Barely Breathing (Colorado High Country #1)

by Pamela Clare

  Megs answered for him. “Stuff a sock in it, Herrera.”

  Lexi unlocked the back door and stood back to let her father enter. “Way to make a fool of both of us tonight, Dad. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive you. I’ve never felt more humiliated.”

  “Don’t know why you spend time with them anyway.” He shuffled through the door, walked to the cabinet where he’d kept most of his liquor, apparently forgetting it was empty. “Where’s the rum? Did you dump it, too?”

  “I’m doing pro-bono work for the Team, Dad, and until tonight at least, I thought I was making some real friends.”

  “You don’t need him.”

  “Do not talk to me about Austin.” Oh, God, poor Austin! He’d stood up to her father, tried to protect her, tried to help. What must he think of her now? “I can’t believe what you said to him, what you said in front of everyone.”

  Her father turned and glared at her, a confused look on his face. “Is that overgrown rock jock after you again?”

  My God. Had her father forgotten what he’d just done?

  She would have thrown every stupid word he’d said back in his face, but what was the point? He wouldn’t remember five minutes from now, much less in the morning. “You’re drunk, Dad. Go to bed.”

  Instead, he sat at the table. “What’s for supper?”

  “I don’t know. What are you making?” She got herself a glass of water, reached into the cabinet, and got an aspirin, her head beginning to throb. “I ate at the pub.”

  “Oh, that’s sweet. What kind of daughter are you?”

  She slammed the glass down on the counter. “Why did I even come here? What was I thinking?”

  “Kendra says you lost your job. That’s why you’re here.”

  “What?” Rage and humiliation crashed over her. “I quit, Dad. I filed a sexual harassment suit against an asshole who tried to bully me into sleeping with him, and I got a settlement. Did Kendra tell you that, too?”

  From the look on his face, she hadn’t. Or he’d simply forgotten.

  She needed to get away from him, away from here. “I’m leaving.”

  Grabbing her handbag, she walked out of the house, needing to put distance between herself and her father, her blood boiling, tears pricking her eyes. She blinked the tears away and headed up the highway, not caring where she went or noticing that the sun had already set.

  Why had she come back to Scarlet anyway? Britta was right. This wasn’t her problem. If her father wanted to destroy his life, that was his decision. She didn’t have to let him drag her down, too. She needed to get back to Chicago. She could live with Vic until she got a new job. She could start over.

  Austin.

  The thought of leaving him so soon put an ache in her chest. She’d made him no promises, but the hours she’d spent with him were the happiest she’d known in a long time. If she had her way, they would see where this friendship of theirs took them.

  And then there was the audit.

  “Shit!” She’d almost forgotten about that.

  Okay, so she was going nowhere. Not yet.

  Then again, there was a chance her father had just destroyed her relationship with Megs and the others. Just when she’d thought she’d found a place where she felt at home, he’d had to show up drunk and shoot off his mouth. He’d accused them of letting her mother die, insulting them in public, saying things that weren’t true.

  How could she ever look Megs in the eyes again?

  She stopped when she realized where her footsteps had brought her.

  She opened the cemetery’s iron gate and threaded her way through the tombstones toward her mother’s grave. She hadn’t been here in years, but she knew where it was—there in the shade of the aspens.

  Lexi ran her fingers over the engraved words.

  Emily Ann O’Hara Jewell

  June 5, 1960 – April 21, 1990

  Beloved wife, mother, friend

  “Mama.” Lexi knelt on the ground. For a time, she could do nothing but cry, grief rising from some hidden place inside her. “We messed it all up. We’re no good without you. Dad, well, he’s a jerk who drinks all the time. Britta is on her own in San Diego. My life fell apart. I don’t even know where I belong anymore.”

  She told her mother what had gone wrong in Chicago, told her why she’d come back to Scarlet, told her about Austin and what had happened earlier this evening at Knockers. She didn’t know if her mother could hear her, but it felt good to talk to someone. And if she felt her mother’s gentle presence—well, it was probably just her imagination. Only when she realized it was completely dark did she get back to her feet.

