Stick Dog Dreams of Ice Cream

by Tom Watson

  “But all you have to do is open your—” Stripes began, but she was interrupted by Poo-Poo as well.

  “Really, I must insist,” he said. There was no meanness in his voice, but you could tell he took his water-finding role very seriously.

  Mutt, Karen, and Stripes all looked at Stick Dog. They opened their eyes wide and pointed toward the water sprinkler.

  Stick Dog said nothing. He simply nodded his head in recognition and raised his right front paw calmly. Together they waited patiently for Poo-Poo to finish.

  In a moment, he did. Poo-Poo lowered his head, opened his eyes, and then turned directly toward the yard where the little humans played in the sprinkler.

  “There!” he said triumphantly, and pointed. “I have smelled out our new water source. It’s over there!”

  Stripes, Mutt, and Karen just looked at Poo-Poo with blank expressions on their faces. They truly didn’t know what to say.

  “I know, I know,” Poo-Poo said, and smirked a little in an attempt at modesty. “It’s hard to understand, I know. I just have a talent for smelling out solutions like this. I can’t help it. It’s just a gift, I guess. Sometimes I can’t even believe the things I do myself.”

  Stripes, Karen, and Mutt still did not know what to say.

  So Stick Dog spoke up. “Sometimes, Poo-Poo, I can’t believe the things you do either,” he said. And then he added, “Great job.”

  Karen turned away from Poo-Poo and toward Stick Dog and asked, “How are we going to get to the water? Those little humans are all over it.”

  “What are they doing with it anyway?” asked Stripes.

  “I’m not sure,” answered Stick Dog. “Let’s get a closer look. Stay by the forest line.”

  Mutt, Poo-Poo, Karen, and Stripes followed Stick Dog along the edge of the woods. They snuck behind sticker bushes, cattail reeds, and tall, thick weeds. Soon they were staring out from behind a neatly stacked pile of logs.

  They stared for a few minutes without saying anything as the three small humans darted in and out of the spraying water. Safely concealed behind the woodpile, the dogs gathered around Stick Dog after this brief period of observation.

  “Okay, what are we looking at here?” he asked.

  Karen spoke first. “It’s raining up from the ground,” she said confidently and without hesitation. She motioned with her paws to demonstrate how the water rose up from the ground. “I believe somehow a small storm cloud has crashed into the earth in that yard. During the crash, it flipped over and is now raining up instead of down.”

  “All right,” said Stick Dog slowly.

  “Yes, that makes sense,” Mutt said. He was kind of mumbling because he was still poking his tongue between his teeth to dislodge the strings from that old gray sock. “Upside-down rain cloud. That’s it for sure.”

  “I don’t think that’s true,” said Stripes, who had another idea altogether. “I think the water is actually attacking them. Just look at it! It’s shooting all over the place trying to get them. And those little humans seem awfully frightened by it. They keep running up to it and then running away from it over and over again. Yep, it’s definitely a water-attacking machine of some sort.”

  Stick Dog looked through some of the cracks and cavities in the woodpile. The little humans were, in fact, doing exactly what Stripes described. But he didn’t think they looked very scared at all.

  This is when Poo-Poo spoke up.

  “These are not normal little humans,” Poo-Poo said. “They’re afraid of water, and they run around in their underwear. They’re bizarre—even for humans.”

  Stick Dog looked through the woodpile again. He saw one of the small humans walk to the side of the house and turn a knob. When he did, the water stopped spraying. After they each grabbed a towel from the grass and dried off, the humans went inside the house.

  “See? I told you they were a strange bunch,” said Poo-Poo. “Why would you want to dry off on a day like this? The wetter, the better, I say.”

  “Hey, where’d the water go?” asked Mutt.

  Karen shrugged her shoulders. “Stopped raining, I guess.”

  Stick Dog backed away from the woodpile and addressed the others. “I don’t think it’s actually a rain cloud, and I don’t think it attacks. It could be some kind of machine, though,” he said. “Let’s wait just a minute to make sure they’re not coming back out. Then we can run in and get something to drink. I’m sure there are still some nice-sized puddles there.”

