“Stop it!” She playfully cuffed his shoulder and he began to laugh. “It’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.” He pulled her to him and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. “You ready for that swimming lesson now?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not really.”
Chapter Twenty
“Autumn, you didn’t!”
Summer erupted into another fit of laughter and Autumn wondered why she subjected herself to this kind of humiliation. Probably because they told each other everything and she of all people would understand Autumn’s moment of temporary insanity, being as that was how Summer lived her life.
“I did. I said, ‘fuck it’ and took my top off right then and there—dropped it in the sand and ran before he could stop me.”
More laughter. “‘Fuck it?’ Those words actually left your mouth?”
“They did. You should have seen the look on Balen’s face. He totally didn’t think I’d do it.”
“I so wish I would have been there! That’s not like you.”
“I know. There’s just something about this guy that makes me want to do crazy shit. Being with him is like hanging out with the male version of you.”
Summer’s laughter suddenly died and silence filled the line. “Holy shit, Autumn. You’re falling for this guy.”
Was it that obvious? Somehow admitting it out loud made it all that more real and she wasn’t ready to go there, not with herself and certainly not with Summer. “I’m not falling for him,” she denied as if it were the most ludicrous thing she’d ever heard. “Even if I wasn’t leaving in two days, which I am, he doesn’t even believe in love. What kind of a moron falls for a guy like that?”
Besides me…
“You do.”
Shit.
“It sounds like you like him, Autumn. I mean really like him. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I’m not going to get hurt. I told you, we’re just friends.” But even as she said the words, they tasted false.
“With benefits?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, then…what are you waiting for? That would be the mother of all ‘fuck its,’ right?”
It certainly would. Balen was stirring feelings in her, desires she wasn’t sure she was prepared to deal with. Out there in the sea, when he’d playfully slapped her ass, a shudder of desire had rippled through her core like an earthquake, and she was still feeling the aftershocks. Then he’d run his hand over her stinging bottom and the tips of his fingers grazed achingly close to her sensitive folds. She hadn’t been able to concentrate on a single part of her swimming lesson.
Her bottom still stung with the phantom pain of his hand connecting with her ass. She hadn’t even known she liked that kind of thing, which made her wonder, what else would she like. Her experience was so limited and Alex had been so vanilla, she honestly didn’t know. And now she was hanging out with fricking Rocky Road Delight—without a spoon.
“You’re attracted to him, right?” Summer cut into her fantasy of Balen’s hand swatting her backend while the other fisted in her hair. He really seemed to like her hair.
“Insanely,” she confessed.
“Then quit wasting time. It’s not like you have a lot of it left.”
Don’t remind me…
“Where is he now?”
“In the shower—”
“Perfect! Get naked, slip in there, and give him a blowie.”
At Summer’s classy suggestion, Autumn closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to erase the image from her mind as her body began to heat. Her core clenched with need, her nipples tightening to sensitive buds. “I think I’ve been daring enough for one day.”
“Chicken.”
“Cluck. Freaking. Cluck.”
Summer started laughing. “So, what’re you two doing tonight?”
“We’ve got that sunset catamaran.”
“Oh, the dinner cruise. I was so excited for that. It’s going to be so beautiful. Send me lots of pics.”
“Sure.”
“And don’t forget to put one in your book.”
“I won’t.”
“K. Call me tomorrow. Love ya. Bye.”
Autumn sat on the edge of her bed a moment, trying to calm her racing heart. The sexual tension between her and Balen was becoming unbearable. Was he trying to drive her crazy? Or maybe he was a man of his word and he intended to stick to his vow of no sex. Maybe he was waiting for her to make the first move because of what an epic fail their first sexual encounter had been. Maybe “epic fail” was too strong of a word, because, although that night remained like Swiss cheese in her memory, the parts she could recollect had been incredibly hot. It was enough to tease her with the possibility of the best sex of her life.
Perhaps she was going about this all wrong. Maybe she should ask herself WWSD—what would Summer do? And then just go for it. If there was ever a time in her life to reinvent herself, this was it. This morning had been fun—doing something wild and crazy and completely unpredictable—until her superego had caught up with her id and she’d had a mini freak-out.
Of course, Balen had been great about the whole thing. What was she talking about? Balen was great, and maybe that was the problem. It was no longer an issue of did she want to have sex with the guy? It was more a matter of could she? Could she cross that line with him and still hold onto her heart? Dare she risk it?
After what she’d heard on the beach, she had no doubt Balen would rock her world and then walk away without so much as a backward glance. At least she didn’t have to worry about his feelings getting hurt in any of this. Leaving was his M.O. It was just her own heart she’d have to contend with when it was all over.
Ugh… Why couldn’t she be more like Summer? She had no problem going through men like toilet paper. She never let her emotions get involved, so why did this have to be such a big deal for Autumn? It didn’t. Not if she didn’t let it. Maybe her friend had a good idea. Perhaps she should sneak into that shower, get down on her knees, and go for it. The thrill of shocking him, and the temptation to be daring was addicting. She wanted to make him as crazy for her as she was for him. She wanted to take the upper hand, because being with him day after day was turning her into a hot mess.
