by Kahlen Aymes
“Of course! I’ll have my secretary call you tomorrow to set up an appointment. Have a nice night, doll.”
“I will. You, too.”
“Thanks, and um, don’t tell Jaxon about the ghostwriting opportunities. He’s arrogant enough to be above all of that, and he will be angry that I’m starting you out in the background, but he had it easy. Ladies love men who write romance, and all the houses wanted his stuff. He wouldn’t understand having to work your way up and he’ll be pissy to me about it. He’s already so difficult; you understand, don’t you?”
“That might be a problem,” I said, hesitatingly. “I’m not sure I feel right about lying to him. He’s been so supportive of my writing.”
“Why? I mean, if you’re not in a personal relationship with him, it’s none of his business and he’d only throw a wrench in things. He wants to guide your career and he brought you to me. I’m doing what I feel is the best way to fast-track you, so he can suck it up. In two years, your career will take off and Jaxon Michaels will just be a blip in your rearview mirror.”
Not if I had anything to say about it, I thought defiantly. It was clear I had to keep my relationship with Jax away from Gloria.
At my lack of response, she continued, knowingly. “Unless you do have a personal relationship with him, which would be very bad for his position at NYU, and frankly, reckless of him.”
I was perplexed for a second. Didn’t she just say he did this every semester, yet a few sentences later he was acting recklessly? Yeah, right, I thought. Her remarks brought to mind the reason we were keeping our relationship a secret until I graduated, and Jax was not someone who would take push back sitting down. If he was upset, he might blow our cover, or Gloria might, and the last thing I wanted was to ruin his professional relationship with the university.
I cleared my throat. “No, we are only working together. You’re right. It’s none of his business.”
“Good girl. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
She hung up before I could answer.
And just like that, I had something else I had to keep from Jax. No doubt she was probably holding my manuscript hostage until Jax got his completed. Maybe it would be better if I didn’t distract him. My heart squeezed inside my chest. I’d miss him, but I didn’t want him risking his contract because we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.
I fell back on the bed as my phone went dark. My gut told me I should tell him, but Gloria was right. He wouldn’t want me to sign on as a ghostwriter and telling him would only make creating a little distance harder. He’d only champion me further and would most likely tell her that if they didn’t want to sign me, then fuck them. The problem was… he could fuck them, but I didn’t want him to, and I couldn’t risk any chance I had to publish.
Plus, I wanted to prove to him that I could make it without his help.
Sighing heavily, I picked up my phone and typed out a text to Luke.
I have to tell you something. Can we meet tomorrow before class?
Is it about helping me with my book?
Yeah, but I doubt you’ll want me to. There’s more to it, though.
Did Professor Michaels agree to make you TA?
If only that were the only thing that I had to tell him, it would be great, but how could I help him when I couldn’t even get my own book published?
My mind raced with ways to help Luke, and still get Jax to finish his book. Maybe after I had a couple of these ghostwriter jobs under my belt, then I could use that experience to help him, and perhaps if I confided in him what was going on with Gloria, he’d be able to motivate Jax, too. There had to be a way to work it all out. I quickly typed out my response.
No. I’ll explain tomorrow. I hope you had a good weekend.
Ugh. I should have seen that one coming.
You did. That’s why you wanted me to ask him.
Yeah, I’m a real shit, I guess. Are you okay?
I’m fine. I’ll talk to you about everything tomorrow.
Meet me in the lower commons thirty minutes before class.
See you then. I’m sorry if you got in trouble. You don’t seem okay.
I didn’t get in trouble! Stop worrying.
So why did it feel like trouble, and why was I worrying enough for the both of us?
20
I walked into the building, speeding to my sex writing class so I could make sure Addison was alright. I didn’t come in through the back way as I usually would. I didn’t need to stop by my office, and I was scanning for any sign of Addison.
I’d called her via FaceTime and texted twice earlier in the day, but she hadn’t answered. After the glorious weekend we’d shared, my heart had been soaring, and now I was overly agitated and worried.
Was she ill? Was she having second thoughts about us? My mind wouldn’t give me a break. It wasn’t like her to not answer my calls.
I ran an impatient hand through my lightly gelled hair, then pulled on the cuffs of my expensive white dress shirt which I’d paired with a sharp navy-blue Dior suit and a vibrant, but tasteful, blue, green and white patterned tie. I always cared about my appearance, but I took more notice today and had chosen a pocket square in the green shade from the tie. I wanted to inspire Addison’s heart and libido the way just her slightest glance inspired mine. I smiled to myself as I made my way through the commons of the building toward the lecture hall. My anxiousness made me arrive early, though I chastised myself what I’d do for the twenty-five minutes until the start of class. No doubt drive myself crazy unless I could get in touch with Addison. I’d been happier then I’d probably ever been after our time together, but after so many unanswered calls and messages, I was nervous. I didn’t get nervous, I reminded myself.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a couple sitting huddled together on one of the wooden benches that lined the outside of the hall. Normally, I wouldn’t have noticed because there would have been the hustle and bustle of students everywhere, but it was still several minutes prior to class time, and less active than when I usually arrived. The young man seemed to be comforting the young lady, his back was to me, and his head bent toward her. I couldn’t see the face of the girl because his arm was around her, but there was something familiar about him, but I couldn’t get a good enough look at him from across the large lobby.
