Raven

by Ashley Suzanne

  No, Rian, no. You want to fight, not be the object of his affection. You want to be badass. Girls that fawn over boys aren’t badass, they’re weak.

  “Yes, keep them to yourself,” I say more confidently, pulling my shoulders back and looking him dead in the eyes.

  He places his hand on the small of my back, leading me out of the building, clicking the lights on the way out. That “I’ve just been tasered” feeling’s back and my nipples harden, wanting him to touch me more.

  Who am I kidding? Hands aren’t meant to be kept away … they’re meant to touch and mother hell do I want him to touch me … everywhere.

  Chapter 19

  Garrett walks me to my car all gentlemanly and proceeds to follow me home. At every stop light, I check behind me to see if he’s still there, and the closer we get to my apartment, the butterflies are fluttering around in some kind of frenzy. It’s not until he escorts me to my door that panic sets in.

  There’s going to be no way I’ll be able to not touch him. This pull … the heady current … that draws us both in and drags us under will rear her head. Garrett never said that he and Jaime weren’t together, even though that’s what I assume.

  Twice. Twice I’ve let him touch me while he belonged to someone else. I can’t be the girl that’s okay being someone’s second place. It’s not the kind of person I want to be, but hell if I can’t tell him to leave. He makes me want all those things I wanted so long ago. I’m a different person now. I know how life ends up and it’s never the way you expect. Another disappointment of this magnitude would send me over the edge.

  “Do you want to come in for a bit?” I ask, kicking myself in the ass. This is exactly what I’m talking about—my brain knows better but everything else craves his attention.

  He doesn’t answer, only nods and enters behind me. I stop at the edge of the sofa to take off my shoes. The moment I pick up my leg, resting it on the arm of the sofa to unzip my boot, Garrett sucks in a deep breath, hissing it out between his teeth. Goosebumps appear all over my skin and I inadvertently shiver.

  Garrett’s hands come down on my shoulders, gently rubbing, and then begin a journey south, finally resting them along the hollows of my hips. Pulling me back to his pelvis, his arousal is extremely evident. I bite my lip and beg my body to not push back and grind onto him, but there’s no controlling it—I’m a lost cause. Softly skimming his hand around my front and down my leg, Garrett brushes my fingers away and finishes unzipping my boot.

  Once one is removed, he spins me to face him and sits me on the arm of the couch, bringing my other foot to rest near his groin to remove the other, all the while not breaking eye contact. Something so insignificant might be the sexiest moment in my entire life. Once I’m barefoot, Garrett steps between my thighs, placing his face in my neck and inhaling deeply. When his lips lightly touch the sensitive skin near my collar bone, the quietest, almost nonexistent moan escapes from my throat. I lean my head back to give him better access and curl my legs around his, resting my ankles just above the back of his knees, drawing him in closer.

  “Are you and Jaime still together?” I ask, needing to know the answer before I allow this to go any further. It’ll be hard to stop, but I won’t allow him to cheat again, at least not with me.

  “She gave me the ring back two weeks ago,” he mutters as he continues peppering my flesh with soft, sensual kisses.

  I toss whatever resolve I have left out the window. Taking his face in the palms of my hands, I run my thumbs over the coarse hair on his jaw and stop trying to hide how much I need him. Almost in slow motion, I move my lips toward his, stopping millimeters away from them. Garrett’s short, labored breaths hit mine just before I close in on him.

  That’s the last ounce of control I’m given. Garrett quickly takes over, moving my hands away and thrusting his into my hair, angling my head to the perfect degree, deepening our kiss. I’m not even sure how long we stay in this position; however, the next thing I know, I’m being lifted and taken back to the bedroom.

  I wiggle loose just as we cross the threshold and look up at Garrett, whose eyes are hooded with desire, and search past all of that to see what lies beneath. My heart sings when I see the love shining from behind the clouds. Deciding that this is exactly what I want, regardless of all of the other things my brain tells me, my heart’s going to win. My body’s going to win.

