Refined By His Fire

by Cathy Conradie

  Chapter Two

  Four years later. Adrian looks out of the window for the umpteenth time, puts the pen down and picks up the application form again. He just had one final paper to write in his final exams and then it is the big world out there, his for the taking. He sighs heavily. If only Henry will sign the consent . . . Adrian so much wants to follow in his family’s proud footsteps to become a policeman. Four years ago, he made a vow to himself to become a policeman one day and to stop the children’s molesters and abusers. He wanted justice done . . .

  “I guess you know everything for your final paper tomorrow, son?”

  Adrian hastily puts the application form face down so that Henry won’t see, but it’s too late. Henry takes a seat next to Adrian.

  “You know I won’t sign those.”

  “Dad, please. Please, won’t you change your mind? I thought you’d be proud.”

  “If you had the opportunity to join and serve the old Police Force, I may have considered it, but not really. Now you want to be part of the Police Service, a rotten organization with no discipline and no future for white policemen.”

  “I want to follow in your footsteps. Just like you did with grandpa and grandpa followed in great grandpa’s footsteps. Won’t you be proud to have all your children to be cops?”

  “You are so stubborn. Chip of the old block. I never should have allowed you to grow up so closely amongst police people.”

  “Dad, please. There is nothing else I want to do.”

  “What about farming?”

  “Ag no, Dad. If I have the opportunity to inherit the farm one day, you know what I will do. I will start my own Boerperd stud, but that is one day.”

  “Adrian, police work is not what you have seen. It is a scary, messy business out there.”

  “But if I have finished College, I can come and work at Grabouw.”

  “Oh, no. You don’t. I will have to be much more strict with you than with all my other personnel and give you a harder time than you deserve because people will say that I’m giving you an advantage. They will probably transfer me away.”

  “Dad, please. I really want to do this.”

  “And I really want to protect you and help you to keep your innocence for as long as I can. Death is not what you see in the movies. It’s worse. Much worse. There is blood, gore, people die in your arms. You dream of scenes you have attended, years after it has happened. I was hoping I can persuade you to wait until you are at least 21. It’s just another two years.”

  Henry looks Adrian in the eyes and realizes it is a lost battle.

  “Did you complete the form in full and correctly? There are lots of places you need to scratch out and initial.”

  Henry takes the form and reads it through. He smiles when he reads Adrian’s motivation to join, but then he sighs.

  “I know I’m going to regret this. Does your mother know that you want to join?”

  “Yes, she does. Not keen on it either.”

  “Well, you can’t blame us. We don’t want to lose you again.”

  “Oh, Dad. You know no one of us will live forever. Besides, you went to war many times and you were okay.”

  “Yes, but in the old South Africa and the Police Force, we didn’t lose an average of five policemen country wide a week. You know what’s the situation in the country at the moment. And son, please don’t expect me to pull strings for you to work at Grabouw. It will be difficult to do. It’s not like in the old days. I really hope that you will not regret what you have done.”

  Henry signs the forms.

  “Do you want me to take you to the Provincial Commissioner’s office tomorrow after you have finished you final paper?”

  “Yes.”

  Adrian smiles, hugs Henry close.

  “Thanks, Dad. I really hope that I will be a policeman that you will be proud of.”

  “I will be. You are a chip of the old block. I am already proud of you. Especially with the knowledge that you will get distinctions in all your subjects.”

  Adrian blushes.

  “Don’t count your chickens before they hatched, Dad. I know I will get a distinction on Physiology, but for the rest, I can’t make any promises.”

  The small built brown haired teenager looks at his wrist watch, finishes his last paper, stretches and sighs with relief. That went very well. He smiles and can barely contain the excitement inside of him. Tomorrow, this time, he will be on holiday overseas with his parents. He gets up carefully and gathers all his belongings without making a noise and walks to the front.

  “Eager to go, Barry?”

  “Aye. Can’t wait. Me parents will be here in half an hour. I still need to go to the boarding house and get me stuff. The paper was easy too.”

  His teacher smiles.

  “Will be a piece of cake for someone who loves creative writing. You were always very strong in that department. We will really miss you. You have been a star athlete and model pupil. Have you thought what you are going to do after school?”

  “Well, we’ll probably join the rest of the family in New Zealand. Not that I care. I love them and vice versa, but we are not close to each other like me parents and I. Me parents are the only reason why I will settle down in New Zealand permanently.”

