Christmas Sugar ~ Melanie Moreland

by Moreland, Melanie

  Regardless of George’s thoughts and his blessing, I had no idea how Alex would feel about seeing me. What her reaction to my proposal would be. I had spoken with her once—and it was brief—since the day I left. Daily, I fought against the need I felt, the yearning for her. And in doing so, I hurt not only myself, but also Alex and her children. I’d let my fears and doubt swamp me, and therefore, I denied us the one thing we all needed: to be together.

  The elevator sounded, and I watched as Alex stepped out, carrying some brightly wrapped packages. I knew money was tight for her, and she made the day more about family and time together than about gifts. There had been some presents for each of the kids under the tree from her and George and some friends. George told me she always added the ones from Santa, sneaking back upstairs before Noelle got her up, anxious to go downstairs. I knew that was what she was carrying. Two gifts each and a fat stocking for them each to open.

  She was wearing a pair of fuzzy pants and a long sweatshirt, which I realized was mine—the one I couldn’t find when I went home. She still had it and was wearing it tonight—that made me happy. Her hair was hanging around her shoulders, a dark cloud of messy waves. She looked tired and sad . . . a fact I planned to change in the next couple of minutes. I wanted her smile—that wide, beautiful one she had especially for me. I hoped that it was still mine.

  She stopped abruptly, shock evident on her face when she saw the piles of gifts now under the tree. Slowly, she came forward, setting down her gifts, hanging up the stockings by the fireplace. She lowered herself to her knees, looking at the surprise gifts, reading the tags. She sat stock-still for a moment, simply holding a box with Noelle’s name on it. I was horrified to see tears running down her cheeks when she lifted her face.

  “No, Dylan,” she said and sobbed into the seemingly empty room. “We didn’t want your gifts, we wanted you.”

  Dropping the package, she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with the force of her tears.

  They wanted me. Dylan. Not the business tycoon, not my money or the gifts it could buy. Me.

  My sock-covered feet made no noise as I went to her. Kneeling and wrapping my arms around her, I drew her close. “You have me, my darling girl.”

  I opened my eyes, the darkness of the night still around me. I pushed up off the mattress and pulled my legs up to my chest. I drew in a few deep breaths, hoping to dispel the constant heaviness in my chest.

  I knew it was useless. I knew what it was.

  I missed Dylan. Desperately.

  From the moment his car had disappeared around the corner, I had missed him. It was crazy. I had known him mere days, yet his departure left such a hole in me, I found myself unable to cope. I spent hours thinking of him. Of the way his mouth felt on mine. How safe I felt when he was beside me. Of the way the haughty expression on his face morphed into something warmer, sweet, almost loving when he was in the room with us.

  All of us.

  His leaving had affected each of us in different ways. Seth was quieter, almost angry at times. Noelle bounced between her usual cheerful self and being withdrawn and misbehaving. She had begged me to send “Dywan” some cookies.

  “He needs dem, Mommy. He be sad wifout dem.”

  I wondered if he had received them yet. What he would think.

  I wondered if we ever crossed his mind at all or if he had returned to his life and ceased to think of us.

  The thought of that happening increased the ache in my heart.

  I slid from bed, knowing trying to sleep was useless. After checking on Noelle, I gathered the Santa gifts and stockings I had made and headed downstairs. Perhaps I would curl up on the sofa by the tree and wait for the kids to get up. I wanted to make the day a nice one for them.

  The lobby was quiet, the tree lights glowing in the darkness. The one other light was the lamp in the corner. Something was different, but it wasn’t until I got closer to the tree that I saw what it was.

  Presents. Many of them, piled under the branches, the shiny paper catching the light. I stared, frozen at the mountain of Christmas gifts that had magically appeared since I went upstairs earlier.

  Had George used some of the money from the sale and bought the kids more gifts than usual?

  I crouched beside the tree and pulled one brightly wrapped package toward me, inspecting the tag. My hand shook as I read the words written in a bold, masculine script.

