What If It's Right?

by J B Heller

  “You haven’t turned it into some creepy shrine, have you?” Nix joked from behind me.

  I laughed, “No, do you think I’m that crazy?”

  “Well . . .” Nix trailed off as she got a good look at what I’d done to the room. “Holy crap, Tory, what is all this stuff?”

  “My new workshop. I quit the surf shop about two months ago and I’ve been designing and creating jewellery from right here.” I explained as she walked around the room, her fingers gently touching some of the pieces that lay on the benchtop running along the wall against the window.

  “These are amazing, Tory,” she looked up at me, wonder in her eyes, “you made all this?”

  I nodded, smiling wide as pride filled my chest.

  Nix shook her head, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  Shrugging I went over to my storage unit in the corner, “I didn’t know if it would work out, and I didn’t want Finn to worry. But a couple of the boutiques in town have commissioned me to make pieces for them, and I’m actually doing better financially now then I was before.”

  When I slowly turned around and held out my hands to Nixie she gasped, “I made this for you. For the wedding.” I explained.

  “Oh Tory, it’s incredible.” She gushed as she fingered the piece gently. “I love it.” Then she threw her arms around me, pulling me into another tight hug. When she pulled back she was smiling, “Think you can make matching one’s for you and Beth?”

  “Of course!”

  A light tap on the door frame to my newly appointed workshop started me, making me drop the glass pearl I was threading through a thin piece of wire for my latest project. “Shit,” I muttered as I turned my head to see who had so rudely interrupted me.

  Weston leaned against the frame, his head tilted to the side, his thickly muscled arms crossed over his wide chest, watching me.

  I licked my lips and turned back to my bench, pretending to look for the errant pearl. “How long have you been standing there?” I asked over my shoulder.

  “A while,” he relied in a seductively deep tone.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried desperately to remember he was my twenty-two year old son’s best friend. A fact I’d been having to reminding myself of nearly every day recently.

  Before I could respond, I felt the heat from his body behind me then his arms came around my sides to grip the edge of my work bench. “So, we’re going to be partnered up for the wedding, huh. How do you feel about that, Tory?” his voice tickled my ear as he spoke.

  I had to force myself to stay still, not an easy task when my body was trying to make me lean back into his warm chest and relish the feel of his heat around me. “I uh—” I paused to steady my voice, “I’m undecided.”

  His chest vibrated behind me, as he softly chuckled, “You know what I think? I think you’re freaking out. I think you’re worried you won’t be able to hold back those looks you cast my way when you think nobody is watching. I think you want me every bit as much as I want you and you’re afraid.”

  Licking my lips, I glanced up at him, hovering over my shoulder. His eyes were full of lust and a tiny bit of mirth. He was playing with me. And that pissed me off. I took a steadying breath, “This isn’t a game Weston. This isn’t cat and mouse and I’m not running from you anymore.”

  He raised a speculative brow, “No shit, Tory. This is my life. This is our lives. And I’m sick of keeping it in neutral while you decide how this is going to go.”

  I gasped, “Me? I’ve told you this can’t happen, I’ve done everything I can to make it clear that there is no you and me. I don’t know what you’re waiting for, Weston, but don’t put it on me.”

  His body had gone rigid as I spoke, his hands clutched the bench at my sides tighter, until his knuckles turned white, “Is that why your body is quivering right now? Because there is no you and me? Is that why every time I see you, you lick those full lips and bite down on the corner as you try to look away before I notice you?”

  The vein in his neck pulsed as he ground his teeth together, then continued, “Is that why I can smell how turned on you are right now? You want me, Tory. I know you do, the only person you’re fooling here is yourself. I can’t do this shit anymore, Tory.”

  With that he pushed away from me with a shove to the bench and stormed out of the room, the back door slammed shut a moment later, and I let out the shuddering cry I’d managed to hold in while he was here.

  I slumped forward, resting my head on my folded arms, and began to cry in earnest.

  How had I let this happen?

