In A Time Of Darkness
Page 90
The Threads Of Entwinement Tighten
“How are we going to break this to Merial?” despite the tension, Elryia crept to Grahamas and slid her hand into his as they walked back.
“I’m not sure, but that is not what I worry about the most,” he replied, but all the same squeezing her hand.
“What do you mean?”
“There are some things I need to tell you… All of you.” Though curious, she left it at that. His expression alone revealed that it should wait until they returned. And as they came to the clearing, where the group waited patiently, both remained silent. When they entered, some wore hopeful expressions while others held concern, but each reflected disappointment when they saw that Graham and El had returned alone. “Lanyan was right, he’s gone—and far away from the looks of it.”
“Far? How could he have gotten that far?” Merial pushed to the front of the group.
Grahamas only bowed, whispering, “I’m sorry Mare.”
“Sorry? What for? You didn’t cause this.”
“I may have contributed to it,” Graham faced her with sincerity, but worried that it may not help. “Merial… Lornya and I had the impression that something like this may happen.”
“What do you mean? How?”
Lornya stepped in, knowing she could explain it better. “Since this journey began, I’ve checked in on the group from time to time. Until recently everything was promising, but when your group started traveling again, an aura mixed within that spoke of ill intentions—perhaps even darker than that. Since it was new, we believed it first to be…” She cleared her throat and turned an apologetic gaze towards the Mage, “Jeralyle, and then, Samsun. It was only a few days ago, in the forest when Valaira looked at him the way she did and how quickly she ran…that we knew.”
Merial blinked, taking it all in, seeming only more confused and hurt, “Why didn’t you say anything? Maybe we could have helped…”
“We were trying to help. That’s why we didn’t mention it. We did not want to risk scaring either of you or pushing him further. We hoped that we could guide him back without alarming anyone. I just didn’t imagine that it would go so far, so quickly.” Grahamas finished, feeling that since it was his choice, it was his responsibility to take the blame.
“But… I could have helped…” Merial protested.
Grahamas went to put his hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away.
“Mare, please.” Lanyan regretfully began. “If you’re going to be mad at anyone, let it be me. I’ve known him longer than anyone and better than most. I, too, saw what was in his heart and never spoke of it. Like Grahamas, I was hoping I could save him… I was hoping that…”
As Lanyan spoke, Merial became more pained until she finally could take no more. “Stop,” she pleaded, “just stop.” Whimpering slightly, shaking her head and putting her hands up, taking one step back and then another until she made her way across the clearing.
“I was afraid of that…” Muttered Graham, “I should talk to her.”
Lornya watched her cross and then turned back to the Champion, “I think it best to let her be by herself and work it out.”
Guilt stayed with him but he nodded—as did Lanyan—and it was agreed that they would give her space. But Gort chuffed, and then pointed out what they all failed to notice, “Where’s Jeralyle?”
Lornya scanned the other end of the clearing, the same spot Merial had just gone, and then smirked, “I have an idea.”
Lornya’s assumption was right. The same path Merial walked was one now tread by Jeralyle. It didn’t take long for him to find her, back against a tree, staring off into the night—oddly solemn for everything that had happened.
“Can I sit?” he asked, walking up to her side.
With a quick glance up, she nodded. “Please…” she whispered, allowing the Mage to sit down at her right side, nearly a foot away from her.
“You want to talk about it?”
Without warning, Merial slid over to him and rested her head on his shoulder, “I feel foolish… And I feel guilty.”
Jeralyle wound his arm around her shoulder, “If you’re worried about Grahamas or Lanyan, I don’t think they meant to hurt you. I think they were trying to spare you from even more pain.”
Merial shook her head and leaned further into him, “No. I don’t blame them… I understand what they did because I tried as well. He changed over the years and I saw who he was becoming. I stayed with him because I thought the same as they had. That I could save him—when I probably only pushed him deeper. I feel responsible.”
“Because of last night?”
“Yes… And no.”
“Then what?”
“Last night…” She sighed, raised her head up so he could hear her better. “No one has ever done anything like that for me, and Carsis and I had fought earlier. The whole situation just overwhelmed me and…” She pulled back so that he could look at her and the gaze held him, taking on a serious nature. “I don’t regret what happened, I hope you know that. I just should have handled it a different way. I should have dealt with my feelings for you, with him, before I acted on them.”
As much as he wanted to pursue that, he didn’t. “So then, why the guilt?”
“I feel responsible for what he tried to do to you. If Lanyan had not been awake… I don’t even want to think about it.”
Jer pulled her close and then pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Shh. It’s not your fault. Don’t let him make you feel ashamed for something he attempted. You didn’t do anything wrong, even in hoping that you could inspire him to be better. Do not let him make you forget how incredible you are just because he couldn’t see it.”
For a moment, she was so stunned she could only blink. She was used to such events, or such sincere words, once a month—sometimes longer—and now she received them every day. “Why are you so nice to me?” she asked, turning up and pressing her nose to his jaw.
He smiled slightly, trying to mask his chuckle. “Because I lo…like you.” The Mage swore he could hear her growl.
“Thank you.”
“For…?”
“Just being here…being yourself.”
Jeralyle laughed, now wrapping both arms around her and hugging tightly. “You’re welcome. I’ll be here as long as you want me, and we’ll get through this together.”
With a smile, she gently nipped at his jaw before kissing it, “Deal.”
The two were silent for a long time afterwards, but a realization set in on the Mage and a concern needed to be voiced despite how peaceful he felt, “Do you think we should go back?”
“Just a bit longer.”
Jeralyle wasn’t going to argue.