  For Noelle:

  Merry Christmas, Little Owl

  Love, Dylan

  Dylan. He had remembered us. Somehow, he had sent gifts. My gaze flew over the piles. So many gifts. I was sure all wonderful, thoughtful things. He didn’t think he was good at relationships, or that he was a caring man, but he was. I had witnessed his caring. The things he had given my children. The way he spoke to them, the way he treated me. He simply couldn’t see it. He could spot an incredible business deal instantly, but he had no idea of the value of his own worth.

  Tears sprang to my eyes. “No, Dylan.” I wept. “We didn’t want your gifts, we wanted you.”

  Dropping the package, I buried my face in my hands, giving in to the despair I had been feeling. I would have given anything to find him there with me. He was all I wanted.

  I started at the feel of arms wrapping around me.

  Dylan’s arms.

  A warm, gentle voice in my ear.

  Dylan’s voice.

  “You have me, my darling girl.”

  Gasping, she turned, flinging her arms around my neck. I pulled her close, breathing her in, holding her tight to my chest. I let her cry, enjoying the feel of holding her again and realizing the constant ache was gone. I felt complete and whole. That damn quack doctor had been right.

  Finally, I dropped my lips to her ear. “Hush, now. Look at me, baby. Please.”

  She pulled back, cupping my face. “When . . . how . . .”

  Leaning down, I wiped away her tears and kissed her—softly brushing her lips with mine. “A little while ago. George let me in.”

  Her eyes were wide—I could see the fear in them. “George did? He knows you’re here? How long? Noelle . . . I can’t let her . . .”

  I kissed her soundly, silencing her words. “Forever, Alex. If you’ll have me.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Neither did I, until yesterday.” I inhaled deeply. I hadn’t planned to do it so soon, but the moment was right. “I love you, Alex. I want to build a life with you.” Before she could protest, I held a finger to her lips. “Here with you. I’ll build your house on the bluff. We’ll make a life together. You, me, Seth, and my Little Owl. We’ll be a family.” I pressed the box into her hand. “Marry me, Alex. Make this the happiest Christmas I’ve ever known.”

  She looked down at the box, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “Forgive me,” I begged her. “Forgive me for letting my fears stop me from telling you how much you mean to me. I know I said it was only here, but I was wrong. You’re everywhere, Alex. You’re inside me. You changed me so completely; I’m lost without you. For the first time in my life, I need someone. I need you. I need to be with you. Please let me.”

  More tears ran down her face, and her bottom lip quivered.

  “I don’t know anything about love or caring for other people. But I want to learn. I want you to teach me,” I pleaded. “I want to show you how much you—all of you—mean to me.” I touched her cheek gently. “You said you would be mine if you could,” I reminded her. “You can be. You simply have to say yes.”

  “This is crazy.”

  I grinned at her, using Arlene’s words. “Love is.”

  “I . . . I have so many questions.”

  “And I’ll answer all of them. Tell you anything you want to know. But let me do it with you as my fiancée. Please. Tell me you love me too.”

  Her voice quavered. “I do love you. I love you so much, and I’ve . . . missed you so much since you left.”

  “You don’t have
to miss me anymore. I’m here.”

  “You want to move here to be with me?”

  “With all of you, yes. But especially you.” I stroked her cheek. “I’ve missed you too,” I added. “So much.”

  “You really love me?”

  “I do.”

  “And my children?”

  I gathered her close. “I love them now, and I will love them like my own for the rest of my life. And I want to make a bunch more Noelles with you. Maybe a Seth or two thrown in so we boys have some company.”

  “Yes,” she whispered, smiling, pressing her mouth to my neck. “Yes.”

  My whole body froze. “Yes to marrying me, or yes to more babies?”

  She tilted up her head, meeting my gaze. Love blazed from the depths of her eyes. Her all-encompassing love that warmed my soul and eased my entire being. “Yes to both.”

  I took the ring from the box and slid it onto her finger. It was as perfect as I knew it would be.

  “Say it, Alex. I need to hear you say it.”

  She cupped my cheek, the ring glinting in the lights of the tree, as shiny and brilliant as the moment. “I love you, Dylan.”