  “Well, enjoy that and good luck with whatever you want to do and accomplish.”

  The teacher shakes Barry’s hand.

  “Thanks, sir. Thanks for everything.”

  “And, Barry, don’t stop playing rugby. You have big talent. You know that Western Province already wants you.”

  Barry blushes.

  “Well, if me folks decide to settle in New Zealand or if I decide to go back to Edinburgh, that will be their loss.”

  With a smile he turns around and leaves for his dormitory. He remembered coming from Scotland when he was eight years old and living in South Africa for ten years was fun, but then there were the elections and the new government taking over. The future of any white school leaver surely seemed uncertain and promotions in the workplace not a near possibility . . .

  “Barry?”

  The social worker touches him on the arm and he gets stunned by the look in her eyes. He would not get good news. He could feel it deep inside his gut.

  “Would you mind coming with me to my office?”

  “Why? Why won’t ye tell me right here, miss? I know you have bad news for me.”

  She gently takes him by his arm and they walk to her office. He feels like a lamb led to slaughter. Something was terribly wrong . . .

  Entering her office, he sees the policeman.

  “Hey, buddy. You Barry Daniels?”

  Barry takes a deep breath.

  “It’s me folks, isn’t it?”

  The policeman nods sympathetically.

  “I am sorry, pal. It was a huge accident. A truck’s brakes failed. I need you to come with me and identify them at the mortuary.”

  Barry’s world spins and he feel light headed, but simultaneously as if he can tear the world apart with his bare hands.

  “No!! No! Please, no!”

  Barry’s body shakes violently and the sobs tear through his body. He slumps down on the floor.

  The social worker turns around and phones the nurse at the infirmary and then turn toward Barry to calm and comfort him. Barry does not allow her to do so.

  “Please leave me alone . . .”

  Miss Coetzee sighs and looks at Sergeant Prinsloo.

  “Isn’t there anyone else that can go and identify his parents?”

  “No. He is their only son. I believe he has no other siblings in South Africa.”

  That’s a nasty business. They were not sure if Barry was going to cope with the ordeal of the identification. The nurse steps inside and kneels beside Barry.

  “Barry?”

  “Please, leave me alone . . .”

  She takes hold of his wrist, assesses his pulse and listens to his heart beat with her stethoscope.


  “Please, just go away. I really need to be alone!”

  “I can’t leave you alone, Barry. I need to take a look at you and to see if you are okay.”

  “Well, I’m not. So, just go.”

  Barry crosses his arms around his knees, resting with his head on his knees, giving a clear message that he wanted to left alone. Even though he was much calmer than he was, the nurse lightening fast takes out a syringe filled with sedative and jabs the needle in his upper arm, emptying the contents.

  Barry pulls away, but it’s too late.

  “What the hell was that for?! Are ye nuts?!”

  The nurse lays her hand on Barry’s shoulder. She knows that his fury was a reaction to the shock, nothing else. He has always been a very sweet kid and very popular amongst his teachers and his fellow pupils.

  “I hate ye for this! I hate ye . . .”

  “No, you don’t.”

  Barry’s body becomes limp and his eyes close slowly.

  “I have to take him to the infirmary. What are we going to do about the fact that he left school? He finished today and he doesn’t have anywhere to go.”

  “He has relatives in New Zealand. He and his parents would have left for New Zealand tomorrow. I’ll see if I can get hold of them.”

  Two months later in January after leaving school, all the new recruits reported at the Pretoria West Police College for their basic training. Adrian just stares wide eyed. He knows very well what awaited him and is very aware of the family history that he continued. Chrissie bravely tries to dry her tears and it is clear that Major Henry Parker, in his uniform of course, can barely contain the pride he felt.

  “Well, everyone needs to report there at the pavilion. So, get your bags. Don’t let them wait.”

  “I am going to miss you guys.”

  “Believe me, you will. There will be times that you are going to phone me and ask me how can you resign.”

  Adrian laughs.

  “No ways. No one will get the better of me. I really want this.”

  “Adrian, two very important things, no, three. I really want you to make a mental note of this for the rest of your life. This will ensure your survival in the Police jungle. The most important thing: never make unnecessary enemies for yourself in the Police. You never know when you will meet them again in your career or when you might need their help. Second thing that runs hand in hand with it: never take anything personally—ever. Especially from your commander and here in the College. Thirdly, when you finish your training and even during your training, never write an unnecessary grievance. You will always, irrespective of where you work, have someone in your way you don’t like or people who don’t like you. That’s life. You just have to live with it. Please, take this advice and wisdom from this old man to heart. It will be your survival kit for your life onwards.”

