Love's Distance

by Flynn Eire

  “And his magical prostate?” Helios chuckled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh god, I’m sorry, I know it’s not funny, but it was. I mean, I saw the live version and the kid was so wasted and ranting about how he wanted a prostate like that. It was just—god.”

  “Right, I’m sure I’d think it was hysterical if I wasn’t worried about other men challenging my lover so they can get a taste of him now that he’s a warrior,” I drawled.

  Helios instantly stopped laughing, frowning even. “You know, I immediately want to say no one would be that petty and try a challenge just to get Bowie bent over but we both know that’s not true. Shit. I didn’t think of that and I know Alexander hasn’t either.”

  “I figured, but Bowie’s back from his assignment now and freaked out.”

  “I’ll bet,” he muttered, scrubbing his hand over his hair. “And we can’t say no one can challenge him because then it’s playing favorites and that will just humiliate a brand new warrior.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I sighed, leaning against the door frame.

  He raised an eyebrow as he took in my tense posture trying to look relaxed. “But yet you came here to me, not Alexander.”

  “Well, you’re the scariest fucker here,” I muttered, glancing at my shoes.

  “And you want me to spread word that if I catch wind of anyone challenging Bowie just because they’re trying for sex with him that they’ll have me to dance with next,” he surmised, this time getting things right.

  I nodded. “I’m top ten but there’s a few in front of me that I’m worried about most. And if I do, it’s just me being the overprotective lover and seriously egging people on, while undercutting Bowie like he can’t fight his own battles. You do it and it’s our Wyrok member reminding people the challenges are serious and for rank, positions at camp, not to get laid and take advantage of new warriors.”

  “Deal,” he immediately agreed, shocking the shit out of me, but then continued, letting me know why he was so quick to jump all over my needing a favor. “But you keep me as a Wyrok liaison in the loop on your research and add in my saliva sample to see the difference in healing rate on humans of vampire versus ancient vampire.”

  I was so startled that he not only knew about what I was doing but also had a request to tailor my research to what the Wyrok wanted I actually stumbled away from the door. “How—how?”

  “How did we know?” he finished for me, raising an eyebrow. I slowly nodded, unable to get my mouth to work, mostly because some vampires would be really pissed at my wanting to help humans with our DNA and might take matters into their own hands to stop me. “The situation with the previous Councilman Ashton was very disconcerting so we’ve been keeping a close eye on the new one, making sure there’s been no blowback on Theo for his father’s actions.”

  “You’re spying on him,” I accused.

  “Yes, but only for his safety.” Helios shrugged. “It’s not my call and I’m not directly involved. Your project was brought to my attention.”

  “Oh god.” Spots formed in front of my eyes as I grabbed for something, but had moved too far away to reach for anything. Helios moved to catch me, pulling me into his room.

  “You’re not in trouble, Sam, neither is Theo,” he assured me gently. “You guys want to help sick human kids and heal what most of the Wyrok see as our potential food supply.” I winced at their classifying humans so coldly like cattle. “I know, I didn’t say I agreed with that either, but I’m just saying, you’re not in trouble, okay?”

  “Right, okay, cool,” I muttered. I stared at him as I pulled my arm away from him. “I can’t hide this from Theo. He’s my partner in the project. I promised to be open with him.”

  He thought about it a moment and nodded. “Yeah, but talk to him on Evan’s phone when they’re not at the house. We’re not watching that one. Or I can talk to Evan. We’re really not investigating Theo, it’s for his safety because we want him on the council and protected. He’s made waves undoing some of the shady shit his father did, and we were worried people wouldn’t warn him of the danger in time. Evan’s got a good team in place, but even the best teams can’t know of all the dangers out there.”

  “Fair enough, and I’m sure Evan would be able to explain to Theo that you’re a good extra set of eyes and ears to have watching his mate.” I took a few deep breaths and twisted my hands together. “I’ll share my information once Theo’s been apprised of what’s going on and is cool with it. I can’t just say yes I’ll change around my study when I’m this far in and without taking a look at some figures. I could compromise the results. Give me a few days to look some things over and think about this.”

