Meg at Sixteen

by Susan Beth Pfeffer

  “I understand people trying to drag you down to their level,” Nick replied. “I understand how hard it is to resist that.”

  Meg wasn’t sure that was just it, but with Clark there, she didn’t want to compare and contrast. “No matter what they did for me, I grew unhappier,” she said. “That’s all. It was as hard for them as it was for me. Uncle Marcus isn’t used to failure. And I was his niece, his flesh and blood. He loved my father and he wanted me to be loud and happy, and I was quiet and sad.”

  “If you don’t tell him, I will,” Clark said.

  “One night I tried to kill myself,” Meg said. “All I wanted was to be dead. At least when you’re dead, you can be quiet and nobody minds. Uncle Marcus has a house in Newport, that’s where they summer, and I got up very late at night, and put on my bathing suit and went swimming. It’s a big ocean. I figured there was plenty of water to swallow me up.”

  “Did you change your mind?” Nick asked.

  “I got rescued,” Meg said. “There was a couple on the beach and they saw me and swam out and rescued me. I was too tired to fight, too helpless. Afterward, they kept me in bed for a few days, and all kinds of doctors checked me over, and then Uncle Marcus decided I was his first defeat, and I went to live with Aunt Grace.”

  “You fool,” Nick said. “Didn’t you know I’d come?”

  “Did you know about me?” Meg asked.

  Nick took Meg by the hand and embraced her. Meg felt the warmth of his body against hers, and the past five years held no more pain.

  “Very pretty,” Clark said. “But you can see now she’s damaged goods. Why don’t you try your luck again with Isabelle Sinclair. Bag boys can’t have half your charm.”

  “They have twice yours,” Nick said. “Daisy, there’s so much we need to talk about. There’s so much I want to do for you.”

  “You’ve done it already,” Meg replied. “You’ve loved me.”

  “Wait a second,” Clark said. “Lots of people love you, Meg. They may not call you Daisy but they love you. And they know you, too, and have the same values you have. The only thing he values is a dollar bill.”

  Nick turned to face Clark. “Who are you, anyway?” he asked. “You keep showing up, like a recurring nightmare.”

  “I am a nightmare,” Clark said. “I’m your conscience, Sebastian, if that’s what your name really is. I’m also Meg’s protector, and don’t you forget it.”

  “It’s Clark something, isn’t it,” Nick said.

  Meg laughed. “His name is Clark Bradford,” she said. “And he’s a friend of mine.” She paused for a moment. “He really is,” she said.

  Nick looked Clark over. “I didn’t realize he was someone you cared about,” he said. “I’m sorry, Clark, if I’ve offended you in any way.” He stuck his hand out for Clark to shake.

  Clark stared at Nick and moved away from him. “You’ve offended me in every conceivable way,” he declared. “I’d sooner die than shake your hand.”

  “Fair enough,” Nick said, putting his hand down. “But if you change your mind, let me know. I want to like the people Daisy likes. I never want there to be any conflict between us.”

  “I’ll like your friends too,” Meg said.

  “I don’t have friends,” Nick said.

  “That I can believe,” Clark said. “That’s probably the first honest thing he’s ever told you.”

  “Go,” Meg said to Clark. “I don’t know what you think you’re accomplishing here, but all you’re doing is making me angry. Go home and play with your train set.”

  “I haven’t played with my train set in three years!” Clark said. “And I’m not leaving you alone with Mr. Friendless over here. You may think you’re safe, but I know you’re not, and I won’t leave the two of you alone.”

  “You’re not my chaperon, Clark,” Meg said.

  “I’m your guardian angel,” Clark replied. “You might as well go, Sebastian. I’m sticking with Meg like glue.”

  “He loves you,” Nick said. “I’m glad. He can watch out for you if something happens to me.”

  “Something’s going to happen if you don’t get out of here,” Clark said.

  Meg held Nick’s hand. “There’s so much more,” she said.

  “We have time,” Nick replied. “Let me walk you back to your aunt’s house.”

  “I’ll take her back,” Clark said. “Why don’t you leave now, and go fortune hunting someplace else. Long Island is good this time of year. Lots of fair game there.”