  “Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll never forget this moment.”

  “Well, I’m sorry to be so impersonal with you, but I am in uniform and you are a student.”

  Henry sticks out his hand.

  “Good luck, my son.”

  Henry takes Adrian’s hand, squeezes it firmly and pulls him slightly closer.

  “I love you. I love you very much and I am very proud of you.”

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  Adrian lets go of Henry’s hand and embraces Chrissie tightly for a long while.

  “Don’t worry, Mom. Everything will be okay.”

  “I know. It’s just . . . all of you are grown up now and leaving the nest.”

  “Oh, Mom.”

  Adrian takes Chrissie’s face in his hands, wipes the tears from her eyes.

  “In six weeks’ time I’m back home for my first pass. I’ll write you everyday.”

  Adrian kisses Chrissie on the forehead.

  “Bake enough ginger cookies and keep the sago pudding ready when I get home.”

  Chrissie smiles bravely through her tears.

  “Please get me your correct postal address so I can send you gifts. The address might have changed since your brothers were here.”

  Adrian embraces Chrissie again.

  “I love you so much, Mom. I’m going to miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too.”

  Chrissie kisses Adrian and rubs the lipstick off. Adrian smiles, picks up his bags and disappears without a looking back. The moment is very big and he has a huge lump in his throat. He doesn’t want anyone to know how overwhelmed and suddenly lonely he felt.

  A week or two later. Adrian is still certain that he wants to become a policeman, but he doesn’t know how he will keep up the pace. Rising at four in the mornings and going to sleep mostly at midnight, the schedule is hectic. There are the classes, the drills, the instructors chasing them around, cleaning the dormitories, the studies . . .

  The last one to leave, Adrian very tiredly picks up his books of his study table and looks at his watch. It was past eleven ‘o clock. He leaves the classroom and the one instructor lock up. Adrian steps down the stairs and makes his way to the dormitory, but a lonely figure on the bench catches his eye. Adrian steps closer and hesitantly sits down next to the young man sitting on the bench. In the College, there are only ten white trainees. Six females, beautiful of course, and then four males.

  “Hey, pal. What’s wrong? Why these tears?”

  Barry looks up, bravely and hastily dries his tears.

  “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

  “But I do worry about it. We share the same dormitory and you always look very sad and cry most of the time when you think no one sees you.”

  “Damn it! That’s none of your business!”

  “Look. I don’t know you. But I surely want to help you. Very much. We are only a handful of white people here and we must help each other and look out for each other. What’s your name, pal?”

  “Daniels.”

  “Okay . . . I know that. But what’s your name?”

  Barry sighs.

  “Barry.”

  “Hi, Barry. I’m Adrian.”

  Barry looks at him, pauses a while and takes Adrian’s hand for a hand shake.

  “So, Barry, won’t you level with me? What’s wrong? Why are you so sad all the time? Do you regret coming here?”

  Barry sighs again.

  “Aye. I regret that I came here. It was a big mistake. I won’t cope here. But, I . . . I don’t have elsewhere to go.”

  Adrian frowns.

  “Why’s that? You look very intelligent to have passed Matric.”

  “I did pass Matric.”

  “But then, if you don’t really want to be here, why did you join the Police?”

  “It was the only way to survive. Getting jobs here in South Africa is a mission.”

  Adrian smiles.

  “You can say that again. But, are you from overseas then?”

  “Aye. From Scotland. Me parents emigrated here ten years ago, almost eleven years.”

  “Did they go back?”

  Barry grows very silent. A fresh tear slips over his cheek and the realization hits Adrian.

  “When . . . when did your folks pass?”

  “Two months ago. I am so alone, so scared. I miss them so much!”

  The sobs tear afresh through Barry’s body. Adrian puts his hand on Barry’s shoulder.

  “I’m so sorry, pal. I wish I could help you in a way.”

  They sit there in silence with only Barry’s soft crying audible. Adrian notices Barry searches for a handkerchief and he gives Barry his.

  “So, what are you going to do now?”

  “Well, I can’t resign. Otherwise I am without an income and on the streets.”