  It wasn’t safe to walk along the highway in the dark alone.

  “Goodbye, Mama. I love you.”

  Wiping the tears from her face, she hurried back toward the gate.

  Austin sat in his Tahoe on the shoulder of the highway, watching as Lexi left her mother’s graveside and walked back through the cemetery. He’d been on his way to the inn to check on her and her father when he’d spotted her all but running up the road. Figuring she needed space, he’d parked across the road to keep an eye on her.

  Dusk was the time of day when mountain lions came out to hunt, and more than one unsuspecting hiker had been attacked in these mountains. And then there were predators of the human variety, including the man who’d taken a shot at him.

  Austin had watched when she’d stopped in front of the cemetery, had felt a hard lump in his throat when she’d knelt in front of her mother’s grave, her grief piercing his chest. Why hadn’t he understood how badly losing her mother had hurt her? It ought to have been obvious. She’d been four years old, for God’s sake. That would crush a child.

  Hawke’s words had come back to him.

  Kendra had no idea what she was doing and had never planned to be a mother, so the girls were basically left to deal with the loss of their mom by themselves.

  And it had hit him that Lexi had, in truth, lost both of her parents.

  Austin had never lost anyone close to him. His parents were alive and healthy, his grandparents, too. He’d been on rescues where people had died. It had shaken him up, but the loss hadn’t been personal. The most grief he’d experienced had been when his first dog, Quinn, had died—and when he’d lost Lexi.

  He was lucky.

  Lexi passed through the iron gate and started down the highway toward town, apparently not noticing him.

  He called to her. “Want a ride?”

  Startled, she whirled around, eyes wide. “Austin?”

  He climbed out of the vehicle. “I followed you.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t cross the road, but stood where she was, her arms crossed as if she were cold. “I’m surprised you even want to talk to me after that.”

  Unwilling to have this conversation by shouting back and forth, he waited for a Jeep to pass, then crossed the highway. “It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you. Neither does Rain or Megs or anyone else on the Team.”

  “Really?”

  “Come here.”

  In a heartbeat, she was in his arms. “Oh, Austin, I’m so sorry. My father—”

  “He’s responsible for his own actions.” Austin kissed her hair. “I have an idea. Why don’t you go get your stuff and stay at my house for the next few days? You can take a break from the problems with your dad, and I can get my T-shirt and jeans back. You can take a hot bath or watch TV—just unwind.”

  He hadn’t planned this, and the moment the invitation was out of his mouth, some part of him wondered if he was getting in over his head. They were just friends, after all.

  “You don’t know how much I would love to take you up on that, but I need to make sure my dad is okay. By the time we got home, he didn’t even remember what he’d said. If anything were to happen to him…”

  “You don’t have to explain. Let’s get you home.”

  “Thanks.” She stood on tiptoe, kissed his lips. “And thanks for following me. I
t’s creepy out here after dark.”

  They crossed the highway, climbed into his vehicle, and headed toward town.

  Lexi found her father passed out on the sofa. She turned off the television, draped a blanket over him, then took a long, hot shower. She dropped her clothes—and the clothes she’d borrowed from Austin—in the laundry, smiling to herself at his last words to her.

  Hey, don’t feel like you have to wash the jeans.

  She made her way back to her room, the annoying rattle of her father’s snores following her down the hall. She closed the door, slipped into the T-shirt she used as pajamas, and called Britta, catching her up on everything that had happened with Kendra and their father since the last time they’d spoken. She reached the part where her father shouted at Austin in Knockers before Brit cut her off.

  “Can’t say I blame Dad for that. You’re sleeping with that bastard again?”

  Lexi couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, and I’m enjoying every moment of it.”

  No man on earth was better in bed than Austin Taylor. It was a simple fact.

  “You’re not getting hooked on him, are you?”

