by Jane Henry
Tony rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he said. “I won’t. But I hate keeping secrets.”
Matt snorted. “Unless it’s about Val.”
Tony scowled. Asshole.
“Seriously, man, you need to call Val. Tell her this is it, and things are over, for good. No more text messages… no more communications, period. You can’t let her string you along this way. If Tess finds out…”
“Tess won’t find out, okay? I’ll take care of everything,” Tony assured him.
And he would. Somehow. Everything would be fine.
* * *
When Hillie had said that Alice needed to raise funds for her kid’s school, Tony had somehow pictured some tiny little fair at a regular suburban elementary school, like the one Tony himself had attended. He had not expected a setup that rivaled a theme park in terms of size and scope. But then again, he hadn’t expected that her kid attended Pevrell and Brahms, once of the most exclusive private schools in town.
He couldn’t deny, it made for a pretty scene. The school was a trio of red brick buildings covered in ivy that was slowly turning color, flanked by rolling fields of lush green grass where picturesque white booths and display tables were set up. Further back, the whirling and clanging of the rides and games mixed with the sounds of childish giggles. The air was chilly in that clear, crisp late-October-in-New-England way, where the sun was still high and warm, but the cold breeze reminded you that the weather isn’t gonna hold, and you’ll be in for a storm before long.
This was the foreboding thought in Tony’s mind as he made his way across the packed parking lot to the “fairgrounds.”
“We are never going to find Heidi and Dom and everyone in this crowd,” he told the silent woman at his side.
She murmured noncommittally, which was typical of the responses she’d given him for the past twenty-four hours. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his head in frustration.
“I’m gonna ask you one more time, Tessa. What the fuck is wrong?” he demanded.
In truth, he already knew. Things had been fine between them—more than fine!—until yesterday afternoon when he’d fucked up by giving her that very public swat and reprimand, right in Matteo’s living room. Tess was a private person—how many times had she insisted on staying professional and keeping their distance in front of other people? Without thinking, he’d crossed that line.
And if that was the problem, he was prepared to discuss it with her, to find out what the underlying issue was, to figure out how they should proceed…
But first the woman had to fucking talk to him.
He’d tried everything he could think of to get her to open up, from joking to threatening spankings. She’d answered him the same way every time. “I don’t want to talk right now, and I don’t want a spanking. Please leave me alone.”
He hadn’t the first fucking clue how to proceed from there.
Up until now, every spanking he’d administered had been with her enthusiastic agreement. Hell, she’d been begging for it. But now, when he felt like she most needed it, like they most needed it, to get them back on track and centered, it seemed like she’d withdrawn her consent. And he couldn’t do anything without her okay, could he?
So they’d moved through the night and day, with her not talking or touching him or even meeting his eyes. And, by now, he was annoyed.
Oh, what the hell. He was fucking pissed.
They approached the entrance gate, and Tony handed over their ticket money to an incredibly thin, fake-looking blonde wearing tight leggings and those weird furry boot things.
“And whose list should I put you on?” she asked giving him a bright smile.
“Pardon?” Tess asked, her eyes narrowed.
“Which child are you here for?” the woman elaborated, her smile slipping several notches as she evaluated Tess’s outfit—a fitted flannel shirt and another pair of those ass-hugging jeans that made Tony want to drop to his knees and thank God he was a man… even when he was ready to spank the hell out of her.
Clearly the woman was jealous of what she saw, because her lips took on a pinched look and she exchanged a sidelong glance with the other woman at the table, a fake-looking brunette in a pumpkin sweater.
“We’re here for Charlie Cavanaugh,” Tess challenged, as though daring the woman to say a word against the boy.
“I see,” the blonde said, making a note on a sheet of paper. “Well, I’m sure Miss Cavanaugh will appreciate that. She’s a bit behind!” She exchanged another glance with pumpkin-woman, and they both gave a weird half-chuckle that put Tony’s back up.
But for Tess, that chuckle acted like a spark to tinder.
“Behind in what?” Tess demanded.