  “Don’t you have siblings, family?”

  “No.”

  Barry sighs.

  “The only relatives I have are in New Zealand. I have spent some time there after me folks died and before I came here for me training. But we are not close and they told me that I am welcome, but they can’t t
ake care of me.”

  “That is so cruel. What would it take of them to look after you?”

  “The other thing is, I don’t understand all these laws and work we need to do. I don’t know how I will pass me exams. It is just so different from school and the responsibility of being a cop is bigger than I thought.”

  “That’s the last thing you must worry about. I grew up in a police home. My dad is still a policeman and I will help you with anything you don’t understand or don’t know. Would you like that?”

  A glimmer of hope fills Barry’s eyes.

  “Ye will?”

  “I’d love to.”

  “Adrian, I . . . I want to know something else.”

  “What’s that, pal?”

  “I really going to need a friend here . . .”

  “Done deal. We really have to look out for each other here. You can ask me anything, anytime. I’m here for you, okay?”

  “Ye don’t know what you are saying . . .”

  A soft, honest light fills Adrian’s eyes.

  “Yes. Yes, I do. I’d love to be here for you.”

  “Are ye sure about this?” Barry asks, uncertain, yet bright eyed.

  “Hey, Engelsman, do you honestly think that I will let you stay here in the College for this week. Believe me. My parents can’t wait to meet you. I told them all about you and what a special friend you are.”

  “It’s just . . . they don’t know me, and—”

  “Well, I don’t know how the hospitality in Scotland works, but here in South Africa, and in particular in the Boland in the Western Cape, our doors are open to everyone. A stranger is just a friend you’ve never met.”

  “But . . . I still can’t believe this.”

  “Well, then I don’t know what you will think of this.”

  Adrian takes out two return air tickets, one for each of them.

  “Och, Adrian! Ye are so not serious!”

  “Try me. We can’t spend two days on a bus to Cape Town and two days back to Pretoria. It will give us less than three days at home.”

  “But ye don’t and I don’t have money for these tickets.”

  “No. But my old man does.”

  Arriving on the farm, Barry couldn’t stop staring.

  “Why isn’t your Da a farmer? Is this ground, everything, his?” (Da in the Scottish dialect means father)

  Adrian laughs.

  “He has a farm manager that runs the place. He is farming with soft fruit. My mom has some rose bushes and orchids to keep her occupied in her very little spare time. Speaking of which . . .”

  Adrian’s eyes catch the figure of his mother in the door frame at the front door. Chrissie runs closer, hugs Adrian close and holds him for a long while.

  “I couldn’t wait for this day! How are you?”

  “You know me, Mom. I’m always well.”

  Adrian kisses her and turns toward Barry.

  “Mom, this is my best friend, Barry Daniels. Barry, meet my mom, the most beautiful woman in the world and the best cook.”

  “Your flattery is not going to get you anywhere!” Chrissie giggles.

  Chrissie puts her hand on Barry’s shoulder, looks him up and down.

  “You are his twin brother in another life.” She says.

  “Do you know, have you noticed the resemblance?”

  Barry just smiles shyly when Chrissie kisses him.

  “Welcome at our home. I really hope you enjoy the farm. Have you been on a farm before?”

  “No, missus.”

  “My name is Chrissie, okay? And anything you need, just let me know.”

  “It’s just . . . I was taught—”

  Chrissie smiles.

  “It’s okay. I taught Adrian and his brothers the same. But, please, I insist.”

  They walk through the house and Chrissie shows him the guest room.

  “Everything is there you’ll need. I hope you have packed enough comfortable clothing and jeans. Knowing Adrian, he will change into his riding clothes. I hope you can ride horses. If you can’t, I can assure you, Adrian will teach you.”

  Barry smiles shyly.

  “No. I can’t ride.”

  “Well, sorry, Engelsman.” (‘Engelsman’ is Adrian’s nickname he uses for Barry when speaking to Barry.)

  Adrian enters with a spare set of jodhpurs.

  “Put these on. I’m going to show you how to forget about the bad city life.”

  After a while, they make their way to the barn.

  “Ye are going to laugh, but I am really nervous about this.”

  Adrian laughs.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m going to saddle you my mom’s horse. He is a ten-year-old gelding and still fast asleep, even when you ride him with a whip. He is so bombproof and sound, I can discharge a shotgun next to him and he will barely look at the sound where it comes from.”