  The others nodded along with this idea—and got ready to run.

  Chapter 5

  A WATER MACHINE ATTACKS

  They sprinted out of the woods and into the yard. They lapped at several small puddles in the grass.

  There were not as many puddles as they hoped. They were small in size too. And they were absorbed quickly by the ground—and evaporated by the heat of the day.

  “I think you were right, Stripes,” Karen said as she paced around looking for a puddle. She noticed the mechanical nature of the sprinkler. “I think it is a water-attacking machine.”

  Stripes was too busy drinking from a small puddle that was quickly disappearing to say anything, but she did nod and smile. She was glad to be correct.

  Stick Dog smiled too. He said, “I’m just glad it’s not attacking now.”

  When the few puddles were gone, Stripes and Mutt licked at the sprinkler itself as it continued to drip and bubble refreshing, cold water. Karen and Poo-Poo saw this and tried to nudge themselves in for a drink too.

  Stick Dog stood back. He noticed that his friends were bumping and shoving more than they were actually drinking. There was really only room for two dogs at a time.

  “Karen, Poo-Poo,” he called.

  They lifted their heads. This gave Mutt and Stripes ample room to continue drinking these few new drops in comfort.

  “What is it, Stick Dog?” Karen asked.

  “Follow that long, green tube that’s connected to this water machine,” Stick Dog said, and pointed. “It goes all the way to the side of the house. It looks like it’s dripping over there too.”

  This is exactly what Poo-Poo and Karen did. And even though they could see the end of the hose attached to the faucet at the side of the house, Karen and Poo-Poo did not run in a straight line to it. Instead, they lowered their heads and followed the hose along its path in the grass. It twisted and turned and looped all over the yard. When the two of them ultimately reached the side of the house, they were happy to discover water dripping where the hose connected to the spigot. This outside faucet dripped a single drop of water every second or two.

  Karen and Poo-Poo took turns lying on their backs. They opened their mouths and let the cool, clear water drip in. It tasted terrific, but it was an awfully slow process. Poo-Poo needed to keep his mouth open for nearly a minute just to get a full swallow. And for Karen, who had a much smaller mouth, it still took nearly thirty seconds.

  After a couple of turns each, Karen got an idea. She came closer to the spigot handle.

  “Poo-Poo,” she said. “Can you look at this for a minute?”

  After getting a mouthful of water and swallowing it, Poo-Poo stood up and came next to Karen. “What is it?”

  “I think this thing might control the water drips.”

  They both stood there at the faucet for several seconds, tipping their heads left and right in thought.

  “If it’s dripping a little, maybe we can make it drip a lot,” suggested Poo-Poo. “Maybe if you move it, some more water will drip out.”

  This made sense to Karen, and she nudged her nose against the faucet handle. It moved a half inch or so around, and it did indeed produce the desired effect there at the house. The drips came a little bit faster, but still not enough to provide a great thirst-quenching drink.

  “It sort of worked,” Poo-Poo observed.

  “Yeah, sort of.”

  “Maybe you should move it some more,” said Poo-Poo.

  Karen shrugged her sh
oulders and said, “Sure, why not?”

  She pressed her nose against the faucet again, but this time it didn’t move. She pressed a little harder, and it still didn’t move. She pulled her head back a couple of inches and bumped the faucet handle. It still didn’t budge. “It’s stuck,” she declared.

  “Stuck, huh?” Poo-Poo said, and backed several steps away. “We’ll see about that.”

  Poo-Poo lowered his head, tightened his shoulder muscles, and took six quick strides forward, bashing his head directly into the faucet. Not only did it move, the faucet handle spun freely. It made four or five complete revolutions.

  Staggering a bit to regain his balance, Poo-Poo joined Karen close to the spigot to observe. The water still dripped, but not a whole lot more than before—and certainly not as much as they thought it would after spinning around so many times.

  “Nothing really happened,” said Karen. “Strange.”

