Craving Caden (Lost Boys Book 2)

by Jessica Lemmon

  I thought of Tony and smirked. “Or a ball bat.”

  His brow creased in worry. “Not literally, right? The boy with the ball bat? That’s a metaphor?”

  “Yes, that’s a metaphor. My ex-boyfriend played the field. Turned out there were a lot more girls on his team than I first realized.”

  “One of those,” Mr. Newman snarled. “I hope your new boyfriend is loyal.”

  “He is. I mean, he would be if we were serious.”

  “From the dazed look in your eyes, seems like it’s already serious for you.”

  My smile shook. Was I so transparent?

  Cade

  Paul was frowning. I was used to him frowning at me, but usually it was because I’d said nothing. This time around, my father was frowning because I’d just said a whole lot to him—none of which he wanted to hear.

  “No.” He shook his head as if I’d asked a question rather than made a statement. “I won’t let you do it, Cade. I won’t let you quit college after you’ve come this far with your speech. You wanted to be a lawyer. You are going back to college. Just because—”

  “Just because what? My best friends are going forward without me, or because I’ve lost every ounce of passion for law since the accident?” I hadn’t stammered or stuttered once since I left Tasha’s house this morning. Not a single time. I was unused to the stab of certainty, but I was embracing it. I knew what I wanted. And what I didn’t want. It was time to admit it.

  “Finish your bachelor’s degree, at least.”

  “And then law school,” I finished for him, figuring that’s what he was thinking.

  “Why not?”

  How about because law school would consume my life? If I resumed a full class load, when would I see Tasha? Instead of bringing her into it, I argued, “When would I have time to work? I don’t want to live here forever.”

  “Maybe your old friends will let you move in with them after all. You can study together. They could help you.”

  The idea of approaching my friends, of picking up the pieces of a life I didn’t want anymore, didn’t appeal.

  “No,” I growled.

  “Dammit, Cade. Finish what you started!”

  “I don’t want to fff-inish what I s-started.” Shit.

  I let him rattle me. I closed my eyes and pulled in a long breath through my nose. I heard Tasha’s voice in my head telling me to relax. When I opened my eyes, Paul wasn’t frowning at me. He was looking at me like I was fragile instead of obstinate, which was so much worse.

  “Son, I want you to have an opportunity to make something of yourself.”

  “I’m good with cars,” I said slowly so that I didn’t stumble. I’d been thinking about this for a long time. Longer than he knew. I followed Brooke to college not because I wanted to take prelaw but because she wanted me to. What I loved to do never factored in.

  “Street racing? You can’t be serious.”

  He would think that. “N-no. God.”

  “I’m sorry.” He held up a hand, maybe to stay my temper. “Take it from a guy who knows how profitable illegal activities can be. I know that was easy money for you.”

  I stood from the kitchen table and he stood with me. Last year he was neck-deep in gambling debts and ate ice cream like it was a sport, but he’d recently gone down to his old fighting weight. He wasn’t as muscular as I was up top, but he was more intimidating when he didn’t have a paunchy belly.

  “I don’t street race anymore.” I dragged out the M a bit too long but decided to forgive myself for it. “I don’t want to be a lawyer, Dad.”

  If this hiatus from school had taught me anything, it was that I wanted to be underneath a car for most of the day. I wanted to work with my hands. I wanted to fix things, make things. I wanted to spend time with Tasha. No idea if a grease monkey was acceptable boyfriend material for her, but if so, well, that sounded like an ideal future to me.

  What I didn’t want was what I had now. I didn’t want to carry a bus tub through a greasy kitchen five nights a week. I didn’t want test anxiety. I didn’t want to try and fit in with my peers or get arrested for knocking Tony’s teeth out. Which, face it, would happen if I ran into him at a party.

  “Just think about it,” Paul pled. “That’s all I’m asking.”

  But I was done thinking. This time around, I was choosing my future.

  “Where are you going?” he called as I walked from the kitchen.

