Right Kind of Mistake

by Rebecca Thomas

  “I put you on the spot at The Loon. I shouldn’t have done that.” He forked his fingers through his cropped hair. “I didn’t think things through. That’s why tonight I want to keep things real casual. Just go to the ice park.”

  This was a huge surprise, but the weight on my shoulders lightened a fraction. “I was wondering why you didn’t want to feed me.”

  His eyes widened. “You wanted to go out to eat? I’m sorry. We can.”

  “I’m just kidding. I already ate. No apologizing, okay?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m good with casual.”

  He swallowed and I watched his Adam’s apple move up and down his throat. I never considered that he might be nervous, too. Somehow, I already felt better. My stomach wasn’t in quite so many knots. “But you know, if you hadn’t gone to all the trouble of singing me a song, I would have never known what an amazing voice you have. How could I have not known this about you?”

  “I don’t tell people. Well, unless they hear me singing in the shower. Hence the Choir Boy nickname.”

  “Shouldn’t you be a music major, or something?” I strode to my closet to retrieve my coat.

  “Or something. I’m really struggling in my math class. Maybe I should have considered music.”

  “Why didn’t you?” I shrugged my coat on and retrieved my purse.

  “You can’t make any money in music,” he said, matter-of-factly.

  “I’ve been hearing that my whole life about my art and creative writing.”

  “I don’t know about the art and creative writing world, but I watched my parents struggle to make ends meet. I don’t want to be like that.”

  “You have a point.” Both my parents had good jobs, so I didn’t come from the same perspective as Cam. “Should we get going? I heard it’s supposed to get colder.”

  “Yeah, we should. You have plenty of layers on?”

  “I do.”

  It was dark at the ice park except for the lights shining on the ice sculptures. Most of the ice carvings weren’t complete yet. They still had another week before the judging began.

  I looped my arm through Cam’s. We walked through the park with the snow crunching beneath our feet. I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of the room I had booked. My clichéd nightcap line didn’t feel right. I remembered his mention of struggling with a class and I hadn’t even asked about it. “What class did you say you were struggling with?”

  “Business math. But I’ll be fine. I have a tutor.”

  “I might be able to help you,” I offered.

  “It’s okay. They always have tutors available for the team.”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right.” I knew this from Tyler, of course.

  “I have to keep my GPA above a 2.0 or I could lose my scholarship.”

  “Are you in danger of going below 2.0?”

  “No.”

  I hoped that was true. “Just remember if you need help, to let me know.”

  “I’m good. I just need to make sure I keep my priorities straight.”

  “What do you mean by that exactly?”

  “I need to make sure I keep after my studies. Not let myself fall behind. It’s always hard during hockey season when we travel.”

  “Yeah, sure.” So when he mentioned priorities he meant school and hockey. That was good. “You’ve got a lot going on.”

  Cam stopped abruptly. “Haylie, I’ll never be too busy or have so much going on that I don’t have time for you.”

  I stared up into his eyes. His face was mostly covered in darkness. The strobe lights pointed at the partially carved blocks of ice behind him, giving him an almost angelic look. I knew I couldn’t offer up any clichéd lines, but I simply had to speak plainly and straight from my heart. Cam deserved that. “No. I don’t doubt that. I’m just really worried that we don’t want the same thing.”

  “I’m worried about that too,” he said in a serious tone.

  “You are?” He was?

  “Yes. I pushed for too much. I should’ve known you weren’t ready for anything serious. I wasn’t thinking. So we’ll take things slow, if that’s okay with you.”

  “Well…what does that mean exactly? Taking things slow.” Did slow mean we’d only take walks in ice parks?

  “I thought we’d go out like this every once in a while. However often you’d like.” He grasped my hand in his and walked toward another row of ice sculptures.

  My feet were getting really cold and I needed to ask Cam more questions, so we were on the same page. “Can we go inside? My feet are cold.”

  “Sure, there’s a warm up building just ahead.”

