The Ranger And The Widow Woman

by Bagwell, Stella

  “Then she came to Forth Worth?”

  He nodded. “I left her in a motel room with two armed policemen. I told her I’d be back in the morning to take her to the DA’s office. But morning never came for Lup6. During the night the policemen were distracted by a fracas across the street, later we learned some of the uncle’s cronies staged it. Anyway, the police were away from Lupé’s room for only a couple of minutes. Or so they swore. But no matter the time, it was enough for someone to silence the woman. I won’t go into details of how she was killed. Let’s just say I haven’t been able to forget, or forgive myself.”

  For long moments Violet couldn’t speak. She didn’t know what she could say that could possibly ease the burden he’d carried so long in his heart. And then, as she thought about all he’d been through, all those things she hadn’t been able to figure these past two weeks began to fall into place. Charlie hadn’t necessarily rescued her from the highway because he’d taken an instant liking to her and Sam. He was truly, as her mother had called him, the Durango Kid. He was a modern-day cowboy hero, compelled to help any damsel in distress.

  “You wouldn’t leave me and Sam in Ruidoso in the motel because of Lupé. Isn’t that right? You imagined the same thing happening to me.”

  His expression turned a bit sheepish as his big fingers smoothed gently over the back of her hand. “Not entirely.”

  “All this you’ve been doing for me, all this concern over Rex harming me is because of her, isn’t it?”

  He stared at her with disbelief. “No!”

  “Charlie,” she said with a groan, “be honest with me. All my life men have lied to me. Please, don’t you do it, too.”

  “I’m not lying to you!”

  She looked away from him and out toward the barn. The gray and sorrel were moving restlessly around the dusty corral. As she watched the beautiful horses nip playfully at each other, she wished she could jump astride one of them and ride far off into the mountains. Away from Charlie and his offer of love. But she had Sam to think of. Now and always.

  “Violet, I’m not confusing concern for love. Hell, I admit I’ve been carrying around a load of guilt. For the past few months I’ve been trying to save the whole world and clean it up, and in the process made a mess of myself. But not once in that time did I bring a woman home with me. Or a child. Not once did I ever turn to a woman and tell her I loved her.”

  The pain in Violet’s chest was like a heavy weight pushing her down, slowly stealing her breath. “Why are you telling me all this? Better yet, why did you wait until now to tell me?”

  His free hand reached up and brushed the loose hair off her forehead. “Because tonight, when we were talking about your father-in-law and I saw fear on your face, I wanted to hunt him down and threaten him to within an inch of his life. And I knew I wasn’t feeling that way because I’m a Texas Ranger or because guilt is driving me to protect you.”

  Violet wasn’t so sure. But it was exhilarating to think a man like Charlie could actually care about her. She’d loved Brent, and in spite of Leroy’s alcoholism, she’d loved her father, too. But ultimately both men had betrayed her in the worst kind of way. Could Charlie really be any different?

  It didn’t matter, she told herself fiercely. She couldn’t stay and love Charlie. She could only move on and hope he never discovered the sordid background she’d come from.

  Desperate to get away before her tears began to fall, Violet pulled her hand from the warmth of his and shot to her feet.

  “Violet! Don’t you have anything to say?”

  She shook her head as tears settled like a hot ball in her throat. “No. It wouldn’t make any difference.”

  He snatched her hand as she started to move away, and she gazed down at him, imploring him with her eyes to understand and let it be.

  “If you haven’t any feelings for me, tell me now,” he demanded.

  She couldn’t do that. She’d felt something for the man from the first moment she’d seen him cross the road to her. She just hadn’t known how deeply that something was going to root itself inside her.

  “Don’t do this to me, Charlie,” she begged.

  He rose to his feet and slowly took her face between his hands. “You can’t tell me. Because you love me.”

  If missing him while he was away, if wanting to put a smile on his face, if wanting to live the rest of her life with him meant she loved him, then she need not wonder anymore. She’d fallen in love with Charlie Pardee.

  “What if I did? How would it change anything?”

  “Love changes everything. It’s what kept my mother and father together for more than twenty years. It’s the reason they still can’t bear to be away from each other for one night. That’s what I want with you, Violet.”

  She closed her eyes, but she could not stop the tears from slipping onto her cheeks. Charlie bent his head and pressed his lips against each salty drop.

  “I used to think marriage was forever, Charlie,” she whispered shakily. “But I learned the hard way it isn’t. Right now I’m sure you’d tell me that I’m the only woman you could ever want. But two or five or even ten years from now I might not be enough for you. I might not even be enough two months from now. So please don’t ask me to try.”

  Before he could reply, she pressed a kiss against his cheek, then pulled away from him and hurried into the house. Charlie watched her go, and as he did it dawned on him that Angela’s desertion hadn’t even scratched the surface of his heart. Whereas Violet had settled in and taken total control of it.

  His days with Violet were limited. He had to figure out what it was going to take to make her see they belonged together. Otherwise, he was going to be a walking dead man.

  The whole thing was a family affair, and Violet didn’t belong. But Sam apparently felt right at home. He was lapping up the attention showered on him by Charlie’s parents, aunts, uncles and cousins.

