Witch Cake Murders (Sweetland Witch Women Sleuths) (A Cozy Mystery Book)

by Zoe Arden

  "You said I'm selfish, but you're the one killing people for your own gain."

  "Brendan found the wand in my apartment and got suspicious. What was I supposed to do? I thought when I killed him it would be the perfect opportunity to have Sheriff Knoxx catch you in the act. I called and tipped him off, but then your father showed up."

  "You could have stayed off the island and gotten on with your life," I said. "You didn't need to come back here."

  "How was I supposed to move on when I grew up without a father? After I kill you and your aunts... when the world sees what cold-blooded killers witches are... they'll hunt down you all down. In every part of the world. And I'll lead the charge."

  Slater jabbed the wand toward me and began reciting whatever spell he meant to cast. "Oobleckio—"

  "Slater, please! Don't!"

  My aunts' terrified faces cried out to me as Slater steadied his wand.

  "Mama!" a tiny voice suddenly yelled.

  Slater looked to his left as a streak of white rushed past him. Before either of us had time to blink, Snowball was sailing through the air. She bit down hard on the wand and caught it between her teeth. She landed on her feet and a stunned Slater stood staring at his empty hand.

  Then Snowball scurried out the door and disappeared back into the night she'd come from.

  * * *

  3 7

  * * *

  "What in the...?" Slater screamed. He looked completely baffled by the white streak that had been my familiar.

  Note to self: real tuna for Snowball tonight.

  Slater looked nervously around, as if he were suddenly a lost little boy. I might've felt bad for him if I hadn't known he was a vicious killer.

  He began pulling open drawers and searching for something. Probably another wand. He was mumbling to himself as he did it.

  "Cats, cats, everywhere cats. Talking cats. What kind of world has talking cats in it, anyway?"

  I moved slowly toward my aunts while he remained focused on whatever he was searching for. I didn't want to startle him. The boxie quill was still closer to him than to me. One pinprick was all it would take to kill my aunts. The edge of the stem looked sharp from where I stood. No point taking chances.

  Trixie and Eleanor had stopped struggling against their ropes. I think they had the same idea I did. No sudden movements.

  I was about two feet away when the floor creaked and Slater looked up. It was almost as if he'd forgotten I was here. We looked at each other. Silent. Still. Then we both lunged for the boxie quill at the same time.

  I tried to be careful when reaching for it. I had no idea how fragile the stuff really was. I'd read about it but had no practical experience with it.

  Slater was wearing heavy black gloves. He had less to worry about than I did. He grabbed hold of the stem from its center and used the sharp bottom like a spear, trying to stab me with it. I jumped back and Slater took a step forward, jerking swiftly toward me.

  "Stay back or I'll hex you," I yelled at him.

  He laughed. "Polly's already told me you don't know any magic."

  "Oh, yeah? Then why are you trying to kill me? I thought you were afraid I was some big bad powerful witch."

  "No. I was afraid that you might grow into a big bad powerful witch." He flung my words back at me, mocking me.

  In the back of the store, Tootsie had managed to slip his paws out from whatever Slater had used to tie him up with. He was working on freeing Rocky now, too. I tried to distract Slater.

  "I think you're just mad you weren't born magical like me," I said. Two could play at this mocking game.

  "You're mad."

  "And you're a serial killer."

  Behind Slater, Rocky was running toward us. He jumped on Slater's back and knocked him to the ground.

  "Rocky does not like you," he growled at Slater as he stood on top of his back. Slater was rocking his body back and forth, trying to fling Rocky off him. I ran to help Tootsie, who was attempting to cut the ropes binding Trixie with his claws.

  "Oh, thank the witches," Trixie and Eleanor said when I'd pulled the tape off their mouths. It made a nasty ripping sound that made me cringe.

  "Get off me, you mangy mutt!" Slater yelled.

  "Rocky is not a mutt. Rocky is a wolfhound."

  I couldn't help laughing. I finished untying Eleanor, and Tootsie was nearly done freeing Trixie. Eleanor ran to a cabinet and pulled something from it.

  "Ava, take my wand." She threw it to me and I reached up to catch it... just as Slater managed to get out from under Rocky's weight. He was a shade faster than me and had the wand in his hand before I could blink.