  “No! No, of course not. We’re just friends—you know, with benefits.”

  “I thought you couldn’t stand each other.”

  “That’s what I thought, too.” Lexi told her how they’d agreed to let the past go and had ended up in bed together. She skipped the intimate details—or most of them anyway. “It’s not like either of us planned this.”

  “He broke your heart, Lex. I listened to you cry yourself to sleep every night for a month. Or have you forgotten?”

  Lexi hadn’t forgotten. “That was twelve years ago. We were both stupid teenagers. I hurt him, too, you know.”

  When her sister said nothing, Lexi went on. “This morning, he woke me up by getting me all hot and bothered. Then I went with him to one of the Team’s trainings and watched him climb. God, if you could see—”

  “Listen to yourself. You are falling for him again.”

  “Falling for him?” Lexi’s pulse spiked. “No, I’m not! I just really love having sex with him. I’m leaving in a couple of weeks anyway. It’s not like he and I can be together in the long term.”

  “Exactly. Remember that.”

  “He was there for me tonight.” Lexi told her sister how he’d stood up for her and tried to help. “After I got Dad home, I went to visit Mom’s grave. Austin followed me. I didn’t even know he was there.”

  “Creepy.”

  “No, not creepy. It was getting dark. He watched over me, then offered me a ride home.” It had touched Lexi more than she could say.

  “So the man’s not always an ass. How nice.” Britta moved on. “You said Dad insulted the search and rescue team, too?”

  Lexi filled her in on the rest—what her father had shouted to Megs and the others, what he’d said to her when they’d gotten home.

  “Kendra let Dad believe you’d lost your job? What a bitch!”

  “I guess I don’t know that for certain.” She didn’t want to condemn Kendra unfairly. “Dad was so drunk, he might have forgotten the rest of the details.”

  “Oh, you know that’s what she did. It was probably her way of getting back at you for letting her believe Dad had hired Rain.”

  Lexi hadn’t thought about it like that. “You’re probably right. I guess all’s fair in love and war.”

  “Which one is this—love or war?”

  Lexi suddenly felt weary. “I’m not sure.”

  For a moment, neither of them spoke.

  Britta broke the silence. “Dad has a serious drinking problem.”

  “Yeah.” It was time Lexi faced this fact. “God, Britta, what am I going to do?”

  “Are you truly asking? If you are, you know you’ll get an answer.” Her sister was sometimes painfully direct.

  “Of course, I’m asking.”

  “You can’t fix him. Pack up and drive to California. You can stay with me for a while. We can hang on Mission Beach after work. You’ll love it. We’ll do a harbor tour and look at the sea lions. I’ll show you the city. We can go to the clubs on Coronado Island, maybe meet some Navy SEALs. What do you think?”

  Oh, it was tempting. She and Britta hadn’t spent any real time together since the Christmas before last. “I would love that, but I have to finish the audit first.”

  “How long is that going to take?”

  “A few weeks at least.” Rather than trying to figure out why she’d just lied to her sister—she’d be done in ten days tops—she gave Britta an overview of what was involved in a forensic audit. “I’m probably going to have to meet with the district attorney to go over all of it. I might even be asked to testify.”

  “I’m proud of you for helping the Team. Really I am.” The tone of Britta’s voice implied she had reservations about this.

  “But… There’s a ‘but’ in there somewhere.”

  “I’m afraid you’re going to get your heart broken again and find yourself stuck in that damned town if you don’t leave soon.”

  Stuck in Scarlet?

  “Trust me,” Lexi reassured her. “That is not going to happen.”

  She wouldn’t let it happen.

  Chapter 12

  Sunday was Austin’s early shift. He’d planned to head back up to Russey Ranch, which was still closed to the public, but Sutherland had left him an email asking him to meet Tamiko Mori, the county’s lead biologist, at Moose Lake to help set up motion-activated infrared cameras for a wildlife study. Sutherland had claimed Mori was behind schedule and needed his help, but Austin knew it was Sutherland’s way of keeping him on light duty. This was the sort of job they saved for female rangers who were pregnant or staff who’d been injured.