The pumpkin lady didn’t even pretend to be friendly. “Behind in her fundraising requirement. All of the children on scholarships are required to raise a certain amount through fundraisers. Somehow, Miss Cavanaugh has managed to skate by until now, but this year those of us on the fundraising committee are being forced to take a hard line.” She narrowed her eyes. “For the good of the school.”
“Is that right?” Tess whispered. “Well, then…”
Tess grabbed her wallet from her back pocket and counted out $200, slapping it down on the table in front of the woman. “Let me contribute that in Charlie’s name. For the good of the school,” she said.
Pumpkin lady gaped. Blondie looked like she’d been sucking on something sour.
Tony had never felt such an overpowering urge to kiss someone—it was almost scary. Because, God, if she was that fiercely protective of a boy she hardly knew, how would she be with their own kids?
His mind stuttered to a halt.
Their own kids.
Little Tessas with hazel eyes and sassy smiles. Little Tonys with Tess’s reddish hair.
Holy shit.
He wanted that. For the first time in his life, he wanted that.
But only with Tessa.
“Hey, Tess. Tony.” Slay said in greeting as he came up to the ticket counter. “Christ, this thing’s bigger than I expected.”
Tony was still speechless, but Tess had no problem explaining.
“This… lady… here says that Charlie needs to raise more money. He’s a scholarship kid who’s behind in his fundraising goal. For the good of the school.” The look she gave Slay clearly showed her disgust at this idea.
Slay’s sharp brown eyes seemed to comprehend the scene all at once, and his disgust rivaled hers.
“Huh. That right?” Slay grabbed his wallet and removed a wad of cash, handing it to pumpkin lady with a hard expression.
“Oh, but this is way too much…” the woman sputtered in protest.
“Then apply it to his fundraising goal for next year,” Slay said. And without another word, he strolled through the gate and into the fair.
Tony and Tess followed.
“Holy shit, did you see that?” Tess crowed, her annoyance with him forgotten in light of what they’d just seen. “Oh, I am serving that man free drinks and meals for the rest of his natural life! He must’ve given her five hundred dollars!”
“Yeah, that’s… awesome…” Tony agreed, still shell-shocked by his own thoughts.
“You have no idea what it’s like, Tony, to be the kid who always has to wear the castoff clothes, whose mom can’t raise money for the class field trip or to pay the fees for the advanced classes and exams! Oh, it felt so fucking good to be able to do that for him!” Her cheeks were pink, her eyes sparkling with emotion.
Christ, she was ferocious and gorgeous. He’d known he loved her, but now he knew he couldn’t live without her. He needed to tell her and make things right between them. And he needed to not fuck it up.
He cupped her cheek in one hand.
“Tess,” he began hesitantly. “I need to talk to you. I…”
“Tony! Buddy, good to see you,” Paul said, coming up behind him and clapping him on the shoulder. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Can I talk to
you for a second?”
Tess looked away and Tony exhaled sharply, trying to hold onto his patience.
“Paul, man, can you give us a minute?” Tony asked.
“Tess, Alice is working the balloon booth over there,” Paul said, by way of answer. “Charlie’s with her, and he’s dying to go on some of the big kid rides. Maybe you could take him!”
“Uh… okay?” Tess said, looking from Paul to Tony in confusion.
Tony shrugged. He had no idea what Paul’s issue was.
“Great! Just head over, and I’ll return this guy to you in a couple of minutes, honey!” Paul told her.
As soon as she left, Tony turned to Paul. “What the fuck, man?” Tony asked.
“You can kill me later, Tony,” Paul said, dropping his smile. “But you are not gonna fucking believe who is here right now.”
“Who? And why did you have to get rid of Tess?”
“You’ll see,” Paul said grimly.
A moment later, Paul led him to a booth where a group of younger children were lining up to throw hoops over bottles to win prizes. And just beyond them, perched on the edge of a craft table… was Val.
Shit.