His light teal plaid shirt rang a familiar chord, but then, I had many students, and probably more than one of them had a shirt like that. There was a black backpack at the girl’s feet, and a red one beside the man. I felt a pang of sympathy for them, maybe because of my own unease of the moment.
My phone rang as I entered the main hall and made my way down the stairs to the platform. Immediately, my eyes went to the area of the room where Addison usually sat, but all of the seats were empty. I continued walking and pulled out my phone.
“What is it, Gloria?”
“You know what it is! I need something from you, Jax. I can hold them off for another month, but that’s it. I need that manuscript!”
“God, I’m so fucking tired of this conversation. I said, I need a break.”
“No, you give me a break, Jax! This isn’t just your career, but mine hangs in the balance, too. I’ll lose all credibility and we’ll both be sued. If you don’t give a damn about yourself, think about me for a change! I told S & S I’d have three chapters to them by Christmas to keep your contract valid, but even that’s taking advantage of them. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
“Renegotiate it,” I growled.
“Coming from someone who doesn’t have to deal with that shit! It’s not that easy! There are millions of writers out there, Jaxon! Your little protégé for example, and what a great example you’re setting for her! You’ll just teach Addison she can violate her deadlines whenever she gets into a mood, and we both know that’s utter bullshit! Great lesson, Professor.” Her snarky tone grated, but if I were honest with myself, I had to admit that Gloria was right. I was being
selfish.
I climbed the stairs to the platform and placed my brief case down on the desk. I ran my fingers along the edge of the worn wooden surface and my head fell forward. I’d allowed myself to be distracted from writing for the first time in my career. Maybe it was my growing feelings for Addison, or perhaps it was my apathy for my agent, that did it. Bottom line was she didn’t deserve this.
“Jax? Are you still there?”
I nodded, though she couldn’t see me. “Yes, I’m here.”
“Look, the holidays are coming, and maybe I can get them to wait a couple more months, but I doubt it. They’re pressuring me weekly.”
I inhaled deeply. “I’ll try to get something done.”
After a beat, Gloria responded. “Good. Thank you. Why don’t you go to the cabin over Thanksgiving?” I had already planned on taking Addison there, but I knew I wouldn’t get any work done if she were with me. She should inspire an amazingly romantic story, but instead, all I wanted to do was drown in her. Gloria read my mind. “Alone,” she said sternly.
“Alright,” I acquiesced.
“Really?” Excitement laced her tone.
“Yes. Maybe I’ll take an extra couple of weeks and leave early. My T.A. should be able to handle it. Maybe I just need to get out of the city.”
“Good boy,” Gloria purred, relieved. “Just let me know when you’re leaving, and I’ll try not to bother you, too much.”
“Work on selling Addison’s manuscript.”
“I have! I submitted it to Hatchette and to S & S. They’re reading it.”
“Even without reading it yourself? You said...”
“I know what I said, but why should she suffer just because I don’t have time?” She broke in. “If you say it’s great, it’s great!”
Relief flooded me. “Thank you, Gloria. I appreciate it. I’ll call when I’ve made some progress.”
“Thanks for finally coming around, Jax. We’ll get this back on track. Marcia will be absolutely thrilled!”
The timing was shitty, given what I was feeling for Addison, but Gloria was right. How could I counsel her on how to be a writer when I wasn’t even producing a book of my own?
The door to the auditorium opened, and I glanced up. Luke was walking in with a few other students. I noticed the shirt and the red backpack and instantly the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Was Addison the woman he was huddled around? Heat started to flood the skin of my chest and creep up into my face.
“I gotta go, Gloria.”
“Sure thing. I’ll be in touch!”
When I shut the phone down, I looked up and locked eyes with my TA as he came down the final few stairs and walked on to the platform. I licked my lips and stared him down.
He opened his backpack and took out his laptop. “You’re here early,” he said. I could almost smell the defiance on him.
“I am,” I stated the unnecessary.
“I wanted to talk to you anyway.”
“Would this be about being overworked?”
“I’m not overworked. I mean, yes, it’s a lot after Jeff quit, but it’s not about that.” Some of the bravado he’d shown only seconds before dissipated.
I wanted to see if he’d man up without exposing that Addison had told me the truth behind his request. “Then what is it about?” I challenged.
“I wanted to ask if it would be okay for Addison Tomms to help me with a manuscript.”
“Then why didn’t you instead of sneaking around behind my back?” I blurted.
“You’re one to talk. Why didn’t you tell me you were working on a book with her?”
I saw red. Addison was supposed to keep that a secret. My back stiffened, and my demeanor cooled. “Because it’s not your concern.”
“It’s not my concern that you think a student under me is better than me?”
“Don’t be immature. Obviously, she’s a good student… so were you. Your styles are different.”
“Is that all that’s different?”
“Careful, kid.” My tone was low and menacing. “I saw you in the lobby with her earlier. It was her, wasn’t it? You seemed awfully cozy to be accusing me of inappropriate behavior.”