  I start taking off my clothes, my shirt first followed by my short blue jean skirt. Once I’m standing before him, only wearing a bra and underwear, his gaze lingers on my breasts, silently asking me to finish disrobing. Raising my brow and producing a sly smirk, he gets where I’m going and pulls his shirt over his head.

  The tattoos that adorn his chest are beautiful—scripted writing along his collar bones and the top of one arm as well. This isn’t the body that I knew when I was a teenager; it’s more defined and inked to perfection. It’s mouthwatering. I can’t imagine how I didn’t notice all this beauty last time we were together. Who am I kidding? I was preoccupied.

  When we’re both nearly naked, I climb in bed, and much like a tiger stalks its prey, he follows, but more stealthily and calculated. Prowling up my body, every nerve stands at attention and I can feel him before his fingertips even touch me.

  Light kisses quickly turn to desperate, sloppy ones and the touches that were barely there are now groping and needy. I’m pawing at his body just as much as he is mine. Before long, we’re both completely nude and his cock is covered in latex, resting at the apex of my thighs. With his eyes, he seeks permission, and with a lick of my lips, I give it.

  Garrett slowly enters me. The wildfire that burns so heavily inside of me is only growing more out of control with each and every slow, meticulous thrust. The delicious friction has my back arching, aching for his touch. My knees raise higher to pull him deeper and my feet press into his ass, urging him to go faster. He doesn’t oblige.

  Instead of hard and quick, the flame gradually gets larger, gradually building intensity until I’m totally consumed. When it reaches maximum destruction, my quiet mews stop abruptly and his name is the only thing leaving my lips. Swallowing my cries with more sensual kisses, another ember ignites, leaving me breathless.

  “It’s too much, Garrett,” I pant, writhing beneath him as his final thrust pushes me into oblivion. Digging his fingertips into my hips, his body shakes with his release. My ravaged pussy, overly sensitive, feels every throb … every jerk. It’s delicious.

  Sore, sated and devoured, I lie still, relishing the feel of him buried so deep within me, throbbing with the last of his release. “Rian, that was crazy. It felt like I was here, but really wasn’t. Does that make sense?” Garrett asks, slowly withdrawing from my body and discarding the used condom.

  “It actually does,” I respond, almost feeling like it was some kind of out of body experience. Sex with Garrett has always been extraordinary, but this time was different than anything else I’ve ever done before. If it weren’t for my screaming muscles, I would think I’d dreamed the entire thing.

  I glance over at Garrett, who’s lying face down, eyes barely open and a small smile on his face. “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Going to sleep. I’m exhausted and have to be up early.”

  “Oh, you’re sleeping here?” Obviously he is, but isn’t it proper etiquette to ask before assuming? I’ve never had a man in my bed overnight. Actually, the only person I have ever actually slept with was Garrett, but that was a different time.

  “Get used to it, baby. I missed out on four years with you, and we’re gonna make ‘em up.”

  “We’re not getting back together, Garrett,” I say firmly.

  “Never said we were. After sex like that, you can’t expect me to go looking for it elsewhere. Your body’s always been mine, I’m just collecting.” Crass? Sure, but holy hell if his brashness doesn’t get me fired up and ready for round two.

  “’Night, Garrett,” I concede, rolling over and attempting to ge
t comfortable.

  “’Night, baby.” Rolling off his stomach onto his side, he pulls me close to him and we fall asleep.

  ****

  I wake the next morning in bed, alone, and hear the distant sound of running water coming from my bathroom. Assuming Garrett’s in the shower, I head into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. I have to get my game face on. If Zan is going to take me seriously, I can’t walk in looking freshly fucked and giddy like a schoolgirl. I have to be strong and manipulate the situation any way I can.

  When Garrett emerges from the bathroom, water still dripping down his chest and his mohawked hair laying down, nearly covering his eyes in the front, it’s a sight, let me tell you. My vaginal spidy-sense tingles with every move he makes, and when he’s standing in front of me, reaching over my head for a mug, I strongly consider divesting him of the fresh white towel draped across his waist.

  “Don’t even think about it.”