  “To see Tasha.” I knew she didn’t care if I became a hot-shit lawyer, or if I went back to school. She wanted me to be happy. I would tell her my plan. Thank her for her help, and her dedication. Press her against the nearest wall and make out with her long and slow.

  And then I’d lay out a plan for a future—our future. I wasn’t sure how she’d react, but if I had a chance in hell of winning her over, I was damn well going to take it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Cade

  I swirled my tongue between Tasha’s legs as she shuddered against me. Water from the shower was damn near drowning me, and my knees hurt from kneeling in the porcelain tub, but I’d gladly lose feeling in all of my limbs to hear her lust-filled voice hug the vowels in my name.

  Caden. Oh God, Caden.

  Her using my full name made me feel like a fucking king.

  Swiping the water from my eyes, I stood. I paused to kiss each nipple and then her mouth. She opened for me, pushing my wet hair away from my forehead. She was leaning against the back of her shower, ass pressed to the wall, eyes half-mast. Mascara was smudged beneath her eyes. I swiped the black away with my thumbs and smiled.

  Damn. Hot.

  “I bet I’m a mess.” She swiped the hollows of her eyes.

  “You look good enough to eat. But I already did that.”

  She kissed the smile off my face.

  Done with our shower, we stepped out. I scrubbed a towel over my head and body in record time. She wrapped a towel around her hair in that fancy way girls do, and then propped her foot on the toilet seat to dry her leg. She put that foot on the floor, then dried her other leg and straightened to dry her stomach and then both arms.

  It was a show I could watch all day.

  “I can’t get enough of you,” I said.

  “Really?” She sounded surprised.

  So was I. I hadn’t meant to say that aloud.

  “Yeah.” I cleared my throat.

  “You’re not bored with me yet?”

  Her sincerity cut me. I knew where that worry came from, and I didn’t like it.

  “No.” I rested my palms over the towel hiding her body.

  “You dated a lot before me, Cade,” she said, pointing out a time in my life I wasn’t proud of. I’d been angry with Brooke and, yes, I’d slept around. Those girls hadn’t meant much to me, but I hadn’t meant much to them either.

  “Brooke and I started dating when we were fifteen,” I said, not wanting to talk about any of it. But I figured if Tasha and I had a prayer of staying together, I’d have to own up to my past. “After high school came college. We were gonna get married. She was it for me.”

  Tasha winced. I pulled her closer.

  “She left and I decided to forget her.”

  “Did it work?” she whispered, pulling the towel off her hair.

  “Not at first.” I pushed some of her blond hair away from her face. So beautiful. “Not until you. I can’t remember anyone before you. And I don’t want to.”

  Sympathy leaked into her expression. “Cade.”

  I gave her a soft kiss she returned. Then I told her what I’d come here to share.

  “I’m not going back to school, and I have you to thank.”

  Her brows knit in confusion.

  “I’m going to work with cars. Maybe open my own garage someday.” It wasn’t much to offer the woman standing in front of me, but I knew she didn’t care about money. She’d given up her fancy car to her father without much of a fight. She hadn’t mentioned it since.

  “I
f it wasn’t for Brooke, that’s the path I’d be on. The wrong one.” I tipped her chin. “The accident led me to the right one.”

  Halfway to kissing her, she pushed my chest. “But school…”

  I shook my head. “It’s not for me.”

  Rather than kiss me, or tell me she was happy for me, she continued to hold me at arm’s length with her hand in the center of my naked chest. Her expression was stern, if not pitying. Like I was a baby bird that had tumbled from the nest and was now peeping for help from a nearby bush.

  “You are great with cars,” she said, her tone bordering patronizing. “It’s healthy to have a hobby.”

  My thundering heartbeat caused the blood slosh against my eardrums. I only heard snatches of what she said next. Shallow platitudes like “don’t want you to give up on yourself” and “make something of your life” and the worst one: “never stop chasing your dreams.”