“I was just comforting her. She was upset. She was telling me she couldn’t help me with my manuscript because hers wasn’t good enough to get published. I know that can’t be true.”
I stood back and shoved one hand into the pocket of my slacks. “Did she hear from an agent or publisher?” Inside I was furious, my blood boiling. Something was going on that didn’t add up. Surely, Luke had it all wrong, but either way, she ignored my calls and spilled her guts to this… boy? Had she share something we swore to keep just between us?
Involuntarily, I felt my lower jaw jut out. I was beyond pissed, and I could barely contain it.
“Finally, something we can agree on,” I spat, flinging open my briefcase and pulling out the class notes I had prepared on my laptop that I proceeded to hook up to the multi-media projector.
“Did you sabotage her with that agent of yours?”
“You tell me since you seem to know everything,” I said dryly. “But if I were you, I’d choose your words carefully.”
“Look, Professor, I respect you, but this girl is gifted. Something had to have happened. She’s heartbroken.”
“I’ll take it under advisement.” My mind was reeling. Everything was perfect when I left her the night before, and Gloria had just affirmed that her book had been pitched to a couple of publishers. “I’ll confer with Miss Tomms later, but I’ll reiterate, it’s none of your business. Now, get your shit ready for class,” I demanded. My eyes flashed up to scan the room. Her usual seat was empty, though Michelle and the others who sat near her were there, waiting. “And next time you want to ask me something, have the balls to do it yourself.”
“Yes, sir. I’m sorry.”
“And grade her papers, but that’s it. Got it?”
I wanted to punch him. I wanted to scream that she was mine and he should keep his prick in his pants or face the consequences. As it was, it was time for class, and I had no choice but to remain cool on the outside… when inside, I was on fucking fire.
I felt betrayed, confused, and… hurt. So goddamned hurt. How could she tell him? Why didn’t she come to me if Gloria had rejected her manuscript?
A new wave of fury filled me. I’d deal with Gloria later, but Addison was my first priority.
“Class take your seats. I have notes on plotting and conflict building that we’ll go over today. Make sure to pay attention because the remainder of the semester will be working up your own novel, so take copious notes. You have a month to get three chapters written. Three chapters that will make or break your book.”
Luke leaned in. “This isn’t on my syllabus,” he said, using his hand to cover the microphone on the podium.
“Change of plans. Adapt. I’ll be speaking to the dean about taking a month off to finish my own book. You wanted to work on yours, then work on it with this class. I’ll take a look at it when I get back.”
“These kids… they want to work with you, not me.”
“Well, life sucks sometimes. You don’t always get what you want, and it’s better to learn early.”
I used my hand to shoo him away from the microphone and touched my laptop to bring up the first slide and begin my class. The sooner I got this fucking thing over with, the better. Where was Addison, and what the hell was going on?
“There are seven plot points you must have to create an engaging novel. They are the Back Story, the Catalyst, the Big Event, the Midpoint, the Crisis, the Climax, and the Realization. You can write a story without some of these, but it won’t be one your readers will want to read.”
I looked out at the stunned faces, some of them exuberant, but most seemed terrified. “I can see some of you celebrating this moment and others bemoaning it. But you’re about to earn your grades, good or bad. If you didn’t take this class to be real writers, well…
tough shit! Life sucks… until you write a book. Sometimes, it sucks even then. Get used to it.”
I tried to go to class, but after Luke thought he had to come to my rescue and confront Jax, I couldn’t bear it. Instead, I went to the library where I felt like I was hiding out. I was intent on just telling Luke I couldn’t assist in the writing of his novel because I was writing my own, but when I tried, my emotions got the better of me.
I had rationalized Gloria’s deal, and it made sense, so why was I so freaking emotional over it. I’d broken down in front of him, and then, it was impossible not to tell him.
“Michaels is working with you in secret? You could have told me before, instead of making an ass out of me,” he riled. “How could you let me go on and on like that, when all the while he was helping you? What’s he getting out of this? He demanded.
My stomach felt sick, and my heart started to thrum. I’d just exposed my relationship with Jax… the one thing I promised not to do. “How dare you! Dr. Michaels thought I was a good writer and when he found out I was writing a novel, he wanted to look it over. That’s all!” I frantically did my best to try to cover. Jax was right, I didn’t owe Luke anything, and now everything had gone off of the rails.
His lips thinned, and he shook his head, a look of hatred coming over his face. “Yeah, right. A guy like him doesn’t do anything for nothing. I thought you were better than that, Addy.” He huffed out his disgust before he stood and stormed into the auditorium to confront the subject of our conversation.
“Luke, please wait!” I’d called after him; pleading, but he only scowled at me over his shoulder. I grabbed my book bag and followed, but when he disappeared behind the big wooden double doors, I didn’t have the heart to follow. I couldn’t watch; I couldn’t see my relationship with Jax destroyed right before my eyes.
“Oh, God,” I moaned, putting my head down on the desk. My moment of reckoning was coming, and I dreaded it. Jax would never understand, would he?
