What If It's Right?

by J B Heller

  He nodded and picked up his mug and inhaled the rich hazelnut and coffee aroma. “Smells good. Thanks.” He drank a little then put it back down and proceeded to stare out the kitchen window across from us.

  “Weston,” I hedged, waiting for some kind of acknowledgment.

  “Hmm,” he mumbled but didn’t look at me.

  “Weston, it’s time. We need to go over there today. We need to start sorting out her things.” I paused when his entire body stiffened, reaching out I placed my hand over his, “I’ll be there with you the whole time. I promise.”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed past his emotions. “I,” he cleared his throat, “I don’t know, Tor. I don’t,” he heaved a heavy sigh, “I don’t think I can.”

  I got off my stool and stood behind him, wrapping my arms around his broad body and rested my head between his shoulder blades. “You can. I’ll be there beside you, every step of the way.”

  Tremors of suppressed emotion rolled through his body, and I held him still. Absorbing all the pain and hurt that radiated through him. I would take it all away if I could, but since I couldn’t I would do the next best thing- help him heal.

  We stood on the front porch of Vera’s house side by side. Weston made no move to open the door, so I slipped my hand into his pocket, removed the keys and opened the door myself.

  The air inside had grown stale and stagnant from being locked up for the past two weeks.

  I took the first step inside then turned back to Weston, took his hand and pulled him gently towards me. He grimaced as he came to me, then wrapped his arms around me so tight I could barely breathe.

  He squeezed a little tighter then loosened his grip, “Thank you. For everything,” he murmured into my ear, “I couldn’t have done any of this without you.” His voice thick with emotion as he spoke.

  “I would do anything to make this easier for you, anything at all.”

  Weston lifted his head so he could look me in the eyes. His gaze flicked between my eyes and lips. “Kiss me, Tory,” his voice trembled with pent up need.

  My body sparked to life, right there in the entryway of Vera’s house. I didn’t respond with my words, instead, I used my body. I slid my hands along his shoulders, up his neck, and into his hair, bringing his face down to mine as I reached up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his.

  This kiss wasn’t urgent, we didn’t hurry, there was no rush.

  I savoured the taste of him on my lips, the smell of him engulfing me. My fingers splayed out then fisted in his hair, urging him to take what he needed from me.

  And he did.

  His hands went to my hips and lifted me off the ground, he turned us kicking the door closed with his foot then pinning me against it with his firm body.

  “Weston,” I murmured against his lush lips.

  He pulled back briefly to gaze into my eyes, “Tory,” he whispered as his fingertips trailed down my cheek to skate across my lips. The torment and sorrow was still there in his deep eyes, but it had been pushed to the back, making way for lust and need.

  The hand that was still on my waist squeezed as he brought his mouth back to mine making me moan and arch my back, pushing myself further into him.

  Minutes or hours later, I wasn’t sure, Weston broke away from my lips and rested his head on my shoulder. I loosened my grip on his hair, and began to stroke my fingers against his scalp.

  He released a deep, contented sigh.

  “Come on, let’s get started.” I said softly against the top of his head.

  This time there was no resistance, he nodded slowly and stood to his full height. “I’m ready.”

  Four Weeks Ago . . .

  We had all banded together to clear out Vera’s things and the house was now up for sale. I’d questioned Weston about his choice to sell the house so soon, but he was adamant, that’s what he wanted to do. He’d said it was too hard to stay there without her. And I knew what he meant.

  I’d found it hard to stay in Jacq’s house, but I’d done it for Finn.

  Weston continued to stay at my place, and we still hadn’t crossed any relationship lines. In fact, we hadn’t kissed since the day we went to the house for the first time, two weeks ago.

  The right time to talk to Finn was becoming harder and harder to find. With wedding plans taking up a big chunk of my time, and my jewellery business growing I was struggling to catch my breath.

