Balen let her set the pace as she took him to the back of her throat. It had been a long time since she’d been on her knees for a man, and doing this with Balen was an incredibly erotic experience. He stirred her in ways no one ever had before, which was slightly alarming considering this thing between them had a closely approaching expiration date.
It wasn’t long before he used the grip he had on her hair to pull her away. What was he doing? She wasn’t finished with him yet—far from it. “What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong?”
He appeared surprised by her question as he lifted her to her feet. “Wrong? Autumn, if you do anything more right, I’m going to break my promise and fall in love with you right here and now. That mouth of yours is absolutely going to wreck me.”
She knew he was kidding—about the falling in love part, anyway—but just hearing him say those words, even in jest, shouldn’t have made her pulse quicken like it did, or her heart warm with emotion she had no business feeling for this guy. It was just a blow job, not a marriage proposal, for crissake.
Before she could respond, his hands cupped the sides of her face. For the briefest moment, his gaze met and held hers and the emotion she saw reflecting back at her had to be wishful thinking, but it melted something inside her anyway. His fingers threaded into her hair as he bent his head and kissed her. His tongue plundered her mouth, claiming her in a kiss so deeply possessive and somehow erotically tender, she felt it all the way to her soul—which was not where she should be feeling him. There were a lot of places she would like to feel him, however, but that one was off limits.
Startled by her emotional response, she was about to pull back when he suddenly broke away, whispering against her lips, “Your mouth is my new favorite place in the whole world.”
She laughed. “Your favorite place, huh?” She took the opportunity to lighten the sexual tension building between them. This felt too intimate. If they were going to keep messing around like this, and she absolutely wanted to, she was going to have to figure out a way to disconnect her emotions—fast. And without the aid of alcohol, that was going to be easier said than done.
Balen smiled, flashing those irresistible dimples, and backed her into his bed before pulling up her top. “For now.” He kissed her bare shoulder and cupped her breasts, his thumbs teasing her sensitive nipples. “Give me a little time and I bet I can find a new favorite place.” His deep, throaty chuckle sent a little tremor right into the place she was hoping that would be.
Balen tugged off her shorts and laid her back on his bed. Starting at her ankles, he slowly began kissing his way up the inside of her leg. “Am I getting warmer?”
She loved his playfulness. It helped put her at ease as she battled the nervous butterflies he woke with his touch. She had no problem touching him. It was the other way around, the loss of control, that was making her a little uneasy.
“Are you looking for my favorite spot or yours?” she teased.
“Mmm…” The throaty vibration of his chuckle sent darts of pleasure arrowing into her core. “Good point.”
His lips were grazing the inside of her thigh when his cell on the nightstand began to vibrate. If he heard it buzzing, he gave no indication of it. He was getting close to ground zero and she needed to decide if she should alert him to the call or let him continue where he was heading. The cell stopped. Dilemma solved—until the humming vibration started up again. Shit…
“Balen, your phone’s ringing.”
“Let it ring,” he whispered against her flesh, before sweeping his tongue between her sensitive folds.
The jolt of pleasure that shot through her was electric. Her lungs seized in a startled gasp and when they finally released their air, it was to moan his name with unguarded abandon. Holy hell, having Balen Kroft between her legs was absolute paradise. His wicked tongue was relentless, giving her no choice but to surrender to the pleasure he was offering.
“Oh yeah. I definitely found it,” he growled against her silky flesh. Driving his point home, Balen slipped two fingers deep inside her and stroked that sweet spot he seemed to instinctively find. Her body tensed, her core poised to shatter. “This is definitely my favorite place.”
That was all it took. A few pumps of those skilled fingers and that talented tongue on the bead of her sex… The sound of his voice and those sweet words pushed her over the edge. Autumn’s release swept through her like an explosion, hurtling her into mind-numbing bliss. Her fingers curled in his hair as she came so hard his name was a broken cry on her lips. As the final tremors echoed in her core, Balen slowly began kissing his way up her stomach. He paused at her belly button and a ticklish giggle escaped her. She tried to wiggle away but he caught her hips, dragging her back to him with a playful chuckle.
“Stop…” Autumn tried again to push him away but his grip on her was too strong. The dominant undertone of their little game excited her as Balen easily wrestled her into submission. Her laughter was interrupted when his cell went off again. “I think you need to answer that.”
He didn’t look pleased by the idea. Nor was he making any move to do so.
“What if it’s something important?” she pressed as he dipped his head and kissed the divot at the base of her throat.
She could hear the frustration in his exhale as he lifted his head. Keeping one hand on her wrists he’d trapped above her, Balen reached over and grabbed his cell off the nightstand, swiping his thumb over the screen. “What?”
Balen made no attempt to disguise his impatience. He held the phone to his ear, listening to whoever was on the other line as he resumed his oral assault. He kissed her breasts, teasing her turgid nipples with his tongue. He’d just pulled the peak into his mouth, giving it a firm suck, when he suddenly froze. Tension filled his body as he slowly lifted his head, a knot of dread forming in the pit of his stomach.
“You can’t take care of this?”
