My Immortal Playlist (The Siren Collection #1)

by St. Clair, Julius

  “Lucas might need some time. That’s all.”

  “Take all the time you need,” Noah said.

  “But not too much,” Elliot interjected. “Alex, those people you brought into our home. I take it they were part of Blood Snow?”

  “They were.”

  “And what would stop them the remaining members from gathering a mob together and storming this place?”

  “I don’t think –“

  “Any of those six people could have called one of their friends and let them know where they were going. They could come to investigate, especially since their leader is dead. And this also doesn’t take into account what Lucas’ next move will be. He may side with his former friends.”

  “But they tried to kill him.”

  “They did, but the rest of Blood Snow may not know that. Lucas could easily go back to the world he was ejected from and walk into a greater position of power than ever before. Not only that, but his first move in charge could be exacting revenge on the monsters who murdered their former leader.”

  “Lucas is trying to change. He doesn’t want that lifestyle anymore.”

  “It’s all he knows, Alexandra,” Elliot said softly. “And since he may feel that he no longer has you, he may deal with the devil he knows, rather than the one he doesn’t.”

  I ran out the door.

  I didn’t think of it as a possibility. That I might force him back to the man he used to be. It’s the last thing I wanted. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t with me. To some extent, I didn’t eve care if he came after me. I deserved it. I could deal with the suffering.

  But I needed him to be happy. I couldn’t let him become another one of my victims. I was done hurting people.

  I ran and ran but I didn’t know where. I had no clue where he and his aunt lived, but I needed to find him immediately. So I turned to the only place I could. I went to Margaret’s.

  She opened the door with a cry of joy and hugged my neck before I could protest.

  “You’re early! Oh my goodness, you really are excited to spend time with me!”

  “I am. I am,” I said, “but…”

  “Oh, no.”

  “Margaret, I really need your help. I need to know where Lucas lives. I have to talk to him. It’s urgent. Do you know where I could find him?”

  “I might,” she huffed. “But we were supposed to have a girls’ night.”

  “I know. I promise I’ll make it up to you. How about I spend this whole weekend with you?”

  “We’re going to go see Zombie Kisses again then,” she said with a stern face. She was testing me.

  “Sure,” I said weakly.

  “And we’re going to shop,” she declared. “We’re going to get you a new wardrobe, and we’re going to talk about what you were doing in that ridiculous outfit earlier, and you’re going to do your absolute best to enjoy every moment…and you’re paying for ice cream.”

  “Whatever you say,” I said in a hurry. “Now please. Tell me where I can find him.”

  “Oswald Street. Third ranch house on the right. I hear his aunt gets irritable at times so be careful.”

  “Thank you so so much,” I cried, hugging her back. I think it was the first time I ever did that. Leaving her on her doorstop in shock, I took off, bare feet and all. After a few minutes, I wished I retrieved my car in my grievous state.

  It took me twenty minutes to reach the house and I hoped that he would be home. It didn’t sound like he and his aunt had a great relationship so it was possible he only went there to sleep, but I had to try.

  The ranch was small even by ranch house standards. It was more like a studio apartment than a house, and I could only imagine how much tension could arise from he and his aunt being in such close proximity to each other.

  The lights were all off, and not even a motion detector flashed on when I approached the front door. The walkway was made of gravel and unkempt weeds sprouting out of the top. The lawn was dying more than any other on the street and the leaves had actually begun to fall on this property.

  I gave a light knock and waited to hear any movement, but there was none. I knocked a few more times, but no one came to answer. If someone was home, they were either deep asleep or ignoring me.

  I sighed and turned to leave when I caught movement in the darkness. Coming up the walkway was Lucas, his head down and his entire body looking so sunken and heavy, it was like he had been caught in a monsoon.

  “Lucas,” I whispered, and he raised his head. His eyes widened when he saw me standing there, but he didn’t move towards me or run away. It was like he had just seen a skunk jump out in front of him. I approached him slowly.

  “Lucas, I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out to him. “I…I know I should leave you alone right now, but I just couldn’t. I hope you can forgive me. Lucas, I don’t want you to go back to that old life. Please don’t do it.”

  “Who said I was?” his voice was so rough, it was like his throat had been sore for days. I put my hand down.

  “You were trying to change yourself, and I realize that I might have messed that up. You…you put so much trust in me, and you poured your heart out, and I didn’t handle it delicately. I was wrong about tonight. I wish you had never met me…”

  “Cut it out,” he said, moving closer to me. “Don’t say things like that.”

  “But then you wouldn’t be hurting. You –“

  “I would be dead right now,” he said to me abruptly. “I would have died tonight. And if tonight, it would have been soon anyways. Those guys would have come after me eventually. You saved my life, and no matter what you are, I can’t forget that. Come with me.”

  He reached out to me, and I took his hand before he changed his mind.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “The bridge,” he said, and I didn’t question him any further. We walked in silence, hand in hand. It took ten minutes to get there, but it felt like seconds. There was a warmth to the way he held my hand that I wasn’t willing to let go of yet. It wasn’t firm as if he was angry with me. It wasn’t soft as if he was disgusted. It was just right. A tender yet urgent grasp.

