’s hands came to her, driving out all thoughts of patience.

  Susan tugged Shawn’s shirt out, then pulled it over her head in one motion. She needed to touch flesh. But she nearly fainted. Shawn wore no bra. She sucked in her breath at the lean sight before her, then moaned deep in her throat as Shawn came toward her.

  Shawn didn’t stop until her hands gripped Susan’s hips and pulled her close against her. Susan threw back her head in surrender and Shawn’s mouth found her throat, her lips gently sucking, teeth nipping.

  “Shawn,” Susan breathed. “Please,” she begged. For what, she didn’t know. She pressed her hot center against Shawn’s thigh, shuddering at the sensations this caused, feeling her own wetness soak her shorts.

  Shawn lost control instantly. With one hand, Susan’s shorts were discarded. The other hand knew no patience. Their eyes locked together as Shawn’s fingers slid into Susan, letting warm wetness envelop her.

  “Shawn,” Susan groaned, her voice deep, husky, strange to her own ears. With each thrust of Shawn’s hand, Susan’s hips rocked against her, her arms pulling Shawn close as she held on.

  Shawn’s fingers curled, plunging deep, reaching the very center of Susan. She felt muscles contract, a tightness around her fingers. She heard Susan’s ragged breath in her ear, heard her name being whispered over and over.

  “Come on, let go,” she urged Susan. “I’ve got you.”

  With her thumb, she rubbed against Susan, once, twice, finding her swollen, ready. Then her fingers were engulfed in wetness, her hand dripping as powerful contractions shook Susan’s body. Shawn thrust into her one last time, meeting the force of Susan’s hips as they urged Shawn deeper.

  The cry that came from Susan sounded foreign. A primal sound, it came from deep in her chest, then her knees gave way and she clutched at Shawn, burying her face against Shawn’s neck.

  “I’ve got you,” Shawn murmured.

  Susan didn’t speak. She wasn’t sure she could form words. She simply let Shawn hold her as her breathing slowed. Finally she drew back, daring to meet Shawn’s eyes. She gasped again as Shawn slowly pulled her fingers away.

  “I’m sorry,” Shawn said softly. “I didn’t want it to be like that. Not the first time.”

  Susan’s hand was trembling when she touched Shawn’s face. “And what was wrong with that?”

  “I wanted it to be . . . so slow,” Shawn said seriously. “I wanted the first time to be . . .”

  Susan put two fingers to Shawn’s lips to silence her. “I think that was what we needed just then.” Then her voice softened as her hands slid down, moving over Shawn’s bare shoulders. “We’ve got all day, you know.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Shawn tried to be patient. She wanted Susan to experience exactly what it could be like to be with a woman. But Susan lay naked before her, her arms open and she drew Shawn to her, her mouth as hungry for Shawn as Shawn was for her. Shawn settled her weight on top of Susan, lying gently between Susan’s parted thighs.

  Shawn’s kiss was so gentle, so soft, that Susan sighed, simply enjoying the light pressure of Shawn’s mouth. She savored every kiss, every brush of Shawn’s tongue against her lips. Shawn was true to her word. Slow. But it was a slow torture, Susan thought. When Shawn lifted her head, Susan saw Shawn’s barely controlled desire. She knew it wouldn’t take much to push Shawn over the edge, but she lay still, waiting for Shawn’s touch. Then Shawn moved her legs, straddling one of Susan’s thighs, pressing her wetness against Susan’s leg and Susan groaned loudly, wondering who was pushing whom over the edge. She wanted to touch her, feel the wetness with her fingers, but Shawn moved again, her hot mouth searching, finally finding Susan’s breast. When lips closed over her aching nipple, Susan gasped. The sensations were nearly too much for her to bear, but she forced her eyes open, watching as Shawn’s mouth covered her. When Shawn lifted her head and locked eyes with Susan, the tenderness that Susan saw brought tears to her eyes.

  “Shawn . . .”

  “You’re so beautiful, Susan,” Shawn whispered. “Just let me love you.”

  Susan’s breath caught and she whimpered as Shawn’s mouth returned to her breast. So gentle . . . she had never been loved this way before.

  Shawn tried desperately to keep the pace slow, but her mouth grew hungry and Shawn devoured Susan, first one breast, then the other. She ignored the ache between her own thighs, her only concern to please Susan. Shawn moved her hand between them, feeling the wetness, not knowing if it was her own or Susan’s. Then she slid through Susan’s folds, letting the wet silk coat her fingers. Susan tried to press against her, but she pulled away, bringing her hand up, inhaling deeply, the scent of Susan’s arousal stirring her desire even more.

  Susan watched as Shawn brought fingers to her own mouth, licking Susan’s juices from them, then bending to kiss Susan, letting her taste herself.