The curt impatience of his tone mirrored the scowl on his face.
“Well, try harder, dammit!”
The sound of breaking glass echoed through the line and Balen swore. Letting go of Autumn’s wrists, he climbed off the bed and began hunting for his clothes. He grabbed a t-shirt, boxer-briefs, and shorts out of his duffel bag and proceeded to attempt to dress with one hand while he held his cell to his ear. Autumn picked up on his cue and scooted off the bed, quickly pulling on her clothes. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed they’d been interrupted. Just her luck. The first time in over two years she finally decided she was ready to have sex and it didn’t happen.
“You know what, Connor, that’s not very helpful right now. Where I am isn’t important.”
Autumn froze. What did he just say? That being here wasn’t important?—i.e. she wasn’t important? Well, what they’d just been doing had felt pretty damn important to her. Maybe more than it should have and obviously was to him.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up the phone, tossed it on the bed, and finished dressing. It didn’t take him long now that he had both hands free. He was completely locked down. Zero emotion was getting through that stoic mask as he grabbed his cell and stuffed it in his pocket. He snatched his keys off the nightstand and was almost to the door before he suddenly stopped. As if she were nothing more than an afterthought, Balen turned back around. Three steps had him standing in front of her, framing her face with his hands. He tipped her chin, forcing her to meet his stare but she couldn’t disguise the hurt.
He wasn’t letting her go and she had no choice but to meet his eyes. When she did, Autumn wasn’t sure she liked what she saw. Regret—undisguised and undeniable. The question was, did he regret what had just happened between them, or leaving her? She couldn’t know and she sure as hell wasn’t going to ask. Besides, she’d already gotten her answer when he’d told Connor he wasn’t anywhere important.
“I’m sorry, Autumn. I gotta go.”
Swallowing down the lump of emotion lodged in her throat,
she said, “Don’t worry about it, Balen. It’s not important.”
If Balen’s mind wasn’t already on the shit-show going down at his house, it wouldn’t have taken him so long to catch the significance of what Autumn had said just before he’d rushed out. It’s not important. He’d thought it a strange thing to say, until it clicked with him why she’d said it.
Oh, shit...
He considered hitting the brakes and whipping Connor’s Jeep around, but he was almost home, and the quicker he wrapped this shit up, the sooner he could get back and apologize to Autumn in person for being an insensitive prick. He hadn’t meant it the way it sounded, but of course she would have taken it that way. Where I am isn’t important. Female interpretation: you’re not important. Balen wasn’t a relationship guru or a woman genius by any means, but contrary to his recent actions, he wasn’t a total fucking idiot, either. Autumn was finally opening up to him. She was starting to trust him, and this was how he repaid her leap of faith?
Goddammit. Balen grabbed his cell from his pocket. “Hey, Siri. Text Autumn.”
“What would you like to say?” the feminine voice asked.
“I’m an asshole.” Send.
Seconds later Siri responded. “Tell me something I don’t already know.” He glanced at his phone to make sure Autumn had truly responded and that Siri wasn’t just being a smartass. Nope, that was Autumn. Awesome...
“I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t important.” Send.
“It’s fine. In two days I won’t be.”
Two days… He quickly did the math and cursed. Where had the last five gone? Did she honestly believe she didn’t matter to him? What kind of a douchebag did she think he was? They didn’t have a lot of time left and it pissed him off that he had to deal with this bullshit when he could be with Autumn right now—on top of her, underneath her, behind her... He didn’t particularly care, as long as he was inside of her.
Before he put too much thought in his response, Balen told Siri, “That doesn’t mean you won’t be important.” Send.
For the longest time his cell was silent. He was pulling into his driveway when Siri finally responded, “Maybe this is for the best. I don’t want to get hurt, Balen.”
What the hell was that supposed to mean? He parked the Jeep, cut the engine, and closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he pinched the bridge of his nose. She doesn’t want to get hurt? Well, neither do I…
That was why they’d set boundaries, laid the ground rules: No sex and no falling in love. So then why, all of a sudden, did it feel like Autumn was changing the game? As he got out of the Jeep and slammed the door, the thought occurred to him that maybe she wasn’t the one changing anything, and perhaps he’d made more than one promise that day he couldn’t keep.
Before Balen could digest that disconcerting possibility, the front door flew open and a different redhead came bounding down the steps and raced toward him. Seconds before impact, one final thought took precedence in his mind. Fuck me…
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Balen!”
Monica slammed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing the shit out of him like they were long lost lovers reunited. To say he felt nothing would have been a lie. There were a lot of emotions churning inside him—resentment, disgust, betrayal... And when he glanced over the top of her head and saw that giant hole in his front window? Anger. A lot of anger.
Reaching up, he untangled her arms from behind his neck and peeled her off him. “What are you doing here, Monica?”
“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious? I came here to see you. Balen, I want you back.”
Well, she never had been one to beat around the bush. For that he supposed he should be grateful. “And you thought throwing a rock through my front window was the best way to accomplish that?”