  “Think about what?” I feign innocence, looking in any direction but his.

  “I know what you’re doing and not right now. I’m already running late and have to be somewhere in about fifteen minutes. I got about enough time to chug down a cup of coffee before I have to leave.”

  Pouring some magic morning elixir in his cup, he kisses the tip of my nose and literally drinks every drop in just a few short gulps. I’m not sure how much of the cold milk he added to cool it down, but I wince, my tongue burning for him.

  While I casually sip on mine, Garrett rushes around, throwing on yesterday’s clothes and is out the door before the last taste of coffee hits my tongue. With him gone, I can comfortably finish my morning routine. It’s a strange thing, waking up with someone you’ve had sex with—everything seems off but in the most perfect way.

  The ride to the gym is quiet and gives me time to reflect on the events of the last twenty-four hours. I really wish I could get every part of me on the same page. I’ve never been so conflicted. Garrett’s great, he truly is. I’m not a rebound and that’s exactly how it looks. I just need to focus on Zan right now and deal with Garrett later. One thing at a time.

  “Hey, Zan,” I holler, walking through the doors and dropping my bag to get ready for my workout. If I’m going to convince him that I can do this, I can’t slack on my training.

  “I want you on weights today. Get started and I’ll be right over. Got something to finish up in my office.” Taking his direction, I grab the weights and start doing the exercises he’s shown me before.

  Zan disappears into his back corner, and right as my muscles start to burn, he reemerges. I adjust my posture and pull out another set of reps, showing him that I can push through even when my body’s screaming at me to stop.

  “Hey, Rian,” Garrett calls, walking from the back of the gym.

  “Hi, Garrett.” Wait? Garrett? He’s here. I turn just in time to see him and Zan shaking hands and acting really chummy. What in the hell?

  My jaw drops to the floor, right alongside the dumbbell that slips from my grip. The entire place focuses their attention on me and my cheeks flush. Awesome. Exactly what I need to show Zan I can handle the pressure.

  “Oh, good, you already know each other. Saves me the time,” Zan says casually, grabbing a drink of water from the fountain on the wall near where I’m standing.

  “Zan, can I talk to you for a minute?” I don’t know what’s going on, but this is my place. My special place where nothing and nobody can affect me. Just me and the equipment and my goals. Not boys, especially boys who drive me so damn crazy I have a hard time keeping my underwear on when I’m around them.

  “Is this about fighting again? I told you, there are no girls here for you to spar with. Nothing I can do.”

  “You wanna fight?” Garrett asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

  “Zan,” I turn away from Garrett, refusing to acknowledge him until absolutely necessary, “I can train with one of the guys. Just give me a chance. Please.” This isn’t going at all like I thought it would. I had a plan—stand my ground, rebut every rejection and eventually be granted permission to get in the ring that stares at me every day. Damn Garrett for throwing me off kilter.

  “There’s no way you’re training with a man, Rian. Are you nuts?” Jesus, I really need Garrett to go away. He’s ruining everything.

  “You heard the man. He’s going to take over the fighters, he makes the rules,” Zan pipes in.

  My head spins to Garrett who’s smirking his nasty little smirk. You know the one. It that sly, devilish smile that says “I got you right where I want you and there’s nothing you can do about it”. Okay, there’s nothing nasty about it, unless you count the things we did last night and almost again this morning. Shit, I’m screwed.

  “Garrett, outside please.” I don’t wait for a response, somehow knowing that he’ll follow me if I leave. I head out the door and pace the sidewalk, waiting for him to push his way through the door. Once he’s in front of me, I lay into him.

  “What the hell are you doing? You could have told me you were taking a job here. And why so far away from home? Also, while we’re having a friendly chat, why would you tell Zan that I can’t train with one of the guys?” My mind’s running almost as fast as my mouth, not allowing Garrett to answer a single question.

