Smut University: The Complete Series
Page 20
He obligingly pushed his hips forward to grind his hard flesh into mine. We were both without cloths so it would only take a shift of my hips and he would slide inside me. I could feel the moisture pool and my body clenched in anticipation. If it weren’t for the furrow in his brow, I would have.
“Can’t you tell me?” he coaxed gently. “Come on.”
I stopped to gaze up at him. His eyes were soft and imploring, with something that seemed like vulnerability lurking in the blue depths. “It’s nothing.” My fingers lingered on his cheek and my leg hooked the back of his thigh.
“Isn’t it?”
I smiled in delight. Happiness at the prospect filled my heart to exploding. “Are you jealous?”
“No,” he admonished. “But I don’t want secrets between us.”
I sobered, my hand still laced in the soft strands on the side of his head, playing, trying to offer comfort incase my next words stung. “The text was from Luke.”
Relief flooded his features. “Oh,” he smiled and bent to resume kissing my mouth. “Is one of your assignments late?” Jax murmured. “I think I might have some pull to fix it.”
I placed my fingertips on his jaw to stop him. “No, that’s not it, Jax.” I shook my head. “He thinks I’m a good writer and wondered if you’d be open to my replacing your missing T.A. Jeff, right? Luke needs help with the workload of so many students.”
Jax’s jaw hardened as anger filled his expression, and then he pushed away and rose from the bed. I sighed in regret even as I watched his magnificent male form walk away from me to gather the jeans that he’d left on the floor the night before and slide them on commando, his movements as smooth as a jungle cat.
I silently lamented that his perfect ass was now hidden beneath the denim. Jax faced me as he buttoned the waistband and slid the zipper up, a scowl placed firmly on his face. “Even if I’d consider it, why didn’t he tell me he was overworked himself? He had you ask me?” he was incredulous. “Does he know what’s going on between us?” he asked, accusingly.
I sat up abruptly, holding the covers around my bare chest, shaking my head indignantly. It hurt me that Jax didn’t trust me.
“No!” I didn’t understand why he was so angry, but clearly Luke’s trepidation was warranted. “He was talking to me about my work and said he really liked it, but…” I hesitated, remembering Luke’s insistence that Jax might think he wasn’t focused on his T.A. duties if he was working on a book of his own. I certainly understood. Jax could be onerous in his expectations, and the workload in his class was heavy. Given his current suspicion of Luke’s motives, I struggled with how to respond so I wouldn’t add fuel to the fire of his mood.
“But, what, Addison?” Jax demanded, turning to glare at me.
I thought about trying to joke with him but thought better of it. I felt myself flush under his scrutiny. I wanted to help Luke, and I was starting to get angry myself, so I ignored the nagging voice inside my head. I really wanted to help Luke, and so, I would. Just because I was in a relationship with Jax, didn’t mean I couldn’t do what I wanted. As far as I was concerned it had little to do with Jax. Did he tell me what he did every moment we weren’t together? No.
“But… you do assign a lot of work, and I get how he can’t handle it all himself!” I got off the bed dragging the sheet with me. The rest of the bedding tangled with it and fell to the floor and I struggled to get free so I could get dressed. “In fact, I feel a certain amount of guilt about it!” I stormed. I tugged hard at the offending material angrily.
“Why, for fuck’s sake?” He stood, bare-chested, dressed in his well-fitting jeans, his hands in his front pockets. It was a casual pose; if it weren’t for the tenor of his voice and his pissed off expression, I’d be ready to climb him like a tree. Through his anger, his eyes roamed over my naked form with a hunger he couldn’t disguise. I didn’t care how I felt about him, this was getting to be too much.
“Because working with me means you dump more in his lap, obviously!” I spat out, scanning the room for my clothing that had been discarded the night before.
“Pfft!” Jax dismissed. “He shouldn’t have come to you to fight his battles for him. It was a pussy thing to do. Why did he think you’d have any influence if he didn’t know we were involved?” he shouted.
