How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

by Leil Lowndes

  You'll pick up hot hints from the female stars who are moaning, groaning, wiggling, pouting their lips, and flipping their tongues in the air.

  Yet another benefit from men's porno films—you'll pick up fashion tips. You'll see the very latest in teddies, garter belts, stockings, negligees, crotchless panties, nippleless bras, corsets, G-strings, and the occasional leather catsuit or French maid's outfit.

  I don't suggest you rush out to buy this suggestive couture. But if your Quarry should someday surprise you with a little X-rated birthday gift, recognizing it could save you from a relationship-straining groan,

  "What the heck is this?"

  What other instructional material is contained therein? Choreography. You'll definitely discover some new sex positions. On the average, in each porno flick, the movie stars assume from five to twenty-five different positions.

  Storywise, you may ask, what are porno films like?

  Well, not much. After you put the cassette in, you'll think you've skipped the beginning because, in less than thirty seconds, you're into heavy

  action. You haven't missed a thing. There is very little buildup, hardly any plot, no character development, and little personality appreciation. Sort of the way some men like sex? (That's unfair.) Obviously, Huntresses, I am not suggesting that you emu-A COMPARISON OF FEMALE PORN AND MALE PORN Female Porn Stars Male Porn Stars

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  Strong, sensitive men. Respectful, yet recklessly passionate. Hot women. Hotter women. Hottest women. (The only place the directors want depth in a woman is in her cleavage.) Female Porn Script

  Sensitive conversation. More complete sentences than in male pornography, including phrases like, "You are beautiful," "I want you,"

  "I love you," and ' I've dreamed of a woman like you all my life.'

  Female Porn Story Lines Male Porn Story Lines Male Porn Script

  "Oh yeah." "Pump harder." "Don't stop." " more than three to five consecutive words.)

  Yeeeeeeeees

  Female Porn Story Lines Male Porn Story Lines Being seduced by a handsome stranger. Making love in danger of getting caught. Many variations on the fantasy of "being taken." (They don't call it rape .)

  Female Porn Locales

  Old castles, beautiful beaches, exotic islands. Expensive brass or period four-poster beds.

  Female Porn Flavor

  Undiluted vanilla.

  Female Porn Ending

  Fades slowly out on the final kiss after a mutually fulfilling experience.

  Soft music under credits.

  Ranges from very weak to none. Usually, Dicky sees Jane. Dicky does Jane in five to twenty-five positions. (Huntresses, for a real hoot, put your VCR on fast forward and watch Dicky and Jane do it at the speed of light.)

  Male Porn Locales

  Cheesy rooms. Any bed, any couch, any floor.

  Male Porn Flavor

  Every flavor in the book—and then a few nobody ever heard of.

  Male Porn Ending

  Male star climaxes. (Must end at this point because male performer loses his "talent.") Film flickers and screen flashes to black.

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  late the lascivious expressions and corporeal contortions of the female porn stars while making love with your Quarry. But simply having seen a porno flick gives you a more masculine insight into raw sex. The closer a woman is in tune with a man sexually, the hotter sex is for him.

  TECHNIQUE #75 (FOR HUNTRESSES):

  LEARN "RAW SEX" FROM MEN'S FLICKS

  Huntresses, you may laugh (you may also turn green and gag), but study men's porno flicks to pickup some hints

  on raw sex. Men spend millions of dollars annually to see hot women lusting after the male body in such films.

  You don't have to go overboard and act like you'd have an orgasm if your Quarry so much as kissed you, but, to make him fall in love with you, a little lust wouldn't hurt.

  Additional "Coarse" Materials for Your Raw Sex Curriculum

  Huntresses, if you don't have a , all is not lost for you, either. You can get a good cross-gender VCR

  experience by grabbing a handful of men's magazines likPeenthouse, Playboy , and Galleryfrom magazine stores. Turn to the letters section, the most educational part for women by far.

