All My Life

by Susan Lucci

  Helmut also framed a photo of Stevie Wonder, with whom I got the chance to sing “I Just Called to Say I Love You” during a scene at the Chateau. Erica Kane was promoting a “Don’t Drink and Drive” campaign in that scene. There were also photos with Victoria Principal, Diana Ross, and Julio Iglesias at a nightclub in New York called Club A. I used to see them from time to time when Helmut and I went dancing there in the late seventies and early eighties. It was a very popular club during the height of the Studio 54 days, but much lower key. And there was even a photo of me with Danny Sullivan, who taught me how to drive an Indy race car.

  There was the plaque commemorating my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, something I absolutely loved receiving. What made it so extra special is that my star sits right in the front of the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles, which is where the Daytime Emmys are now held, as well as the Oscars!

  The Hollywood Walk of Fame is something every aspiring actor or actress grows up dreaming about. It was something I read about in the newspapers and magazines, but I never realized I would someday be a part of it. I was told that many fans had written in on my behalf, rallying behind me to get that star. Although I had spent pockets of time in Los Angeles making movies or doing cameo roles for television, I wasn’t part of the Hollywood community. When I was told that I was going to receive a star on the Walk of Fame, I was very honored that Hollywood would embrace me in that way.

  I didn’t know what to expect on the day of the presentation. The ceremony took place on a drizzly afternoon in front of the newly built Kodak Theatre. I knew it wasn’t going to be a good hair day, but it was very exciting to be there. Helmut, Andreas, Liza, and her husband, Alex, were with me, too. Agnes Nixon, who flew in from New York, and Bob Iger, then the president of the Walt Disney Company, and who was once the studio supervisor at All My Children, both spoke on my behalf before presenting me with the plaque commemorating my star. Several members from the cast of All My Children were also there to help me celebrate this milestone career event.

  Agnes spoke first, saying generous and glowing things about my work as Erica Kane. When Bob Iger spoke, he recalled a story that I’d never forgotten—it took place in our old studio on Sixty-seventh Street in New York in the mid-70s. It was shortly after I had given birth to Liza. Since there were no telephones in our dressing rooms and cell phones had yet to be invented, I asked Bob if he would mind my using a vacant office in the studio from time to time to call home and check on my daughter. Much to my delight, he said yes. Bob Iger’s speech was charming, and given his enormously busy schedule, he was exceptionally kind to agree to be a part of the ceremony.

  The next day Helmut suggested we go back to look at the star once more before we left. I told him I thought it was a great idea.

  “Where is it?” I asked. I wasn’t being ditzy or coy. I just assumed that the ceremony took place in front of the Kodak, but that star was obviously moved somewhere else afterward.

  “It’s right where it was yesterday!” Helmut said.

  I really had no idea they were going to keep my star where it was. That was very exciting because the location was almost as poignant for a television actress as having footprints in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre would be for a classic film actor in the 1920s, ’30s, ’40s, or ’50s. When we returned to Hollywood later that day, there were the usual tour buses lined up and down Hollywood Boulevard. As we got closer to my new star, there were actually people standing around it taking pictures. I didn’t want to call attention to myself, so I patiently waited to take my turn. One of the bus drivers came over and tapped some of his riders’ shoulders and pointed to me standing there. It was a very funny moment for all of us. A lot of jaws dropped and there were a few audible gasps before the picture taking began. It was a lot of fun to experience this moment with the fans.

  The first time I attended the Emmys after receiving my star was a very special and memorable night. I had to smile, just a little bit, when I walked the red carpet and saw that they had cut the carpet where my star was placed in the sidewalk so it would be visible.

  In life, you can bet that oftentimes things do come full circle. I was reminded of this when I saw a copy of a caricature of me hanging on our basement wall. The original, of course, hangs on the wall at Sardi’s in New York. I never dreamed that my caricature would join all the other famous caricatures on the walls of that restaurant when I used to go there with my mother so many years ago.