I was frustrated by the tangle of material at my feet and finally gave up, finally stepping out of it, and letting the sheet fall to join the offending bedding. I was naked and Jax’s eyes burned over my skin. I could feel the intensity of his gaze as if it were fire. “I don’t know! Um… maybe because every woman you meet wants to fuck you, I guess!” I threw over my shoulder with a huff. I quickly found my black lace bra and panties and scurried into them, rushing around to throw on my blouse and jeans. His gaze burned every inch of my skin like a physical touch. Even when I wasn’t looking at him, I felt it.
“Maybe he wants to fuck you!” Jax fumed, following me around the room.
“I barely know him!” I shoved first one leg then the other into my jeans and pulled them up.
“So what?” Jax exclaimed. “That means nothing! He’s read your words and that’s enough to get any man’s cock hard!”
I almost laughed out loud. If it wasn’t so idiotic, it would be funny. Did Jax really think I could look at anyone else after being with him?
“You’re ridiculous, and oh, so eloquent! Not every guy uses his dick as a compass, you know! Maybe he thinks I’m a good writer, and maybe he just needs my help! Ever think of that? God, you’re such an arrogant bastard!”
Jax ran both hands through his hair impatiently. “He might need help, yes, but you’re incredibly naive if you think he doesn’t want into your pants, Addison.”
“Whatever, Jaxon.” I mocked his use of my full name and rolled my eyes.
“He could have spoken to me himself if that were truly his issue. Unless he’s got microscopic balls.” He stood fuming in front of me. “In which case he needs more than help with his writing.”
“Ugh! You’re unbelievable! He’s afraid you’d go all napalm on him, just as you’re doing to me now, I might add! Jesus!”
His hand landed on his hips again, then his strong jaw jutted out. “Baby, my napalm is not for him, and you know it,” he mocked, still furious. He was beautiful when he was angry and it was hard for me not to run to him, put my arms around his body, and then reach up and kiss the movie-star cleft on his chin.
I cringed at my own helplessness. A torrent of emotions raced through me. I was so mad, yet I wanted him… and I realized suddenly; I was in love with him.
“How would it look if I put you in as one of my T.A.s when you haven’t even finished the course, yourself?” he asked sarcastically. “Why not tattoo that I’m fucking you directly on my forehead, instead?” He used both index fingers to point to it. “I thought we decided to keep this between us, Addison?”
“God! I hate it when you say my name in that sanctimonious way! How many times do I need to tell you that I didn’t tell him about us?”
“Ahhhhh!” Jax yelled. “What a way to ruin a great fucking weekend,” he muttered, storming into the en-suite bathroom and slamming the door behind him with a substantial bang.
I inhaled a deep breath and froze in place. He was right. It was ruining the weekend, but I was hurt that he didn’t trust me. I would have told him the truth if I believed he would have kept his cool. I wanted to tell him, but I’d hoped he’d be reasonable enough to listen. Was this how he was with Luke all the time? No wonder the poor guy hesitated to approach him.
The anger fled, and sadness replaced it. My eyes filled with tears as I found my shoes and shoved them on, gathering my purse, and turning to walk out of his bedroom, I left the apartment. Jaxon Michaels definitely needed a cooling-off period, and I needed to decide what I was going to do. Becoming T.A number two was off the table, so if I wanted to critique Luke’s novel, I’d have to be honest. Judging from his overreaction this morning, he wouldn’t ta
ke it well, but to hide it would be worse.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
What the hell just happened?
I inhaled deeply, trying to calm myself but yanked a fluffy white towel off of the rack and flung it over the top of one of the glass walls on the shower in my private bathroom. Soon the room was full of steam and I was standing under the hot water. Unfortunately, my dick was still at attention despite our fight.
My hand reached out and turned the faucet all the way to the cold side. When the icy water hit the steaming skin of my back and shoulders, it made me flinch. “Jesus Christ!” I cursed, turning around to take it like a man. I let the water rush over my face and down the front of my body. It had the desired effect, and soon, my problem was solved.
Shit! I thought, returning the water to a more palatable temperature.