  But Weston never pushed about it. He didn’t even bring it up. And while that made it easier on me, I was beginning to grow desperate to cross that line with him. I wanted to hold his hand in public. I wanted to kiss him when he got home from work. I wanted to wash his back as he showered.

  Let’s just be honest here, I wanted to get down and dirty with him. It was pure torture sleeping in his arms every night without touching him the way I ached to. Without caving into my constant fantasies. And there were a lot of fantasies these days.

  I had never in all my life been this sexually frustrated.

  And I couldn’t do any of those things until I spoke to Finn. A perfect time wasn’t going to just present itself, and I realised I had to make the time for it.

  That’s when I began plotting, devising my plan of attack.

  Little did I know, Weston was also plotting, and coming up with his own plan to get our future as a couple on track.

  Two Weeks Ago . . .

  With the wedding just two weeks away my head was constantly spinning. With dress fittings, collecting RSVPs, confirming with caterers, finding the perfect pair of shoes, getting through make-up and hair style trials, and a million other little things that needed to be handled, I nearly forgot my own name.

  It was at this point that I was glad Finn was an only child. I wasn’t sure if I could go through all of this again.

  Weddings were the definition of stressful.

  But this one would be perfect, even if I had to nearly kill myself making sure of it.

  And unfortunately, that meant waiting until it was over to broach the topic of Weston and I as a couple until after it was all over.

  My body cringed at the knowledge that I would be waiting at the very least another two weeks to touch Weston. Which was actually four weeks in reality since Finn and Nix were off on their honey moon the night of the wedding for two weeks of newly wedded bliss.

  My high-strung libido screamed at me to throw my plan in the bin and go talk to Finn right now, so I could get my hot little hands all over Weston’s incredible body.

  But my brain refused to make these last few weeks till the wedding any more stressful on Finn than they already were.

  One Week Ago . . .

  I was sound asleep having another one of my fantastical dreams involving Weston straddling me, raining soft kisses and barely there licks down my throat, across my collarbone and—

  Wait, my eyes shot open to find my fantasy had come to life.

  Weston was hovering over me in bed, fire blazed in his eyes as they met mine briefly before returning his attention to my chest. My back arched as a needy moan was wrenched from my throat.

  He pressed his hips into me and I felt every inch of him, my body shuddered with appreciation.

  Then my brain woke up, and ruined everything.

  “Wait, you have to stop.” I whined.

  “You don’t sound very convincing, Tory.” He mumbled right before sucking my left nipple into the warmth of his mouth.

  My back arched higher and my hand flew into his hair, holding him there. And again, my brain spoke up. I swallowed hard, “Weston, we can’t. Not yet.”

  Ever so slowly he pulled back, “I know. Was just giving you a little preview of things to come.” He winked at me, then climbed off the bed and headed to my adjoining bathroom.

  I watched him go, in all his naked glory. I had to be insane to let that body out of my bed without having taken full advantage of the situation.

  That or I was a good mum? That’s what I told myself as I slid out of bed and
went to make myself a strong coffee, and hope that it would be enough to keep me away from the temptation currently washing off in my shower.

  The next morning Weston woke me in a similar way.

  This time he was running his talented tongue down my spine after sucking gently on my neck to come to rest against my arse. Then he bit it, and climbed out of bed and headed for the shower.

  I wanted to cry. My body ached for a release. I trembled with need and desperation. He was doing this on purpose. I guess he’d had enough of waiting for me to talk to Finn.

  Again, the following morning I was privy to another one of Weston’s many talents. And I couldn’t do a thing about it but lay there and enjoy it for mere moments before he would pull away and go shower.

  I was becoming a walking nightmare. I was wound so tight I snapped at the slightest thing.

  “Jesus, Tory, I’ve never seen you go off on someone like that before,” Luke said after I’d blown a gasket on the phone to the caterer.

  Dropping my head into my hands I sighed, he was right. I was taking my sexual frustration out on innocent bystanders. But I couldn’t help it.