  “Are you coming with us?” Nick asked, putting his arm around Meg. She was still surprised at how comfortable she felt there, how right. She wondered if she’d ever get used to it, and almost hoped she wouldn’t.

  “Step by step,” Clark said, and he walked by Meg’s side the entire distance. Meg pretended not to notice him, and she honestly felt that Nick didn’t. Clark was just there, like the clouds and the waves. When he chattered, he was just a blue jay.

  “Miss Winslow would like to see you,” Delman announced as they opened the front door. “Mr. Sebastian, that is.”

  “I’m going with you,” Meg declared, and Clark followed them into the morning room.

  “I see you brought my niece back safely,” Aunt Grace said.

  “I saw to that,” Clark said. “I kept an eye on him the entire time.”

  “Thank you, Clark,” Grace said. “Mr. Sebastian, in your absence, I called Caroline Sinclair and spoke to her about you.”

  “And she told you I was no longer staying with them,” Nick said.

  “She told me that, and more,” Grace replied. “She said that while it was true you had met Robert at Princeton, the two of you were not good friends, and Robert had never met any of your family during the year of your acquaintanceship.”

  “I never claimed he had,” Nick said. “I like Robert, he likes me, he knew I was at loose ends for the summer, so he invited me to stay with his family. His parents knew about the invitation. It was originally Mrs. Sinclair’s idea. We’d met when the Sinclairs came to visit Robert at school. It didn’t seem to bother her then that Robert had never met any of my family. Given that I don’t have any family, it would have been hard for him to meet them.”

  “Are you through?” Aunt Grace asked.

  “The question is, are you?” Nick replied.

  “Do you want me to throw him out for you?” Clark asked.

  Aunt Grace gave Clark the kind of look that shriveled Meg for weeks. Clark didn’t seem to hold up to it much better.

  “All I know about you is what you told me this morning,” Aunt Grace declared. “You started off with lies, and undoubtedly, you continued and finished with lies as well.”

  “I didn’t lie about the Sinclairs,” Nick said. “I said that they had invited me to spend the summer there, which was true. I never said I was still staying with them. That would have been untrue.”

  “You led me to believe you were still staying with them,” Aunt Grace said.

  “You chose to believe it,” Nick said. “Just as you choose to believe I mean to hurt your niece in some way. I’m not responsible for your beliefs, Miss Winslow, any more than you’re responsible for mine.”

  “I am responsible for my niece, though,” Grace said. “And that responsibility includes protecting her from the likes of you.”

  “But you don’t know me,” Nick said. “You know nothing about me except what I’ve told you, and possibly what Mrs. Sinclair said.”

  “Exactly,” Aunt Grace declared. “I know nothing about you, and frankly, I’d be much happier if I could keep it that way. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn you’d be happier as well. Shall we strike a bargain, then? You leave Eastgate, forget all about Margaret, and in return, I’ll forget this entire incident, and make no effort to investigate you and your undoubtedly unsavory past.”

  “No deal,” Nick said. “No bargain. I couldn’t forget Daisy even if I wanted to.”

  “Very well,” Aunt Grace said. “Your pa
st will be an open book to me before I’ll allow you to see my niece again.”

  “That’s not fair, Aunt Grace!” Meg said, and she realized that for once Aunt Grace couldn’t accuse her of mumbling. “You can’t dictate people’s lives like that.”

  “I have no interest in dictating Mr. Sebastian’s life,” Grace replied. “And I have every right to control yours, Margaret. You are my ward, and you will remain my ward for the next five years. It was your choice that you moved here. Before then, Marcus was your guardian, and undoubtedly you could have had much more freedom, many fewer restrictions. I don’t doubt that Marcus would allow you to see any sort of trash that washes ashore. But you made it obvious to all of us that you were dissatisfied with Marcus, and you moved in with me. Having done that, you must abide by the rules I establish.”

  “Fine,” Meg said. “I’ll move in with Uncle Marcus instead. He won’t mind. I’ve changed since then. I’ll fit in this time, and you won’t ever have to bother about me again.”