Rallying her nerve, she stood, took a deep breath, and left the bedroom. Don’t think about it, just do it. The mantra was playing through her head as she snuck down the hall and into Balen’s bedroom. She pulled off her tank top and dropped it on the floor. She wore no bra, another daring move she never would have done back home, but she liked the freedom. And if she was being honest with herself, she enjoyed watching Balen struggle to keep his eyes above her neck.
Her shorts went next as she headed for the attached bathroom, and then her panties hit the floor. Autumn’s heart hammered inside her chest. She couldn’t believe she was about to do this. If she stopped to think about it, she’d chicken out for sure. Just as she was reaching for the door, the pipes let out a little squeak and the water shut off. Shit! Autumn panicked. Spinning around, she grabbed her clothes off the floor and dashed out of the room. She quickly pulled her tank top back on and was hiking up her shorts when she realized she’d left an important article of clothing behind.
Shit! Shit! Shit! Autumn ran back down the hall and into Balen’s room. There it was, her black lace thong lying in front of the bathroom door. She started to run for it when the door suddenly swung open. Autumn skidded to a stop beside Balen’s bed and he froze in the doorway, surprised to find her in there. A white terry towel was loosely tucked around his trim, narrow waist. It sat low enough to showcase those divots of muscle at his hips that instinctively dragged her gaze to the bulge barely hidden behind the cloth. The outline of his generous length resting against his left thigh sent a rush of feminine awareness racing through her.
Her eyes nervously darted to her panties lying less than a foot from his bare feet, and God help her, his g
aze followed. Balen’s brow arched in question. Her mouth suddenly went dry. As the silence stretched between them an audible click filled the air when she tried to swallow.
“I think you dropped something…”
To her horror, he bent down and picked up her thong, letting it dangle from his finger.
“First your bikini top and now your panties? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re trying to tell me something, Autumn.” Then he shrugged. “If that’s the way you want to play this…” His hand dropped to the tucked corner of his towel and her protest caught in her ash-dry throat, coming out as a startled squawk when he gave the end a sharp tug and let the terry cloth fall to the floor.
Ho-ly shit. She felt like a deer caught in the headlights. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe as her eyes fixed on the most perfectly honed specimen of male flesh she’d ever seen. It wasn’t fair. No one should be this beautiful.
She was supposed to be the one shocking him, the one with the power. But as Balen stepped toward her, there was no mistaking the predatory glint in his eyes or the dominant grace in which his powerful body moved across the room.
Fight or flight was kicking in, sending her heart crashing against her ribs. What the hell was she thinking?
“Balen…” She instinctively took a step back, bumping into the edge of his bed and losing her balance. Her bottom connected with the mattress and her hands shot out behind her to keep from falling flat on her back.
Amusement laced his deep, throaty chuckle. “I’m curious to know why your panties are on my bedroom floor. Tell me, Autumn, is this a game to you? Are you trying to break me? Because I can tell you right now, I’m not that strong.”
“I…dropped them.”
“I can see that. Why were they off you in the first place?”
This was every man’s wet dream… A hot, panty-less woman sprawled on his bed. The million-dollar question was, what exactly did Autumn want from him? They’d agreed no sex, but was she ready to change the rules of engagement? After the little stunt she’d pulled this morning, it was impossible to predict. The woman kept him guessing and, truth be told, he liked it. Who was he kidding, he liked her—plain and simple. But he was quickly discovering that nothing was simple when it came to Autumn Harris.
If they did this, could he keep an emotional attachment out of it? His dick said abso-fucking-lutely. Neither one of them had any interest in putting themselves out there again. At least that was what he told himself. Better off keeping feelings out of the equation. Instead of thinking too hard on what a liar he was, he focused on the fact that there was a gorgeous woman lying on his bed and her thong was fisted in his hand.
Damn, he’d love to know the story of how those panties ended up on his bedroom floor. He could feel her attraction to him, see it in the way her eyes devoured him. And yet, at times, he could sense the struggle taking place inside her as she fought to let go of old hurts. If he were to ever give love another shot, which he had no intention of ever doing, it would be with someone like Autumn. Correction—it would be with Autumn.
Her oceanic gaze took a slow leisurely peruse down his chest, over his abs, and then lower. Everywhere those beautiful eyes touched was like an erotic caress. He stood there a moment, letting her look her fill. By the way her pupils dilated and the hot pink flush that stole over her cheeks, he could tell she liked what she saw. Instinct clamored to claim her, but he knew from previous encounters that, when it came to this woman, he had a hard time controlling his passion. She might not be used to his brand of fucking, and considering her two-year hiatus, perhaps he would be wise to put her in the driver’s seat and see where she took them. Curiosity convinced him to give it shot.
“You want to touch me, don’t you?”
