One and Done

by Melynda Price

  He stopped and turned toward her, arching a dark brow. A smile played at his lips, flashing those ridiculously sexy dimples. “You want me to carry you the rest of the way?”

  Yes, please. The thought of being cradled against his hard body as he hoofed it up the hill was a tempting offer. If she wasn’t so sweaty and gross, she probably would have taken him up on it. “I’ll live,” Autumn grumbled, trudging past him. When she didn’t hear his steps behind her, she stopped and glanced over her shoulder.

  Huh…guess she wasn’t the only one staring at asses. “Coming?” she asked innocently, trying to hide her grin.

  As Autumn turned back around, she could have sworn she heard him mutter under his breath, “I wish…”

  After fifteen more minutes of some pretty intense climbing, they finally reached their destination. No wonder this wasn’t on any tourist map, half the vacationers would probably have keeled over trying to get here—definitely not a selling point. But then they rounded the bend and the trail opened into an expanse of lush green grass, pocked with wildflowers. The whoosh of running water pulled her attention to the left and oh, wow…there was a gorgeous waterfall emptying into a large pool.

  “Balen, this is absolutely incredible.”

  Honestly, she was at a loss for words to adequately describe the picturesque scene before her. She turned to look at him and her heart skipped a couple of beats. The man watching her was as beautiful as the view.

  “Yeah, it’s not easy to get to, but once you’re here…totally worth it. The remote location helps keep most of the tourists away. Not a lot of people are willing to tackle the climb.”

  “I can see why. But you’re right,” she said, stepping into the soft overgrown grass and heading toward the waterfall. “Totally worth it. Is it okay if I jump in and rinse off?”

  “Be my guest. We can do whatever you want.”

  Was that an open-ended invitation or was she hearing what she wanted to hear? Because she’d have been lying if she said she wasn’t tempted to take him up on it. She reached the water’s edge, about to jump in, and her confidence began to falter. This wasn’t like a lake where the water was a low, gradual slope. Through the crystal clear water, she could see the bottom of the pool, but it was impossible to judge how deep it was.

  “You all right?”

  “Umm…” She bit her bottom lip, a little uncertain to ask, but she wanted to rinse off. “Would you mind coming in with me? I can’t tell how deep it is.”

  He smiled. Man, she loved that flash of perfect teeth and those dimples. They could have melted the most jaded of hearts and hers wasn’t as immune as she liked to believe.

  “Sure.” He slid the backpack off his shoulder, unzipped it, and pulled out a large plaid blanket. After spreading it on the grass, Balen set the bag down and started pulling off his clothes.

  As Autumn removed hers, she could tell he was trying not to stare but, every once in a while, she’d catch him stealing a glance. She, on the other hand, didn’t even try to hide her appreciation as Balen stripped down to a pair of board shorts. If those trunks hung any lower on his waist, they’d be revealing the whole package instead of just the muscular v of his hips. If he noticed her staring, he ignored it. Then again, he was probably used to women ogling him.

  “I’ll get in first,” he offered, coming over to her. “That way you can see how deep it is.” He hopped into the crystal water and turned toward her, holding out his hands. He was enveloped up to his chest and she made a quick mental calculation of how high that would be on her. “Come on. You’ll be fine.”

  Her hesitation was more habit than fear, and she realized this was the first time she’d been near the water since the day she’d nearly drowned that she could honestly say that. Balen made her feel safe—protected. It was something she hadn’t experienced in a very long time and dearly missed. Autumn returned his smile and reached for his hand, but he stepped closer and took hold of her waist, lifting her up and gently lowering her into the water.

  Having Balen’s hands on her bare skin sent a jolt of desire lighting up her nerve endings. He seemed oblivious to the effect his touch was having on her. As Autumn’s feet settled into the sandy bottom, a pang of disappointment swept through her when he let her go. It was the perfect excuse to let them linger and steal a maybe not so innocent touch, perhaps even a kiss. She wanted Balen’s mouth on hers again.