  With a groan, I kissed her passionately. My memory of how she felt in my arms was nothing compared to the real thing. I was desperate to feel her against me, and I tugged her closer, trailing wet kisses down her neck. She gasped when I bit down on her skin, soothing it with my tongue. “I love you,” I declared against her skin. “I don’t ever want to be without you.”

  She whimpered as I slipped my hand under the loose shirt and my fingers traced over her nipples, teasing the tight peaks.

  “God, I want you.”

  “You have too many clothes on, Dylan.”

  I groaned into her neck. “I can change that.”

  “We have to be fast.”

  “That’s not going to be a problem, baby. I missed you . . . a lot.”

  Her fingers tugged at my waistband. “Good.”

  We curled up on the couch, her back to my chest, the fireplace crackling, the tree casting its glow over the room. I had changed into my new sleep pants, since someone’s anxious fingers had actually ripped my other ones. I had pulled on another sweatshirt, and when I sat down beside her again, I had to laugh. We both had on gray sweatshirts and plaid pants.

  “We match.” I grinned.

  “I like it.”

  I kissed her nose affectionately. “Me too.”

  We didn’t talk much, except the occasional murmur and “I love you” breaking the still of the room. We’d have lots of time to talk, clear the air, and make plans. Tomorrow, there’d be plenty of time for discussion. Right now, all we wanted, all we needed, was to be close. I pulled her snug to my body, dropping another kiss on her head. Contentment I never knew existed filled my heart, banishing the loneliness I’d known my entire life.

  “I should make coffee,” she said. “They’ll be up soon, and Noelle is going to go crazy when she sees you.” She looked up, beaming. “It’s going to be quite the Christmas Day.”

  I chuckled. “I can’t wait to see her and Seth. I would love some coffee. I haven’t had a decent cup since I left here. Amy is incapable of it, apparently. How do you make it taste so perfect? I tried adding a little bit of sugar the way I saw you do it. It still wasn’t right.”

  “I use natural sugar—it tastes better.” She grinned impishly. “I noticed you seemed happier when you ate or drank something sweet, so I slipped it in.”

  I tweaked her nose. “You got me addicted.”

  She laughed, but she was serious when she spoke. “Have you been giving her a hard time—Amy, I mean?”

  “At times.”

  She rolled her eyes and sat up. Turning around, she placed her hand on my chest. “Dylan,” she admonished, “you have to be nice.”

  “I’ll be very nice to my new assistant.”

  “You already know who that will be?”

  With a wicked grin, I picked up her hand, kissing the ring she now wore. “I was hoping, since you won’t have the inn to worry about, maybe you’d agree to keep me in line.”

  She pursed her lips, pausing to think. “Running the inn will seem like child’s play compared to that,” she countered.

  I gasped in mock horror. “Don’t think you can handle me, Alex?”

  “You, Mr. Maxwell, are a demanding man.”

  “I am. But I promise there’ll be lots of perks . . . bonuses . . .” I teased her. “Does that help?”

  “Maybe.”

  “What if I promised to be good?”

  “I’m not sure you can be.”

  “I will. I promise.” I ran my finger down her cheek, tracing her full bottom lip. “I have a feeling you’re exactly who I need by my side.”

  Her cheeks colored, and she tossed her hair. “Well, maybe we can do a three-month probationary period.”

  I smirked at her knowingly. “By then, we’ll be married, so you can’t dump me.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “We will?”

  I became serious. “Alex, I finally found you. The key to something I never expected to have—happiness. I’m not taking the chance of losing you. I want to be with you. I assumed you would prefer to be married rather than living together.”

  “Things are moving so fast.”

  I kissed her. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. I’ll refrain from booking a minister today.”

  Before she could answer me, the elevator pinged. Alex stood, smiling. “Brace yourself, Dylan. The squealing is going to commence.”

  I stood beside her. I could hardly wait.

  The elevator door opened, and out stumbled the sweetest little girl in the world, wearing her fuzzy red slippers, her wild curls bouncing around her head. A sleepy Seth followed, rubbing his eyes. He spotted me immediately, halting in his tracks. Noelle was staring at the vast pile of gifts under the tree, her eyes huge, her mouth a wide O. Then she saw me, and, in a second, was tearing across the room, her arms outstretched.