  I stopped and decided to just be honest since there was no point in delaying any longer. “I was actually thinking of going to my hotel room.”

  “Hotel room?” He sounded surprised.

  “Yes, I was hoping you’d stay the night with me.” I was incredibly self-conscious, but I had to be up front with him. “You know – have a sleep over.”

  I tried to be funny, but he wasn’t laughing.

  “Haylie, I thought we just decided to take things slow.”

  “No, you said that,” I replied too quickly.

  “But, you aren’t ready –”

  “I’m not ready to be someone’s girlfriend, you’re right about that. But I don’t want to be a nun either.”

  Silence. I willed him to say something. So much for me being a seductress. Apparently I needed a little help in the seducing department. Maybe I should have practiced what I was going to say with Elle. Blurting out that I didn’t want to be a nun probably wasn’t the best way to seduce someone.

  Cam cleared his throat. “So, what exactly are you saying?”

  “I guess for a lack of a better, more polite way of saying it – I want to have sex with you, Cam.”

  He stepped back and coughed.

  “I’ve shocked you so much, I made you choke. Nice.” I nodded my head. “Subtle I am not.”

  Cam laughed. “You just surprised me, is all. I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “No. I’m sure you weren’t. Listen, my feet really are cold. Can we continue with this conversation in the hotel?”

  “Uh, sure.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and steered me toward the parking lot.

  Maybe I wasn’t the seductress Elle was capable of being, but I got the job done. Or at least I hope I got the job done. I had a feeling this conversation might take longer than I’d planned.

  The hotel was only five minutes from the ice park. We didn’t even speak. I didn’t know what to say. I was half afraid I’d make him choke again.

  He put his truck in park and turned the key to off. “Did you already check in?”

  “Yeah, I figured even if you didn’t want to come, I’d rent a bunch of movies and enjoy the Jacuzzi tub. Elle came with me earlier. It was actually her idea.”

  He shook his head and gave me a quick sideways glance. “So this is all Elle’s doing? You don’t really want to share a hotel room with me.”

  “No, no. I just hadn’t thought of booking a hotel room, until Elle suggested it. The having sex part is all my idea.” Despite the truck’s cool air, I suddenly felt hot. I didn’t ever remember a time when I was this forward with Tyler. I guess a new me really had started to emerge.

  “Haylie.” He tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling of his truck. “You are killing me. You know that, don’t you?”

  I recalled when he said I was killing him before. Before, when he was in my dorm room. I wanted to do a lot more of that, if I had any say in this. “Yes, I know, so you’ve said before.”

  “A guy would be crazy not to jump you,” he said simply.

  A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. A jittery nervous feeling wound its way around my heart. “I’m giving you an embossed invitation to jump me.”

  He turned to look at me and said in a flat tone, “I think I need a drink.”

  “There’s a bar in the hotel.”
I smiled and thought of the cheesy line I’d rehearsed. “Should we have a nightcap?”

  He pulled me across the bench seat of his truck and kissed me. The warm air of our breath fogged up the windows. Our bodies entwined in the confined space and I desperately wanted to crawl into his lap, but there was the problem of the steering wheel. “Listen,” I gasped. He continued to kiss me, but I wouldn’t be deterred. “I have a perfectly good room upstairs, with a king-sized bed and a Jacuzzi tub.”

  “Okay, you’re right. Let’s go.” He reached for the door handle behind him and pulled me out of the truck.

  “Are we going to the bar for a drink?” I asked.

  He pulled me along to the front door of the hotel. “Nope. I want you completely sober.”

  A shiver of desire coursed through my belly and into my thighs, making me weak in the knees. I grabbed onto his arm to keep me steady as we walked into the hotel lobby.

  I gave the key card to Cam and he slid it into the door of room 344. A sudden case of nerves overtook me. This was so different than before. I’d had several drinks when we hooked up at The Loon and I had a nice buzz going, but now I had nothing to dull my senses.