  That kiss the day before had been amazing—like panty-melting, heart-stopping amazing. The feelings Balen awakened in her were a cauldron of excitement and uncertainty. She was caught in an internal battle between the need to reinvent herself and being unsure if she was ready to take that leap. If she thought bungee jumping off a bridge was scary, it was nothing compared to the nerve it would take to plunge into Balen’s bed. But, the more time she spent with him, the more her reservations waned. Their chemistry seemed to have its own gravitational pull and her attraction to him was starting to get the better of her.

  She was pretty confident he felt it too, but to his credit, he seemed to be doing a better job of fighting it than she was. Then again, maybe he wasn’t. He had kissed her, after all. Twice—but who was counting? He’d also been the one to implement the “no sex” stipulation when they’d agreed to spend the week together. Had it been for her benefit? Was he taking the high road of morality? Balen didn’t exactly strike her as an overly-integrous person. Then again, what did she really know about him? Admittedly, not a lot. But during their brief time together, she’d learned one important thing—there was more to Balen Kroft than met the eye. She never would have taken him for a man who didn’t believe in love. And she never would have imagined they shared the bond of betrayal. Who in their right mind would cheat on this guy? He was absolutely gorgeous, and fun, and adventurous. Basically, from what she’d seen, an overall decent human being.

  It was funny—not ha-ha funny—that she could look so objectively at Balen’s situation and see that the fault did not lie with him. She didn’t think less of him for what happened with his ex and found him no less worthy in spite of it. So why, then, did she have such a damn hard time not blaming herself for Alex’s betrayal? Why was she letting his infidelity erode her self-worth? She was the only thing standing in her way of moving on and yet she couldn’t seem to get out of the road.

  Not for the first time, she found herself wondering if this man wasn’t the answer. She couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to have Balen Kroft making love to her. No, she clarified, shutting down any such romantic notions. Guys like Balen didn’t make love, they fucked. Love didn’t factor into the equation between her and him, no matter how much her heart may haunt her with what ifs. A better question to ask herself…what would it be like getting fucked by Balen Kroft? Autumn wasn’t sure, but the more she thought about it, the more she was certain she that she wanted to find out. Balen was using her. He’d as much as admitted it the night before. Would it be so wrong for her to use him back? Could she do it and keep her emotions in check?

  Unsure of what to do, she opted for the safer choice and began washing off in the cool, refreshing water. “How deep does the pool get?” she asked, making conversation to distract herself from the direction her thoughts seemed to continuously take her.

  She glanced up at him when he didn’t respond and caught him diverting his gaze. Busted. He’d been watching her run handfuls of water over her arms and across her chest. Maybe Balen’s thoughts weren’t as platonic as he’d like her to believe.

  “It gets deeper closer to the falls.”

  “Could I still touch?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  She held out her hand, giving him a daring grin. “Let’s go see.” She wasn’t worried about the depth of the water as long as he was with her. It was the perfect excuse to touch him again. He accepted her hand and together they waded closer to the falls. His grasp was secure and comforting as the water inched higher.

  “You never told me why you have such a fear of the water.
”

  She didn’t want to, either. Bad memories didn’t belong here. The place was too perfect, too serene. “I don’t like to talk about it.”

  “If I knew what happened, it might help me understand how to help you.”

  Autumn wasn’t sure how this would entice Balen to kiss her. But she didn’t want to shut him down by not answering him. “There’s not a lot to tell. I was eleven years old. Summer’s parents owned a house on the lake and I was staying overnight there. Her cousins were over visiting her older brother. I had a crush on one of them—Garrett, I think his name was. Anyway, they all decided it would be fun to swim out to this raft anchored near the middle of the lake. I was too embarrassed to tell them I couldn’t swim. From the shore, the raft didn’t look so far away. I thought I could make it. I was wrong.”