  Adrian takes off the saddles and bridles and they walk to the stables, first entering Hantam’s stable.

  “Hello, Hantam.”

  Hantam curiously walks closer and softly nudges Adrian.

  “Okay, okay. I know what you are looking for.”

  Adrian takes out a carrot from his pocket.

  “Time for you to work a bit, lazybones.”

  Adrian quickly, but gently saddles Hantam before proceeding to his horse’s stable. Very amused, but also staring in wonder, Barry watches Adrian’s horse. It is very obvious what close relationship Adrian had with his horse.

  “Hello, Majoor.”

  Majoor whinnies softly, stamps his front feet and also nudges Adrian softly with his head. He puts his head on Adrian’s shoulder, nudges Adrian closer and allows Adrian to hug him close.

  “Where is my big boy? I miss you so much.”

  Majoor whinnies softly again.

  “I know.”

  Adrian takes up the tack and saddles Majoor up with same care and speed.

  “Okay, okay. Here is your treat.”

  Adrian gives Majoor a sugar cube and Majoor nudges him for more.

  “No, you’ll get rotten teeth. I’ll bring you a big apple when we are done. Come on lazybones, today we are just going to take it slow. My friend can’t ride yet.”

  Barry and Adrian walk out of the stables.

  “Um, how must I mount?”

  Adrian giggles and leads the horses to a mounting block.

  “You always get up and dismount on the left side. It’s okay, I’ll hold Hantam for you and pull the stirrup down on the other side.”

  Barry gets in the saddle, but appears nervous.

  “Much too high to me liking.”

  “No, man. Hantam is what we call a pony. I’ll let you mount Majoor when we’re finished, just to get a different feel. He stands at 16hh. I can barely look over his back.”

  “Are ye sure they are tame?”

  “Hantam is a Cape Riding horse, sort of like a cousin of the SA Boerperd, like Majoor. Both of them are registered and believe me, these breeds are the safest of all horses. You’ll be fine. I promise you. Just lift your left leg up, I need to tighten the girth again before we go.”

  Adrian frowns lightly in curiosity.

  “Barry? Can I ask you something?”

  Barry smiles, amused.

  “Shoot.”

  “In this couple of weeks we’ve been friends, I’m just extremely curious to know why you call me “old man”, the way you do. I’m not old!”

  Barry laughs.

  “Don’t ye get it? It’s the whole irony of it. Just like I’m definitely not an Englishman. We couldn’t stand the English back then, maybe even still today.”

  Much later that same night, everyone finally settles down. Henry looks at Chrissie who sits at her dressing table, brushing out her beautiful long blonde hair. For a woman who turned forty-five a couple of months ago, she was still exceptionally beautiful. He loved her, still loves her so much. They have had their fair share of problems. For the first part of their marriage,
she adapted very badly in being a policeman’s wife, but she grew more supportive over the years and she started shooting with him and cleaning the firearms when needed. Chrissie realizes Henry is watching her and she turns around.

  “Why are you staring at me, Henry?”

  “You are such a beautiful woman. You know that?”

  Chrissie smiles mischievously.

  “You are looking for something again.”

  “No. I don’t need anything more. All I need is right here. Come here.”

  Chrissie gets in bed beside him and allows him to gather her in his arms to hold her. She rests with her head on his chest.

  “What are your thoughts about Barry?”

  “Adrian surely got himself a very special friend. I like him very much. He seems like a very honest person. He just looks so terribly lonely and sad most of the time.”

  Chrissie stays silent for a while.

  “You know something about Barry. What is it?”

  “He lost both his parents two, three months ago. He has no family in South Africa.”

  “That’s terrible! Can you imagine what he must be going through?”

  “I know we barely know him, Henry, but he has gotten into my heart very suddenly. Can’t we do something, get more involved? He and Adrian became best friends. Adrian is not even that close to his own brothers.”

  “What are you suggesting, my angel?”

  “They are both under 21. Barry needs stability. Can’t you arrange for them to come and work at Grabouw after the training? Maybe we can apply to be appointed as his legal guardians until he is 21. They can stay in the cottage. No-one uses the cottage anyway. We can refurbish it. They can stay there until they decide to move elsewhere.”

  Henry kisses her and holds her close.

  “Don’t talk to them about this. I’ll see what I can do in the months lying ahead.”