The Tribute
Page 36
But their incidence does not seem to be diminishing, so the people who are perpetrating the various forms of domestic asymmetrical warfare haven’t yet got the message – which is, to be clear: it isn’t fucking on, and you need to fucking stop. The coercive control, the gaslighting, the financial abuse, the social isolation, the negging, the disrespect, the intimidation, the marital rape, the non-marital rape, the beatings, the murders: it has to end now, and end for good.
While there are certainly adult male victims of intimate partner violence, we all know that the overwhelming majority of perpetrators are men. Although nearly all the anti-DV advocates are women, this is men’s business, fundamentally, because we are the ones responsible. With vanishingly few exceptions, we are the abusers, we are the attackers, we are the rapists, we are the murderers. This epidemic won’t stop until men stop it. That’s up to us, not our victims.
And yes I mean we, us, our. I’ve never raised a hand in my life, but I’m in this too. All men have to be part of sorting this out, because this is about the licence we extend to one another, the expectations we set, the standards we accept. It comes through in the chat, the banter, the jokes and the anecdotes. The silences that may well stem from discomfort or disapproval, but that are read as permission, even encouragement.
A significant contributor to the problem is the stories that men tell ourselves and each other about ourselves and each other: stories that excuse bad behavior; that deny its possibility even when it is going on right under our noses; that shrug and turn away; that weigh abuse and predation against professional success and popularity; that enable a culture of impunity that in turn permits and facilitates the abuse, the control, the violence.
So I wrote this novel to explore the mythology about the top blokes, about the tough-but-fair, hardworking salt-of-the-earth types, about the family men next door and the pillars of the community who everyone swears would never abuse their partners, not in a million years. Like fuck they wouldn’t. I spent eight years in a boys’ school and several more working in our federal parliament; I know perfectly well what those men are capable of, especially the ones who slide right into the skin of confident, entitled adult masculinity. I wanted to contribute a counter-narrative from a male writer that exposed from the inside the utter bullshit from which this behavior takes its nourishment. Fuck those men and fuck their omertà. It’s beyond time to blow the lid off this.
Because the moment our country is in right now is an opportunity for men to recast their relationship with power and control, and to commit to carrying themselves with dignity and genuine self-respect. Not the risible swagger of the macho poseur, but the calm, centred poise of the man in possession of himself. Anyone can dominate someone physically weaker than themselves, anyone can be mean, and anyone can succumb to their anger: that’s easy. The tougher work is to control your own behavioural response. That’s where self-respect comes from, and the respect of others.
If you need help learning to take control of yourself, make that phone call. You’re not alone, and asking for help is an expression of strength. The only shame comes from the weakness of submission and self-indulgence.
Master that, and you’ll know how good it feels to treat her right. Yeah, even on her bad days. Even on your bad days. Especially on your bad days.
Be safe out there, people, and be kind to one another and to yourselves. Life can be hard enough and short enough as it is.
1800 RESPECT National helpline 1800 737 732
Lifeline 13 11 14
Men’s Referral Service 1300 766 491
Mensline 1300 78 99 78
Acknowledgements
This has been a long time coming. Thank you for support, encouragement, advice and inspiration, over many years and in ways you don’t even know: Alister Air, John Aldhouse, Deborah Anton, Georgina Arnott, Kathy Bail, Amanda Barbosa, Angela Barney-Leitch, Christine Barnicoat, Emma Barron, Fiona Bastian, Becky Batagol, Rosie Batty, Amanda Bell, Dave Bloustien, John Birmingham, Jan Borny, James Bradley, Rosi Braidotti, David Bromley, David Brooks, Dani Brown, Joe Burke, Andrew Burns, Charlie Burton, Erin Byron, Gary Byron, Josh Byron, Lachlan Byron, Mark Byron, Michael Byron, Paul Byron, Kim Carr, Cath Carroll, Ian Chubb, Ruth Clare, Tom Clark, Sharon Clews, Peter Coaldrake, Taasha Coates, Clare Corbould, Kay Cox, Nicole Cox, Ravi de Costa, Sabina Curatolo, Glyn Davis, Tori Dixon-Whittle, Susan Dodds, Rebecca DuField, Robyn Dunne, Sean Dunne, Orianne Dutka, Monique Earsman, Kate Eltham, Hilary Emmett, Alison Faulknor, Emily Forrest, Kate Fullagar, Pat Gallagher, Peter Garrett, Andrew Gately, Malcolm Gillies, Nicole Gilroy, Kári Gíslason, Dawn Godbee, Meg Gulbin, Harry Gupta, Julie Hare, Margaret Harris, Michael Heyward, Amanda Hinkley, Freya Hohnen, Peter Høj, Nathan Hollier, Stephanie Holmquest, Claire Hooker, Sue Hosking, Ellie Hughes, Sheena Ireland, Jessica Jones Irons, Bill Junor, Karen Junor, Kate Junor, David Kelly, Mary Anne Kenny, Simon Kent, Cath Kevin, Michael Kirby, Natalie Kon-Yu, Emma Koster, Alan Lawson, Dave Leys, Iain McCalman, William McInnes, Kate Mackinnon, Clare McLaughlin, Karen Mann, Tim Mann, John Manning, Marlene Manning, Libby Martin, Brett Mason, Adrian Melillo, Liz Mercer, Gerard Moody, Judy Mundine, Jennifer Murphy, Mark Murphy, David Myton, Katy Nebhan, Andrew Nette, Jade O’Donohue, Tina Parolin, Kate Pasterfield, Hilary Pearse, Deborah Pike, Angela Pratt, Kerrilie Rice, Leisa Ridges, Christel Romano, The Rookies, Jorge Salavert, Lizzie Schebesta, Julianne Schultz, Fiona Scott, Lucia Scurrah, Tom Sear, Margaret Sheil, Kimberley Shrives, Jag Sidhu, Zora Simic, Greg Smith, Nic Smith, David Spencer, Natasha Stott Despoja, Jen Talamini, Rebecca Taylor, Mandy Thomas, Giovanni Tiso, Millie Tizzard, Graeme Turner, Michael Upton, Julienne van Loon, Michael Vanderlaan, Ella Vines, Katie Webbe, Andrew Wells, Mike Whelan, David Whish-Wilson, Terri-ann White, Andrew Wilkie, Tarrin Wills, Ed Wright, Farley Wright and Andrea Yapp-Byron; and the late Srinivas Aravamudan, Jo Chartier, Ian Donaldson, Scott Ewing, Dennis Godbee, Heather Kerr, Jack Mundey, Susan Ryan and Vivian Whittaker.