  “I didn’t take a job, Rian, I bought half the gym. Zan was drowning out here and I helped out. He and my dad were old Army buddies and it seemed like a good idea. It’s been hard finding good, steady work since discharge and I needed something. I also got an apartment above the space here.” He points to the unit hovering over the gym and my stomach clenches. He’s going to be around all the damn time. I’ll have to find somewhere else to go. “There’s no way in hell I’m letting you get in that ring with a douchebag that just wants to prove you don’t belong. Half of these guys are fresh and haven’t figured out how to keep their anger in check. You mouth off one time and one of them will lay you out.”

  I hadn’t thought about that. I’ve been so consumed with wanting to prove myself that I never considered of the danger. Even knowing that, there’s no way I can back down now. I’ve worked too hard, and with Garrett showing up, buying half the gym, what those guys say is true. I’ll be here because I’m fucking the owner—one of them anyway. Shit.

  “You want to fight? Like really train and take on opponents?”

  I straighten my back, square my shoulders and stare him straight in the eye. “Absolutely. Since the moment I got here, it’s all I’ve wanted to do. I just want a chance. If I’m terrible or don’t have what it takes, I won’t push it. I just need to know if I can do it.”

  “I’ll train you then,” Garrett says casually.

  “You sure about that? I don’t want any special treatment.”

  “Nothing special about it, Rian. There are no girls and I won’t ever hurt you. I won’t be easy on you, though. I’m going to be hard and push you. If you wanna do it, I’m your only option. What do ya say? You in?”

  “When do we start?”

  “Get your ass back inside. We start right now.”

  Chapter 20

  It’s like I blink my eyes and five months pass by. Garrett’s sticking true to his word and continues to train me. I’m not sure if I’m getting better, but I am getting sorer. My body aches in a way that I never knew possible. Nothing like just working out. It’s much more intense.

  Garrett’s planning on us working out later today and I’m terrified. Since we began, it’s been mostly grappling and submission maneuvers. Today, though, he wants to work on striking. This isn’t an area I’ve ever had a problem, but the thought of hitting Garrett makes me sick to my stomach.

  I did try to stop our relationship outside the gym. It’s not working. Not even a little. I remember it like it was yesterday and it still gets me hot and worked up.

  “Stop being a pussy, get over here,” Garrett calls from the corner of the ring, waiting for me to attack.

  “I’m not, I’m coming. What do you want me
to do again?”

  “I want you to take my legs out and pin me on my back. We’ll work on everything else later. If you’re going to want to win, you need to learn to take your opponent’s power and this is how.”

  After working myself into a frenzy, hot and sweaty, hair matted to the back of my neck, I still haven’t taken him down. He’s too quick, too strong. My frustration’s making me sloppy; I need to figure out how to turn that off.

  “I’m not exactly sure how to take you down. Everything I’m trying isn’t working,” I huff, ready to concede and leave the gym.

  “Stand right here.” Doing as he says, I plant my feet a few inches away from where he points. It’s a second, maybe two, and I’m lying flat on my back.

  “How the hell did you do that?” I ask, amazed that I didn’t even see it coming.

  “When I see you dancing around, staring at my knees, I know that’s exactly where you’re going. Train your body to work differently. It was the same in basketball. If the other team saw me staring at Eli, they assumed I was going to pass him the ball, so they’d double up on him. They always got pissed when I passed to Tony instead. Am I making sense?”

  “Yeah.” Surprisingly he is. I understand, but just don’t know how to do it. Running different scenarios over in my mind, I remember a move I saw on TV once and want to try it out.

  Holding eye contact with Garrett, I shift underneath him, only to see that ravenous look in his gaze. Without a second thought, I roll him onto his back and straddle his waist.

  “See what you just did, grasshopper? You taught the teacher.”

  Bracing my hands on his chest, I push myself up to stand when Garrett catches the tops of my thighs, holding me in place. I try again, only to get the same result.

  “What the hell?” I ask, making the dangerous mistake of looking into his blue eyes.

  “I kinda like you up there. You’ve never looked sexier. All proud of yourself and out of breath. God, Rian, do you know what you do to me?” Garrett barely thrusts his hips and his hardness grazes my sex, inspiring an involuntary shiver, which seems like the most common reaction my body gives off where Garrett’s concerned.