  He stopped short of the falls. The rushing of water was loud enough they had to talk over the white noise. A cool spray misted over them as he turned and studied her. The concern in his eyes told her he knew where this story was headed. He confirmed it when he said, “You tried to swim to a raft when you had no idea how, just to impress a boy?”

  Well, when he put it like that—

  “Damn, Autumn. You could have died.”

  She almost did. “As we headed out, I kept trailing farther and farther behind, but no one noticed. They were all at the raft by the time I realized I was in trouble. I panicked and tried to turn back, but the water was too deep. I went under.”

  Balen cursed, dragging a hand through his hair.

  Talking about it brought memories flooding back like it was yesterday. Anxiety spiked her pulse. “I heard a splash from beneath the water. I was struggling to reach the surface and I remember hoping, praying, someone had seen me, that they would reach me in time. I held my breath as long as I could. My lungs felt like they were on fire. I took a breath and that’s the last thing I remember until I woke up with Garrett’s mouth on mine and I was choking up a bunch of lake water.”

  “He saved your life.”

  “Yep. Saved my life and gave me my first kiss all at the same time. Lucky me. Though, it was nothing like the kiss I’d imagined getting.”

  He chuckled at her poor attempt to lighten the mood. She didn’t like talking about that day. Not only because it had been terrifying, but she’d been so incredibly stupid.

  “I suppose not. I’m sorry your first kiss had to be so traumatic.”

  She shrugged. “It was my own fault. Kids do dumb things. Unfortunately, mine almost got me killed.”

  Balen took her other hand, giving them both a reassuring squeeze. Holding her gaze, he said, “Well, I promise by the end of this vacation, you are going to know how to swim. Now, as for the kiss…”

  He let his thought trail. Infuriating tease. “What about it?” she pressed, desperately wanting to know what he was going to say. Would he offer her a tutorial in that as well?

  “It’s a skill you’ve mastered just fine. I don’t think you need any help in that department.”

  It was the opening she’d been waiting for. Should she go for it? She’d never know unless she tried, right? Autumn stepped closer and let go of his hands, slipping her arms around his neck. Something dark and warning flashed in his eyes, sending a thrill of excitement skittering through her. Standing on her tiptoes, she whispered near his lips, “You know what they say. Practice makes perfect.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Holy hell. Was she seriously coming on to him? He’d been busting his balls all goddamn day to keep his distance. Now she was flirting with him, practically begging him to kiss her. And she wouldn’t close that last breadth of distance either. Little tease… Nope, she stared up at him with those oceanic doe-eyes, waiting for him to step off that cliff. Well, if he was going over the edge, he sure as hell wasn’t doing it alone.

  Autumn did something to him he couldn’t explain any more than he could control. And the last thing he wanted to do was frighten her again. Bottom line, he didn’t trust himself with her. He wanted something from Autumn he knew damn well she wasn’t prepared to give—even if she didn’t realize it—and quite honestly, she was playing with fire.

  He hadn’t expected her near-death experience to bother him as much as it did, or to evoke such an instinctively protective response, much like that morning-after fiasco they’d had over her little One and Done stunt. Sure, in that story she’d been just a kid, doing something stupid to impress some boy—and she’d nearly died because of it. Had she always been so impulsive and reckless? Considering her story now and his experience with her that first night, he’d be willing to bet the answer to that question was most assuredly yes.

  Perhaps he should give her what she was asking for and scare her straight. Would she finally learn her lesson? He doubted it. This woman was thirty years old. It was unlikely she’d change now. Autumn was a complete enigma—a dichotomy of bold yet vulnerable, courageous yet uncertain, and fuck him if she didn’t play both sides of that coin like a pro. It made him wonder if Autumn Harris had any idea who she was. On the outside, she was put-together, self-assured, and maybe even a little frosty. But the more time he spent with her, the easier it was to see that beneath the surface, was a woman struggling to break free from her past, and those old demons had a tight hold on her.

