I Hate Goodbye (The Kihanna Saga)

by Amare, Mercy

“You just reminded me that I can’t let go of my old self. I love filming, editing, and photography, so I should keep doing it. I am going to start this weekend. My family and I are going on a cruise to Hawaii, so I figured what better place to film than paradise?”

  “Wow, Hawaii… and I was excited about visiting my grandparents in Colorado.”

  Crap. I forgot that Kasbian isn’t like the rest of the kids here. His dad is a teacher, and I know he doesn’t have a lot of money. Now I feel like shit. “Colorado is really pretty,” I say.

  “And cold,” he says. “But, at least I will have a video to look forward to.”

  We high five.

  Oddly enough, even though I am living a horror movie, I am looking forward to filming. And the best part of the whole trip is my stalker won’t be coming with us. It’ll be amazing! Two whole weeks — stalker free.

  12:41 PM

  Let’s play a game.

  Lunch feels weird without Courtney. I know that she is a bit crazy at times, but I love that about her. I can’t help but wonder how she will be after they “fix” her. Will she still be the same fun-loving girl that I know and love? Or will she be different?

  Victoria goes on and on about her date with Toby. She says he was a complete gentleman, which I find hard to believe. She said he didn’t try to put the moves on her, and she had a great time. I’ll be interested to see if there is a second date.

  When I leave the lunchroom, Gabe goes with me to my locker. He says that he wants to go with me just in case my stalker decides to leave me a present behind. I’m hoping that there is no note today. I need there to not be one.

  “Are you excited about leaving Saturday?” Gabe asks me as we walk toward my locker. I think he’s trying to distract me, which I am thankful for.

  “Definitely,” I answer. “There will be an ocean between me and my stalker. Maybe I will just stay in Hawaii, and never come back.”

  “Not to burst your bubble or anything, but I’m pretty sure all your stalker would have to do is hop on a plane,” he says. “I’m just hoping that he doesn’t have tickets to the same cruise as us.”

  I hadn’t thought about that. Why haven’t I? It’s completely logical, though I guess I wanted to believe for one minute the trip would be safe. Who knows, maybe it will be. I mean, I haven’t even gotten a note in three days. Maybe he or she has moved on to torture somebody else.

  “You know, my dad doesn’t seem like a take a cruise kind of guy,” I tell Gabe. “He seems like a buy a really big boat and drive myself kind of guy.”

  “Your dad and my dad have known each other for a long time. When I was four, they tried to start a company together, but it failed before they could even get started. That’s when your dad started working on Staying Connected, and my dad started working as a filing clerk,” Gabe says. “Somehow they managed to stay friends through all this. The first year that your dad turned a profit, he took my dad, my mom, and me on a cruise with him to Hawaii for Christmas. Well, that next year my dad got a big promotion in his company and got a huge raise, so he decided to repay the favor. Since then it’s been a tradition. Sometimes it’s not about how much money you have. It’s about memories. I guess they do this now to remember where they came from.”

  “I think it’s awesome that your dad worked his way up from the bottom,” I tell him. “That’s quite admirable.”

  “Your dad built a multi-billion dollar company from the ground up,” he says. “That takes amazing dedication.”

  We stop in front of my locker. “I think we both have great dads. We’re lucky.”

  I take a deep breath before opening my locker. I sigh of relief when I see no note, and I grab my book for my next class. When I do, I see a piece of paper stuck between the two books. It falls to the floor, and Gabriel grabs it. He holds it up so we can both look at it.

  I’m bored. Let’s play a game. In your bedroom you will find a map. Follow the directions at midnight tonight. At the end, there will be a prize.

  “Oh my God. How does this person keep getting into my bedroom?” I ask Gabe.

  “I don’t know, but I am going to put a stop to it,” he says, slamming my locker door. “We are also putting a lock on here. I’m tired of this sick fucker messing with you.”

  “I’ve got to show this to Toby,” I tell him, walking back toward the lunchroom.