  Five Months Ago . . .

  “Alright woman, spill.”

  I turned around to find Vera in the very place her son had stood just a few weeks earlier. “Hey V, what’s up?” I mumbled over my shoulder and kept working.

  The sound of Vera dragging a chair across the room grated on my already fragile nerves. When she plonked down beside me, I eyed her cautiously. We hadn’t had our weekly wine and dine in I couldn’t remember how long.

  I’d started pulling away from Vera when it became clear to me that I had developed feelings for her son. A wave of nausea rolled through me and I closed my eyes as I breathed through it.

  “What’s up? That’s all you have to say to me after I had to break into your house to see you? What’s up? That’s all you’ve got for me?” she glared at the side of my face and I sighed and began packing up my tools.

  She waited patiently as I set each pair of pliers in its correct spot and returned all the different beads to their containers. When I was done I turned my chair to face her. “You’re right. I’ve been a shitty friend the last few months and I’m sorry. I’ve had a lot going on and—”

  That’s as far as I got before she cut me off, “So why haven’t you come to me to talk it out? Isn’t that what we do? We talk our shit out? I bounce my shitty day off you, you bounce your shitty day off me, and then we drink wine and eventually laugh about it then move on.”

  My shoulders slumped, that’s how it used to be. Vera was my closest friend, and I’d betrayed our friendship by falling for her son. I felt every bit as awful as I clearly was.

  A tear slid down my cheek, “I can’t talk to you about this stuff V, that’s the problem.”

  She didn’t say anything for a minute, but I could feel her eyes on me. “Okay,” she finally said.

  Glancing up at her I could see she was thinking something, and I honestly didn’t want to know what. Vera wasn’t an idiot, and she knew her son well. Hell, she knew me better than nearly anybody. I had a feeling she knew what was going on, but was waiting for me to approach the topic.

  Unfortunately for her, that just wasn’t going to happen.

  After another moment of awkward silence, she rolled her shoulders back and said, “What about this new business of yours? You can’t talk to me about that? I actually bought one of your pieces without knowing it was yours.”

  “You did?” I asked, honestly shocked. Vera wasn’t the type to wear beaded jewellery. Ever since we met she’d worn the same gold chain necklace, and she regularly rotated her gold rings to make room for the new ones she’s acquired.

  She nodded, “I did.” Then she blushed, “I actually bought it for you.” She rolled her eyes and laughed, “Imagine my surprise when I showed Weston and he told me that was your logo on the tag.”

  I felt a twinge of guilt at not having shared my new passion with her, but I felt even worse at the mention of Weston. I sighed deeply, “Sorry, again. Shitty friend of the year award goes to me.” I joked.

  But Vera didn’t laugh, “Not yet it doesn’t, but if you break my son’s heart, it will.”

  Then she stood to leave, but paused by the door looking over her shoulder catching my stunned expression, but chose to ignore it, “I’ll be here for the wining and dining you owe me tomorrow night at six.” She shot me a wink and continued on her way.

  I sat there blinking at the doorway she’d just disappeared through, wondering if I�
��d just imagined that conversation.

  But true to her word, Vera arrived the next evening at six, letting herself in the back sliding door with two bottles of wine in hand. “Alright, let’s get the awkward shit out of the way first so we can enjoy this wine, huh?” she announced cheerfully, as she plonked the bottles down on the kitchen island between us.

  I frowned as I tried to find the words to apologise to my friend.

  “Don’t go looking like that, Tory. I’m not here to bust your buns, honey. But I need to lay it out so we can move forward. Okay?” Vera said, smiling.

  Why was she smiling like that? It was a smile I’d never seen her wear before, and I hoped I never would. It was a cross between the crazed smile of The Joker and the creepy one of the Cheshire Cat. “Uh, V, I umm.” I stumbled for the right words.

  She threw her head back and laughed at my obvious discomfort. “This isn’t funny V, and I think I’m going to need something stronger than wine for this conversation.” I muttered as I turned around to rummage through the cupboards looking for anything with a high alcohol content.