  And then there was the black-and-white photo of Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Shirley MacLaine, and me at the Friars Club testimonial dinner in honor of Dean Martin on September 13, 1984, at the Waldorf-Astoria. Frank Sinatra was the master of ceremonies. I had no personal connection to Dean Martin, so I was surprised but thrilled and honored to be asked to sit on the dais.

  Helmut and I were at the cocktail reception before the ceremony. There was quite a large group in attendance, including Milton Berle, Red Buttons, Dick Cavett, who had been a guest on All My Children, Angie Dickenson, Lucille Ball, Brooke Shields, Joe Piscopo, and Shirley MacLaine, my father’s favorite actress because she has red hair like my mother. I was so excited when I spotted Sammy Davis Jr. across the room. I have always considered him one of the great performers of all time. I suddenly noticed that Sammy was walking toward me. I automatically assumed he was heading over to speak with Frank, Dean, and Shirley, who were in close proximity to Helmut and me. But as he crossed the room, I realized that he was slowly coming closer and closer to me. I had seen Sammy on Broadway in Golden Boy many years before this event. I had always wanted to meet him, and now, I finally had my chance, as he was within earshot of me. As he got closer I could see that he was holding a briefcase in his right hand. He stopped right in front of me, put his briefcase down, held out his right hand, and introduced himself.

  “I love your work,” he said…to ME! I wanted to cry and tell him about the day I waited for him outside the stage door, but I didn’t have the courage or the words. I was completely starstruck and tongue-tied.

  “Would you like to meet Frank Sinatra?” he asked.

  Of course I did. Sammy took me by the hand, walked me over to meet the Chairman himself, who I was certain had never seen a single episode of All My Children—and that was fine by me. Sammy began telling Frank all about me, my character, the show, going on and on, saying so many glowing things about my work to Shirley Mac Laine, Dean Martin, and Frank Sinatra. I wanted to pinch myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream and did my best to conceal my obvious blushing. This was a moment I will never forget.

  I continued looking at all of the memorabilia Helmut had collected. As I turned the corner and rounded the fireplace, I noticed numerous magazine covers I had all but forgotten about. There was one in that collection that was particularly memorable—the cover of Cigar Aficionado. The cover was shot after I won my Emmy in 1999. It was one of my all-time-favorite shoots. The photo shows me sitting in a bathtub holding a cigar, wearing a gorgeous diamond necklace and surrounded by perfect floating red roses. Although I’ve never been a smoker, I took a few puffs on the cigar that day. I didn’t love the taste, so to help me out, No-No, my wardrobe mistress from All My Children who was with me for the shoot, helped me by smoking the cigar until the ash got to just the right place. Still, I thought the concept of that magazine cover was fabulous and the shoot had been an experience I adored being a part of.

  When I stood in the basement and realized the vastness of my experiences, all of which came as a result of playing one single character, there was no way I could ever look back on my life and think, Bitter. Never.

  So as the move to Los Angeles loomed over my head, I did what I always do—I accentuated the positive. I knew in my heart and soul that All My Children had always been a wonderful place to work. There were so many memories of shooting the show during its forty years in the Big Apple. Every story shared, every controversial subject tackled, every funny behind-the-scenes moment savored, and every opportunity to work with in
credibly amazing people on-screen and off for those first forty years unfolded right there within those studio walls on the west side of Manhattan or some fantastic fairy-tale location I was lucky enough to film in. It seemed impossible that Los Angeles would have a fair chance to match those memories, but I was willing to give it a try.

  CHAPTER 18

  Looking Back to Go Forward

  There is a real ensemble feel on the set of All My Children. It’s very hard to say what creates that among the cast. We are essentially a group of actors thrown together with the expectation of putting on a great show. But one of the wonderful hallmarks of All My Children is that it was created with characters representing every generation. The actors who play (and have played) these characters come from a variety of backgrounds, have lived in different times, and each has unique experiences that they bring to their roles. Somehow, that combination really makes things work on our set. I love when generations are mixed together and I think our audiences have loved it, too. As far back as I can remember, the fans embraced Ruth Warrick, Ray MacDonnell, James “Jimmy” Mitchell, Eileen Herlie, and Fra Heflin every bit as much as they embraced Michael E. Knight, Walt Willey, Darnell Williams, Debbie Morgan, and me. People tune in to watch characters who they can identify with and who they can become emotionally invested in. That wasn’t accidental, as I am certain Agnes Nixon knew exactly what she was doing when she created the backstories for each of these unforgettable people.