  “It’s too late for that,” Grace said. “Marcus and I do not exist merely for your convenience, Margaret. Your father was indulged and spoiled, and you have had a life of indulgence as well, and I can see now it has spoiled you too. You give no thought to how you have disrupted the lives of others. All you care about are your own petty, selfish needs.”

  “Stop it,” Nick said. “I won’t have you talking that way to her.”

  “You have no say in the matter,” Grace replied. “Margaret, go to your room, and stay there thinking about your selfish, ungrateful attitude. I suggest you leave, Mr. Sebastian, before I am forced to call the police once again. Clark, thank you very much for protecting my niece. I’m not sure she deserves it, but I am in your debt.”

  Nobody moved.

  “I thought I had made myself clear,” Grace said. “Margaret, go upstairs immediately.”

  “I’ll run away,” she said.

  “Daisy, no,” Nick said.

  “I will,” Meg said. “I’ll run away and disappear and then you won’t ever have to deal with me and my ingratitude again. Isn’t that what you want, Aunt Grace? For me to disappear?”

  “I want you to behave like a young lady of your social standing,” Aunt Grace replied. “Which does not involve running away, as you so dramatically put it.”

  “Can’t you see you’re hurting her?” Nick asked. “Doesn’t it bother you? I don’t care what you say or do to me, but Daisy deserves so much better. How can you not love her?”

  “Love is not at issue here,” Aunt Grace said. “Ingratitude is, and irresponsibility. Having heard that sad story of yours this morning, I should think that you would know the gratitude Margaret should feel for me. I took her in when no one else would have her.”

  “You’re the one who should be grateful,” Nick said. “Daisy owes you nothing.”

  “She owes me the roof over her head,” Grace replied. “She owes me her schooling, her clothes, her tennis and riding lessons. She owes me respect.”

  Nick shook his head. “I’d rather have my past than hers,” he said. “Daisy, I swear to you, I’ll get you away from this as soon as I can. Whatever I have to give up for it, I will.”

  “I know,” Meg said.

  “Clark, you offered to throw this man out bodily,” Aunt Grace said. “I find I must take you up on that offer.”

  “All right, Miss Winslow,” Clark said, but Nick laughed.

  “I’ll go on my own,” he said. “I wouldn’t want Clark to sully his hands. Daisy, do what she tells you, but don’t let it bother you. She doesn’t matter, not now, not in our future.”

  “Mr. Sebastian!” Aunt Grace shouted.

  Nick smiled. “I’ll be in touch,” he said. “Good day, everyone.” He nodded his farewells politely, and left the house as though he’d been a welcomed guest.

  “You are never to see that man again, Margaret,” Aunt Grace declared.

  Meg laughed. She sounded like Nick.

  “Go to your room at once, Margaret,” Aunt Grace said. “And do not expect to be allowed out anytime today.”

  “Fine,” Meg said. She expected to burst into tears, or at least to feel that awful quivering terror that she always felt when Aunt Grace turned her wrath upon her, but those feelings were gone. She had Nick now, and whether he was by her side or not, he enveloped her with his love. He protected her.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Meg Sebastian

  Daisy Sebastian

  Margaret Sebastian

  Margaret Winslow Sebastian

  Margaret Louise Winslow Sebastian

  Meg Keefer

  Even before Meg heard the footsteps approaching her room, she tore up the list. Not only would Aunt Grace kill her for pairing her name next to Nick’s in so many splendid combinations, but Nick, she knew, would be devastated if he saw her name next to Keefer. She wondered if he would love her any the less when he found out her middle name was Louise. But if she could live with George, he could live with Louise. It was Keefer that was the trouble spot.

  Meg wished she had matches in her room to burn the names with, but none were allowed her, so she tore the paper into a hundred tiny pieces and scattered them in her wastepaper basket. The servants would never bother to piece the shreds together. She didn’t doubt they were under instructions to go through her garbage, but not even Aunt Grace would expect them to paste together such tiny pieces. Even so, she wished she had matches.

