Same Old Song

by Brenda Dorantes

  Mr. and Mrs. Garner walked up to me after they all gathered up in the backstage room. They looked more like seniors than young people that taught me all I know seventeen years ago. That's what years of work do to you, I guess.

  "I'm glad you came," Mr. Garner said as the students left the backstage. "How have you been?"

  "Better as it can be expected," I answered, leaning against the piano. "How are you, Mrs. Garner?"

  She smiles - sort of - and said, "I'm good. Thank you, Aidan. I heard that you and Katherine Dawson married?"

  "Callahan," I corrected her. "We married four years after graduation. Surprised you didn't know," I replied.

  She shook her head and narrowed her eyes at her husband. "Mr. Garner never told me until he mentioned you might make an appearance here. Well, congratulations. Even when we're like years late," she laughed.

  Wow, it sure is weird to see her laugh. Back in college, she was the coldest woman I've ever met. She was determined, showed no mercy with grades and definitely didn't look like the type who liked to have students as friends.

  "We'll leave you to it. Good luck tonight." Mr. Garner gave me a pat on the back before walking away hand-in-hand with his wife.

  One of the people in charge of the show walked in and told me it was time to head to the stage. From the door I could see the familiar stage I stepped on once a long time ago. It looked golden, even polished. In the center of the stage stood the shiny black piano. With a deep breath and one quick thought that this was going to be over soon, I slowly made my way to the piano, as if it could grow legs and walk away any second.

  The curtains were down but I still heard the low murmuring of the crowd on the other side.

  Another déjà vu. My hands shook uncontrollably, my heart hammered my chest and my head felt slightly dizzy. I haven't felt this way in such a long time that it feels like the first time. My hands run over the top of the piano, remembering the sensation. I took my seat on the bench and my hands trailed down to the keys.

  "Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a round of applause to Aidan Callahan!" Said the announcer over the speakers.

  The people in the crowd applauded as the curtains were raised. Just then, in the front row, I saw my children sitting next to their grandparents. Next to my mother were Alex, Leila and Willow; then Matthew, Jessie, Matt and Lisa. In the center holding Lewis is Katherine. She's giving him soft pats on the back.

  She smiled at me when our eyes finally met. That sweet smile I love so much. That smile I've loved since day one. She nodded at me without losing her smile and just as that first time I laid eyes on her, I smiled back and nodded myself.

  Just then, the music began.

  Epilogue

  It took me seven years after his burial to visit his grave again. I went alone. It was a cold fall day and the sun was setting on the horizon. The sky was turning red, yellow, orange and pink. The air was faint and cold. My skin crawled as I watched his tombstone.

  Charlie Callahan Dawson

  It took me a lifetime of experiences, glory, mistakes and lessons to become the man I once used to be. Sometimes, I felt just as lost as I did before. As if I could never come back, but I would look up at my family and realize they are the reason why I tried every day.

  It was standing there over my son's grave that the most extraordinary thing happened. Something I've never experienced myself. Something so amazing, I felt numb. I saw my own future flash through my eyes like someone hit a fast forward button on the remote control.

  It was standing there that I saw myself many months later helping Lewis with his first steps, guiding him toward Katherine who waited with her arms open and his siblings cheering him on. It was there where I watched how Katherine taught him how to talk with all those funny faces she made in the process.

  It was standing there that I drove Tate to his soccer practice. I watched Kathy nurse his ankle after he had gotten hurt during practice weeks after. Weeks later, I jumped to my feet when he scored his first goal as the forward of the team and it went like that all the way to the first championship his team won.

  I saw myself getting up on my feet and clapping for my daughter who played the cello at her first Christmas recital. She looked both happy and relieved. I saw myself talking to her about her first boyfriend. Driving her to high school where I'd see her one night in a beautiful peach dress and being taken by the arm of her date for Prom. I saw myself stand up many days later when the principal called her name over the speakers to give her the diploma.

  And it was like that. Three times, I proudly saw how each of our children graduated from high school and later college with the masters they wanted and the future they choose for themselves.

  I saw myself standing at the side of the altar where Tate walked down the aisle with his mother and waited for his bride. Later it was Lewis who during our Christmas celebration proposed to his long term girlfriend in front of the whole family.

  My sons, great men they became.

  At the age of twenty-six, I would walk Elizabeth down the aisle and - with a heavy heart - give her up to the man of her choosing. She was a woman, but she would always be my little girl. I would dance with her at her wedding. I had to say goodbye and watch her get in the car with her husband and drive off to their honeymoon, ready to start their lives together.

  My little girl, who at the age of twenty-eight in a community hospital would place in my arms my first granddaughter named Charlie. She named her after brother whom she loved so dearly thanks to the stories her mother told them when they were younger when it was still hard for me to tell them myself.