  A clutch that he released once we hit the bridge’s edge.

  I could hear the river from below, gently rustling up against the rocks below. The moon had begun to be the sole light in the dark town, and now a breeze had begun running its fingers through my hair. Lucas took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, making sure it was secured tight. We walked on the bridge until we hit the middle of it, and then he slapped a hand against the slab stone.

  “Sit here,” he ordered, and I obeyed without question, caring little if a push off the bridge would be my fate. I couldn’t ask for a better ending. Between the tranquility, the stillness of the air and illumination of the moon lightly brightening the trees and darkened houses on the horizon, it was one of the few times I felt at ease. One of the few times I wasn’t afraid of anything.

  I dangled my feet over the edge, and watched the water below without any thought to what Lucas was doing behind me. He was deathly quiet, and I almost wished he would push me off onto the rocks below. I would deserve no less after all the atrocities I had committed. Even now, I didn’t deserve his love and comfort.

  And yet, that is what I received.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, watching what I watched, and taking a breath of the crisp air with me.

  “I’m not mad at you for not telling me,” he whispered into my ear. “I understand why you didn’t. Why I shouldn’t have watched…and I…I know this sounds terrible, but…I was actually sad that Reign died.” He stopped to chuckle. “What kind of junk is that, right? Mourning an old friend that…that was going to put a bullet through my head…and he was going to do it after making me watch him and my girlfriend…” he paused to scoff. “It’s ridiculous.”

  “So I’m your girlfriend now?” I said to the open air. He chuckled and rubbed his
chin on my shoulder.

  “I don’t know,” he said truthfully, and I was okay with that. “But I will say this. As long as I can help it, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You’re not going back to that old life?”

  “No,” he said in my hair. “Not at all.”

  “And what about us?” I was afraid to ask, but I had to. I had to know.

  “I would like to know more about…what you are. You said you were a Siren?”

  “Yeah,” I said quickly. “But I didn’t choose to be like this. I was born this way.”

  “And you have to kill to survive?”

  “I do…I don’t’ know why you would want to be with a girl like me knowing –“

  “– I’ve had to do the same,” he said. I looked over at him. “Except,” he continued. “It wasn’t to survive. I did it for Reign. For others in the gang. Sometimes for me. I’ve killed seven people since we started Blood Snow, and not one of them was out of necessity. I never went out of my way to do it, but to keep my reputation, or to exact revenge…I killed people for sure.”

  “I wasn’t sorry for what happened to Reign and the others,” I said. “And if given the choice, I would do it again.”

  “Hmm,” he said, looking back over the water. “But…you’re okay with that? Knowing I did those things?”

  “It’s not what you did that matters. It’s what you do right now that defines who you are. You can’t change the past, but you can shape your future.”

  “That’s easier said than done.”

  “I know,” I whispered. “I get confused sometimes…on what I should do. I know that my feeding on others is a part of my nature, but then my human upbringing tells me how wrong murder is, and I feel like I should be damned for what I’ve done. That I don’t deserve happiness, or friendship, or love. There are tons of people out there who don’t get those things, and they are much better people than I am.”

  “People kill each other all the time,” Lucas replied. “And many more would if not for laws and punishments in place. Don’t put them on a pedestal. You may not deserve any of those things you mentioned, but neither does anyone else. We just have to be grateful when it comes our way, and hold on to it. We may not get another opportunity.”

  “You really think this could end well? You and me?”

  “Two killers? One of them being a mythological creature? Hell no,” he laughed. “But until that ending comes, we might as well enjoy the ride. That’s all life is. You make the most of it, and then you die.”

  “But where do we go from here?” I asked him. “I still have to feed eventually…”

  “And the old Lucas isn’t completely dead,” he said. “We’re both still trying to change, but we’ll figure it out. I haven’t done anything illegal since I moved to Casper. That’s a start.”

  “And I actually fed on someone bad for once. I guess that’s…a start.”

  “For once?”

  “My roommates back there…they were former boyfriends of mine. Exes that I performed the ritual on.”

  “Are you serious?” Lucas looked up at me the best he could while staying behind me.

  “Yeah,” I said, biting my lip. “One of them is a vampire, and two are zombies. They’re the ones who took out Reign’s other men.”

  “You all live together?”

  “Yeah, that’s kind of weird, isn’t it?” I grimaced.

  “Super weird,” he said flatly. “But…it’s been one of those nights.”

  “You think Reign’s other men back in Blaketon will come after us?”

  “Definitely,” he nodded. “But not for a while. They’ll be sorting out the pieces of what happened. Devising a strategy. They have to choose a new leader. That will take time. Not that I’m worried about you anymore. I’m the one that’s going to need the protecting.”

  “I guess I can fit you into my bodyguard schedule. I think I can have you watched for one hour every Tuesday.”

  “Thanks,” he laughed, nestling his chin back onto my shoulder. “And what is the payment, if I may ask?”

  “You already know,” I said, brushing back my hair in the wind. He reached up and our lips met. And I could feel him smiling as soon as we touched.

  There was no ulterior motives. No prepping. No pain or heartache or regret to worry about afterwards.