To my beta readers, whose generous and insightful commentary over several iterations vastly improved the manuscript– Kim Carr, Kate Fullagar, Emily Forrest, Nathan Hollier, Iain McCalman, Hilary Pearse, Tom Sear and Julienne van Loon (x4) – my deepest thanks, and a complete indemnity on the result. Double, even.
For ristretti, kindness, enthusiasm and gracious accommodation of long writing sessions, my thanks to the excellent people of: Industry Beans, Fitzroy; Assembly, Carlton; Heartattack and Vine, Carlton; Fireworks, Austinmer; Merlo, QUT; Rudy’s, Surfers Paradise; and especially Mark, Tim and their awesome staff at Grub Food Van, Fitzroy (vale). To my lovely friends of the Brunswick Street Bookstore in Fitzroy – Nina, Marie, Sam, Leni, Bella and Anna – I cannot tell you what your faith and goodwill have meant over the years. I hope I’ve delivered.
Huge thanks to the judges of the 2019 Victoria Premier’s Literary Award for an Unpublished Manuscript, Jaclyn Crupi, Elizabeth Flux and JP Pomare, who shortlisted an early (and much longer – sorry about that) version of this book, alongside the works of my Affirm stable-mate, Wayne Marshall, and the winner, Victoria Hannan, in a benediction that opened doors for all of us. Thanks to the Wheeler Centre who ably administer the awards, and thanks in particular to successive Victorian governments of both stripes who have supported Aussie writing through these awards since they were established by John Cain in 1985. The affirmation of creative work, especially the encouragement of new writing through the unpublished manuscript award, is of inestimable value. A special mention to Andrew Nette (shortlisted 2010) for the timely and canny advice to have a crack at it.
Enormous thanks to my literary agent, Catherine Drayton of InkWell Management, who already believed in this story back before the whole VPLA thing, and whose astute editorial advice over several drafts tightened the manuscript considerably before we even took it to market.
My publisher, Martin Hughes of Affirm Press, absolutely grasped the point of the novel from the outset, and made some critical suggestions that improved it no end. My partner in editorial crime, Ruby Ashby-Orr, worked
with nous, sensitivity and an unbelievably sharp eye to help me make this the best book it could be. Then the rest of the Affirm Press team made it beautiful, brought it into being and took it into the world with verve and enthusiasm – thanks to Sasha Beekman, Sandy Cull, Elena Gomez, Susie Kennewell, Laura McNicol Smith, Kevin O’Brien, Lauren Ravida and Keiran Rogers. You took this rookie in hand with generosity, professionalism and über-loveliness. I can’t thank you all enough.
Special thanks to Erika Brunner, rights and permissions manager of S. Karger AG of Basel, Switzerland, for generous permission to use the gorgeous digital renderings of Vesalius’s illustrations that were created for the New Fabrica, and for the supply of high-quality files. Those images are integral to the novel’s coherence and we are very grateful for their inclusion. Karger has made a profound contribution to the history of medicine by commissioning that supremely accessible new English translation. Lavishly illustrated, beautifully designed and scrupulously annotated, the New Fabrica is the true and fitting tribute to Vesalius’s landmark contribution. Seek one out in a library and you’ll see what I mean.
Finally and above all, thanks to Julienne van Loon, to whom this book is dedicated, who has given so much of her exceptional professional expertise to its development, but whose principal contribution is the love, companionship, wisdom, joy and courage that she shares with me every day. I’m so grateful we found one another, my love. Long may we prosper.
This book was written on Aboriginal land. Always was, always will be. Most of the action takes place in the stunning home of the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation – lands and waters that were never ceded. Respect to those all over this ancient continent who’ve been looking after Country since time immemorial, well before Spud Murphy’s bread-thieving ancestors showed up.
Table of Contents
Cover
About the Author
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Frontispiece
Volume I – The Bones and Cartilages
Volume II – The Ligaments and Muscles
Volume III – The Veins and Arteries
Volume IIII – The Nerves
Volume V – The Organs of Nutrition and Generation
Volume VI – The Heart and Associated Organs
Volume VII – The Brain
The Epitome of Andreas Vesalius
Author’s Note
Acknowledgements