  "Now then," he said. "That evens things out again. Doesn't it?"

  Eleanor's face went white. I didn't see the boxie quill in Slater's hand anymore and figured he must have dropped it. At least that was one less thing to worry about for the moment.

  "Hold it right there!" a new voice shouted. I turned and saw Detective Hudson run into the room. For once, I was happy to see him.

  * * *

  3 8

  * * *

  "Thank the witches you're here." I smiled, relief flooding me.

  "Hands up where I can see them, Fortune," Detective Hudson yelled, pointing a gun at me.

  Only I realized it wasn't exactly a gun. It was more like a short, thick metal wand. He'd pulled it from his holster and was brandishing at me like a missile.

  "Me?" I shouted. "Are you crazy? Slater's the killer!"

  "Slater is a human!" Detective Hudson said as if no human had ever committed murder before.

  "So what? He killed all those people because he wanted to frame me. He thought if he did he could start some kind of war between the witches and humans."

  "Hands up!" Detective Hudson repeated, ignoring everything I'd just said.

  Sheriff Knoxx was listening, though. And he was looking behind me. At Slater.

  "Detective," Sheriff Knoxx said. "I think we'd better listen. I know Ava's a touch irritating, but she might be making sense."

  "Why are you even here?" Detective Hudson asked him. "You passed on the information Sheriff Maxwell gave you when he called. I told you to stay at the station. You're leaving in the morning. There's no use for you here."

  While Detective Hudson was busy yelling at Sheriff Knox, Slater had begun pointing his new wand around the room. He stopped on Eleanor. I could read in his eyes what he was thinking. That it would be so fitting to kill Eleanor with her own wand.

  Sheriff Knoxx must have caught the same look I did. Because he was already rushing toward Eleanor before Slater had even uttered the spell.

  "Sectum piazalo!" Slater yelled.

  A bright spasm of energy shot out of the wand. The force sent Slater flying backward.

  "Eleanor!" Trixie and I cried.

  Sheriff Knoxx got to her a second before the stream of energy hit. Instead of getting Eleanor full in the chest, it got Sheriff Knoxx in the back. He let out one loud roar before he fell to the ground, silent.

  "Oh no!" Eleanor cried, crouching down next to him. "Sheriff Knoxx! Sheriff!" She was shaking him frantically. "Zane! Please don't die."

  She looked tearfully at Trixie. "He just saved my life."

  The incident finally seemed to have stirred some sense into Detective Hudson. Although I sensed it caused him physical pain to do so, he moved the gun-wand-thing he'd been pointing at me to Slater instead.

  "Hold it right there," Detective Hudson said.

  Unlike Detective Hudson, Slater did not hesitate.

  "Oobleck oogaloo!" Slater yelled.

  I ducked out of the way as a new flash of light went flying toward the detective. My hands smashed into the floor, and I felt something sting me. Before it could register, though, Detective Hudson began to do possibly the last thing anyone would have least expected. He began to sing.

  "I'm a little teapot, short and stout."

  "What in witch's name is he doing?" Trixie cried.

  "Here i
s my handle, here is my spout."

  "I think Slater's spell backfired," Eleanor said. She was cradling Sheriff Knoxx's head in her lap.

  "When I get all steamed up, hear me shout."

  I watched, fascinated, as Detective Hudson placed one hand on his hip, a big smile on his face, and bent to his side.

  "Tip me over and pour me out."

  When he was finished with his song, Detective Hudson just stood there. Frozen like a statue. None of us moved. Even Slater was so dumbfounded by what had just happened he stood staring at his wand. Eleanor's wand.

  "That's why humans can't use wands," Eleanor said. "The magic never comes out right."

  Slater seemed to remember the situation he was in. He looked at the three of us, realizing he had to make a choice. Now that Trixie and Eleanor were free, there was no way he was going to be able to kill all of us.

  Rocky stood in front of Eleanor, protecting her. Tootsie sat protectively by Trixie. I was the only one completely open. So he picked me.

  "Oobleck liantus!" he cried, using a similar spell to the one he'd used on Detective Hudson.