Her hair was the same bright blonde it had always been, and just as fashionably styled. Her makeup was flawless, as always, and her outfit no doubt cost more than his monthly rent. And she smiled in an artful, practiced way that set his teeth on edge.
“What are you doing here?” he demanded.
Val stood as he approached and sucked in a breath. She licked her lips nervously.
“I… I had no idea you would be here,” she stammered. “I’m not stalking you or anything. I’m… here with my… with a friend.” She gestured to one side, and Tony noticed a stocky man sporting tattoos, motorcycle boots, and a watchful expression. “I just saw Paul and Heidi, and I thought maybe you’d be here, so I asked.”
She looked at the man again, and he nodded in an encouraging way. She continued, “I wanted to say…”
“I think we’ve said everything we need to say to one another, Val,” Tony told her flatly, crossing his arms over his chest.
She nodded seriously. “I get it. I do. I just wanted to apologize. I said a lot of things to you that weren’t true. I let my insecurities drive me to do a lot of things I’m not proud of. I was hateful to you… and to Tess,” she whispered, her eyes flicking to the watchful man once again.
Tony sucked in a breath. In all the months they’d been together, he couldn’t remember Val uttering more than a cursory apology for anything.
“And I…” She took a deep breath and reached into her purse. “I’ve been carrying around this check for weeks. A month, maybe?” She gave a little laugh. “I’ve been waiting, just in case I had a chance to give it to you.”
“A check?” He blinked. Jesus, had he been sucked into an alternate dimension at some point?
“Yeah, I… I have a really good job now,” she said proudly. “In marketing. It’s challenging, but fun. And it pays well.” She took another deep breath and smiled—a real smile, this time, that lit up her eyes in a way Tony hadn’t known was possible. “Anyway, I know I was really bad about money when we were together. I bought a lot of stupid stuff.” She pursed her lips and shook her head. “But Mike and I are moving in together.” She gave the tattooed man her real smile, and Tony saw the man’s lip twitch. “So I sold all my shit.”
“You sold…”
“Almost all of it, yeah,” she confirmed. “All the designer dresses and shoes and purses, all the jewelry, my little Fiat. It was really crappy in the snow anyway. And it just seemed right that you get half the cut since you bought half the stuff.”
Tony felt his jaw hanging open. He looked from Val to Mike the Mystery Man in concern. Had Val lost her mind? Was she okay? Was the guy forcing her to do this? Not Tony’s problem, and didn’t want to care, damn it, but he still did, to a certain extent.
“No, I haven’t decided to swear off all worldly goods and join a cult,” Val told him with a laugh, as though she could read his mind. “But I’ve definitely made a lot of changes. Seems like you have too,” she said with a smile. “I know what I need now. And what I can’t live without. And I’m happy. I figured out that when you’re happy, you don’t need a lot of stuff.” Mike raised one eyebrow and gave Val a measured look. Val bit her lip to cover her smile. “Or, you don’t need as much stuff, at least,” she amended.
Then she looked at Tony and threw up her hands. “So that’s it!” she said. “That’s all I wanted to say. I wish you well, I’m sorry I was an insecure, jealous shrew, and please take this check!”
She giggled at the expression on Tony’s face. “Mike told me I needed to apologize in person, otherwise I would’ve just mailed it. But I’ve gotta say, it’s worth it just to see your expression.”
Tony stared at the check. Holy shit.
He looked from the check, to Val, to Mike the Mystery Dude. “I seriously don’t know what to say, Val.”
“Nothing to say, Tony,” she told him gently. “I was too insecure to know what I needed, and you were too hesitant to give it to me. But it’s okay, because now we can move on. In a good way. In a healthy way.”
Tony nodded. “I hope… I’m glad… I want you to be happy,” he told her.
“Same goes, Tony. Will you tell Tess what I said?”
Tony nodded slowly. Maybe. Eventually. After he’d processed this surreal experience.
Val smiled. Then she stepped forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. Tony’s hands instinctively reached out and gripped her by the shoulders.
“Take care of yourself,” he told her.