  When she finished with “lawyers make great money,” my stomach soured like I’d been punched in the kidney. I blinked her into focus, more alarmed than before. I’d been so sure I knew her, so sure she was nothing like Brooke. I was wrong.

  Tasha Montgomery didn’t want to live a blue-collar life with a blue-collar paycheck. Tony Fry’s family had connections with the NFL. She and Tony had probably had a future planned that reeked of cash.

  She was still talking when I interrupted.

  “When I approached you at the frat party, do you know what I was trying to do?”

  I watched as she recalibrated, likely puzzling out how we’d gone from my dropping out of college to this.

  “I was trying to get in your pants,” I said. “I knew Tony was a player—everyone did. Except for you, apparently.”

  Anger darkened her brow. I didn’t care. I was so pissed off by her reaction and her trying to talk me into doing what I didn’t want to do, I just kept talking. And what I said next was ugly, but it felt damn good. It made me feel in control of my own life. My own future.

  “I figured you were an easy lay.”

  “Cade.” It was a warning shot I ignored.

  “I was going to take you home, fuck you, and sneak out of your dorm room the second you fell asleep. You rich girls are the same. You like to sleep with the tattooed guys. You settle down with the wealthy ones.”

  My words had picked up speed. My voice was steady, strong. A strange sense of power poured over me. I was back.

  No hesitation lingered at the base of my throat. It was like my speech problems had become my own personal lie detector. When I knew what I was saying was true, the words came out smoothly. Just like my next ones did.

  “I thought I knew you. I thought you were different. You’re not. You’re the same money-hungry chick who wanted a few good fucks before you scraped me off for good.”

  Her hand cracked across my cheek, stunning me so much that all I did was stand there and blink. I ignored the sting on my face but didn’t spare her a murderous glare.

  Fat tears rolled down her cheeks, but I steeled my heart against them. A sliver of doubt oozed in, one that questioned if I’d made a terrible mistake. I ignored it and walled up, knowing I couldn’t afford to backslide again.

  “You are a coward.” She poked me in the chest. “You’re not going to be a lawyer because you’re scared shitless you’ll walk into a courtroom and choke.”

  I loomed over her, grinding my teeth into dust. She was wrong. I wasn’t afraid. Not anymore. My nose was almost touching hers, but she wasn’t the least bit intimidated by me.

  “I thought we connected,” she said, some of the fury leaving her eyes.

  “We did. Then you found out I wanted to be a mechanic and that wasn’t good enough for you. I’ll never be good enough for you.”

  I waited for her to say I was wrong.

  I prayed I was wrong.

  Tasha

  “Get out.”

  I’d heard enough. I couldn’t believe how far south this evening had gone. When Cade arrived tonight, we’d kissed our way through the kitchen, down the hall, and then tumbled into bed. We made love with me on top, and after, we talked and laughed and kissed. By the time we moved to the shower, I had the rest of the evening planned. We’d go to bed naked, watch a movie, snuggle, and sleep in late tomorrow.

  I hadn’t expected him to drop a bomb on me about not going back to school. And then that bullshit about me not caring about him because of money. What was cutting me to the core was that I thought tonight would be the night he made a different proclamation. I wasn’t so naïve that I expected an I love you, but if he’d asked me to be his girlfriend I would’ve said yes.

  “Goodbye, Tasha.” He left the bathroom, stripping off his towel on the way. He dressed, not bothering to dry the water from his back. He muttered something about how he should have known. The words I’d smothered came rolling out of my mouth, uncensored.

  “You know what? You should have known.” Clutching my towel to my naked body, I followed him into the bedroom. “I require the best. If my man can’t buy me a fancy car and lavish me in diamonds and faux fur stoles, what good is he?”

  Cade paused to glare at me as he tugged on his socks.

  “In fact, unless there is a mansion in my future, I have no use for you.”

  “Oh, but you did use me, kitten,” he said, turning the nickname against me. “You liked when I was struggling. You liked seeing me weak. You had sex with me only because you felt so damn sorry for me you couldn’t help yourself.”

