A Winter's Knight

by Fiona Neal

  “Do you deny that you love Alice?” Lord De Winter asked. “I have been in love, and I recognize the signs. Your very gaze gives you away, Sir Edmund.”

  “I have never denied the feeling, although I have never spoken of it. Still, I am a landless knight, and she is a great heiress. I can give her nothing she does not already have.”

  “You will let your pride separate you from a woman you would die to save; the woman you risked your sister’s like to keep alive. Furthermore, you did save her life twice.” Lord De Winter stood and walked to the fire, holding his hands to the bright flames.

  “A man wants to feel useful to his wife, my lord.” Edmund clasped his hands behind his back.

  “You can give her many things she doesn’t have. You can give protection, the love of a good man, the affection of a loving husband, and…children.” Lord De Winter turned to Edmund.

  When Edmund said nothing, Lord De Winter added, “I suppose you never thought about those things.”

  “I did not, my lord. I did contemplate that fact that she was socially very far about me.”

  “Yes, but social standing is not everything. I was married a long time to the most lovely and admirable woman,” Lord De Winter stated. “She was an heiress and had her own wealth, but she told me that material things, while they mattered, were not what she wanted from me. She wanted the love, attention, and devotion that I could offer.”

  “Do you believe Lady Alice thinks that way?” Edmund asked.

  “Yes.” Lord De Winter nodded. “Alice needs the same. She didn’t get much attention from her parents because her mother died when she was quite young. Her father remarried. Of course, he was tolerant, but he was disappointed that she was a girl, even though she could inherit the title. He gave most of his attention to his second wife and younger family, especially the two boys. I think it was for that reason Alice retired to the abbey.”

  “She did enjoy it there, my lord. Make no mistake about that.”

  “Yes, I believe she did, but her duty is here now. Are you willing to be her husband and protect her, or shall I look elsewhere?”

  “I should leap at the chance to be her husband if I had any indication that she had the least bit of affection for me. She has not demonstrated her emotions in the way a woman usually does, my lord.”

  Lord De Winter chuckled. “Yes, a woman can let a man know that she is attracted by a look or a smile, but I do not think Lady Alice knows how to play the courting game.”

  “You are right, my lord. The Lady Alice has never done that.”

  “I believe she has feelings for you, Lord Edmund, but she has always been a quiet, shy woman, though I have seen a flash or two of defiance in her. Her reticence does not mean she is unfeeling. Furthermore, I believe the nuns at the abbey did not encourage her to express her herself. In fact, they did just the opposite. Alice has been scripted to follow a rule of poverty, chastity, and obedience. That leaves little room for expression of sentiments.”

  “That is true. She always seems quite self-contained, even when she was hurt,” Edmund remarked.

  “So…will you agree to be her husband?”

  “Yes, I agree. You are right, my lord. I do love her more than life.”

  “Good.” Lord De Winter smiled. “I observed the you did, Sir Edmund.”

  “But out of all the peers of the realm, why did you choose me, a landless knight?”

  “I chose you because I see a good man, an honorable man, a man who keeps his vows. Even when your sister’s life was at stake, you did not hurt Alice. Instead, you delivered her to me. You have the potential to do great things, Sir Edmund. Most of all, I see a man who loves my granddaughter,” Lord De Winter stated.

  “To you, Lady Alice is not just an heiress who will make your life an easy one. You think she is something more precious than gold. I saw how you lifted and held her when that rogue hurt her. Money can be made, Sir Edmund, but love is something that is not for sale.”

  “I do love her very much, my lord, more than I have ever cared for anyone.”

  “Welcome to the family, Sir Edmund.” Lord De Winter smiled and put his hand on the knight’s shoulder.

  “Thank you, Lord De Winter, for the faith you have in me.”

  “As I said, I think you are destined for great things, Sir Edmund.”

  “So…what is my next moved. Shall I ask the Lady Alice to marry me?”

  “No, I shall inform her of her husband to be, but it would help if you gave her a betrothal ring. I have one here. It was the one I gave her grandmother. I want Alice to have it.”