  She’d been forewarned by Justine that the Bar M ranch, which was owned jointly by her sisters, had a big swimming pool and to bring Sam a pair of shorts so he could enjoy it. At the moment her son was paddling around like a happy duck, while Charlie’s cousins, Adam and Ivy, played water games with him.

  “Did you get your fill of barbecue, Violet?”

  Violet looked up to see another cousin of Charlie’s slipping into the lawn chair next to her. Emily, a blonde, who appeared to be somewhere in her thirties, was holding her five-month-old son. The baby was adorable, with cherub cheeks, fat legs and dark silky hair. Presently he was chewing on a plastic rattle in a way that told Violet he had sore gums.

  “Oh yes. I’m completely stuffed. I’ve never seen so much food in my life. And Charlie said this was just a little family gathering. What does it look like around here when you have a full-blown party?”

  Emily laughed. “Pretty much the same except more of everything. Your son seems to be enjoying himself. I’ve never seen a child his age swim so well.”

  Violet smiled at the compliment. “He was barely two when I started taking him to the pool. He took to the water naturally.”

  “I noticed he’s taken to Charlie, too.” She looked slyly at Violet. “Would you like to have more children someday?”

  Across the wide pool Charlie sat talking with his father and two uncles, Harlan and Wyatt, and Emily’s husband, Cooper. It was a fine group of men. All of them were fit and handsome and successful. Other than Charlie they were all fathers.

  Violet didn’t have to ask herself if she would like to be the woman to give him a child. Her deepest intuition told her Charlie was the only man she could ever give her body to. It was unimaginable to think of moving on and meeting another man who could make her forget him.

  “I wanted to. But things didn’t work out for me and Sam’s father. He—”

  “Yes, I know. Justine explained how he was killed in a plane crash.”

  Violet absently fingered the hem of her silk blouse. The main thing she’d noticed this evening about all
of Charlie’s family was how open and honest they all were. It made her feel very hypocritical.

  “Well, the crash legally ended our marriage,” Violet confessed to this gentle woman. “But for a long time we’d had our problems. You see, he was...fond of other women. And I was reluctant to bring another child into that sort of marriage.”

  Suddenly she felt Emily’s hand covering hers and she glanced over at her. The look of pure sympathy on her face touched Violet more than the other woman could ever know.

  “I’m so sorry, Violet. You must have felt as if you’d lost him long before he died.”

  She nodded, then drew in a long breath and released it. “I did feel that way. And I guess I should be ashamed of myself because I was able to get past his death but not his unfaithfulness.”

  Emily grimaced. “I’m sure I’d feel the same way, Violet. If Cooper ever turned to another woman, I really doubt I could ever forgive him.”

  Violet’s gaze drifted back over to Charlie. Last night he’d said he loved her. He’d implied he wanted to make a home for her and Sam. But would he be faithful? He was a straight-shooting lawman, a man of morals. But if there was something lacking in Violet, if she couldn’t keep him satisfied, he might change and turn away from her.

  Oh, dear heaven, Violet, she scolded herself. There wasn’t any use worrying over a future with Charlie. There could be no future with Charlie. Ever. She had to get that through her head.

  Beside her in Emily’s lap, the baby began to fuss and wave the rattle furiously in the air.

  “May I hold him?” Violet asked. “It’s been a long time since Sam was a baby, but maybe I can quiet him for a minute or two.”

  Emily handed little Harlan over to Violet’s outstretched arms. She set the chubby boy on her knees and talked to him in gentle, hushed tones. In no time at all the baby was smiling and gooing at her.

  She drew him up against her chest and kissed the top of his soft head while thinking how wonderful and right it felt to have a baby in her arms. But it looked as though Sam was the only child she would ever have.

  “I’ve got to go over to Portales this morning. It’ll probably be several hours before I’m back.”

  Violet turned away from the sink where she was washing the last of the breakfast dishes. Charlie was still at the table finishing his coffee. He’d gotten up early this morning and fed the horses and dog before Violet had finished cooking a platter of ham and eggs.

  “Charlie, I thought you were supposed to be on vacation. That’s what your family thinks, and that’s what you told me. But you’ve hardly spent any time at home this past two weeks. What are you doing, anyway?”

  He stared at his coffee cup. “I’ve been—seeing a few people I haven’t seen in a long time. You know, old friends and acquaintances.”

  “And girlfriends?” She knew the question sounded petty, but his absence away from the cabin was getting to her, and the more she thought about it, the stranger it seemed that he was continually running off to Ruidoso, Roswell or Artesia. One day he’d even gone to Clovis, which was more than a hundred and fifty miles away. And now Portales was nearly as far. She didn’t believe he’d make a drive there and back in one day just to see old friends.

  He studied her flushed cheeks. “I don’t have any old flames around here if that’s what you’re worried about. Though I don’t know why you would be. You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t want there to be...a me and you.”