  Before the spell could hit me, though, Trixie and Eleanor both yelled, "Crantium expecto!" A third voice, much deeper and even more familiar, joined them. I looked up to see my father.

  "Dad!" I cried, happy he'd gotten out of Whisper Crossing. Maybe Lucy was with him.

  Together, my dad, Eleanor, and Trixie stopped Slater's spell in midflight. They reversed it, sending it right back to him.

  I watched as Slater froze. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see him die. When I opened them again, Slater was slumped over on the floor. His legs and arms had grown... branches. He looked like some kind of half-man half-tree that had fallen over. He wasn't moving.

  "Is he...?"

  "No," my dad said. "At least, I don't think so. I've never actually seen anything quite like this before."

  We were all silent, watching fascinated as the new tree creature before us started to sprout leaves.

  "I think Sheriff Knoxx needs a doctor," Eleanor said, returning to the place on the floor where she'd left him. She stroked his hair, looking at him with the affection of someone who knows they owe their life to someone else.

  My dad hugged me. I was glad he was okay. My head began to ache. I pulled away from him and wiped some hair from my eyes.

  "Ava, you're bleeding," he said, concern in his voice.

  "I am?" I looked at my hands because they were already right in front of me. What I saw made my heart stop.

  A single pearl of white stuck to my forefinger. I took a deep breath and looked at my father, who had gone five shades of white.

  "I'm okay," I told him, gently pulling it off my skin. The shell had cracked open and the tiny seed that was inside dug into my skin, leaving a needlepoint of blood.

  My aunts gasped.

  "I'm okay," I told them again, not wanting to cause any more worry. "Really. I'm fi..."

  Instead of going black, the world went pink. Then red. Then brown. It stayed there, unmoving, as the voices of my family swirled around me. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was a soft, tiny voice and a vision of white running toward me.

  "Snowball will protect Mama. Always!"

  And then I was asleep.

  * * *

  3 9

  * * *

  Something soft and sandpapery was licking my face. It smelled like fish. I opened one eye and saw a white fur ball staring at me with pretty green eyes.

  "Mama is awake," Snowball announced.

  A half dozen faces were suddenly at my side. My tiny hospital room didn't seem big enough to hold everyone.

  There were cries of "Ava!" and "She's all right!" and "Thank the witches!"

  Snowball purred loudly as she curled up next to me. "Snowball loves Mama."

  "Snowball saved your life," a woman's voice said. I looked to see Lucy trying to squeeze between my aunts.

  "Lucy!" I cried, happy to see her.

  "First of all, your new familiar is a genius. While these ghouls were all panicking because of a little boxie quill, Snowball got the cacti airium and solved the problem."

  My eyes widened. Snowball purred even more loudly. I stroked her under her chin.

  "Cacti airium works against boxie quill?" I asked.

  "Only if you use it fast enough," Eleanor said.

  "And only if there's only a very small amount of boxie in your system."

  "Which there was," Eleanor said.

  My father stood beside me, squeezing the hand I wasn't using to pet Snowy.

  "I only know that because that's what your aunts told me," Lucy said. "Which brings me to my second point. I wasn't there. Why wasn't I there? Because someone stole my car and left me stranded.

  "Oh, Luce, I'm sorry," I said. "Detective Hudson was chasing me and—"

  I gasped, remembering what had happened. "Detective Hudson! What happened to him?"

  "He's fine. A little gruffer than usual," Aunt Trixie said, "which is saying a lot actually. Since he was always rather gruff."

  "So he doesn't think he's a teapot anymore?"

  "No. Just a lackluster detective. He was summoned back to the Council on Magic and Human Affairs. Which he wasn't too happy about."

  It sounded like I'd missed a lot, which made me wonder, "How long have I been in here?"

  "Three days," Trixie and Lucy said together.

  Three days? I'd been in Sweetland Hospital for three days? Wow.

  "How do you feel?" Eleanor asked.

  I shrugged. Snowball rolled onto his tummy, looking exceptionally cute, and I scratched his belly for him.

  "Okay, I think. My head feels a little foggy, but I guess that's probably normal, right?"

  "After a dose of boxie quill poisoning?" Eleanor asked. "Absolutely."