  There have been many times throughout my career when I’ve spent more time with the actors who have played the men, women, and children in Erica’s life than I was able to spend with my real-life husband and children. But these amazingly talented and gifted people made that time fun, exciting, rewarding, and often very, very sexy.

  I learned so much as an actor and as a person from these great professionals who were worldly, sophisticated, bright, and experienced. Jimmy, Ruth, Fra, Eileen, and others had so many interesting adventures to share. I was grateful for their insightful comments on life, political and social events, the arts, and on aspects of our scripts and the direction of the show. These were rich performers and rich beings who enhanced my life in ways I could never have imagined when I took the part of Erica Kane so many years ago.

  I wanted, felt, and needed to believe that working in Los Angeles would bring together a new generation of actors who could enjoy that same camaraderie, but I also had to realize that some of the veterans of the show might not choose to make the move—or that those who did might not like the change enough to stay. One of those actors was David Canary, who played Adam Chandler. I have always loved working with David. Although he came out to Los Angeles when we began filming there in early 2010, he only remained with the show for a few short months. I had no idea how much I would miss him until we began to work without his company on the set. He has a very powerful presence on-screen and in person. David is such a wonderful actor. He played a fantastically complex character who shared a most complicated relationship with Erica Kane.

  The first time I laid eyes on David Canary was when I used to watch him on Bonanza, as Candy Canaday. Suddenly, years later, he was on our show. I got to see David ride a horse in person for the first time when we shot on location up in Canada. He rode western and held his reins in one hand like an old pro. He was doing a scene that required him to ride along a rocky cliff, so the horses were slipping all over the place. Unfortunately, the director had no riding experience, so he had no way of knowing that he was putting everyone in danger. He asked David to do the scene again, only this time he wanted him to get even closer to the edge of the cliff. I stood off to the side watching as David did his scene flawlessly. But every time I looked at David on his horse, the only thing I could hear in my head was the theme song to Bonanza.

  Later in the day, he and I were set to do a scene on horseback. Five actors on the show were riding in this particular scene. David was just behind me to my left while the others flanked us on either side. It was nearing sundown. The horses were tired and definitely ready to head back to the stable. The scene called for a helicopter to capture some aerial shots. I was once told that when a horse gets spooked, it will sometimes suck in its stomach. If it does that, the girth can loosen and slip. As I mounted my horse, the stage manager began counting down to the scene. I wasn’t quite ready when the horses took off like a shot. My horse’s girth slipped, which made my saddle fall sideways. I had lost my footing in the stirrups and was holding on to the horse’s mane. As I was hanging off the side, I kept thinking that if I let go, I wasn’t that far from the ground. What I hadn’t considered were the four other horses that were stampeding close to my head. My horse was in a full gallop, and I was scared. Out of the corner of my eye, I could only see the other horses’ hooves, so I knew I had to hold on or I would be trampled. The next thing I knew, the wife of the horses’ owner came running out and somehow grabbed my reins. She miraculously got the horse to stop before I was seriously injured. As I climbed down, David rode up and said, “Thank God you didn’t let go. I knew what you were thinking!” And he was right.

  One of the reasons it was so much fun to work with David was that Adam and Erica had such a long and tumultuous relationship. Adam came to Pine Valley in 1984. He was the producer of the movie based on Erica’s autobiography, Raising Kane, written with Mike Roy, Erica’s ghostwriter. Mike was played by Nick Surovy, who had a definite worldliness about him. Nick, by the way, was very charming and very well traveled. His mother was a famous opera singer, Risë Stevens. He once gave me tickets to his mother’s box at the Metropolitan Opera in New York so I could take my children to see their first opera—Hansel and Gretel—on New Year’s Day. It was very nice of him to do that for my family.