  The best part of it all is that she was there in every single one of the moments. Katherine, the love of my life. I looked back at the very moment where it all started. That moment where our eyes met for the first time from across the room at that college party we were both dragged to. A party I will never regret going to.

  My goal has always been to teach our children never to take any moment for granted because no matter how absurd they could be, they would end up being the moments that will be the most valuable in life.

  I've never felt this light before in my life. I never thought that the tight squeeze I had in my chest would one day go away and be replaced with all the air I needed so much. My hands have been finally untied and the blindfold is off.

  I smiled down at Charlie's grave and placed the plane from the airplane kit I got him for his fifth birthday against his tombstone. The plane I built with his siblings the night prior.

  "Thank you," I said, my throat tightening with all the emotions that flooded my body for my sweet boy that I love so much. "I'll be back to see you soon. I promise." And that's a promise I will never break again.

  Just like that, I walked away from his grave a second time. The only difference there was from the first time is that I no longer felt regret.

  * * *

  I walked outside my house to my porch where Katherine stood looking out to the field. Her head laid against the fence, her arms wrapped around herself. Some things just never change. I walk up to her, placing my hand on her waist.

  I love how peaceful she looked, how relaxed her posture was. I love how much I loved her and the fact that if it wasn't for her, I'd have nothing at this point in my life. Call me crazy, but I worship the ground she walks on. Even in the darkest moments, she stayed and even when she was at the edge of giving up, she still managed to give me a second chance when I never deserved one.

  It was time to tell her what I never said out loud. Something that I so selfishly thought never had to be spoken out loud.

  "I need to tell you something. It's been kind of eating me alive for a while."

  Her head snapped back at me and looked at me with worry. "Is everything okay? What's wrong?" She asked.

  I smile at her. "Nothing is wrong." Pause. What could be wrong?

  "I wanted to say thank you."

  She frowned. "What?"

  "Thank you."

  She ra
ised both her eyebrows in a sign of surprise. She turned her entire body to face me and said, "For what?"

  "Everything." I leaned forward and kissed her before she had the time to protest.

  "Daddy!" We turned to the field where Elizabeth and her brother played with their baby brother. Elizabeth waved me to go join them.

  I turn to look at Katherine who smiled at me before giving me another kiss. "Go, they've been waiting for you."

  I nod walking off to the field, taking Lewis from Elizabeth as they both run off ready to play tag. Before I even started chasing them, I noticed Katherine looking at us with that sweet smile of hers. That smile I love so much. That's how I know she's happy, that's how I know everything is going to be okay. I put six-month-old Lewis over my shoulders and carefully run after my screaming children.

  We spent the day like this. Playing tag around the field, hide and seek. The kids laughed, ran, jumped, danced and all these other things that surprised me how they could still have the energy for more. Katherine joined us when Elizabeth wanted to get on our swing set. So me and Tate pushed her and Elizabeth by turns. Their laughter was the best part. That little smile on Lewis's face as he sat on his mother's lap, the excitement of Tate and the giggles from Elizabeth.

  It was, in fact, a perfect day.

  By the time the sun was setting at the horizon, Katherine and I sat on a blanket in our yard. Her back was pressed against my chest while she played with Lewis who sat on her lap. She bounced him, kissed him, tickled him and he loved it. He loved his mother just like we all did. With her free hand, Katherine grabbed mine and latched our fingers together in a tight grip. I looked at her in the eyes and she smiled at me and said, "We made it."

  Yes, we did. I kissed her forehead and we both watched how Lizzie and Tate played from afar, never showing any signs of getting tired. From afar the sky turned to those amazing colors red, yellow, orange and pink.

  I wish everyday could be like this. I wish everyday could be laughter and joy, but life is never going to be perfect. It never was meant to be. Life is meant to be enjoyed, yes; but also it's meant to be learned from. There are fights, disagreements, sometimes pain involved but it is all those moments that make up for days like this, like today.

  And even when my son Charlie is not here to share these days with us physically, I know he will from wherever he is, touching the sky and laughing that adorable little toddler laugh of his waiting for the day we reunite. I know that one day I will see him again. When that day comes, I'd be happy to hold him in my arms one more time and tell him how much I love him.

  But until that day comes, I'll be here in this imperfect world with the people that made it so beautiful for me and as long as I have them, I'll be okay.

  The End.

  About the Author

  Brenda Dorantes is a college student at College of Southern Nevada. Brenda began writing at thirteen on the popular app Wattpad and wrote her first novel “Same Old Song” at age fifteen.

  For more,

  www.instagram.com/brenda_dorantes_24

  www.twitter.com/BrendaDorantesG