  “Do you really want him to know? What if he decides to follow the map?”

  I don’t stop walking. “Either way, I’m following the map.”

  Gabe grabs my shoulder and pulls me to a stop. “No you’re not.”

  “Yes, I am.” I turn and continue walking. He runs up behind me.

  “Are you crazy? If you follow that map you’re going to get yourself killed,” Gabe says. “I can’t let you do this.”

  I stop in front of the doors. “Either you can come with me, or you can stay behind, it’s up to you. But you are not going to stop me from going.” I don’t wait for his response. I just push open the doors and walk over to Toby’s table. When Ty sees me, he comes to join us.

  Toby stands up. “I’ll see you guys later,” he tells his friends.

  We all go into the hallway where Gabriel is standing with his arms over his chest. I show the two of them the note, and ignore Gabe’s sulking.

  “This person went into your room?” Toby asks.

  “It wasn’t the first time,” I tell him, remembering the note I got after the Halloween dance. “And I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

  “How is this person getting into your house unnoticed?” Ty asks. “I mean, you have so many people working at your house. There is no way this person could just sneak in there.”

  “Ty is right,” Gabe says. “It has to be somebody you know well. Who comes to your house that also has access to the school?”

  “The three of you,” I answer. “And Courtney, Ariana, and Victoria. That’s it as far as people I invite over, but I think you’re wrong. This person is really sneaky. I bet getting in and out of my house isn’t a problem.”

  “I think we should install security cameras in your room,” Gabe says. “I want to catch whoever this is. And if we catch them on video, we will have hard evidence to turn into the police.”

  “I agree,” Toby and Ty both say.

  “Whoa, whoa,” I say, holding up both my hands. “My bedroom is private. That’s where I sleep and get dressed… I don’t want a video camera in there.”

  “We won’t watch it,” Gabe says. “Only when there is a note left in there would we review it.”

  I roll my eyes. “Puh-lease, Gabriel. I know you. You’ll probably be watching me undress from your home computer. You’re like a super hacker or something. No way am I letting you install security cameras in my room. There has to be another way.”

  “Not like there won’t be anything I haven’t seen, but I promise not to watch you,” he says.

  Ty laughs. “It’s hard to trust somebody who has already lied to you multiple times.”

  Gabe stands up straighter, and crosses his arms over his chest. The way he’s flexing his jaw, I can tell he’s trying really hard not to punch Ty right now. “I would shut up if I were you.”

  “Who says that you aren’t her stalker?” Ty asks. “It would make sense. You’re always over there. How easy would it be for you to put something in her room?”

  “Why would I stalk her? I have her. You on the other hand lost her.”

  I step between them before a fight breaks out. “Seriously, knock it off. It’s not either of you, I know that. This started before I dated either one of you, and I got the notes while I dated Ty too. So let’s stop fighting each other, and start trying to work together. I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of tired of looking over my shoulder all the time.”

  “Fine,” Gabe says.

  “We will all go tonight, and we will all figure this out,” I tell them.

  “Agreed,” they all say.

  The bell rings, and the hallways star
ts filling up. We all turn our separate ways. I can’t help but wonder what we will find tonight. Whatever it is, I just hope it doesn’t kill me.

  12:00 AM

  Here lies Kihanna Evers.

  Ty, Toby, Gabriel, and I all get into one of my dad’s SUVs. Toby drives, and I sit in the front. I’m pretty sure it’s dangerous to leave Ty and Gabriel in the back seat together, but they were once best friends. Maybe somehow they can get back to that point. Plus, if I sat in the back with Gabe he would just try to make out with me to prove a point to Ty and I don’t want that. Ty is my friend too, and I will respect our friendship, even though he didn’t respect me. Also, I am the only one who can read a map and I have to tell Toby where to turn.

  “It’s really sad that I am the only one out of us that can read a map,” I tell them.

  “Yeah, well if this psycho would’ve given us an address we could’ve used a GPS,” Ty says. “Who uses a map anymore?”