  Lord De Winter walked to a small chest on the rectangular table and tilted back the lid. He took out a small leather pouch and emptied its contents into the palm of his hand. “Give this ring to Lady Alice. The emerald matches the color of her eyes.”

  Edmund accepted the exceptionally gorgeous ring. Lord De Winter was right. The emerald was the exact color of Lady Alice’s large and beautiful eyes. “Thank you, my lord.”

  But would she accept Edmund as her husband. Possibly, she could very well refuse him. Of course, Lord De Winter could pressure her into marrying him. But Edmund did not want that kind of a match.

  I want her to accept me of her own free will because she cares for me.

  “Changing the subject for a moment, but what do we do about Camden, my lord? ' Sir Edmund inquired. “He knows you are still alive. Stealth has failed him, and so has a murderous attack. He may try something else, and I think murdering me for what he considers betrayal of him will be his next move.”

  “Then I suggest you be on your guard, Sir Edmund,” Lord De Winter advised. “Alice and I need you…alive, and so does young Edith. In fact we need you very much.”

  * * * *

  The next day, as usual, Alice was alone in her hidden chambers. Although she liked solitude, she was getting too much of it these days. She couldn’t go to mass each morning, for no one was supposed to know she was here in the castle. Nor could she go to pray in the chapel late at night for the same reason.

  Well, maybe that was for the best. The last time she went alone, that dark, raining winter night, someone had almost defiled her. Just the grace of God protected her, and she would be forever grateful to the Almighty for that.

  I must stop thinking about that night. God protected me. I must get on with my life.

  Furthermore, she was accustomed to having many tasks, but after her encounter with the man Camden had sent and who assaulted and battered her, her grandfather forbid her to do anything outside her room. Now she could do nothing but read, do needlework, and visit with her grandfather or the noble Sir Edmund if he would come to see her.

  Therefore, when her Lord De Winter came to see her, Alice was thrilled.

  “Grandfather, how good of you to visit.” Alice placed the book on the table, stood, walked to him, and they kissed each other’s cheeks.

  “It is wonderful to see you, too, dearest child,” he said, smiling.

  “But you did not come to speak of that,” Alice said. “I think you wish to tell me something important.”

  “That is correct, Alice. I have chosen Sir Edmund Moreton for your husband.”

  “Sir Edmund…our captain of the guard?” she squeaked out, and her grandfather’s words caused her heart to beat hard against her ribs.

  “Yes, my child, the very same,” Lord De Winter replied.

  “I see,” Alice said, trying mightily to subdue her whirling emotions. She thought highly of the man who refused to murder her, even though it had put his sister in mortal danger. Furthermore, he had rescued her from Camden’s henchman.

  But marriage meant submitting her body to this man in a most intimate way. She was not ready for that.

  God, will I ever be ready for that?

  “My lord, I asked for some time to get used to the idea of marrying. You said I should have it. Now are you reneging on your promise?”

  “Dear lady, I gave that promise before you were almost kille
d to prevent you from testifying against the louts who intended to murder me. I told you that as long as you were a woman without a husband, you would be the prey of some greedy man. You must marry for your own protection.”

  Alice’s heart was beating so fast, she could barely breathe. Marry or die was the ultimatum. That circumstance was not made by her grandfather, but by the harsh realities of life.

  “You are silent. Aren’t you going to ask why I chose Sir Edmund?” he asked.

  “I’m sure you selected him because you think he is a good, honorable man who is capable of protecting me, Grandfather.”

  “Yes, that is true, but there is another reason, Alice. I chose him because he loves you dearly and can protect you.”

  That news changed things somewhat. “Sir Edmund loves me?” Actually, that news astounded her. She also remembered that he said he would never marry. That he had met a woman, but... But what?

  “Oh, yes,” Lord De Winter said and nodded. “I have seen it in the way he looks at you. And he thwarted that attack on us when he could have sent his men. Yet, he and his two friends rushed to our aid. Those swine would have killed me and only heaven knows what they had in store for you. And he risked his sister’s life when he could have easily murdered you by snapping your neck as you slept.”