  In men's fantasies, instead of 90 percent buildup and 10 percent sex, you'll find 10 percent buildup and 90

  percent sex. Instead of reading about the eyes, profile, or bronzed skin mentioned in the Harlequin fantasy, men make frequent reference to their own favorite anatomical part—embellished by adjectives likelarge, huge, immense, enormous , and massive .

  Instead of Harlequin's sensitive available partners falling in love, the starring characters of men's fantasies are usually

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  unavailable women who couldn't care less about relationships—the naughty nurse, the horny housewife, the hot baby-sitter, the lascivious lesbian, the pantiless hitchhiker. In fact, in perusing a thigh-high stack of men's magazines, the three little magic words, "I love you," or tender phrases like

  "My darling girl" were nowhere to be found.

  Replacing them were tributes such as "You're one hot little number" and "Oh you insatiable bitch!"

  Obviously, love and sex are not as intertwined in male fantasies.

  TECHNIQUE #76 (FOR HUNTRESSES):

  READ THEIR RAGS

  Huntresses, read a few men's magazines. You'll find the hot letters from hot readers of special interest.

  If what goes in those letters is not precisely true, it's the best documentation of male wishful thinking ever printed.

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  Women?

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  Hunters, you do (I hope) realize that the generalizations (many), the exaggerations (slight), and the humor (weak) in the previous chapter were simply to make a point. Lest you think I was man-bashing, let me now offer you a peace offering.

  Men suffer a bad rap for being less romantic than women. Naturally, if you do a survey of men or women at the mall asking "Who's more romantic?"

  the majority will say wom4e8nA. t first glance, the evidence is pretty overwhelming that women are the romantic s. Indeed, they are when it comes to saying

  "I love you," remembering Valentine's Day, and knowing "it's the little things that count" (like an engagement ring). But when it comes to the truly deep and important definition of romance, you men are the big winners.

  At some point in your life, gentlemen, the woman of your dreams will probably say accusingly (in response to one of your everyday "insensitive"

  remarks) that "you men are all alike! You're so unromantic !" My gift to you is the following.

  Someday it will come in handy, in self-defense. I've packaged it neatly in the form of a quiz that you can give her when she calls you unromantic.

  Who really is capable of loving more, men or women?

  QUESTIONS MEN WOMEN

  Who falls in love faster? __ __ Who is more idealistic about love? __

  __ Who usually initiates the breakup? __ __ Who suffers more from a breakup? __ __ Who loves their lovers more? __ __

  Who Falls In Love Faster? Men!

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  In one study, seven hundred young lovers were asked,

  "How early did you realize you were in love?" Men fell in love faster. Before the fourth date, 20 percent of men had taken the tumble, whereas only 15

  percent of the women realized Cupid had stung them; 43 percent of the women still didn't know they were in love by the twentieth date, compared to only 30

  percent of the men49. Women are more cautious about getting involved.

  Who Is More Idealistic About Love? Men!

  Another study determined that men had a far more idealistic and less practical view of lov50e.Men were not nearly as concerned with a woman's social position or how much money she made.

  More men felt that as long as two people truly love each other, they should have no trouble getting along in marriage.

>   Who Usually Initiates the Breakup? Women!

  A group of Harvard scientists vigilantly followed the affairs of 231 Boston couples. Of those who split up, usually it was the woman who suggested the separation. The men wanted to stick it out to the bitter end.51

  Who Suffers More From a Breakup? Men!

  The men felt lonelier, more depressed, unloved, and least free after a split. The men reported that they found it extremely hard to accept that they were no longer loved and that she had really gone.

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  What disturbed them most was that they felt there was nothing they could do about it. They were plagued with the hope that if only they had said the right thing . . . done the right thing. . . .

  In fact, three times as many men commit suicide after a disastrous love affair as women do.

  Who Loves Their Lovers More? Men!

  Men love their lovers more in relation to others in their life. Several researchers at Yale University polled male and female participants from age 18 to 70 and asked, "Who do you like, and who do you love, most in your life?5"2 The choices were lover (or spouse), best friend, parents, and siblings.

  Men, it turned out, lovedandliked their lovers more than their best friends, whereas, with women, the rankings were about equal. Many women liked their best friends more than they liked their lovers!

  Gentlemen, the next time your lover complains, "You men are so unromantic," just show her these statistics and say, "Yeah, who says? Huh, huh,huh?" (On second thought, just say, "You know, dear, you have a good point. I'm sorry. I'll try to be more romant ic. I love you.")

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  Individual as a Thumbprint

  Hunters, huntresses, let me slap a discreet warning label on my previous recommendation of watching porn flicks. You might get the idea that every man wants a wanton woman slithering all

  over his body and every woman wants to be swept away and seduced by a handsome stranger on Tahiti's shores. Not true. As with so many aspects of life, just when you think you've got the solution, you find the exception. When it comes to sex, the exception is more common than the rule.

  Notwopeoplearealikesexually .

  I learned this the hard way, the first time I fell in love, even before The Project's research confirmed the tremendous diversity in sexual desires. Some years ago, I was visiting an art gallery in Chicago.

  Christopher also happened to be visiting the Windy City that day, installing a show of his own art. I first spotted him across the room, hanging a curious abstract canvas on the wall. I was instantly attracted to him. Everything about him fit my Lovemap. He was artistic, sensitive, and brilliant, and he had lovely, lovely buns.

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  We met, we hit it off, and fortunately he was from New York, too. We started dating back in the Big Apple. It wasn't long before I fell in love with Christopher. Of course, I wanted to do everything I could to make him return the sentiment. My relationship with Christopher was almost ideal. We enjoyed the same activities. We liked the same friends. We both loved going to the theater, skiing, and cycling. Sometimes we would stay awake all night talking. I felt Christopher wtahse one . As time went by, we fell into a wonderful love affair.

  Christopher never said, "I love you," but since everything else about our relationship was ideal, I figured our problem must have been the sex.

  Christopher never lost himself in the throes of passion. He didn't go wild in bed the way I'd read a man should when a woman really knew how to turn him on.

  Our sexual scenario was always the same. After dinner, usually at his apartment, we would be talking.

  At some point in our conversation, Christopher would get a cute little grin on his face, put his hand on my shoulder, slide it down my arm to my hand, and stand up. Sometimes he'd wink and say, "C'mon, little girl." Then he would lead me tentatively into the bedroom. He acted as though he had to proceed gently, cautiously with the seduction. (As if I'd say no?)

  Christopher's lovemaking was warm and loving, but also predictable and lacking passion. I figured that would change if I just knew how to push his buttons.

  I decided I needed to spice things up to make him fall in love with me, but I didn't know exactly how.

  One afternoon, while pondering this dilemma, my eyes happened to fall on an ad in thVeillage Voicefor a three-hour course called "How to Strip for Your Man." It promised to "put some spice in your relationship and drive your man wild." Just what the love doctor ordered, I thought.

  I donned my sexiest underwear and hopped the A train to a stripper's sixth-floor walk-up apartment in a cheesy suburb. That evening, in her one-room flat, four other women and I learned how to

  swivel out of our skirts, provocatively let them drop to the floor, and then step seductively out of them.

  We got step-by-step lessons on how to slide our bra straps down

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  teasingly, flash first our left breast and then our right, and fling the discarded bra across the room as we gyrated our hips. She taught the more agile among us to stretch out on the floor and teasingly whirl our legs around in the air.

  At the end of the class, our teacher went into her back-of-the-room sales pitch. Optional purchases were a cassette of stripper's music and a set of tassels.

  The tassels twirled amazingly well on the more well-endowed students; unfortunately my equipment was not sufficient to get one good spin out of them. However, I bought both products and, with strains of "The Stripper" dancing in my head, took the train straight to Christopher's apartment.

  I couldn't wait for his cute little grin, because that was going to be my cue. Sure enough, about 10:45, the corners of his lips went up. "C'mon, little girl," he said as he took my hand and we started toward the bedroom. But tonight was different. Tonight, I had a surprise for Christopher.

  The moment we entered his bedroom, I pushed my astonished lover into a chair, slipped the cassette into his stereo, and leaped promptly into my routine. A little fancy footwork around his

  dresser. One, two, three. Va-va-voom. Peekaboo, one breast. Four, five, six. Va-va-voom. Peekaboo, the other breast. Then my bra went careening cup over cup across the bedroom, making a perfect two-point landing right on his lap.

  But my stripping coach had neglected one critical performance skill: It is crucial to keep constant eye contact with your audience to know how you're doing.

  As I was writhing around on Christopher's carpet, twirling my legs dangerously near his favorite lamp, I neglected to look at his face. If I had, I would have seen a horrified expression.

  Christopher calmly stood up and walked out of the bedroom and out of the apartment. In tears, I gathered up my skirt, my bra, my cassette, and my unused tassels and ran all the way home. What had gone wrong?

  I didn't hear from Christopher for a week. Finally I called him and asked, "Can we talk?" We met for dinner, and talk we did. He was very forthright. I learned that Christopher's idea of sex was seducing a woman, notbeingseduced. Furthermore,

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  his biggest turn-on, he told me, was not for the woman to be flamboyant and seductive, but to resist.

  Christopher, it turns out, wanted to feel like the virile seducer. Not, as he said, like "some lonely repressed guy who pays to see cheap women dance around."

  Wow! What an eye-opener that was for me. I resolved, at that moment, never again to make any assumptions about a man's sexual desires. Every man is different. (So is every woman, and we'll talk about that later.) On the surface, it may seem like all men just want one thing but, as I learned, there are many recipes to cook up that one thing.

  Sex Is Like a Steak

  Have you ever been hungry for a nice big juicy steak? Let's say today you are famished for a truly great one. As a gourmet steak lover, you know there are sixty-eight shades between very rare and well done, but tonight you want perfection. You go to the best steak house in town. You are very precise when placing your order.

  You tell the wa
iter, "I'd like a filet mignon, please."

  You painstakingly describe how you'd like your steak charred on the outside, fairly rare, but definitely not blue in the middle. You tell him, "Make sure it's pink throughout and hot, not cool, in the middle." The waiter listens patiently until you finish. Then he turns toward the kitchen and shouts, "Gimme a steak for table six!"

  That's the way many of us are about sex. Even when our Potential Love Partner madly hints at some erotic turn-on, we dive into bed with the finesse of a cannonball smacking the beach. Your Quarry may enjoy the sex. You may think it's great, too. But for him, without your understanding of his sixty-eight different shades, the experience is not gourmet. It does nothing for the goal of making him fall in love with you. The saddest part is, he'll never tell you why he lost interest.

  If you dig deep enough, no matter where you are on this earth, you will find water. Dig deep enough into any man's

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  sexuality, and you will find a unique twist, a special spin. Hidden in that tangle is the key to his heart.

  The Number One Sexual Wish

  There is only one sexual fantasy all men and women share. It is to find someone wonderful in bed.

  Question: Who is wonderful? Answer: Someone who fulfills all our sexual desires, someone who likes to give it just the way we like to get it, and someone who knows how to give it just the way we like to get it.Without our having to give step-by-step guidance .

  Many lovers are hesitant to map out detailed directions for their partners about their sexual needs.

  They sincerely believe that ''when the right person comes along, he or she will 'just know' what I want.''

  I once had a friend named Chip. One Christmas eve, he and I were laughing about our childhood experiences and how we used to believe in Santa Claus. Suddenly Chip's face fell flat, and he said,

  "Santa never brought me the presents I wanted."

  "Not even after you found out that Santa Claus was really youmr other ?" I asked him. "Nope." "Well," I asked, "why didn't you give your mother hints?" "Because," Chip explained, "if shereallyloved me, she'd just know what I wanted."