  “Okay, give me worse case if you can’t incorporate it,” he hedged, his eyebrows scrunched together as if not having expected me to deny his request.

  I thought about that a moment too. “I redo the study once I’m done with the first solely with your DNA then compare the two separately. Bringing in a new line of testables this far in makes the controls unreliable. I’ll have to run some numbers and whatnot, see how far behind this would put me. I might need some more hands, that sort of thing.”

  “I think that’s an easily acceptable alternative.” He shrugged. “I’m not a science guy, but yeah, don’t screw things up to do it, but we’d like to know if there’s a difference just like everything else about us as we age.”

  “How long have you been planning to ask me this?” I muttered when he stared at me, waiting for me to respond.

  “Um, since I snuck into your lab to read your notes and see how you were progressing last week and couldn’t make sense of any of it,” he admitted sheepishly. I growled and he held up his hands in surrender. “I only read what was in the notebooks and on the computer files. I didn’t touch anything in the fridge, microscopes, dishes, or anything like that. I wouldn’t risk compromising your work. If it wasn’t right there, or would require me to have opened a sealed container, I didn’t go near it.”

  “Fine,” I seethed, shaking my head. “So me showing up here this morning just made your life easier, huh?”

  “Oh yeah,” he chuckled, scratching his cheek. “I had no clue how to bring this one up. Part of me wants to thank Zibon if that wouldn’t be such a callous move.”

  I shot him a nasty look, not caring he was Wyrok for once. “Ya think?”

  “Like I said.” He cleared his throat and nodded. “We good then?”

  “I’ll try. I mean, I’ll look things over but will you help Bowie? You should anyways since we shouldn’t be letting people challenge new warriors for sex.”

  “Yeah, I’ll help.” Helios looked about twenty seconds from laughing, and I figured it was best I got out of there before he did. I might blow a gasket if he busted a gut at the idea of someone banging Bowie just to try out his “magical” prostate. Stupid Zibon.

  As much as I wanted to see if I could catch Bowie before he met up with his mountain of reports, I had a date with a culture I needed to test at a certain time. Next thing I knew it was several hours later and I was not only starving but in desperate need of blood. The blood was easy, I was in charge of dispensing it since I was the one who got it for the camp.

  Maybe that might change now with our hookup of Theo, but since I had to put my name on the slips and it had to be accounted for medical needs and everyone had their needed allowances, I was a pain in the ass. I made them come to me instead of pouring it all in the dispenser in the cafeteria next to the Mountain Dew as Dimitri had suggested. Yeah, well, when it was his ass on the line to make sure everyone was in good health and they’d had their blood, we could do it his way.

  Maybe.

  I sent one of the post-trans working with me that day, Verge, to grab me lunch, pissed that I was missing the opportunity to see Bowie. He shot me a funny look that I tried to ignore, but it was obvious he probably thought I was intentionally trying to duck Bowie or something.

  If the kid only knew the truth and how much I wanted to
see my man… While he was still my mine. I simply couldn’t leave the cultures. I’d been working so hard to get to this point and Bowie coming home right then was unfortunate timing. Nothing could be done about that.

  Even worse was that I completely blew through dinner, and the next time I came back to reality, I realized Verge was gone along with the warrior assigned to help get everything ready for the pre-trans who was turning the next day.

  “Fuck,” I groaned as I hurried to put everything away, making sure to still be careful, jotted down what I absolutely had to so I didn’t mess anything up, and got the hell out of my lab. I locked it all up, shaking my head as I thought about Helios breaking in. I bet he was one of the reasons Alexander had so readily agreed to let me get a lab in the first place. I had thought it was going to be a battle of charts and proposals, but the man had nodded and asked me what I’d needed to make it happen.