  "Oh, my roses. Sheriff Knoxx! Is he..." The last time I'd seen the sheriff, he'd jumped in front of my Aunt Eleanor, saving her life. He hadn't moved once since Slater hit him with his wand.

  The door to my room opened as if on cue and Sheriff Knoxx stepped inside. He was wearing a tan fedora—the kind Humphrey Bogart would have worn in some old-timey detective movie. I thought that it looked quite nice on him, actually. It somehow seemed to fit his face.

  "Well, hey there," he said, looking at me. "Look who's awake." He removed his hat and made his way to my bedside. "Just thought I'd check in on our patient."

  "You're wearing the hat," Eleanor said, sounding pleased. Her cheeks were red.

  "Of course I am," Sheriff Knoxx said. "It was only the nicest gift anyone's ever given me. Why wouldn't I wear it?"

  Eleanor's blush deepened, and I got the feeling the hat was from her.

  "Sheriff Knoxx," I said. "I'm so glad to see you. Are you okay?"

  "I'm just fine," he said. "Thanks to Dr. Dunne."

  "I was worried Slater killed you."

  The sheriff was shaking his head. "Nope. No such luck for that boy. He may have been better off if he had killed me, though. I've already told the Council on Magic and Human Affairs that I'd do whatever it takes to keep Slater locked up for life. He's due for a transfer there this afternoon. And just so you know, Detective Hudson will not be handling the case."

  "So Slater won't be tried in human court?" I inquired.

  "No. Only because he used magic to kill. That wand of his—"

  "You mean the wand I lost," I said sullenly.

  "Yes, but that's irrelevant now. Slater could have gotten a wand at any time from Polly. He specifically wanted your wand because he thought he could use it to frame you. That when I finally got my hands on it and ran my wandistics reports, it would prove you as the murderer."

  "Slater was crazy," I said.

  "Slater was right, I'm afraid.”

  My jaw dropped so far down it almost smacked Snowball on the head.

  "I'm ashamed to admit it, Ava, but I really thought you were the killer for a while." His cheeks reddened. I'd never seen him look so... embarrassed.<
br />
  "Well, if it helps, I rather thought you might be the killer for a while too," I said.

  He looked up, his eyes wide and curious. Eleanor and Trixie laughed. Lucy just stood there, playing with Snowy. Lucy was using her hand to try and capture Snowball's nose. Snowy playfully attacked her hand, only for Lucy to try again.

  "You thought I was the killer?" Sheriff Knoxx asked stunned.

  "I wasn't sure."

  "What on Heavenly Haven would make you think that?"

  "It was that chocolate cake. The one my secret admirer sent. I saw you with it that day at the sheriff's station and when I asked Dr. Dunne about it, he said he'd never tested it."

  Sheriff Knoxx's face was turning a bright pink. I hated to embarrass him after he'd saved Eleanor's life, but I had to know what was up with that cake.

  "Why didn't you ever have that cake tested?" I asked him.

  "Because," he mumbled. He let out a heavy sigh and stared at the floor. "I already knew that cake hadn't been poisoned."

  "How could you know that?" I asked.

  "Because I sent it."

  I couldn't hide my shock. "You?!"

  "I didn't mean for you to get it. I just forgot to put a name on it, is all. It was supposed to be..." the blush in his cheeks spread out, making his whole head look like a cherry "...for your Aunt Eleanor."

  I turned to Eleanor, stunned. She looked just as equally stunned so I imagined this was the first time she was hearing about this. Trixie was grinning ear to ear.

  "Sorry," Sheriff Knoxx said. He couldn't unstick his eyes from the floor.

  "There's nothing to be sorry for," I told him.

  "That's right," Eleanor said, finding her voice. The color in her own cheeks had deepened. "It... it was a very lovely thought."

  Sheriff Knoxx dared a glance at her.

  The door opened again and Dr. Dunne came walking in. "I see our patient is awake. Okay, out of the room. You've seen that she's alive and well, now she needs her rest."

  "But she only just woke up," Lucy complained. "I have so much more to tell her. Like how that toad bottom Polly has been stripped of her powers forever."

  "You can do that?" my eyes widened.