  “Please, my lord, do not speak of your demise.” Tears filled her eyes, and she put her arms gently around him. “I don’t think I could bear to lose another family member.”

  “I’m sorry, Alice. I don’t believe I could bear it either. Forgive me.”

  “Of course, I shall, my lord.”

  “But getting back to your marriage to Sir Edmund, the man could have killed you to save his sister, but he found a way to preserve both your lives, so he is intelligent and resourceful.”

  “Yes,” she said, “that is true.”

  “Of course, now Camden wants to kill him.”

  Alice gasped. “Why?”

  “Because he did not follow Camden’s order to kill you,” Lord De Winter explained. “Let us sit down, Alice. You need to compose yourself.”

  Alice and he walked to the window and sat in the chairs, and she saw he was affected by his emotions, too.

  After she took a few moments to gather her composure, she said, “But Sir Edmund said he would never marry.”

  “Yes, he is a third son and a landless knight. It would take a quite some time to accumulate wealth enough to approach a woman, even though his is an excellent family.”

  “Yes, my lord,” she replied.

  “Still, I am interested in what you think about the match.”

  “I must confess that I have good feelings for Sir Edmund, but I am not experienced in these things. Furthermore, this was all too soon, my lord.”

  “But do you care for him, Alice?” he asked.

  “Yes, but, my lord, I am… I am afraid I shall disappoint him. I know nothing about, uh…men and the intimate part of marriage.” This was quite true. She knew nothing about such things.

  Alice had never considered it because she had planned to be a nun.

  “You are an innocent young woman. Sir Edmund will help you in that area.”

  “Do you really think so, Grandfather?”

  “Yes, my bride was innocent, too, but we managed to have three sons and four daughters.”

  “Well, that does give me some hope, my lord. I do want to be a good wife because it seems that is what God intends for me.” At least that was how the things seemed to be playing out. “And I don’t want to disappoint the man who saved your life and refused to kill me, even though his sister’s life was in danger. But I need more time, Grandfather.”

  “Listen to me, Alice. We have no time. Sir Edmund Moreton is the best of men. That is why I opted for him.”

  Her heart beat even harder. That was not the answer Alice wanted to hear. Her grandfather did not understand.

  I need more time to prepare myself for marriage.

  “When will the marriage take place? Advent is fast approaching. There is no time to have the banns read. Perhaps after Christmas will be a good time,” she said.

  Oh, God, she needed some months to reconcile herself to the idea being a married woman.

  “I considered that, but time is of the essence. Therefore, I confessed to the bishop, so he cannot reveal anything that is said because of the seal of confession. I asked about that subject, and he has given us a dispensation from the banns being read,” Lord De Winter replied. “I suppose that attack on us resulted in some benefit.”

  “Yes, the reverend mother used to say that some good comes from bad things,” Alice related. Still, she was not convinced. This sudden marriage had come too soon. What could she do?

  “I have found that to be true, Alice. Now you must hurry and plan a wedding outfit,” Lord De Winter said with a broad smile on his handsome face.

  “How can I, my lord? No one is supposed to know that I am here.”

  “I shall let everyone know that you are alive because we need witnesses for the marriage, and it is pointless to keep your presence a secret. Besides, we can’t hide you forever. You need friends and a normal life, Alice. As for Camden, I believe his spies have told him you are alive.”

  “Yes, being alone most of the time is lonely. I had a lot of solitude in the convent, but I did have friends. But when will you announce I am here?” she asked.

  “I shall make the announcement after Sir Edmund visits you.”

  “He is going to visit me?” How her heart was hammering mercilessly.

  “Oh, yes, dear girl. You will see him soon.”

  * * * *

  Alice paced her small clamber. Her grandfather just did not comprehend that she doubted very strongly that she could become a wife—anyone’s wife. She knew it was not her fault that the drunken soldier had tried to disgrace her—but it had affected her most deeply. She greatly feared the act of intimacy she needed to accomplish in order to become a wife and to produce an heir.