  “Dywan! Dywan!”

  I fell to my knees, my own arms open as she barreled into me. She wrapped herself around me, all warm and soft, smelling of bubble bath and little girl. Tears sprang to my eyes at her greeting. She pulled back, dropping tiny butterfly kisses all over my face, turning my tears into laughter.

  “I knew it, I knew it,” she crowed. “I tolded Thanta I had a wifth I touldn’t even tell him, and he thaid if I was vewy good and pwayed weally hawd, I would ged it!” She turned to Seth, who was watching us with narrowed eyes. “I toll you, Sef!” Her head swung back my way. “Iz you, Dywan? Iz you my wifth? I didn’t ask for nuffin’ else—not even fo my birfday!”

  “You wanted me to come back, Little Owl?” I asked, smiling as she dropped more kisses on my chin, wrinkling her nose as the scruff tickled her face.

  Seth snorted. “She wants way more than that.” He huffed. “Asshole,” he added so quietly, I almost missed it.

  I had no doubt that, as happy as my girls were to see me, Seth had reservations.

  Noelle gasped. “Dywan iz no an ath-hole! He iz onwy gwumpy when he no haf suppa!”

  My lips quirked at her defensive words, but Alex stood, slamming her hands on her hips.

  I stood alongside her, taking Noelle with me. Not that I had any choice, since she had her arms wrapped so tight around my neck I wasn’t sure how much longer I could breathe. “Alex,” I murmured. “Let me.”

  I held out my hand. “Seth.”

  “Dylan,” he scoffed, ignoring my hand.

  Behind me, Alex hissed, “Seth, your manners!”

  I held up my hand. “It’s fine, Alex. He’s protecting you. Both of you.”

  “How long are you here for?” he asked with purpose. “You might as well tell her and break her heart now.”

  Noelle shook her head. “No, Sef! My wifth is Dywan would be a daddy for boffa us! And Mommy need a huband. He is bof! Dats why he’s hewe!” She looked at me, the innocent belief of a child shining through. To her, it w
as so simple. If she was good enough, and wished hard enough, it would be true. Her smile was bright and filled with hope. “Wight, Dywan?”

  I kissed her cheek and met Seth’s stare. As strong as he was trying to appear, I could see the vulnerability he was attempting to cover up.

  “I came back to ask all of you if it would be okay if I moved here, Seth,” I explained. “If maybe you all liked me enough to let us try to be a family.”

  Noelle squealed, tightening her hands. I was certain I was about to start seeing black dots.

  “I don’t need a father,” he muttered and began to turn away.

  I stopped him. “How about a friend? I thought we got along pretty well. Maybe we could start there.”

  He hesitated. “You’re really moving here?”

  “I want to. I want to build a life here. I want to build you all a home and share it with you.”

  His gaze flew to Alex, who nodded. “All of us?” His tone was less combative and more like the happy teenager I had grown to love.

  I extended my hand again and winked. “All of you,” I stated firmly. “I think you need me to help even out the numbers. God knows I can’t keep these two in line without you.”

  He grabbed my hand, shaking it hard. “Darn right, you can’t.”

  All of a sudden, I was ensconced. I was holding Noelle and Seth, with Alex wrapped around all of us. The love I felt was astounding. I was exhausted and overwhelmed, in a good way, being cried upon, my hair tugged by happy little fists, choked to death with love, and I was pretty sure I was about to weep in front of all of them.

  I had flown all night, driven a minivan, played Santa, proposed to a woman who could render me useless with one smile, and it wasn’t even seven a.m.

  It was the best Christmas ever.

  I HAD NEVER KNOWN A Christmas like it. My childhood, especially after my mother passed, had been lonely. My father buried himself in work, and at times, he seemed to forget I existed. I had nannies, then tutors, to keep me company. Mrs. C had changed all that when she joined my father’s household as his housekeeper. She became so much more to me: my friend, confidante, and staunchest supporter. When I opened my first office, she walked away from my father and stood beside me, even as he sneered at my business idea. Real estate was a foolish endeavor, and I was being irresponsible, he’d said. Once again, I disappointed him. Arlene’s faith in me never wavered.