  I found a bottle of gin, grabbed it and two shot glasses then turned back to my clearly insane friend. “I don’t know if I should share this with you? I’m getting the vibe you already helped yourself before you came over.”

  Vera raised one perfectly sculpted brow, and crossed her arms, “If you saw the look on your face when I walked in here you’d be laughing too.” She muttered.

  “If I thought my friend was screwing my son, I wouldn’t be laughing.” The words tumbled out before I realised what I was saying.

  Vera went still, “So things have changed between last night and now?” she asked.

  I frowned, again, “No.” I drew the word out, wondering what was going on.

  She huffed, grabbed a stool and dragged it around to my side of the counter and commanded, “Sit.” Before returning to her own side and sitting down. She steepled her fingers as she waited for me to comply.

  Sitting down, I watched her as she grabbed the bottle of gin and filled both shot glasses to the brim, then carefully slid them both over to me. “I have a feeling you’re going to need this more than I will. I’ve had time to come to my conclusions, I’ve had time to process all the facts. You haven’t. So drink up.”

  Not wanting to see what she would do if I didn’t listen, I picked up the first shot and downed it. When that didn’t stop my nerves from trying to make an escape from my body, I followed it down with the second one.

  “Okay, here it is. Weston talks to me, you know that. I’ve known how he’s felt about you since he was seventeen.”

  My eyes widened and I swallowed back the gin that was trying to make a reappearance.

  “That boy’s been crazy about you for years. You know it, so don’t even try denying it. You also know it isn’t a school boy crush. He wouldn’t still be holding onto this if it was. He’s twenty-two Tory, he’s a grown man now.”

  Now that the gin had settled back in my stomach, I reached for the bottle and skipped the glass, putting it straight to my lips taking a swig right from the bottle.

  Vera rolled her eyes at me, “You’re being dramatic,” she said as she pried the bottle from my hands.

  “Hey, I wasn’t done with that.” I snapped.

  She rolled her eyes again, “I want you to remember this conversation, not pass out before I’ve said what I need to say.”

  Now I rolled my eyes, “When did you get so bossy?”

  “When my son came home looking like he’d just lost hope. I’ve been telling him for years that he just needs to wait, that when the time is right everything will fall into place. That hope kept him going, kept him motivated, but now it’s gone.”

  Blinking back tears, I processed Vera’s words. She told him it would work out? Why? I didn’t understand. “Did you think he would grow out of it?” I asked.

  “Haven’t you been listening to me? This isn’t a crush, Victoria. Weston is in love with you, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. So what are you going to do about it?”

  I jerked back, nearly toppling off my stool, I pressed my hand to my chest, “Me? I’m not doing anything. I keep saying no, I swear V.”

  Vera looked up to the ceiling and muttered something like, give me strength, then glared at me. “I know you have, honey. But you don’t want to. You’re making it more complicated than it needs to be.”

  Slumping forward I pressed my head to the cool bench top, “I don’t know what you want me to do? Are you telling me to stay away or to go to him? Because it sounds like you’re telling me I should be with him, but I don’t understand why. He could be my son.”

  Vera took a deep breath, “When did you get so stupid? He could not be your son. Ten year olds don’t give birth Tory. If you were Luke’s mum, sure, I’d be kicking your arse right now, but you’re not. Come on, Tory, you became Finn’s mother by default. This is different. And that’s why I’m okay with it.”

  My confusion had risen to unprecedented levels, I’d never in a million years thought that Vera would be okay with Weston and I being together. But here she was, practically shoving him in my face.

  “This isn’t normal motherly behaviour.” I stated, feeling like it needed to be said.

  Vera shrugged, “We’re not normal mothers, you and I.”

  “Too true,” I muttered then pushed myself up and eyed her, “So, just to be clear, you want me to do sexually perverted things to your son?”