  It had been two days since she’d seen Nick, two days, four hours, and twelve minutes. She was sure he was counting the days and hours as well, but what else had he done during that time? Was he still at the inn, or had he moved to a boardinghouse? Maybe he’d made up with the Sinclairs, given them flowers and convincing speeches, as he’d given Aunt Grace. Meg knew Caroline Sinclair well enough to know she’d provide little resistance to an attack of charm.

  Or had Nick left Eastgate altogether, gone back to Princeton to wait out the summer, or moved on to some other summer resort or returned to wherever he was from, gone back to being George Keefer, given up on Meg, on all his dreams? The uncertainty hurt.

  She heard the footsteps then, checked the wastepaper basket to make sure no offending names were visible, and waited for the sound of the key in the lock that now signified social contact for her. With the arrival of the locksmith two days earlier, Meg had lost not only her freedom, but the courtesy of having her door knocked on before entry. All the year-rounders must know that she was being kept locked in her bedroom. It had to be the talk of Eastgate. Were they amused or appalled or did they just regard it as another example of the eccentricities of the rich? Meg wasn’t even sure how she felt about it.

  Aunt Grace opened the door and stared in at Meg, presumably to confirm that she hadn’t escaped. “Clark is here to see you,” she declared, and sure enough, she half pushed Clark into Meg’s bedroom. “The door will be kept open for the duration of his visit.”

  “Yes, Aunt Grace,” Meg said. It felt funny to speak, even those few words.

  “Very well,” Aunt Grace said, although Meg knew she didn’t think any of this was very well at all. Clark certainly didn’t. He appeared terrified. Meg tried not to smile at either of them.

  “She has you locked in?” Clark said, as soon as they heard Grace’s lumbering footsteps going down the hallway.

  Meg nodded. “It’s mostly symbolic,” she said. “There are no bars on the windows. If I need to escape, I can.”

  Clark looked out the windows. “You’re on the second floor,” he pointed out. “What would you do, jump?”

  “I haven’t worked out the details,” Meg replied. “I’m not going to be locked in here forever, Clark. Aunt Grace will come to her senses sooner or later. Why are you here? Did she send for you?”

  Clark shook his head. “This was my idea,” he said. “Probably a dumb one, too. Mostly I wanted to check up on you. I’ve been worried. Everyone’s been asking where you are. You caused quite a stir at your party, vanishing like that
, and then the scene when Nick brought you back, and nobody’s seen you since, so everyone’s curious.”

  It hadn’t occurred to Meg to think about societal response to her situation. The year-rounders had crossed her mind, but not all the people she’d grown up with. She knew that meant she’d crossed a line, one so natural that she hadn’t even been aware of it.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” Clark asked.

  “I’m fine,” Meg said. “I’m getting my three meals a day. I just have to eat them in here.”

  “You must be bored,” Clark said.

  “I think about Nicky,” Meg replied.

  Clark rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what’s worse,” he said. “The way he calls you Daisy or the way you call him Nicky.”

  Meg was afraid if she laughed Aunt Grace would hear her, so she managed to keep it to a soft giggle. Clark wasn’t as concerned, so he laughed outright.

  “This is a hell of a situation you’ve gotten yourself into,” Clark said. “Do you have any idea when Grace is going to spring you?”

  Meg looked out the window to the ocean. She liked the way it kept its steady rhythm of waves, regardless of what was happening to her. “She said at first I’d have to stay in my room until I was willing to apologize. Which I’m not, and never will be. So I figure that means forever, or until I turn twenty-one.”

  “That’s crazy,” Clark said. “She’ll have to let you go to school.”

  “She’ll let me out before then,” Meg declared. “If people are talking, she isn’t going to keep me here all summer. She’ll probably free me tomorrow. Your coming here is a good sign.”

  “That’s me all right,” Clark said. “Good-Sign Bradford.”

  “Clark, I’m sorry,” Meg said. “I really would like to love you.”

  Clark almost smiled.

  “So,” Meg said. “Has anything interesting happened lately? How’re Isabelle and her bag boy?”

  “They’re handling things a lot better than you are,” Clark replied. “At least she isn’t being held prisoner in her home.”