  To say I’d been shocked was an understatement. Alexander wasn’t much for change in all the years I’d known him, and while being mated to Dimitri the past few had lightened him up some, I hadn’t thought my lab was something he’d just readily agree to.

  I didn’t have time to get cleaned up, though I would have liked to. Nothing was as sexy as smelling like lab chemicals and strong disinfectants. Riiiiight.

  Finding Bowie and apologizing again was more important. My mind was still racing on everything with him and my work when I reached his room. I knocked and knocked but no one answered.

  “He’s not there,” Mark informed me as he walked by, stopping at the next door. “We figured he was going to meet up with you after dinner.”

  “No, I lost track of time,” I muttered, racking my brain where he could be. Then it hit me. “Thanks.” I rushed off to my room, hoping he was there since I’d told him I wanted him there every night and now that he was back.

  I wasn’t all that shocked when I didn’t find him there though.

  Next I headed to the lounge. I saw Zibon talking to Lance so I walked over to them. “Do you guys know where Bowie is?”

  Lance looked up at me a moment, anger in his eyes. “Now you care when the work day is done and it’s time for bed?”

  I flinched and bit back a hot retort, reminding myself that from their perspective it was almost a fair assumption. Adjusting my neck, I took a deep breath. “He’s more to me than that, but that’s all the explanation you get from me, kid. I remember you fucking shit up pretty bad at times too, but we all gave you the chance to make it right. My work is important, Lance. I wasn’t playing video games and lost track of time.”

  “Dude, ease up. Sam’s right. We all fuck up,” Zibon muttered before glancing up at me. “He’s in the workroom. He won’t talk to me, and he’s in a bad place so tread carefully.”

  “Thanks.” I started to turn away but then stopped. “I handled your mistake, Zibon. Helios will make sure no one takes advantage of Bowie. I hope you’ve learned a lesson here though. The stakes are much higher now that you’re a warrior and the training wheels are off so you own your actions.”

  Zibon nodded and I saw the dark circles under his eyes, an echo of pain in them. “I know. Believe me, I know. You forget I killed a vampire my first assignment.” He looked away then, but I could see how haunted he was by it from the shadows on his face as he reached to the table next to his seat and picked up a glass of dark drink with a shaky hand. “I’ll live with everything I do forever.”

  I shot Lance a worried look and he returned it. Shit. I wondered if anyone knew about this too. Zibon killing Lloyd had been completely justified given the circumstances, but that didn’t always mean it was something a person could justify within themselves.

  It was like the human shows I’d seen where rookie policeman or soldiers were wracked with guilt from taking a life. For us it was more severe at times because taking the wrong life could turn us into a Zakasac. But that obviously wasn’t the case with Zibon.

  I just didn’t think that brought him any comfort.

  Either way, the situation was something to put on the back burner. Right then was about Bowie because I was close to losing him and that was more important and volatile than the demons Zibon had been struggling with for months when he had Lance right there with them. Or at least that was what I told myself as I rushed off to find Bowie.

  7 Bowie

  I loved watching the way the wood soaked up the stain. It was cathartic for me. I wasn’t sure why but I’d spent hours thinking about it, analyzing why I liked it that much… And I seriously doubted it had anything to do with the lightheaded feeling the stain could give me if I didn’t remember to open a window while working with it.

  No, it was more than that. It was as if each stroke of the brush, the more stain I applied and was soaked into the wood, released some of the tension in me. It wasn’t only stain the wood was soaking up, but my own stress and issues.

  Too bad I had so many of them. At the rate I was going, I’d be staining keepsake boxes every night, all night, and blow through my whole paycheck getting more. Maybe it wasn’t the most manly project, but I didn’t care. I liked it and I’d never been all that craft-oriented of a person so it was something small to start out with.

  I flinched as I felt Sam coming, my heart filling with pain. It was pretty late, definitely not early enough to do anything but go to bed.

  And now he suddenly wants to spend time with me. Of course. I’m back and that’s all that matters to him about me. God, how stupid I was to think anything more.