  “Apparently my stalker does.”

  “What do you think we will find?” Toby asks.

  “Well, I’m pretty sure we won’t find unicorns and kitty cats,” I answer. The sarcasm is heavy in my voice.

  “Maybe the stalker is going to reveal who they are,” Ty says.

  “Doubtful. When we figure out who this person is, they will be going to prison. I don’t think they want us to know.”

  “I just don’t understand why the person is going after you,” he continues. “You’re so nice to everybody. You even talk to the scholarship nerds. The only person that didn’t like you was Jacqueline Hoff, and she’s dead. Who else could it be?”

  That is the question I would love to know the answer to. “I wish I knew.”

  I tell Toby all the turns to take. After riding in almost complete silence for thirty minutes, we make our last turn onto a gravel road. At the end of this road, there will be something waiting for me. For some reason, this moment feels like the beginning of an end. Maybe death is waiting for me. Or maybe it’s freedom.

  You can literally feel the tension in the air. My heart beats hard against my chest, and all I can hear is the fast rhythm of my heart. For a moment I wonder if everybody else can hear it too, but I know they can’t. Nobody can hear it but me.

  The gravel road comes to an end at a graveyard, and Toby puts the car in park. Nobody says anything, and nobody gets out of the car. I think we’re all stunned, because this isn’t what we expected. I open the map to see if maybe we missed a turn, but we didn’t.

  I open my door, and ignore the protests from Toby, Gabe, and Ty. They follow me. They are saying something, but I don’t know what. For the moment, I don’t care. I just want to know why my stalker sent me here.

  I walk down the middle of the path between graves. The cemetery is very old. Nobody has been buried here in at least fifty years. I keep walking through the rows, and think about all the bodies that are here. They were all once alive. I wonder what kind of life they lived and if they were happy. I also wonder if they’re happy now. Maybe they’re in heaven. That’s what I like to think… That they’re up there with my mom, drinking hot chocolate and living out eternity in paradise. It gives me hope, because I want to see my mom again someday.

  Suddenly, I come to a stop. There is a new headstone, and there is a hole in the ground, waiting for a body to be buried.

  I read the headstone.

  Here lies Kihanna Evers. May the bitch rot in hell.

  “Oh my God.”

  I feel an arm go around me, and I jump. Once I realize it’s Gabe, I lean my head on his shoulder and try not to scream.

  “Who would do something so cruel?” I ask.

  Nobody has a response. We all just stand there in shock, staring at the headstone. The message is clear. My stalker is just playing with me. Ultimately, this is where I will end up. I won’t survive this.

  “I am going to figure out who did this, and when I do I am going to kill them,” Gabe says. I pull away from him, and see just how angry he is. His whole body is tense.

  “I’m with you on that one,” Toby says. “Let’s just get the hell out of here. I can’t stand here looking at that any longer.”

  I feel a chill go through my spine, and suddenly I want nothing more than to get far away from this place. As we walk back to the car, Gabe keeps his arms firmly around my waist and Toby stands on the other side of me. Ty walks closely behind me, and we are all on very high alert. I get in the backseat with Gabe, and we leave. Toby drives fast as we leave, but it’s not fast enough. I breathe a sigh of relief once we get back on the interstate.

  I want to never think of this night again as long as I live.

  Which obviously won’t be that long.

  Tuesday, December 14

  7:32 AM

  Fear.

  I didn’t sleep last night — at all. I was too busy tossing and turning, and looking under my bed and in my closet.

  Gabe offered to stay the night, and I said I would be fine. I regretted it about two minutes after he left. So, after checking my closet for the fifth time, I gave up and went to Toby’s room. Then I felt guilty for being in there, because what if my stalker came for me and Toby tried to save me and instead he got killed? I couldn’t handle it if anything happened to him because of me. So after Toby went to sleep, I went back to my room. I turned all the lights on, even the light in my closet, and I held onto my phone like it was saving my life. I’m not sure what good my phone would do if I was attacked, but it gave me peace of mind.