  Alice had no idea what would have happened if the man actually raped her. A hard shudder shook her at just the mere thought of that ghastly possibility.

  A knock on her door made her jump, and her heart began its hard, rhythmic drumbeat. There was no escape. She had to let Sir Edmund in.

  Oh, God, please help me!

  Alice struggled for composure and hurried to the door, opened it, and stepped aside so he could come in. “Good day, Sir Edmund,” she said, struggling for control of her nerves.

  “I hope my call does not present an inconvenience for you, Lady Alice.” Sir Edmund entered her chamber and bowed.

  “Not at all, Sir Edmund,” Alice prevaricated. “Will you have a seat by the fire?”

  “I shall in a moment. Uh, has Lord De Winter informed you about the reason for this visit, Lady Alice?”

  He seemed so ill at ease. Her grandfather had said Sir Edmund loved her, but he was behaving in a very formal, stilted manner. She did not know too much about courtship, but she felt it would be more personal than this.

  Furthermore, was her grandfather mistaken in his assumptions that this man loved her? Perhaps Sir Edmund saved her when his sister was in danger because he did not want to violate his sacred vows to protect women. And perhaps he already had a credible plan to deceive Lord Camden.

  Besides, he said he had met a woman, but could not marry her. So...was he in love with someone else? Likely, he was. That thought made her uneasy, even though Alice felt she would have difficulty being intimate with him.

  Sir Edmund was looking at her as if he was expecting her to answer, so she said, “Uh, yes, he has named you as the man he wishes me to wed, Sir Edmund,” she replied. “I have signed the marriage contract.”

  “Yes, I have signed the contract too. I suppose you were…surprised by Lord De Winter’s choice,” Sir Edmund remarked.

  “Yes, but then I considered my grandfather’s decision, and he is quite right. You will be able to defend and protect me.” She tucked her hands inside
the white sleeves of her over tunic and held tight to her wrists. She felt so nervous, so jittery. “Uh, you saved me from death twice. Furthermore, I believe you are a man of honor.”

  “Thank you, my lady.” He bowed again, and he then sat in the chair by the fire.

  Edmund was saying the right things, but Alice wanted him to love her. Politeness was different from love.

  Oh, that was a crazy wish. She could not give this man what he wanted and needed—physical love and an heir. Why should she expect him to love her? That was unfair of her.

  Still, disappointment shot through her like the sharpest of arrows. Sir Edmund was not behaving as if he cared her. He was merely obeying her grandfather.

  Still, her grandfather had said he cared for her. Alice knew one thing about Lord De Winter. He did not lie. Nevertheless, he could be mistaken, couldn't he?

  Perhaps Sir Edmund was a man who guarded his emotions. Most men who were trained as knights were somewhat reticent to display with what they felt.

  Nevertheless, this was not the time to hide his feelings. If he loved her, why didn’t he tell her? Oh, that was a wild thought. She should not be entertaining that subject matter.

  And yet, she did like Sir Edmund. In fact, she liked him quite a lot. She also admired him.

  And they were to be man and wife, after all. That was the closest relationship that existed. Marriage partners became physically joined.

  Furthermore, the idea of a cold, loveless marriage, gave her the shudders.

  “Did I say something wrong, Sir Edmund? You are looking at me as if I disheartened you.”

  “Uh, no, you did not. In view of the circumstances, my lady, I think you should have this.” Edmund reached into his doublet and withdrew a small leather pouch. He took out the emerald ring.

  “Oh, that is a beautiful ring, the most beautiful I have ever seen!” she exclaimed.

  The large size of the gem and the sparkling and lush color of the gem really held her attention. The stone did not have the flaws that were often in an emerald. This stone was clean, bright, and the lovely verdant shade had just the merest hint of blue.

  “But shouldn’t our betrothal be public?” she asked. “I mean that is the custom.”