  He knew all about breaking free, and the courage it took to make that happen. Maybe it was for that reason he respected the hell out of her. And because of that admiration he wouldn’t—couldn’t—take advantage of her like this. But as he stood there telling himself all the reasons he needed to back away, her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, threading through the longish strands and curling them around her delicate fingers as she stared up at him with blatant desire reflecting in her eyes.

  Those eyes… He could get lost in them. Who was he kidding? He could get lost in her. His chest tightened uncomfortably, a subtle ache blooming there that sent a jolt of alarm skittering through him and tamping down the lust firing through his veins. He could not get emotionally attached to this woman. Not only was she leaving in three days, but he and relationships did not mix.

  His lifestyle, his career…it just wasn’t conducive to them. Unfortunately, he’d learned that lesson the hard way and it was one he didn’t care to repeat. Not to mention he was hardly ever home, traveling from one end of the world to the other for surfing competitions. Balen having the week free to spend with Autumn was pure luck. In fact, he was flying to Half Moon Bay for the Titans of Mavericks competition the day after she was scheduled to leave.

  And all this castigating was a moot point anyway because Autumn had no idea who the hell he was, and if he did tell her the truth, which he had no intention of doing, he was pretty sure that would be the end of their good times pretty damn fast. Unfortunately, his reputation preceded him and Balen didn’t think it would take very long for Autumn to find out about his less than stellar choices of late. If she’d been willing to bail on him over the misunderstanding about Monica, then he was damn certain she’d be done with him over this. And maybe that made him a selfish prick. It was a role he’d been playing so long he’d lost sight of the man he once was. Regardless, Balen wasn’t ready for it to end. It didn’t matter that he knew it couldn’t go anywhere. He just wanted more time with her.

  “Balen, is something wrong?”

  How long had he been standing here staring at her while he waged this internal war, those gorgeous lips a few scant inches from his, just waiting for him to break and lower his head, sealing both their fates because, now that he’d had a taste, he wanted all of her.

  “Can I be honest?”

  “Please do.”

  There was no mistaking the tension that stole over her or the note of hesitation in her voice as she untangled her fingers from his hair and slowly lowered her arms. He caught her before she could step back and looped his arms around her waist. He was glad she didn’t try to resist.

  “If I kiss you, Autumn, I’m afraid I’m not going to
be able to stop. I know I startled you yesterday when things got…intense. And I don’t want that to happen again. So if it seems like I’m holding back, it’s because I am.”

  She looked surprised by his honesty. At least he told her the truth about something, right? She certainly deserved it. Especially since there was so much else he wasn’t being upfront with her about.

  “I appreciate you being honest with me, Balen. I despise lying. After what I’ve been through, it’s just not something I can forgive. Trust is difficult for me. I think you know that. And I know it doesn’t make any sense, but even though we haven’t known each other very long, I feel like I can trust you. You had the opportunity to take advantage of me the first night we met and you didn’t. When you sensed I was uncomfortable with the pace things were going yesterday, you stopped, and I have no doubt that you would do so again if I asked you to. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not worried. You don’t scare me.”

  Well, at least that made one of them, because what he was feeling was scaring the ever-loving hell out of him.

  “Do you come here often?”

  Autumn pulled a grape off the bundle and popped it into her mouth. She lounged on the blanket across from him, lying on her side, head propped up by her hand as the sun dried all that glorious crimson hair in waves he ached to dive his hands into. She was a sight that would take any man’s breath away. She couldn’t know the control it took to sit here with her, watching the sun kiss her goosebumps when he wanted to be the one licking her flesh and melting them away.

  “Not a lot.” Balen took a gulp of Merlot, wishing he had something stronger. He’d packed them a light lunch of cheese, crackers, grapes, and a bottle of wine. Needing the distraction, he diverted his attention to the scenery behind her. “Are you familiar with Greek mythology?”

  “Not really.”

  “You’ve heard of Aphrodite?”

  Autumn nodded, taking a sip of her wine. “I think everyone’s heard of her.”