  He pushed on the door, holding it open for me to step ahead of him. I hesitated, being the chicken shit that I was, and said, “Maybe a quick drink at the bar would be a good idea.”

  One side of his lips turned up skeptically. “You aren’t backing out on me, are you?”

  “No, of course not.” I wasn’t going to admit I was scared shitless.

  “What happened to the ‘I want to have sex with you’ Haylie of just a few minutes ago?” His tone was light and fun.

  I looked up at him and decided to be blunt. “She’s become a scaredy cat.”

  He laughed. His broad shoulders shook and I already felt more light-hearted. A little less tension laced up my spine. Clearly, I liked to talk as though sex was this casual thing, but I wasn’t sure my body completely agreed with my brain and its brilliant ideas. “Just one beer would help me relax.”

  “Haylie, if you need alcohol to relax, then maybe this isn’t the right thing to be doing.” He raised his brows and I knew he was completely serious.

  Cam was so thoughtful, worrying about doing the right thing, but in this moment, I wasn’t sure what the right thing was.

  “I have wanted you for a long time.” He stood so close, mere inches away, but he didn’t touch me.

  Yes, he had made that clear. He’d watched me from afar, carried a torch for me and that’s what freaked me out. I unzipped my jacket and threw it on the king-sized bed. “But I don’t want you to want me in that way.”

  “What you talking about? You need to speak very simply. I can’t read your mind.” He removed his jacket and paced to the window. Then spun around and faced me again. “What do you want, Haylie?”

  His presence, so close, made me want to jump. My heart thumped so hard, my chest hurt. “I want you to want me for my body…just sex, let’s just keep it to sex.”

  “I thought that was what we had agreed, but then you said you wanted a drink.”

  “I know. To relax me.”

  “And I’m saying if you need alcohol to relax then maybe this isn’t what you really want.”

  I pushed my finger into his chest. “Why can’t you just be like a normal guy?”

  He gripped my fist tightly, lifted it to his mouth and kissed the inside of my wrist. Slowly he grabbed my other wrist and lifted it above my head. Cam’s mouth grazed over my neck, sending tingles across my skin. His body came up against mine and I had no choice but to back up or fall down. I stepped backward and my heel hit the wall, followed by my ass.

  Pressing himself against me, he locked both my hands above my head. “A normal guy. And what is a normal guy to you?”

  Explosions of heat coursed through my body. I breathed shallow. I couldn’t think straight but I think he expected an answer. “A normal guy would jump at the chance to have a friends-with-benefits arrangement.”

  He pinned my wrists with one hand, leaving his other hand free. “Then I’m happy to not be a normal guy.”

  His fingers lightly grazed the side of my breast. My breathing hitched and I searched his face for answers. I said, “You’re not being exactly normal right now.”

  “Probably not.” His minty breath warmed my face.

  “You aren’t going all Fifty Shades of Grey on me, are you?”

  He chuckled. “Hardly.”

  “You do have my arms pinned.” Our breath intermingled. My heart thudded in my ears.

  His fingers outlined the edge of my cheek, like a brush on canvas.

  “I know you like to pin your opponents against the boards, but I’m a friend, not the opposition.”

  “And so you are.” His free hand pulled my blouse from being tucked into my jeans, but he didn’t release my hands.

  “I’m not a hockey player either.” I was supposed to be the seductress here. I was supposed to come up with sexy things to say, but I failed miserably.

  “Nope. Definitely not. You have this body that’s incredibly sexy and completely different from the bodies I crash against the boards.”

  “I would hope so,” I managed to say.

  He traced his finger to the other side of my jaw. “I want to crash into you, but in a completely different way.”

  Now he started to sound like a normal guy. Heat pooled between my legs. If he didn’t touch me soon, I was going to explode. Finally, I’d broken through his good guy exterior. I knew there had to be a bad boy underneath him somewhere. “I’m incredibly turned on right now. Did you know that?”

  “So maybe a little bit of bondage isn’t a bad thing?” His rich voice warmed me even more.