  She shuddered, “If that’s what you two are into. I’d just like to state right now, before you get ahead of yourself, this is one relationship I won’t be requiring details about. As in, ever. I’m okay with you two doing the dirty, but I don’t want to know about it. Okay?”

  I laughed, “You’re so weird.”

  “I know, I accepted that a long time ago. Acceptance is the key to moving forward.” She mused.

  “Getting philosophical now, are we?” I teased.

  And just like that, the awkwardness was gone. Vera and I were back to normal.

  I had no idea what to do with what she’d told me, but it had taken a weight off my shoulders being able to talk to her again.

  Three Months Ago . . .

  Wedding plans were taking up a huge chunk of my time, usually it was the mother of the bride who played a big role in this sort of thing, but Nixie had insisted her mother wasn’t interested and she wanted my help. So here I was, eating my eighth sample of wedding cake just to make sure it was the right choice.

  “You’re going to make yourself sick,” Weston murmured from the seat across from me.

  We’d been getting along better in the last two months and I couldn’t help but think I had Vera to thank for that. Weston had stopped pushing me and we’d found the friendship we used to enjoy again.

  I grinned at him, “It’ll be totally worth it. Have you tried this one?”

  He raised a brow, “Yeah, that’s the one they decided on an hour ago yeah?”

  Nodding I shovelled another piece into my mouth, “Yep, I’m just doing quality control. You know, making sure each batch is consistently awesome.”

  Weston shook his head then reached over with his fork and stabbed a piece of my cake. He paused before licking his lips, then slowly opening his mouth and placing the cake inside. He closed his eyes as he chewed, and swallowed. A soft moan of approval vibrated up his throat as I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down.

  I was fixated, I couldn’t look away. The arsehole was messing with me. But I couldn’t stop myself from watching his every move. When he opened his eyes and caught mine, he smiled like the cat who got the cream. I narrowed my eyes on him, “Tease.” I muttered.

  His smile widened, “The offer’s always been open to you, Tory. You’re the one teasing me.”

  My eyes widened, “I am not.”

  He tilted his head to the side, and raised a brow, “Oh really? What would you call it then? I’ve been sitting here with a boner, watching you e
at cake for the last two hours.”

  I scoffed, “That’s what happens when you take Viagra instead of your multivitamin in the morning.”

  Laughter burst from his lips, “Viagra? You and I both know I’ve never needed help getting it up when you’re in the room.” The mirth had disappeared from his eyes, now they shone with lust and dirty thoughts.

  Swallowing hard I had to look away, otherwise I feared I’d launch myself across the table and ravage him within an inch of his life. And there were several reasons I couldn’t do that. One being my son sitting at the other end of the table, currently glaring at his best friend.

  “Please tell me you are not putting the moves on my mum again?” Finn groaned.

  Weston turned his attention to Finn, and grinned, “I’ve never stopped, Bro.” Then he winked.

  “Well maybe you should, at least when I’m in the same room. It’s getting harder and harder not to beat your arse every time you do it.” Finn grumbled.

  Weston simply shrugged in reply, “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks,” sarcasm dripped from Finn’s tone.

  I chose that moment to speak up, “Okay so now that I’ve sufficiently gorged myself on cake, can you place your order? Otherwise I’m going to keep eating and then you’ll be rolling me out of here.”

  Nixie laughed, but the tension between Finn and Weston was still in the air. Nix noticed and grabbed onto Finn’s arm and whispered something in his ear, whatever she said turned his attention back to her. And judging by the lustful way he was staring at her, I figured whatever she’d said was kinky.

  That’s when Luke spoke up, I’d completely forgot he and Beth were even here with us. I was so focused on the cake, then Weston, that I’d blocked everything else out. “Dude, he’s going to snap one day and break your pretty face.”

  Weston laughed, “Yeah nah, that’s not going to happen. He loves my pretty face.”

  Luke didn’t look convinced, “Yeah but, dude,” his eyes flicked to me then back to Weston, “she’s his mum. It’s a clear violation of the Bro Code.”