  I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, careful of the stain. I was glad I wasn’t facing the door though so he couldn’t see that my eyes were burning or I was upset.

  “I’ve been looking all over for you,” he muttered as he stepped into the room.

  “Hey, Sam,” I whispered, not sure what else to say but wanting to acknowledge he was there so it didn’t look like I was being childish and ignoring him.

  “Hey,” he breathed as he moved closer, his body right behind mine as he looked over my shoulder. “What are you doing? Staining the box?”

  “Yup.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s unfinished wood,” I answered, not having meant to sound so standoffish but it came out that way. I heard Sam’s heart rate pick up as he sucked in a quick breath. Yeah, it sounded like a bitchy answer all right and he’d never gotten one of those from me. “I didn’t feel like going to bed yet.”

  “Oh, I meant I didn’t know you were into doing this,” he hedged, moving closer and putting his hands on my hips as he rested his head on my shoulder. “It’s a very pretty stain color. I like it.”

  I pulled away and leaned over to grab the cloth to wipe away the excess, but mostly I didn’t want his hands on me. “Yeah, thanks.”

  He took the hint and dragged over a stool, sitting down next to me. “When did you start doing this?”

  I wiped my eyes again and shook my head. I wanted to tell him he didn’t have to bother pretending to care or demand to know why he was playing with me like this. Instead I was too tired of hurting, the drama associated with wanting Sam, to start more so I simply answered. “A guy from the Denver coven took me to a craft store and showed me how to get the right stuff to use when I was looking for a project.”

  I felt him flinch, not sure what I’d said to get that reaction from him. “Why were you looking for a project?”

  “Theo was talking about how Cadric suggested he start taking more time for himself, find a hobby he likes even, and each project work through one issue on his mind. That way there’s a finite amount of time to settle that issue, work through it, and resolve it before moving on and letting it go. I thought it was good advice so I decided to take it too when I got to Denver and had some free time and didn’t really want to hang out much with others.”

  “Just that guy apparently,” he muttered.

  I shot him a disbelieving look. “You’re right, much better to sit all alone the entire time and wallow over your dumping
me without even having the balls to give me the dumping speech after I put out. Mark and I were on the different shifts and assigned to opposite sides of the coven. I barely saw him. I had no one. Jeremy was a good friend to me. Guess I’m not allowed to make friends.”

  “No, of course you are, that’s not what I meant, hon,” he blurted and then sighed. “Look, I’m sorry work took me away the first real day you’re back and I didn’t get a chance to see you even at meals. I’m trying to spend some time with you now. Do you want to just go to bed and try again tomorrow to talk?”

  My eyes burned as I stared at the box, my grip tightening so tensely on the brush I wasn’t surprised when it snapped. “No, you go ahead to bed, Sam. Alone.”

  “Jesus, you too?” he hissed as he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. “You are not just sex to me. I figured Lance made his shitty comment because he was an outsider, but I thought you’d know better. Know me better. Have you forgotten the time I had the chance to take advantage of you and didn’t? Hell, you kissed me like a little vixen and still all I did was heal you and take care of you. I’m not that guy, Bowie. Give me some credit.”

  “Then what do you want from me?” I whispered, confused and feeling like I didn’t know which way was up anymore. “Why bring up bed after only trying to talk for a whole five minutes and it didn’t go smoothly? What did you expect?” I yanked my face away, wincing when his short thumbnail sliced my chin open. “Just go, Sam. I want to finish this up.”

  “I’ll wait,” he rasped as I saw him hug himself out of the corner of my eye. I shrugged and wiped the blood off my chin. The project room was fair game to anyone so it wasn’t like I could kick him out.

  I went back to staining, very aware of his eyes on me, but still grateful for the silence. This project definitely wasn’t as relaxing or cathartic as the others had been while Sam watched me. It was so bizarre that he was bothering to stay even after my outburst. Part of me wanted to know the answers to my questions.