Then he and Mike exchanged nods… and Val was gone from his life. Forever.
And damn, but he felt freer somehow.
“What the fuck was that?” Paul marveled.
“Who the fuck was that?” Tony joked. “It looked a lot like Val, but I’m not convinced. What do you know about alien abduction?”
“I’m not positive, but I think I’ve seen that guy before,” Paul said, and Tony caught a thread of amusement in his voice. “No wonder Val finally got her shit straightened out.”
Tony’s eyes widened as he stared at Paul. “Tell me you don’t know him from The Club.”
Paul snickered. “No, but we do have friends in common. I think his name’s Mike Federico. He’s not a classic dom, keeps to himself. Haven’t seen him around for a while. But, yeah.”
Tony shook his head. None of his business. He couldn’t process that information, and he didn’t want to.
He needed to get back to Tess and tell her everything that had happened, everything that he felt. He needed to kiss her. He needed to make things right between them again.
But he had one stop to make first.
“Let’s head back to the ticket counter,” he told Paul, glancing down at the check in his hands. “See if we can’t pay Charlie Cavanaugh’s fundraising requirement for the rest of his fucking life.” On behalf of Tess and Nora and all the other kids who couldn’t.
Chapter Nine
Tess almost caved. After she saw Tony with Slay and Paul, and way those guys handed over money to fund Charlie’s fundraiser, it made her cry. She had to excuse herself and ran to the ladies’ room inside the school, wiping her tears and doing the deep breathing and quick pacing she’d learned so that she wouldn’t lose her shit in public. Smoothing her shaking hands over her jeans, she felt the bumps of scars on her thighs. Her fingers curled into fists, the nails digging into her flesh so hard it made her wince.
The temptation to hurt herself had never been stronger.
She’d never avoided the temptation so long.
Between the stress about Nora, and the worries she had with Tony, and now going to bat for Charlie, which dredged up the memory of every single school fundraiser she’d struggled through as a child, she was a freaking basket case. What she really needed was a good spanking, and not a handful of swats on her ass when she was bent over in be
d seconds before he took her, but an honest-to-god session that left her helpless, sore, and flying as high as a kite.
But the only guy she would ever submit to like that was out there doing who knew what with his supposedly-ex-girlfriend. Could she even trust him?
First, text messages on his phone left right there, plain as day, for anyone to see when he threw his phone beside the bed. Val was messaging him again? And okay, so maybe Val was just a nutcase who didn’t know to leave well enough alone. He couldn’t tell her? But then she’d overheard the tail end of his conversation at Matteo’s house yesterday. Don’t tell Tess. You only keep secrets about Val. Tess won’t find out. And it confirmed her suspicions. He had been in touch with Val. But then to have the nerve to meet up with Val? And kiss her? Tessa braced herself on the vanity in the bathroom and stared at her reflection.
You haven’t gotten this far by being a pushover, or a bitch, Tessa Damon, she told herself. You’ve been honest, and worked your ass off, and built solid friendships. And that isn’t going to change now.
Submissive though she was, she did not put up with shit. Just because she liked to submit didn’t mean she could be walked over, or taken for granted.
She and Tony needed to have a talk.
When she joined him and Paul at the cotton candy stand, Tony twirled off a piece of candy onto his finger and tried to feed it to her. Closing her lips tightly, she turned away.
“Ohh no, thanks,” she said. “Way too sticky and sweet. You ready to go soon?”
Tony’s jaw clenched as he shoved the rest of the candy into his mouth. He raised an eyebrow at her.
Paul looked from one to the other, his eyes flicking over them as if probing, but then he shook his head. “Gotta go,” he said. “Oh, Tony, we’ll talk more about the plans, right?”
Tony frowned at Paul. “Yeah, later,” he said. “Not now.”
What the hell? What plans?
Paul nodded and left. Tony inhaled, turning to Tess, but she was already done. Already fed up.
“More secrets, Tony? Huh? More stuff to hide from me?”
He frowned, his eyes darkening. “Huh? What the hell are you talking about?”