  Anyway, Erica and Mike discovered that they had developed feelings for each other during the process of writing her book. I believe he could have been the real love of Erica’s life. It was an unexpected pairing. He was a journalist and a no-nonsense kind of guy, hardly the type our audience would think Erica would fall for. He had no clue who Erica was, and when he found out, he could have cared less. She was completely outraged that he didn’t know anything about her. He teased her often and knew how to push all of her buttons. Erica loved that Mike was so irreverent with her. It took Mike a while to realize there was more to Erica than met the eye.

  When Adam and Erica met for the first time, he did everything he could to get Mike out of the picture so he could pursue Erica. He wanted to become Erica’s fourth husband. Adam somehow figured out a way to send Mike off to Tibet to work on a story assignment. Once Mike was gone, Adam could pursue Erica without any distractions. Erica was very unhappy that Mike left her to do the assignment all the way in Tibet. She felt abandoned and alone.

  And although Erica had achieved her own success by the time she met Adam, she knew he could open even bigger doors for her than she’d been able to do for herself. Erica began to play with the big boys when she started her relationship with Adam Chandler, taking her to a different league than she’d ever been in before.

  Adam was ruthless and manipulative. He wanted to possess Erica. Although she wasn’t in love with him, Adam convinced her to marry him by promising to take her to Hollywood and to financially back films that would make her a star. In 1984, Erica married Adam on the rebound from Mike and out of revenge for Mike’s leaving her.

  I believe there was always a great love between Adam and Erica, but they were never meant to be husband and wife. To test her love, Adam faked his own death. When she believed he was dead, she realized that she was still in love with Mike Roy. She had her marriage to Adam annulled so she could be free to marry Mike when he returned to Pine Valley. When Adam turned up alive, he forced Erica to choose between his money and her love for Mike. It was an easy decision for Erica because she genuinely loved Mike and knew she was not in love with Adam.

  Mike was unexpectedly shot and killed doing an undercover story for Brooke English, played by the fabulous Julia Barr. Eri
ca made her vows to Mike as he lay dying in her arms. Unfortunately, the marriage was not valid because at the time, she wasn’t actually divorced from Adam.

  Adam did not leave the picture entirely, but at this point, Erica, who was terribly distraught over the loss of Mike, decided to go to Tibet, a place she knew Mike loved. There she would scatter his ashes. And there she would learn that Mike had once saved the life of a monk. Erica was beside herself, worried that she would never be able to live without Mike. While she was in Tibet, Mike’s spirit came to her and told her she had to return to Pine Valley because there was someone wonderful waiting for her there. When she returned, she took a job as editor in chief at Tempo magazine, where she met a handsome man named Jeremy Hunter, who had arrived to do some artwork for the magazine. Erica didn’t know that Jeremy was the monk Mike had saved in Tibet, but there was a very strong connection between them. Erica and Jeremy were instantly attracted to each other and fell deeply in love.

  Jeremy was played by Jean LeClerc, a French-Canadian actor who was very handsome, charming, and extremely experienced. Jeremy’s character was a monk, so he was very pure in his heart and his mind. Erica faced a challenge with Jeremy’s vow of celibacy. She set out to change his pure heart and intentions. And although she never succeeded, they came very close—very, very close.

  When Jeremy was arrested for murdering Earl Mitchell, a jealous husband whose wife had been having an affair with Erica’s brother Mark, Erica didn’t think she could live without him. Erica’s brother was played by a wonderful actor named Mark LaMura. Mark had a headful of gorgeous curly hair, big blue eyes, adorable dimples, and a beautiful smile. He is a classically trained Shakespearean actor whom I loved working with. Mark and I see each other in New York or Los Angeles from time to time. Before Erica learned that he was her brother, the two of them had been on the verge of becoming lovers. Mona and the audience knew the truth and that they had to be stopped, but Mark and Erica didn’t have a clue.