It was an invitation more than a question. Her stare fell to his cock, and when she subconsciously licked her lips, a pained groan rumbled deep in his chest. No way. Down, boy. It was wishful thinking—nothing else. No way in hell was this hot little redhead eyeing him like a lollipop.
She nodded and he held out his hand. She tentatively grasped his and scooted off the bed. Standing there in front of him, he was never more aware of how tiny she was. The top of her head didn’t quite clear his shoulders, making it easy for her to avoid his stare and right now he wanted to see those beautiful eyes so he could know what she was thinking. He was left guessing as she raised her hands, her fingertips gently touching the tops of his shoulders. Her caress was feather-light, skating across his collarbones. It was innocent enough, yet everywhere her fingers traced sent a charge of electricity right into his nerve-endings. God have mercy, she was going to be the death of him. Autumn had yet to fully touch him and already his heart was hammering inside his chest, his breaths quickening with his body’s increased demand for oxygen.
Her leisurely exploration traveled down his arms and back up, then over his pecs. Oh, fuck... She was imprinting herself on him. Suddenly, Balen was second-guessing the wisdom of giving her the reins. Everywhere her hands traveled, she seared herself into his memory, making his body crave her touch like a drug.
Her thumbs slowly traced the divot of muscle in the center of his chest then crested to slowly drag over the flat discs of his nipples. A current of pleasure shot straight into his cock and it bucked impatiently for her attention. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, exhaling a deep breath as he struggled for restraint. What the hell had he gotten himself into?
He wanted to touch her, taste her, to set the exploring pace that would be a hell of a lot faster than the torment she was putting him through. What was his problem and why was he having such a hard time controlling himself with her? Women touched him all the time. He was used to being pawed by impatient, demanding hands. And maybe that was the rub… Autumn’s touch held none of the greedy, selfish urgency he’d become used to. She touched him like she owned him, like she had all the time in the world to explore what belonged to her. And that thought should have scared the hell out of him. Instead, the fullness in his chest grew as an odd warmth invaded his heart.
Her exploration continued and he wasn’t sure how much more he could stand. Her touch was growing bolder, a little less graceful as her hands traced the muscular roadmap of his stomach and followed the trail south where they found the divots of muscle at his hips.
He nearly lost it.
“These are so sexy…”
Her confession was barely more than a breathless whisper he could hardly hear over the thundering of his pulse. She was so close to his cock. He’d never ached more for a woman’s touch than he did at this moment. He’d never begged for it before, but the words were on the tip of his tongue and he had to bite his bottom lip to hold them back.
Please, baby, take hold of my cock. Part those gorgeous lips and let me slide across that soft, wet tongue…
A tremor wracked his body with the force of his restraint, his hands curling into fists to keep from reaching out and tangling in her hair to guide her to her knees and end this delicious torture. If he had his way, he’d strip her bare, bend her over the bed, and be buried balls-deep inside her little quim in thirty seconds flat. But he’d made her a promise, one that might possibly be the death of him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lust was quickly drowning out the last echo of reservation. How did Balen know she needed this, needed the freedom to touch him, to explore and get comfortable with his body. And damn, was it one hell of a body. Unarguably, this guy was every woman’s fantasy. And here he was—all hers… Well, for the time being, anyway.
Unpleasant thoughts tried to invade her conscience but she pushed them aside, refusing to allow doubts or insecurities to ruin the moment. She couldn’t think about Balen being with anyone else, though it was an inevitable conclusion to their story. What mattered was this moment—and right now he belonged to her.
That knowledge, spurred on by a healthy dose of possessiveness she had no right to feel, emboldened her to do what she’d been working up the cour
age to do for the last thirty minutes. She couldn’t resist sweeping her thumbs over the V at his hips one last time before taking his solid length in her hand. Soft as velvet and hard as steel, she firmly gripped him, gliding her thumb over his crown and slicking the evidence of his arousal down his shaft.
“Oh fuck…”
The need in his voice became a palpable ache she felt deep in her core.
“Yes… Autumn, don’t stop.”
She pressed her lips to his chest and felt Balen’s pulse pounding. His breaths quickened as she moved lower, tracing the mapping of muscle across his stomach with her tongue as she slowly went to her knees. Perhaps she couldn’t remember her first night with him, but she was damn determined neither one of them would forget this one.
As she worked his erection, Autumn slowly licked that delicious V of his hips. Balen’s hand shot out to the headboard, the wood creaking in protest of his grip. His other hand slipped into her hair, cupping the back of her head as the most sexy, masculine groan rumbled in his chest. She expected him to get pushy, to try to guide her a little to the right, but he didn’t. His fingers just massaged the back of her scalp, twisting and tangling in her hair until he was fisting her fiery tresses.
Deciding to give him what she knew he wanted but wouldn’t ask for, she parted her lips and took him deep. He inhaled a hiss through clenched teeth and exhaled a vividly graphic curse. His grip on her hair tightened and tremors of excitement shot through her at both the vulnerability of her position and the power she seemed to hold over him.
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