So much for my plans to take Addison out to a light breakfast, then Oktoberfest NYC and after the sun went down, I’d planned to take her to the Great Jack-O-Lantern Blaze. I’d never been but had heard it was fantastic; thousands and thousands of intricately carved pumpkins all a glow. It would have been very romantic, and now my entire day of plans was ruined.
I groaned aloud, sucking in another deep, calming breath as I continued to let the warm water rush over me. How could I let a discussion about Luke Anderson screw up the entire day? A new twinge of anger, or some other emotion I hesitated to define, nagged at me as I used some of the musky body wash from the chrome dispenser situated in one corner of the shower and lathered up my skin. My mind was racing, my chest felt uncomfortably tight and I wanted to fucking punch something.
What in fuck’s name was wrong with me, and what was Luke doing texting Addison about anything other than her assignments? Reading and grading her work didn’t mean he needed to call or text her, I rationalized.
I paused to think about it before I turned to rinse off. He was a man. Younger than me by a decade, sure, but still a man, and what man wouldn’t want her? Just looking at her brought me to my knees, but especially after knowing how her incredible mind worked. He didn’t have her scent, the feel of her in his arms, the knowledge of how her body came to life with just a little coaxing, but I had to admit that even her words were enough to get his dick hard, and knowing he was helpless to his hormones didn’t make the anger and anxiety I was feeling subside.
My jaw clenched, fighting with my own emotions; knowing how completely owned I was. I didn’t want Addison anywhere near him. More than that, I just wanted to get through this academic year without raising too many eyebrows. If I didn’t know it before that moment, it hit me that I wanted Addison to be part of my future, not just a casual fling.
I shook my head. I couldn’t make her my T.A. for a class she hadn’t even finished, no matter how brilliant she was or how much help Luke might need. After she graduated and her book was published, we could be more open about our relationship, but only then. Publishers generally took at least a year to get a book out after the contract was signed, so it should all work out if I could just keep control of the situation.
I grabbed my towel and quickly ran it over my face before exiting the glass-enclosed stall, my body still dripping wet. I let the plush terrycloth soak up the water droplets still clinging to the skin of my chest and abs, then further down my body as I stared at myself in the large mirror that reflected the gleaming marble, chrome and glass through the steamy air. My eyes widened at my reflection. She was definitely changing me. I’d never put anyone’s needs above mine before. Instinctively, I wanted to tell the world we were together, and the consequences be damned. That’s what I’d always done; taken what I wanted, done what I wanted, and not made any apologies, but I couldn’t lose my perspective on the goal. I had to keep focus, for Addison’s sake.
Grunting, I dropped the towel on the floor and walking into the vast open space of the master bedroom, and the magnificent Manhattan view including Central Park and the East River. As I grabbed an expensively weathered pair of jeans from one of the built-in dressers in the huge closet, I fought with myself. She’d apologized after our last argument, so it was probably my turn to eat crow, though it was completely against my personality to do so. Plus, everything in me wanted to confront Luke about asking her to come to me about his problem, when he should have done so himself.
I’d just pulled on the jeans and picked one of the fine V-neck T-shirts from its hanger when the buzzer to the penthouse sounded. Walking out of my closet still holding the shirt, I glanced around the bedroom for my smartphone so I could look on the app to see who it was, but I didn’t see it. The buzzer sounded again, and I moved quickly in that direction. My heart rate increased in anticipation, hoping it was Addison. I rarely had visitors on Saturday morning, so surely it was her. A smile spread across my face as I flung open the door without pausing, but it was quickly lost when I saw who was standing there.
“Well, hello, stranger,” Gloria purred, looking over my bare torso, down my body to my bare feet, hesitating for a pointed second or two at my crotch.
I scowled at her, and quickly pulled the white shirt I was still holding over my head and shoved my arms through the sleeves. I turned and moved toward the kitchen, hoping she’d say what she needed to say and leave quickly. “What are you doing here?”
She huffed in indignation and followed me, her stiletto heels clicking on the hardwood behind me. “You used to like me to be here, remember?” Gloria moved in close as I pulled the orange juice from the refrigerator, opened it, and took a long swig.