  Yep, most definitely has a bad boy side to him.

  “No, I think not.” I wanted him to quit talking and get on with kissing and touching me. I squirmed, as though I wanted to get away, but clearly I did not.

  “So you aren’t thinking you need a drink at the bar right now, right? Because if you’re still wanting to go there, we can.” His hand slid under my blouse to my breast. His big warm fingers cupped me.

  “No. No, I’m good.” I knew my voice sounded breathy, but I didn’t care since I’d already admitted how turned on I was.

  In one swift movement he released my hands, picked me up, and placed me on the bed. His breathing matched mine, and I was suddenly desperate to see his body and feel every inch of him. He stood beside the bed staring down at me, his expression unreadable. I asked, “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m thinking that I promised myself I’d take things slow this time, but I keep wanting to rip your clothes off instead.”

  A smile creased the corners of my mouth. He was so completely truthful. More than anyone I’d been with. Well, considering Tyler was the only other guy I’d slept with besides Cam that didn’t leave many comparisons, but he was so sincere. He wore his heart on his sleeve in every way that mattered. His teammates looked up to him. His friends admired him. Cam was the complete package and here I was encouraging a “friends with benefits” relationship with him. Had I completely lost my mind?

  My problem was I allowed too much time to think. “Rip my clothes off then.”

  His expression turned dark.

  I reached for the buttons of my blouse and unbuttoned them. “Here, I’ll help you get started.”

  In seconds I was out of my blouse and pulling Cam’s tee shirt free from the waistband of his jeans. His rock-hard abs and sculpted chest took my breath away. Last time only a single lamp lit my dorm room, and the fact that I’d been drinking kept me from appreciating how beautiful his body really was.

  Now everything felt new. I had wanted to hurt Tyler, but now things were different. I wanted Cam. Just him and only him.

  Our jeans quickly hit the floor. We embraced and kissed in a frenzy. Several lamps lit the hotel’s modest room, including the one right beside the bed. Any sense of shyness I might have felt disappeared a
s desire surged inside me. I wasn’t hidden in shadows, I was sober, and I was stripped completely bare.

  My bra and panties were off and I lay naked before Cam. The idea that this was supposed to be only for sex suddenly felt wrong. A fierce sense of possessiveness filled my heart. Nothing would feel right if Cam slept with someone else. I couldn’t keep this to “friends only,” could I? The wall I’d built around my heart began to dissolve, but I was determined to re-build it. I wasn’t ready for a relationship again.

  He kissed my breasts with such tenderness. He sucked on my nipples and my back automatically arched in want. I let my hands explore his chest and biceps. I reached around his back, and felt the hard muscles of his ass.

  Inside the top dresser drawer beside the bed, I had put condoms earlier. I reached for them now and ripped open a package.

  “That was good planning on your part,” Cam said.

  “I was hoping you’d agree to share the room with me.”

  “I can’t resist you, Haylie.” He stared at me with a serious gaze. “I never have. I never will.”

  That possessive feeling I had briefly returned. I pushed it away. This was only sex. Just sex, I reminded myself. I rolled the condom on. I was feeling sexy and brave, so I decided I would be the one controlling the pace. I climbed on top of him, positioned my hands on his chest, and rode him.

  I started at a leisurely pace, but didn’t stay there for long. I initiated the angle I wanted to give me the friction I needed. Cam seemed only too happy to oblige me in my quest. His eyes burned into mine. We rocked against each other, picking up speed and intensity quickly. He slid his hands on my hips, encouraging me to move faster. His breathing sounded as raspy as mine. I dug my nails into his shoulders, and cried out as an orgasm rocked my world.

  I laid my head on his chest and breathed in the scent of him. I felt the thud of his heartbeat against my cheek. I felt content and safe, and let myself be in the moment.

  But it didn’t take long for my mind to wonder about what was next for us. I had to believe I could manage sex, and only sex without all the entanglements of a relationship.