  “Jesus, Shawn . . . please,” Susan begged. Their eyes locked again and again she whispered, “Please.”

  At the look in Susan’s eyes, Shawn wanted to bury her head between Susan’s thighs and never come up, but she drew in a nervous breath.

  “Watch me,” she breathed, then slowly moved down Susan’s body, aware of blue eyes on her as her tongue wet a path to a much warmer, wetter place.

  “Shawn.”

  It was just a whisper, but it echoed between them and Shawn raised her head, eyes colliding with Susan’s as Susan watched her every breath.

  Shawn lowered her head again and Susan trembled, watching as Shawn’s mouth moved over her. It was difficult for her to breathe and Susan tried to concentrate on each breath but she couldn’t ignore the sensations below as Shawn moved between her thighs. Her hips raised instinctively, searching for Shawn’s mouth, and finally her eyes slid closed when she felt Shawn’s hands glide up her thighs, urging her legs apart.

  Shawn’s fingers inched their way up Susan’s thighs. She breathed deeply, the scent of Susan’s arousal causing her breath to catch. Unconsciously, her tongue wet her lips, anticipation making her heart pound in her chest. Susan’s soft hair glistened, the evidence of her arousal spreading to her thighs. Shawn groaned, her hands spreading Susan even more.

  “Sweet Jesus,” Susan gasped when Shawn’s hot mouth finally found her. It shouldn’t have felt so new, so different. But when Shawn’s tongue slid into her, she threw her head back, her mouth opening in a desperate attempt to draw breath. Surely, it had never felt like this.

  Shawn slowed, her mouth moving away from Susan, kissing her inner thighs now as she ignored Susan’s whimper, ignored the thrust of her hips as Susan searched for her. Susan was too close to climaxing and Shawn was not nearly ready for this to end.

  “Don’t stop,” Susan begged. Her voice was a ragged plea.

  “Open your eyes,” Shawn commanded softly.

  It took all of Susan’s strength to obey, but finally blue eyes looked into brown.

  “You have the most beautiful eyes,” Shawn murmured.

  Susan tried to smile. “Now is not the time to compliment my eyes.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  Shawn held Susan’s eyes captive as she slowly moved her hand over Susan’s thigh, fingers moving into damp curls before stopping.

  Susan’s moan was soft, quiet, but her hips thrust forward, trying to urge Shawn into her. When her eyes would have closed again, Shawn stopped.

  “No. Don’t. I want to watch you as you climax,” she whispered.

  When Susan locked eyes with her again, Shawn thrust her fingers inside, feeling Susan close around her, watching as her eyes turned an even deeper blue. Susan’s chest heaved, but her eyes remained glued to Shawn’s. Then Shawn pulled her fingers away, moving through silky wetness. Her fingertips stroked Susan lightly, her own desire nearly reaching the breaking point when Susan surged against her.

  “Shawn,�
� she gasped.

  “Look at me,” Shawn begged.

  Eyes locked together as Shawn touched Susan again, fingers stroking against swollen flesh. Her hand moved faster, trying to match Susan’s rapid breathing, trying to keep pace, then Susan’s hips pushed hard against her hand. Shawn still held her eyes, watching as Susan finally let go. She heard her named screamed from Susan’s lips, saw blue eyes turn nearly black, but Susan never pulled her eyes away.

  Her orgasm hit with such force, Susan was certain she would pass out. But she opened herself to Shawn, her eyes hiding nothing as she climaxed.

  The trust that Shawn saw in Susan’s eyes nearly brought her to tears. At the last possible moment, she thrust her fingers inside, feeling Susan take her in, watching as Susan’s eyes finally failed her, sliding shut as her mouth opened to emit the sweetest scream Shawn had ever heard.

  As she screamed Shawn’s name, Susan knew she had never truly climaxed before. She felt her body pulsing against Shawn’s hand, felt her wetness run down her thighs, soaking the sheets. Then Shawn’s mouth was on her again, sucking her intimately inside, tongue moving over sensitive flesh, tongue delving inside her and Susan screamed as a second orgasm shook her.

  Shawn quickly straddled one of Susan’s thighs, her legs trembling as she pressed her hot center hard against Susan’s leg. The release she craved came immediately. Her hips rocked against Susan, each thrust bringing her closer until she gasped, breathing Susan’s name as orgasm claimed her. She had been so ready, she knew it wouldn’t take much.

  Susan wanted to touch Shawn, but her hands wouldn’t obey. Then when Shawn had straddled her, when she felt Shawn’s wetness against her thigh, she tried to push against her as Shawn sought her own release. But Susan found she couldn’t move. She didn’t even have the strength to open her eyes. Even when Shawn whispered her name, when she felt the younger woman trembling against her, when she felt Shawn’s weight finally settle on top of her, still Susan remained paralyzed.