“Not really,” I answered rudely, replacing the juice and turning to lean against the counter. Gloria’s face fell before she quickly hid her disappointment. If I was honest, I was being a dick, but damn it, she shouldn’t show up without calling first. “What is it? Is this about Addison’s manuscript?”
Gloria’s brow dropped, and she waved a careless hand at me. “No, I’m trying to read it, but I’m not getting into it at all,” she dismissed.
I crossed my arms over my chest as my eyes narrowed. “What? How can that be?”
She shrugged casually and moved away from me to walk toward the window. She stood looking out. “I guess I’m too worried about your deadline. It’s coming up fast, Jax.”
“As you keep reminding me. I told you to move it back.” My mood was getting worse which was only compounded by what came next.
Gloria laughed haughtily, turning so her eyes locked with mine. “You’re so funny, Jax. Even you can’t push this publisher around.”
“That’s not my objective, Gloria. Every writer gets block from time to time.” I felt foolish trying to justify it. I’d made my publisher and my agent lots of money over the past few years and I thought I deserved a little latitude.
Gloria’s face sobered. “But you don’t, Jax. But if you want, I can hire a ghost writer. The important thing is to get some pages submitted.”
“I don’t want someone else writing my books. My readers would know.”
“I can get someone who has a similar style. It’s done all the time.”
“I said, no.”
“Well, you have no choice but to get it done, then.” She had strolled back into the kitchen from the window in the great room and moved closer. She ran a teasing finger down my arm, and I stiffened away from her. It did not go unnoticed.
“Ask them to publish Addison’s manuscript in my slot. It’s a win win.”
“Is it?” she asked drolly. “You expect me to march into Marcia Goldstone’s office and tell her to replace a sure bestseller with a little nobody’s book?” Her eyes flashed. “Yeah, right.”
“Yes. It’s an excellent book,” I answered; nonplussed.
Gloria rolled her eyes and opened the refrigerator door, peering inside as if she owned the place. “Do you have anything to drink? Other than juice, I mean?” Her casual familiarity wouldn’t have bothered me a few months ago, but now, I found it annoying. “Do you have any white wine?”
“No,” I stated, even though I had a dozen
different offerings, but the white wine selection was in the bar refrigerator and it surprised me that she didn’t remember that. I moved in front of her and pushed the fridge closed.
Gloria pursed her lips, and one finely tweezed brow arched. How did I think she was so beautiful? She was skinny and cold, more of an ice queen. How did I ever find her attractive? I felt perplexed and shook my head slightly. “What happened to you, Gloria? You used to have such a passion for the story? Addison’s book will hook you if you’d read it.”
She huffed and picked up the small purse she’d placed on the smooth white and black marbled granite of the countertop and shoved it under her arm. She was as casually dressed as I’d ever seen her, but still, she had on wool trousers, a bright print blouse and a short white wool tailored coat. That, and her standard four, or five, inch heels.
“I guess the millions of indie authors flooding the market and publishers doing anything and everything to make a buck these days makes me a bit more cynical, Jax. They find it easier to scoop up the bestselling indies, and publish something that’s already been proven, then it is to find new talent by wading through stacks of submissions. Everyone likes a sure thing, don’t they?” Her red lipped mouth curved up on one side in a provocative smile.
“Ugh,” I lamented, shaking my head again. “It’s your job to wade through the stack for them, Gloria.”
“Yes, but they don’t give what I push at them a second look anymore. Not when they’ve got interns researching current sales trends online. If they don’t care about the writing, why should I? It doesn’t get me anything but shown the door.”
I had to admit she was probably telling the truth. The passionless attitude, which had colored the industry of late, was also probably the reason for my lack of enthusiasm for my own writing. Writing used to fill me with joy. Hearing my agent’s enthusiasm was infectious. Now, I just felt like a fucking cog in a machine that made money for a bunch of faceless people who didn’t give a shit about the craft anymore. “You can show yourself out, Gloria. I have plans and I’m late.” I started to leave the room, anxious to reconcile with Addison, leaving Gloria stunned behind me. I was rewarded with a sarcastic, sneering retort.