  “You are so full of shit.” I rushed over to him.

  “Do not hit me again, Tasha.”

  The shuttered quality of his eyes reminded me of when I’d first started going to his house to work with him. Back when he’d been snarling like a wounded animal backed into a corner.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “No need to lose sleep over it. I’m fixed. Your job is finished.” He yanked his shirt over his head. “And so are we.”

  I followed him through the kitchen, refusing to let the night end so badly. He’d been unfair, but I was willing to hear him out. “Wait.”

  At the front door, he shot me a smile that reminded me of the old him. It had a cruel bend to it. Then that silver tongue flicked out and sliced into me again. “And hey, now that my tongue works, I can go put it between another girl’s thighs. One who lets me be myself. See ya, Tash.”

  I stared at the closed front door trying to reconcile what had happened. I wasn’t chasing him, not after he’d been both mean and unfair. I’d let Tony walk all over me, even after he showed me who he was. I ignored his flaws—and there were plenty. Cade had just revealed his. He’d walked out on me, and in the long run had saved me a lot of heartache.

  That’s what I’d keep telling myself until I believed it.

  Cade

  I drove home, tunnel vision caused by white-hot rage. I didn’t know where else to go, or what I’d do when I arrived. Maybe I’d pack a bag and leave for…somewhere. I didn’t know where. Somewhere away from Ridgeway. I wasn’t far enough away from Tasha yet.

  That tunnel vision widened by the time I turned into the driveway, which was probably why I noticed the silver Honda parked at the curb. It was unassuming, plain, and belonged to Joyce Wilson.

  I stared at her car for a few beats. It was close to one o’clock in the morning. There was no reason for my mom to be here. Unless…

  No. No way.

  Rather than retreat to my room, I walked from the garage to the main house.

  “Dad?” I called, hesitantly adding, “Mom?”

  It’d been a year and a half since I’d greeted them in the same sentence. It was weird.

  Hushed whispers came from the inky darkness of the living room. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but if he’d made her cry I was going to kick his ass. I had some leftover rage to burn off. What the hell.

  I flipped on the kitchen lights.

  “Are you okay, Mo—” The words froze in my throat as I sl
ammed my eyes shut. “Oh my God.”

  Somehow I needed to erase what I’d just seen: my mom frantically tucking her shirt into her jeans and Dad buttoning his pants.

  No. No.

  No, no, no.

  There wasn’t enough brain bleach in the world to erase that image.

  “Cade!” Dad’s voice. “I, uh, we thought you were with Tasha.”

  “Hi, honey.” My mom’s voice shook. I tried to convince myself it was because she was nervous to see me.

  “I just wanted to say hi.” Blindly, I backed out of the kitchen and toward the blessed exit behind me.

  “Caden, wait,” she said. “We were, um, we really were talking.”

  “Nope. Nope,” I muttered, feeling behind me for the doorknob and hoping I was close.

  “Caden, honey,” Mom said. “I’d really like to talk to you. If you can forget what you saw, we could sit down now?”

  I opened my eyes, my heart lurching. I missed her. So damn much. “I might never forget it,” I announced glumly and my parents smiled broadly. With a sigh, I gave in. “We can talk now.”

  Dad grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a long drink. Then he handed it to Mom and she took a demure sip. They locked eyes. Shared a secret smile. It was so much like the old them, I didn’t know what to think.

  A childlike hope that my family could be whole again pressed against the confines of my chest. Were they going to tell me they were getting back together? Did I want them to? Dad handed me my own bottle of water and I accepted it, watching them warily. “What’s going on?”

  “Well,” Joyce started, her smile tentative now. “Your father called to tell me you’re not going back to college…”

  Oh, hell no. I wasn’t doing this again. I put my hands on the table and pushed myself to standing.

  “Sit down, Cade,” Dad said. “She agrees with you. Hear her out.”

  Slowly, I lowered myself back into my seat. “You agree with me?”