  Tamiko met him at the trailhead, a friendly smile on her face. “It’s not what you’re used to doing, is it?”

  “You could say that.”

  The job was interesting at least and gave him an excuse to climb trees. He spent the next ten hours putting cameras together and positioning them where they had a clear view of the trail but where hikers were unlikely to tamper with them. The goal of the study was to determine how often mountain lions crossed the park’s most heavily used trails. The more biologists knew, the better their chances of preventing conflicts between humans and animals.

  After work, he drove home, took Mack for a quick walk, then stripped off his dirty uniform and stepped into the shower, washing a day’s worth of tree sap, dust, and sweat off his skin, his thoughts turning to Lexi. She’d texted him earlier, thanking him again for giving her a ride home. He’d texted back.

  No problem. Dinner?

  Sure!

  I’ll pick you up at 6.

  God, he wanted to see her.

  Only two things about this bothered him.

  First, Sunday evenings were set aside for family dinner. His mother always made a big meal, and the entire family gathered together. He’d brought Lexi to many of those family meals years ago, but if he showed up with her at his side now…

  His parents would be gracious, but his sister might not be able to keep her mouth shut. Chey might be six years younger, but that didn’t stop her from trying to protect him. She had a sharp tongue.

  Second, he shouldn’t want to see Lexi—not like this. They were only friends. He shouldn’t spend his free time thinking about her, wanting her, wanting to be with her. He couldn’t let her become a fever in his blood like she’d been before. He needed to step back, keep his distance, play it cool.

  Nothing says ‘playing it cool’ like bringing her to dinner with the family.

  Still, he couldn’t seem to stop himself.

  He called his mother. “Hey, would you mind if I brought someone tonight?”

  “Lexi Jewell.”

  “How—”

  “The word all over town is that the two of you are sleeping together. Who else would it be? I heard what her father said to you. Honestly, Austin, are there no other w
omen in the state of Colorado who interest you?”

  Shit.

  “Lexi and I are just friends, Mom.” Austin winced at his own words.

  His mother wasn’t going to buy that.

  “You’re a grown man. How you choose to mess up your life is your business. I just don’t want to see you hurt again. Neither does Cheyenne. I have no idea how she’ll take this.”

  “I’ll deal with Chey.”

  Having spoken her piece, his mother relented. “Sure. Bring Lexi. God knows that poor girl could use some time with a functional family.”

  “We’re a functional family?” Austin teased.

  In truth, they had their differences, but at the end of the day, they were there for one another.

  His mother laughed. “See you at six.”

  Now all he had to do was ignore the voice in his head warning him that this was a catastrophically bad idea—and explain to Lexi that they’d be eating with his family.

  But first, he sent a text to his sister.

  Bringing Lexi to dinner tonight. Behave.

  Chey replied right away.

  That bitch? WTF????

  “Jesus.”

  Lexi took Austin’s hand as they headed up the stone walkway to the front door of the Taylor house, butterflies dancing in her stomach. She couldn’t believe she’d agreed to have dinner with his family. Then again, anything was better than spending the evening with her father. “Chey hates my guts. Do you know she called me a bitch?”

  “That was a long time ago.”

  “Tell her that.” She glanced down at the silver sandals she’d chosen, their short heels clicking on the flagstone. She liked the way they went with the silver lace on her Rory Beca tank top, but maybe they were too dressy to wear with jeans.

  “It’s going to be okay. Quit worrying.” Austin opened the door, held it for her.

  Lexi took a breath to steady herself, then stepped inside, the savory scent of roasted chicken making her mouth water.

  “There they are.” Roxanne Taylor, Austin’s mother, appeared from behind a partition that separated the dining room from the living room, a warm smile on her face. She took Lexi’s hand, held it between hers. “So good to see you, Lexi.”