  Poo-Poo rubbed his head a bit on the ground to make it feel better. When he did, he noticed that the long green tube running between the spigot and the water machine had expanded. It looked as if it had filled up with something. It was a very curious thing, and Poo-Poo lifted his head to inform Karen about it.

  Except he didn’t get the chance.

  Do you know why he didn’t get the chance?

  It’s because he was interrupted by Mutt and Stripes.

  You see, way out in the yard at that exact moment they both screamed at the top of their lungs, “WATER ATTACK!! WATER ATTACK!! WATER ATTACK!!”

  The sprinkler had burst to life. It shot streams and sprays of water at full blast in every direction. Mutt and Stripes jumped up and down to get away from the watery onslaught. Every time they went one way to escape, the water machine changed its shooting direction. They ran in and out of the water sprays like maniacs. They bumped into each other, lost their footing in the wet grass, and generally did everything except get away.

  Stick Dog, who had not tried to nudge himself closer and closer to the dripping sprinkler like the others, was a safe distance away. He had been sprayed a couple of times at the very start but simply backed away a few steps to be completely out of range. He sat on his hind legs to observe Stripes and Mutt frantically leaping and smashing about. He found it both fascinating and amusing that they dashed in and out of the water sprays just like the three little humans had done minutes earlier.

  Now, to Mutt and Stripes it seemed as if they had been caught in the torturing water sprays for an eternity. But, in truth, it was only several seconds. During those several seconds, Stick Dog noticed the pattern and rhythm of the water machine. When the time was right and there was a brief opportunity for them to escape, he called to his friends.

  “Mutt, Stripes! Over here,” he yelled. He watched and timed the movement of the water patterns. “Now!”

  That was all they needed to hear. Blinking the wetness from their eyes, Mutt and Stripes made for the direction of Stick Dog’s voice as fast as they could. They sprinted and hurtled across the lawn. They quickly reached Stick Dog, sliding and stumbling to a stop at his side—safely out of reach of the still-spraying water.

  By this time, Karen and Poo-Poo had arrived as well. They had carefully circumnavigated the shooting water.

  “I told you it was a water-attacking machine,” panted Stripes. “That thing’s a monster. Why did that happen?! Why did it just come to life like that?!”

  Karen glanced at Poo-Poo. Poo-Poo looked at Karen. Stick Dog stared at them both.

  Mutt continued to try to work the sock strings out from between his teeth.

  “Why, Stick Dog?” Stripes asked. She was only now beginning to catch her breath. “Why did that monster come to life and attack?”

  Stick Dog had a pretty good idea about what had happened. The exchanged glances between Poo-Poo and Karen only confirmed his suspicions. He didn’t want Stripes to get mad at them. But Stick Dog didn’t want to lie. He really didn’t like lying.

  “Umm,” he said, trying to pause for time to think of something to say.

  And that pause worked out perfectly.

  That’s because, at that precise moment, a loud voice bellowed out of the house that the three little humans had entered.

  “Didn’t I tell you kids to turn off the sprinkler when you were done?!” an older human voice yelled from the house. The dogs could all hear it booming out of the open windows.

  “We did,” answered a younger human voice.

  “Well, somehow it has magically turned itself back on and is running up the water bill,” the adult yelled back. You could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn’t really believe in magic. “Get back out there and turn it off.”

  “All right,” the little human voice called. “Come on, you guys. Let’s go turn it off. Again.”

  That was all Stick Dog needed to hear.

  “The humans are coming,” he said urgently. “We have to get out of here.”

  Chapter 6

  IT’S TOTALLY ANNOYING

  They ran as fast as they could between the house with the water-attacking machine and the one with the badminton net. There, the dogs found several large lilac bushes arranged in a circle. The open space in the center of the bushes was mainly occupied by a big green metal box. There was still, however, plenty of space for the dogs to comfortably duck for cover.

  “Stick Dog?” Stripes asked a little nervously. She leaned gingerly against the metal box, not quite sure what to make of it. “What is this big green thing? Is it dangerous?”