  Weston grinned from across the table, “Anyone would think you need to get some, Tory. You seem tense.” He teased.

  My jaw dropped, oh hell no! “This is all your fault!” I accused.

  He feigned innocence, “My fault? What’d I do?”

  Luke’s ears perked up as he glanced between the two of us, Weston grinning like a fool and me glaring like I wanted his balls to fall off. And in all honesty, at that very moment, I did want his balls to fall off.

  I stood, leaned towards him and slammed my hands against the solid timber table, “You’re a pain in my arse, Weston Banks!”

  His grin widened further, “Glad to be of service.” He said with a wink.

  Steam was pouring from my ears, I was sure of it. I glanced around the surrounding surface looking for something, anything to inflict pain on him. Right as my eyes landed on a three quarter full bottle of coke, Luke’s hand shot out and took it before I could.

  “That’s mine. Here,” he handed me a bamboo stirring spoon, “use this, it’ll sting more.”

  I snatched it from him and went for Weston’s bicep, but he sprang out of his chair and took off out the front door, “That was a clear violation of Bro Code Luke!” he yelled as he ran away like a little girl.

  I mumbled obscenities under my breath as I sat back down.

  “For real though, Tory, are you okay? I’m not saying that Wes was right, because I’d never live it down, but you do look like you need to get laid.” Luke said.

  A frown wrinkled my forehead, then I had an idea, I turned my frown upside down and turned on a seductive smile. I batted my lashes at Luke and tilted my head to the side, “Are you offering, Luke?”

  Luke’s eyes bulged, “Are you for real?”

  I shrugged, “Maybe, it has been a while.”

  Before Luke could answer Weston marched back inside, “Oh hell no. Don’t even think about it!” he seethed at Luke, then turned his glare on me, “You’re not funny.”

  Now I was the one grinning, “Whatever do you mean?”

  He clenched his teeth, leaned forward and placed his clenched fists on the table between us, Luke completely forgotten. “You know what I mean, Tory. You. Are. Mine.”

  The possession in his tone made me shiver, placing my hands on the table in front of me I slowly stood, coming face to face with him. So close I could feel his breath on my lips. My tongue flicked out to wet my suddenly dry ones, “Not yet, I’m not. But soon.” I whispered against his mouth, then before I lost myself and kissed him, I spun on my heel and took off to my bedroom and locked the door behind me.

  Present Day . . . The Day of the Wedding . . .

  Weston hadn’t relented with his morning assaults until today, and that wasn’t by choice. Finn, Weston, and Luke all stayed at Finn’s place last night and Nixie and Beth stayed at mine.

  While it was a relief not having him amp me up even more, I had missed his presence in my bed through the night. I’d grown used to him holding me, and I found myself tossing and turning half the night trying to get comfortable without him.

  My eyes flicked open as the alarm blasted out Bruno Mars, Marry You at top volume. I smiled, today, after months of stress and grief, we would celebrate.

  My heart clenched at the thought of Jacq and Vera missing this day. I missed them both fiercely. But I knew deep down, they would always be with all of us. And just like she had at other times when I’d needed her most, I swear I could hear Jacq talking to me. Telling me how proud she was of me, and the life Finn and I had built without her.

  A single tear slid down my cheek, but it was in happiness.

  By the time I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower I could already hear Beth and Nixie rummaging around the kitchen, making coffee, I presumed.

  I showered quickly, well as quick as I could, considering I needed to shave everything- even though I’d had every inch waxed late last week. I just wanted to make sure everything was smooth as it could be.

  The dresses Nixie had chosen for Beth and I were similar to hers but not as poofy. In true Nixie fashion, our dresses were anything but traditional. And I loved them.

  They were strapless with plunging backs that were held together with laces. The bodice was snug to the waist then flared out in layers of tulle. Our dressed had hot pink bodices and the tulle alternated, hot pink and cream, ending at our knees.

