“Thanks?” I blink a few times, not sure what else to say. I scrub a hand down my face. “Why are you here, Noah?”
“Because I want to talk to you and I'm not as easy to deter as Liam is. Though I have to give you credit, you did a nice job at changing the subject down there and throwing me off my game. Mad props to you.” He holds out his fist and I bump it. Noah and I have the strangest relationship ever but I love it.
“What’s so important to talk about that you needed to break into my room?”
“You gotta give him a shot, Randy. He loves you.”
“Noah... You don’t push away the people you love.”
“But aren’t you doing exactly that?”
“Don’t use my logic against me, Noah! I don’t need that right now! I wanna be mad, I wanna hate him.”
“He doesn’t hate you. He was angry and took it out on you, he shouldn’t have done that but you shouldn’t continue to push him away. It’s not fair to either of you... You’re miserable, Randy, so is he. Why don’t you put both of you out of your misery and forgive him?”
“I just... I can't. Why can't everyone be happy with that?”
“Because you love him.”
“But I wanna hate him! I wanna hate him so much for hurting me!”
“You’re only hurting yourself more by pushing him away... I hear you crying at night. You try to hide how sad you are but we all see it.”
I glance away. My eyes squeeze shut and I suck in a deep breath. My bottom lip trembles but I refuse to let myself cry.
Arms wrap around me, I'm tugged against Noah’s chest, he rests his chin on my head. I feel so tiny in his arms, he makes me feel protected... Just like Liam makes me feel.
“I miss him.” I whisper.
“Then let him back in, sweetheart.”
“I... I can't trust him anymore.”
“Then let him be a friend, nothing more. Let him prove you can trust him again. I'm not asking you to love him or even date him again, just let him exist around you. Go back to how things were before you started dating.”
“I can try.”
“For what it’s worth, he hates himself for snapping at you and pushing you away.”
I'm not sure how long Noah holds me in his arms, but eventually he tucks me into bed and shuts the door when he leaves.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Noah
I PLOP DOWN ON THE edge of Frankie’s bed. My elbows rest on my knees, I hang my head, running my fingers through my hair.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
“I hate seeing them both in so much pain. They’re so stubborn. If they’d just put their egos aside, they could be happy together again.”
“They’ll figure it out. You need to let them do it themselves.”
“How? How can you sit there and watch them in misery and not want to shake them?”
She chuckles softly, wrapping her arms around me, resting her chin on my shoulder.
“I’ve known Miranda for a long time. I’ve learned to let her figure out her shit on her own because she won't do it any other way. You can't convince that girl to do anything she doesn’t wanna do. Sometimes you just gotta let her be angry for a little bit, she always does the right thing in the end.”
“I get it, I do. She’s hurt and feeling rejected. Liam screwed up but seriously, she’s being way too hard on him. He obviously didn’t mean what he said. He was upset and scared.”
“Don’t judge her for how she reacted. There’s no way to know how you would’ve reacted if you had been in her shoes. You don’t need to solve everyone’s problems; you just need to be there for them. Be an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on, but they don’t always need or want you to solve everything for them. Sometimes you just gotta let them figure out their own shit.”
“Is this what having kids is gonna be like?”
“I think it’s probably exactly what having kids will be like.”
“Fuck. Can we have puppies instead?”
“We can have puppies but I want a few babies too. A little boy with your dimples and beautiful mop of hair.”
“And a little girl with your sass and beautiful eyes.”
I reach around and grab Frankie, dragging her on top of me as I lay on my back.
“I love you, Kiki. I don’t know how I survived for so long without you in my life. I'm never letting go of you.”
“I love you too and I'm not going anywhere.”
“I want them to have what we have; I want them to be happy.”
“Liam’s never giving up on Miranda. I saw it in his eyes tonight. He’s in love with her, he’d never be crazy enough to let her go.”
“What do you think will happen next year?” I say softly.
“I think they’ll either figure out their shit, or they’ll hate each other like they did for the first half of senior year. Either way, we need to be supportive and let them figure it out themselves.”
“What’s gonna happen with us next year?”
She smiles down at me, her hair falling in her eyes. I gently push the strands behind her ear, my fingers trail down her jaw until I cup her cheek. I gently caress her soft skin, I'm so in love with this woman. I can't imagine living without her ever again.
“I think we’re gonna get hitched, maybe work on starting our little family... or at least practice.”
She winks at me, I can't help but laugh, she’s adorable.
“I think I like the sound of that.”
“Good, because the day I say ‘I do’, this body is mine.”
“It’s already yours.”
I yank her down, crashing my lips into hers. I put everything I’ve ever felt into the kiss and then some more. I’ll never love another person the way I love Frankie.
Chapter Thirty
Liam
“HEY, LIAM!” MIRANDA’S perky voice floats through the room.
My brows furrow together, I glance around for someone else named Liam, but don’t find anyone else. Why is she talking to me? She’s been trying to avoid me for weeks.
“Hey...” I say cautiously, dropping into the seat next to her. “Are you ok?”
“Yup! Why wouldn’t I be?... Oh my gosh! