by Leil Lowndes
have another beautiful woman tell him what to do.
Not only will she tell him what to do, but she'll tell him how to do it, and maybe even punish him when he does it wrong. This type of man seeks a sexual partner who will permit him to let it all out, let him cry, let him beg, let him be a helpless child again.
Some men flip the whole fantasy and want to do unto you that which they can't admit to themselves they want done unto them. This type of man keeps these fantasies locked away in his private sexual psyche until some clever Huntress rubs Aladdin's lamp and frees his fantasies and makes him feel OK about them.
Huntresses, if you feel you could be happy with a Jerry, there is a sure way to his heart. Simply play his fantasy games. Not all Jerrys want to dress in women's clothes. Other Jerrys want to spice up their lovemaking with games that involve spanking, tickling, wrestling, or bringing some far-out toys to bed with the two of you.
A Walk on the Weird Side
Some confirmed bachelors have even deeper, darker secrets. Like the duckling who identifies as its mother the first moving object it sees once it leaves the egg, some young boys carry throughout their lives an incurable attraction to an experience or object that left a profound impression on them. If a young boy's sexual cravings misfire, they can get tied to the rubber apron that rubbed against his little genitals while Mother was diapering him or the bare feet he saw walking around his crib. For some few men, these can develop into full-blown fetishes. Because fetishes are practically nonexistent in females, many women do not understand them.
Can you change your Quarry's desires, help him grow out of them? No, therapists tell us. Just as it's practically impossible to change a gay man and make him heterosexual, it's a losing battle to try to change a kinky man and make him go straight. Most far-out fantasies, like Jerry's desire to wear female Page 302
clothing, are baffling, but they generally fall into definable categories.
Suffice it to say that if you do find yourself interested in a Jerry or some other sexually exotic species, simply make a return trip to your video library. This time, say, "Ahem, Id like a bondage [or whatever his kick is] film, please."
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Let us know surface from the underground to Main Street, Everytown, USA, and a problem thaat ll men and women face when they're out with their main squeeze.
A couple, Dick and Jane, are happily strolling hand in hand along the sidewalk together. A gorgeous woman comes slinking toward them from the opposite direction. "Rats," Jane thinks: "I just bet Dick's going to look at her. He wouldn't dare."
"Va va va voom !" Dick thinks. "What a dish!
Whoops, I'd better not let Jane catch me looking at her. Well, I'll just keep my head straight ahead and strike when the eyein' is hot. I'll give my eyes a quickie as she passes close to us."
Dick and Jane keep walking, nonchalantly, oblivious, of course, to the approaching dish. Dick smiles at Jane and gives her hand a squeeze for reassurance.
Jane smiles contentedly.
The dish gets closer. And closer. This is Dick's window of opportunity. It's now or never. He lets his eyeballs swivel her way for a split second. Does he get away with it?
Not in a pig's eye! As far is Jane is concerned, Dick's eyeballs might as well be hanging out and dangling by the optic nerve as the dish passed. Jane goes into a funk or a bout of inse-Page 304
curity, or she hits Dick with an original line like,
"What, you've never seen a woman before?" Bad scene.
TECHNIQUE #83 (FOR HUNTERS):
NO LOOKEE-DISHEE
Hunters, to win the heart of your Quarry, don horse blinders whenever you're with her. Keep your eyeballs on a strict diet.
In fact, pray that a dazzling dish walks your way just so you can prove to your Quarry how oblivious you are to
other women—how you only have eyes for your own fair lady.
Huntress, here's a trick that will help you win the heart of your male Quarry when the inevitable happens. Let me put this in the form of a legal argument.
WHEREAS: All men enjoy looking at other women . . . no matter how much they pretend they don't,
WHEREAS: Men love it when a woman gives him permission to do something he really wanted to do all along but felt he shouldn't, THEREFORE: To win the heart of your Quarry, help him do what he wants to do all along. Give him guilt-free snacks. Point out the good-looking cookies. Make him look at other women .
Point out other women on the street, at a party, on television. Search for them in crowds and make sure your Quarry doesn't miss a single one. How much more affection Dick
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would have felt for Jane if she had said as she spotted the advancing dish, ''Wow, Dick, you're going to like what's coming."
TECHNIQUE #84 (FOR HUNTRESSES):
LOOKEE-DISHEE
Huntresses, point out attractive women to your Quarry to give him permission to look at them. Say things like, "Now, there's a woman with style," or even, "Wow, is she pretty, or what?"
If he's smart, your Quarry will probably protest and mumble something about how you are better-looking.
But then he'll have his guilt-free gander, and you'll have a much happier goose.
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Never let it be said that one tiny pebble was left unturned in the exploration oHfow to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You . No thorough investigation would be complete without examining another passage to our Quarry's heart—the nasal passage, or pheromones.
What? Pheromones . Chemical body excretions.
Body odors.
There has been much talk in recent years of pheromones. In certain insects and animals, pheromones have proved to be potent stuff indeed.
Some bugs just gotta have it when they get an olfactory jolt. And when a female pig gets a whiff of pheromones emanating from a sweaty male pig, she spreads her nostrils, turns her rump toward him, and oinks seductively.
In human animals, sweat, foot odor, and vaginal fluids (the odors that Americans gratefully pay deodorant companies to wipe out) would count as pheromones. Do they work? Do male body
odors have the same effect on human females and vice versa as they have on the opposite sexes in the animal kingdom?
Certain humans do openly respond to body odors.
Many men like the scent of a woman's underarms.
Napoleon report-
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edly sent a letter to his beloved Josephine imploring her, "I will be arriving in Paris tomorrow evening.
Don't wash." Today, however, the average wife would be more apt to send her pit-sniffing husband to a sex therapist.
Skepticism aside, some researchers still harbor high hopes for human pheromones. Half a dozen respected scientists think they have discovered a new sense organ in our nasal cavity called the
vomeronasal organ , or VNO . These scientists tell us that anatomists have overlooked this organ for centuries. No wonder—it is nothing more than a tiny, pale pit near the bottom of the septal wall dividing the nose. This minuscule dent is reported to detect chemical signals passed unconsciously between people.
To prove their point, these scientists did what all scientists do. They conducted experiments. But when their human research subjects lay flat on their backs flaring their nostrils for science, nothing happened.
Women who sniffed armpit pads that men had worn for several days did experience a slight change in their menstrual cycles, but they certainly reported no feelings of sexual attraction.
However, modern-day scientists and entrepreneurs, ever in search of a headline-grabbing discovery, continue their research. The hope (and the hype?) is that by bottling a form of human body odors, humans will be able to generate the same reaction as the female pig when she gets a blast of boar breath. One clever entrepreneur has already bottled a new form of the old substance, body odor,
and is selling it at seventy dollars for fifty millimeters.
Mail-order catalogues have jumped on the BO
bandwagon and are advertising secret ingredients from the human body guaranteed to hypnotize and attract members of the opposite sex.
I've conducted little firsthand research in this area, but my own unscientific observation is that, if you dab some pheromones behind each ear, you may indeed find horny female insects flying around your head. No evidence to date proves to me that pheromones can cause the same reactions in humans.
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The sense of smell, however, is a powerful attraction.
Who knows? There's a whiff of evidence that these scientists and entrepreneurs are on to something—
enough, at least, to warrant one final bit of advice: Be very conscious of the effects your smell can have on your Quarry.
TECHNIQUE #85:
WHO NOSE?
Don't expect your Quarry to fall nose over heels in love with you just because of your scent. However, since pheromones play an important role in animal erotica, cover your bets. Give your relationship an olfactory boost by letting your Quarry choose your perfume or aftershave for you.
AFTERWORD
We enter this world from our mother's womb, alone.
We live our lives in a solitude defined by the boundary of our mind and our body. And we exit this earthly existence unaccompanied. If, in between, two solitudes can find togetherness and communion with another mortal, they find true happiness indeed. But true love is a luxury, not our preordained birthright. As with achieving any luxury, we must examine the most powerful methods to acquire it.
We look to scientific research to tell uswhypeople fall in love and then fashion our deeds to meet the needs of the mortal we want to make fall in love with us. But, as the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge wrote in a letter to one of his colleagues, ' I believe the souls of five hundred Sir Isaac Newtons would go to the making up of a Shakespeare or a Milton."
So it is with love. Harken the studies which tell us of the six elements we have explored:
the impact of first impressions , theinfluenceof similarity , the skewed reckoning of the narcissism of
the magnitude of the joy and enrapturement of equity , ego ,
gender differences
, and sex .
Spike your arrow with this wisdom and the techniques that science has spawned. But as you take aim at your Quarry, never forget the artistry, the creativity, and thmeagicof love. A great performer studies techniques for a lifetime but, flooded by the warmth of the spotlight, those grueling years of practice fade into the past. Triumphant performers give themselves to the moment, and let the magic unfold naturally. So it is with romance. Study and practice the techniques to make somebody fall in love with you. But when the moment arrives, give yourself to it. Follow your instincts and obey your heart.
I wish you love.
NOTES
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
LEIL LOWNDES, internationally recognized communications expert, has presented programs in practically every major U.S. city. She has coached Fortune 500 executives on interpersonal communications and has conducted communications seminars for the U.S. Peace Corps, foreign governments, and major corporations. She is the author of three books, including the topsellinHgow to Talk to Anybody About Anything .