  She winced inwardly. With each day that passed she loved him more than she thought it possible to love anyone. Yet she couldn’t tell him. If she did, it would only lead to more questions and explanations she couldn’t answer without bringing the roof down on their heads. No, it was better to let him think she didn’t care than to let him know she’d been living with a thief and done nothing about it, that she’d once been arrested for being a thief herself.

  “I just think it odd you could find that much reminiscing to do. You must know a lot of people.”

  “It’s my job to know a lot of people.”

  She frowned, and Charlie figured she wanted to tell him she thought his job stunk, but instead she reached for a dish towel and dried her hands.

  “Well, I hope you’re going to be driving into Ruidoso soon, I’d like to go with you. There are a few things I need from the store, and I want to check on my car. The mechanic should have it finished by now.”

  Her suggestion unnerved him, and he quickly got to his feet. “The mechanic doesn’t expect you to pick up your car anytime soon. Unless something has been going on that I wasn’t aware of.”

  She lifted her chin. There wasn’t any reason for her to feel guilty about having her own car fixed. “Since you don’t have a telephone out here, I asked your mother to call him for me. She said he promised to have it ready in a few days. That was last week.”

  Charlie practically glared at her. “I have a cellular phone here. You could have used it. Or didn’t you want me knowing you were going ahead with the repairs?”

  She looked at him with disbelief. “It wasn’t some big, dark secret. Besides, I didn’t want you thinking I was expecting you to pay me for work I hadn’t yet done.”

  The past few days, Charlie had forgotten she was supposed to be working in order to pay the repair bill on the car. He hadn’t even been giving her a job other than cooking and a little light housework. He supposed he’d unconsciously put the car out of his mind because he didn’t want to think of Violet leaving. And now there was this other problem his captain had given him. It was eating away precious time with her, but there was nothing he could do about it, except solve the mystery as soon as possible.

  “How do you plan to pay for it? An advance from me or Mother?”

  “No! I’d never expect something like that. You and your family have already helped me far too much.”

  Seeing the embarrassed expression on her face, he shook his head and closed the few feet between them. “Violet, I wasn’t trying to make you feel beholden,” he said, his voice gruff with frustration. “I want to pay for the car. You’ve already done enough work around here.”

  She’d done little more than cleaning and plastering up a few pieces of wallpaper in the bathroom, nothing to warrant several hundred dollars, even if she included the work she’d done for Justine.

  “It’s not your problem, Charlie. I’m simply going to write a check. I’ll have to use my bank account sooner or later. It might as well be now.”

  He took her chin between his thumb and finger. “What about your father-in-law and your plan to avoid him?”

  She couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’ll deal with that if or when the time comes. Hopefully I’ll be long gone before he picks up my trail.”

  Every word and the way she spoke them told Charlie she was frightened of the man. She’d been running when he’d picked her and Sam up on the side of the highway. She still wanted to run. If Charlie could find out what was really behind her fear, he might be able to persuade her to stay and give their love a chance. As it stood now, she was like a terrified doe trying to protect her fawn and herself from the hunter.

  “You’d risk revealing your whereabouts just to get away from me,” he said. “Why? You don’t hate me. In fact, right at this moment I think you want me.”

  She wished Sam hadn’t already gone outside to play with Buster. His presence would have kept Charlie a respectable distance from her. As it was, she was practically in his arms, and none of her wanted to resist.

  “Is that what you want from me, Charlie? An admission that I’m attracted to you physically? You know that I am. So why do you need to hear it?”

  He drew in a sharp breath as his blue eyes made a slow perusal of her face. “I need to hear more than you want me. I need to hear you say you love me.”

  The iron curtain she’d pulled around her heart began to melt, and she thumped her fist angrily against his chest. “Why are you bullying me? Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

  She began to c
ry and Charlie pulled her tightly against his chest and stroked her dark hair. “Because I can’t, Violet. I don’t want to lose you. I never thought I would meet a woman who could make any difference to my life. I never thought I would find a woman I’d want to fight to keep. But I have.”

  She groaned, then tilted her head back and gazed up at the hard lines of conviction on his face. “Oh, Charlie, I can’t...I do love you! I love you more than I could ever possibly tell you. But I can’t stay here with you.”

  “We won’t be staying here forever,” he reasoned. “We’ll be going back to Forth Worth.”

  She shook her head as her heart broke and fresh tears rolled unbidden down both sides of her face. “It doesn’t matter where we go. My problems would follow us.”

  He frowned. “What problems?”

  She shook her head once again. “I can’t tell you. Please don’t ask me to.”

  “But I have to ask, Violet! I can’t help you if you don’t confide in me.”

  “You can’t help! The only way you can is to let me go and forget you ever knew me!”

  “I’ll never do that,” he growled.

  Violet couldn’t stand any more. She pulled away from him and raced out of the house. She didn’t stop until she found Sam out front, tossing a ragged rubber ball to Buster.

  As she approached him, she forced her pace to slow and carefully wiped away any tears that might be left on her cheeks. Not for anything did she want to alarm her son. He’d settled in here as if it were his home, and she didn’t want to upset him, even though she feared that taking Sam away from this place and Charlie was going to be devastating for him.

  “Hi,” she said brightly, “are you and Buster already playing fetch this morning?”