She glanced at the ground and bit her bottom lip before turning that remorsefully pathetic gaze back on him. It was one he’d seen too often and had grown immune to a long time ago. Sadly, there had been a time he’d fallen for her “poor me” act, bought it more times than any self-respecting man should’ve. Even now he couldn’t deny how stunningly beautiful she was. Unfortunately, it had taken him a while to realize that Monica’s beauty was only skin deep.
“Connor wouldn’t let me in. This is my house. You bought it for me.”
“Was your house. You lost the right to it when you started fucking Scott Cunningham.”
Cue the tears. And just like that he was glaring into two glittering emerald pools. Could he have been more tactful? Probably. But Balen was pissed. Monica was the last thing he wanted to be dealing with. Especially because he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d messed things up with Autumn.
“I made a mistake. Balen, I love you. I want you back. We were good together once.” Stepping into his space, she placed her hand on his chest and slowly ran it down his stomach, purring, “Maybe you just need a reminder of how good it was.”
He caught her wrist, stopping her descent before it could go any lower. Her touch did nothing for him anymore. The prickle of goosebumps crawling over his flesh like fire-ants was a mixture of revulsion and guilt. There was only one woman he wanted touching him and he’d unfortunately had to leave her bed to come deal with this shit.
“Apparently not good enough,” he snapped. She winced at his tight grip and struggled to pull her wrist free. He held on a moment longer than necessary before finally releasing her with a disgusted shove that sent her stumbling out of his personal space. “Monica, listen to what I’m telling you. We are never getting back together. And you coming over here, throwing shit through my front window, is not going to help anything.”
She shook her head in denial and took another step back, wiping at the big fat alligator tear rolling down her cheek. “No. I…I can’t accept that, Balen.”
“That’s not my problem, sweetheart. I’ve moved on and I suggest you do the same.”
Her emerald eyes snapped up to his and before she could lock it down, he saw that infamous flash of temper warning him they were about to go another round.
“There’s someone else, isn’t there? Are you seeing someone else?”
“Yeah, I am.” Perhaps it was unfair of him to use Autumn for his scapegoat. And given their conversation in the car a few minutes ago, it might not even be true anymore. But he’d say whatever he needed to get Monica off his front lawn and out of his life for good. The problem was, the words rang truer than Balen ever would have imagined.
“Who is it? Do I know her?” she demanded.
“No. She’s not a wave runner.” By the flash of hurt in her eyes, he knew the insult had hit its mark. But she let it slide. Possibly because she knew if she lost her shit, this conversation would be over.
“Do you…love her?”
“I think I might.” The confession made his chest feel tight and something inside there warmed, but he quickly dismissed it. He couldn’t be falling for Autumn. He hardly knew her. But he couldn’t deny they shared a connection. It wasn’t until she’d gotten on her knees that he’d realized just how strong that connection ran, and it wasn’t because she’d blown him. Every time he went to a competition, he had women lining up to suck his cock. He did casual sex all the time, so he was experienced enough to know that this wasn’t it. In the time he’d been separated from Monica, never once had his emotions gotten in the way of sex—until now—until Autumn.
“I’m not giving up on us, Balen.”
Oh, for crissake. Exhaling a sigh as he prayed for patience. “I really wish you would.”
“I love you.”
And the sad thing was, he believed her. She’d probably even loved him when she’d had another guy’s cock halfway down her throat.
“Balen, I made a mistake. Just tell me what to do to make this right.”
You could start by not throwing rocks through my living room window. “There isn’t anything you can do, Monica. It’s over.”
“Are you going
to ruin my life over this? Over one mistake. It was one mistake, Balen.”
The longer he stood here, the more evident it became that he just couldn’t reason with crazy. Taking a step toward the Jeep, he held up his hands in surrender. “We’re done here. If your life is ruined, it’s been your own doing, Monica, not mine. I want you to leave. And if you ever do something like that again—” He pointed to the hole in his window. “I’ll call the police and I will press charges.”
Tears poured down her cheeks. He had to hand it to her, she was a pretty crier—the only woman he knew who could sob and look beautiful while doing it. Perhaps because she’d practiced it so much, it’d practically become a form of art.
“Go home, Monica.”
“This is my home.”
“Not anymore.” He didn’t want to be mean. He was so past this drama with her. Honestly, he should have thanked her, because if she wouldn’t have cheated on him, this was what he would have been saddled with right now. “Go back to Cunningham, Mon, before you fuck that relationship up too.”
He turned toward the Jeep and opened the door. As he was climbing inside, he thought he heard her say, “I already have.”
He turned the key and the engine fired up. Downshifting into reverse, Balen paused before lifting his foot from the brake and studied the woman he’d once thought he was in love with. It gave him no pleasure to see her broken. Maybe six months ago that wouldn’t have been the case, but now? Now he just felt sorry for her. “Do you want some advice? Because it’s the only thing I have to offer you.”
She wiped another tear away and nodded pitifully.
“Learn from your mistakes and stop repeating them. Quit being a wave runner, there’s no future in it. Go home to Bill and Cheryl and spend some time making the inside as beautiful as the outside. Goodbye, Mon.” Without waiting for a response, he backed out of the driveway.
One and Done Page 17