  Gabriel shows up early and comes to my room. I’m still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep.

  “You look like shit,” he says, climbing onto the bed beside me.

  He doesn’t look so good either. He has bags under his eyes, and I can tell he didn’t get much sleep either.

  “I look better than I feel.” I look back up at the ceiling.

  “What if we stay home from school today? I’ll get you a sleeping pill, and we will sleep the day away.”

  “Haven’t you already missed enough school?” I ask.

  “Do you know how much tuition is at our school?”

  I shake my head.

  “Well, let’s just say I could miss a month of school and it wouldn’t matter. You and I are staying here, and you’re going to get some sleep,” he says.

  I start to protest, but why? I don’t want to leave this bed. I’m exhausted, and the thought of going to school makes me physically ill. My stalker will be at school, and I just don’t want to be near them right now.

  “Okay,” I tell him. “But do you think we could install those cameras tonight? I know I said I didn’t want them, but I changed my mind.”

  Gabriel nods. “I’ll do that for you.”

  He runs out of my room, and a few minutes later Veronica comes back with a bottle of NyQuil.

  “Gabriel said you were sick,” she says, handing me a couple of pills and a bottle of water. “You look pretty rough.”

  I take the pills and lie back down.

  “If you need anything, Reynaldo will be around.”

  “Who is Reynaldo?” I ask.

  “He’s our new butler,” she answers.

  Oh right. Because our old butler died — which was my fault.

  Okay, I know it wasn’t my fault, but it sure feels like it. I know that I am the victim, and I hate being the victim. I also hate that I have to depend on other people to help me. I feel weak, but the truth is I couldn’t do this alone. I don’t think anybody could.

  “I’ll be with Libby today. We are working on starting a new charity,” she says. “If you need me, call me and I’ll be right home.”

  “Thanks.”

  Veronica leaves the room, and a few minutes later Gabe comes back in. He climbs into the bed beside me, and I rest my head on his chest. He runs his hands through my hair, and within a few minutes I drift off to sleep.

  4:51 PM

  You will die.

  When I wake, Gabe is sitting
on the side of my bed holding a piece of paper in his hands. He looks really, really pissed. I look at my nightstand and see a dozen black roses sitting there.

  Oh my God. My stalker returned.

  I grab the note from Gabe’s hand and read it.

  When the last petal falls, you will die.

  I let out a gasp and let the note fall from my hand. I don’t want to touch the note anymore. In fact, I don’t want to touch my bed anymore. The creeper was in here while Gabe and I were asleep. I don’t even feel safe in my own home anymore.

  “I’m going to go buy some security cameras now,” Gabe says. “Go hang out with Toby until I get back. I really don’t feel comfortable leaving you here alone.”

  “We will just go with you,” I tell him. “I just… need to get out of this house for a little bit.”

  Gabe nods his head. He understands. This room suddenly feels claustrophobic and I am more than ready to get out of here.

  I grab a quick shower, and by the time I’m ready, both Toby and Gabe are waiting for me. As we head outside, we are met by Ty.

  “Hey, how are you doing?” he asks me.

  Gabe stiffens beside me. I can tell that he doesn’t like Ty talking to me, but he is in it with us. He knows the truth, and part of me is glad. I like being Ty’s friend. We dated for three months, and though I don’t have any romantic feelings for him, there is still that connection. We are friends, and we probably always will be.

  “I am okay,” I answer, but it’s a complete lie. I tell Ty about the roses in my room, and that we are going to get security cameras for my room.

  “You finally caved on the cameras?” he asks as we get into Toby’s small car. I get in the back with Gabriel and Ty sits up front with Toby.

  “I didn’t think I would, but this…” I search for a word. Person doesn’t seem right. “…pervert came into my room again. This time I was actually there. He or she could have killed me right then. I just… I don’t feel safe in my own house. Maybe if we put up the cameras we can catch them.”