  Stick Dog had seen boxes like this one before. It was large and had a screen covering three of its sides. On the side without the screen, this one had a sticker that read “Cool Breeze AC.” Stick Dog knew this type of box had a big fan inside that sometimes blew out warm air—and made the box shake and vibrate. It was not vibrating now though, and Stick Dog thought it was a safe place to hide—especially since it was surrounded by lilac bushes.

  “I think it’s fine,” replied Stick Dog. He was secretly thankful that Stripes no longer wanted to know why the water machine came alive just a few minutes earlier. “I don’t think it’s dangerous.”

  This made Stripes feel better, and she leaned more fully against the side of the box.

  “I’ve seen those things around in yards a lot,” Karen explained. “Humans grow plants around them to conceal them, I think.”

  “It makes a great hiding place,” Mutt commented, turning his head to check out the surroundings.

  “Oh, yeah. They’re really nice hiding spots,” Karen confirmed. “I always mark my territory whenever I find one.”

  At this, Stripes jumped immediately to her feet and lost all contact with the big green metal box. “You mean I was leaning where you—” she began to exclaim.

  But Karen cut her off. “No, no! Not this particular one. Just similar ones in the neighborhood is all.”

  “You’re sure?” Stripes asked.

  “I’m sure.”

  Stripes then relaxed and leaned against the metal box again.

  After the excitement of the water-attacking machine and the race to this hiding spot, they all calmed down a good bit. This respite did little to quench their thirst on this hot, hot day, however. And it was only a few minutes before Mutt said, “I’m still thirsty.”

  Poo-Poo, Stripes, and Karen immediately all said, “Me too!”

  Stick Dog nodded his head and looked at the sky. There was not even a hint of relief in sight. There was not a single cloud. There was not the slightest breeze. And dusk was still hours away.

  “What can we do, Stick Dog?” Mutt asked.

  “We came all this way,” said Stick Dog. “We might as well keep looking for another drinking source. Maybe we can find some more puddles or something. But before that, let’s do our best to relax here in this nice safe spot. Try not to think about being thirsty. Close your eyes and put your minds elsewhere.”

  Mutt, Karen, Stripes, and Poo-Poo all closed their eyes.

  S
tick Dog watched them.

  In nine seconds, Poo-Poo said, “I’m still thirsty.”

  Stick Dog tried again. “Come on, now. You can do it. Just relax and think of something else.”

  Again they all closed their eyes as Stick Dog watched.

  In seven seconds, Stripes said, “I can’t think of anything.”

  “Shh,” Stick Dog encouraged. “Try a little harder.”

  In twelve seconds, Karen said, “I put my thoughts elsewhere, Stick Dog, like you said. So I went for an imaginary walk in the woods. And while I was walking, I had to cross the creek. And that dumb creek was full of water, and now I’m thirsty again!”

  They all opened their eyes and stared at Stick Dog to await further instructions.

  Stick Dog tried something else.

  “Let’s all concentrate on something together,” he suggested. “I can hear some music off in the distance. Can you hear that? Let’s all listen to it with our eyes closed.”

  In six seconds, Mutt said, “That’s the most annoying music I’ve ever heard.”

  “Shh,” said Stick Dog.

  After another eight seconds, Karen added, “It’s totally annoying.”

  “Shh.”

  After eleven seconds, Poo-Poo said, “And it’s getting closer!”

  They all opened their eyes again when they realized Poo-Poo was right: The music was, in fact, growing louder and louder. It was as if the music was moving toward them.

  All the dogs—even Stick Dog—stood up and pointed their noses toward where the music came from. There was no doubt. The annoying music was getting nearer and nearer.

  “This is kind of scaring me,” Stripes whispered. The pace of her words picked up as she continued. “I’ve already been attacked by a water machine today. I don’t want to be attacked by an annoying music machine too. Let’s get out of here! I don’t care how thirsty we are. Let’s just go back to Stick Dog’s pipe. I’ll drink creek water; I don’t care.”