  Just fireworks.

  TRACK 15 – The Boyfriend Blues

  “I would like to introduce you formally to Elliot, Henry and Noah.” Lucas took a step forward and offered a hand for them to shake but only Noah accepted. Henry kept his arms crossed and Elliot was Elliot, still brooding on the foyer stairs and staring at Lucas like he was a piece of meat.

  “And what plans do you have for our Alexandra?” Henry asked, leering at him.

  “Would you guys cut it out?” I said. “He’s our guest.”

  “Uh-huh,” Henry replied, arms still crossed.

  “Lucky, I think that -,” Elliot said from the stairs.

  “– It’s Lucas,” I said.

  “Don’t care,” Elliot said, closing his eyes and sighing. “Lucky, I take it you have full understanding of Alexandra’s heritage and what this means should you two decide to carry out this ridiculous course of action?”

  “Um…yes,” Lucas chuckled. “I’m sorry, does he always talk like this?”

  “You get used to it,” Henry said. “It probably helps if you read classical literature and watch reruns of shows about the 1800’s. I do neither, so I have no clue what he’s saying half the time, but it would be good for you to get to know us all. We are the only family Alexandra has.”

  “She doesn’t like to be kissed on the shoulder,” Noah offered, and I slapped a palm to my forehead. “What?” he said. “He should learn from my mistakes.”

  “Yes, we’ve all dated her,” Henry said. “So we can tell you all the dirty details, but first, let’s hear more about you. Just how many girls have you slept with in the past?”

  “I hardly think that’s appropriate,” Lucas chuckled, but then he saw the seriousness in my face.

  “I would actually like to know,” I said with a stern glare.

  “But that’s all in the past,” he said, looking back at Henry. “It’s what you do now that defines you.”

  “If you don’t answer our questions,” Henry huffed. “I will have Noah kick you in the groin. Do you have any idea how hard a vampire can kick? Let me tell you. You will be in such agonizing pain that you will beg me and Elliot to eat you, you will – “

  “– I would never lay a tooth on him,” Elliot gagged. “He shampoos with that dollar store generic brand. I can smell it from here. Body wash too.”

  “Do you mind?” Henry said, turning to Elliot. “I’m trying to threaten him here.”

  “And you’re doing a splendid job. I will make sure you get two cookies tonight after dinner, and a gold star on the big boy chart.”

  “Yeah so these are the guys,” I sighed, shaking my head slowly. "They’re very sweet when you get to know them.”

  “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Noah said and the two zombies groaned.

  “Well, guys,” I said to them. “It’s been a long and eventful day. If you don’t mind, Lucas and I are going to retire.”

  “And sleep in the same bed!” Elliot gasped. “But you’re not married!”

  “Elliot, we’re just going to sleep. Literally. I –“

  “Not in this house!”

  “This isn’t your house.”

  “It’s our house.”

  “Yes, but not yours. We are all equal here, and my equal side is saying that he can stay here for the night. Come on. It’s not like I have guys over all the time.”

  “We’re all the guys you need,” Henry said, and I held up a hand for him to stop.

  “Please don’t say that again,” I winced. Lucas took a deep breath.

  “Maybe I should just see you tomorrow,” he whispered to me.

  “No! Don’t go!” I cried ou
t, but he looked back at the guys and then at me.

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re going to kill me in my sleep.”

  “I was,” Henry replied.

  “For the record,” Noah stated. “I was only going to help with the clean-up.”

  “Yeah, I’m out,” Lucas said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow in school.”

  “Okay,” I whined as he left and shut the door behind him. I scowled at them all. “I swear on everything I love, that you better wear earplugs tonight because I’m going to be casting spells until each of you are ground into dust and then I’ll bake a cake with your ashes!”

  “Yeah, right,” Noah laughed. “We all know you can’t cook.”

  I clenched my fists together and shrieked so loud that they all scattered. Henry grabbed Elliot’s arm and tried taking him upstairs but it only ripped off, leaving him stranded before me. Elliot waved his last limb at me. I pointed at him in a threatening way before I left the room for the kitchen. I don’t care if they were all technically dead. I would find a way to make it untechnical if I had to.

  * * *

  When we walked into the cafeteria hand in hand, the attention on us was so high, we might as well have been royalty. They were probably wondering what was going through my mind. How I could be intertwining fingers with such a bad boy. Little did they know that it was he who tamed the beast.

  “Hope it’s not like this the whole time,” I said as I heard a few people whisper my name in astonishment. Lucas laughed, and we continued forward until we hit my usual lunch table. Margaret’s jaw dropped, but Theresa started twirling her hair faster than ever as she checked him out. Crystal tried not to make eye contact, and Justin came out of his slumber just long enough to fist bump him. Once Lucas made contact, Justin’s head flopped back onto the table. Lucas sat between me and Margaret.

  “Looks like we have a new member,” Margaret cleared her throat, then muttered, “and no one consulted me.”

  “Everyone, this is Lucas,” I said, rubbing his upper back. “We’re going out now. He’s my boyfriend.”

  Theresa nodded and kept staring at him. Lucas extended a hand out to Crystal.