  And Nixie’s, oh my god, Nixie looked amazing in her mostly cream dress. She refused to get married in white, so her dress was the opposite of ours. Where ours had the pink bodice, hers was cream and her layered tulle skirts puffed right out, like a true princess. Except with a flash of the pink tulle thrown in every couple of layers.

  All our dresses were the same length. Nixie wore hot pink open toe platform heels. And Beth and I had hot pink fading into cream heels in the same style as Nixie’s.

  When we were all dressed, hair and make-up ready and the photographer had done her thing, I took Nixie aside to have a quick chat before we left.

  “Nix, you know I already love you like a daughter, but I needed to thank you, before this day gets away from us. You have made Finn’s life complete. You gave him love when he needed it most, you Nix,” I paused to pull in a deep breath and pull myself together, “You make him happy. And I can never thank you enough for loving him like you do.”

  Nixie sniffled, “Thank you, but dude, you’re going to make my makeup smear . . . And neither of us know how to fix this crap so stop with the emotional speeches, okay? The makeup chick already left, and if you make me cry, I’m going to look like a racoon at my own damn wedding.”

  We laughed and hugged it out, but I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep my tears at bay. “You’d be the sexiest racoon bride there ever was.” I whispered in her ear before pulling away from her. She laughed again and I took her hand, “You ready for this?”

  Her eyes lit with excitement, “Hell yeah! Let’s go get me a husband,” she grinned.

  Pulling up at the entrance to the botanical gardens, the three of us shimmied out of the car. We could see the boys in the distance, standing under a huge raintree with hanging vases filled with flowers and candles, giving the old tree an ethereal feel.

  Beth and I moved forward to take our positions around the corner from the make shift aisle the boys had made using old timber pallets. Beth would walk down first and join Luke, then I, shit, I needed to pull myself together, I would walk down and take my place beside Weston.

  It had only been twelve hours since I saw him, but I’d missed him.

  Then the music started, and I took a deep steadying breath and listened to Teagan and Sara sing I Was Married. We’d timed the walk perfectly, so when the right word came, Beth began to walk down the aisle.

  And then it was my turn, as soon as I stepped around the corner my eyes shot first to Finn, he looked fantastic in a tailored n
avy blue suit with a hot pink tie. My eyes watered up, my boy was all grown up. And what an incredible man he’d grown to be. Pride swelled in my heart.

  Then my eyes moved to the man beside him, Weston. He was absolutely breathtaking. His eyes appeared even darker in the navy suit. And he only had eyes for me, they bore into mine and my breath hitched. My mouth was suddenly dry, my heart lodged in my throat, and my mind fully consumed by him.

  When I reached him, he took my hand and looped it through the crook of his elbow. At his touch a spark of electricity ran through my entire body, making me feel dizzy. Then his fingertips grazed my cheek, and I shuddered.

  “You look incredible, Victoria.” He whispered.

  My heels brought my height up closer to his mouth now, and I could feel his erratic breathing against my skin. He was clearly as effected by me as I was by him, and it made my smile widen.

  Before I knew, it the ceremony had started and finished and the celebrant was proclaiming Finn and Nixie Mister and Missus Finn Dixon.

  After posing for a million and one photos, we were on our way to the reception. My skin was flushed from the constant feel of Weston’s eyes on me. He threw his arm around my shoulder when we climbed into the car that would drive us, “I can’t not touch you.” He murmured against my throat as his lips pressed little kisses there.

  Awareness shot through me, I wanted his touch, so much, but I still hadn’t spoken to Finn.

  For a brief moment I closed my eyes and enjoyed his touch, letting my head roll to the side, giving him better access to my neck.

  “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” his husky voice whispered while nibbling on my ear lobe. Then his hand took mine and brought it to his crotch.

  My palm pressed against what was without a doubt an impressive hard on. I couldn’t help it, my fingers tightened around his length, but my words contradicted my actions, “I can’t, we can’t, not yet.” I moaned.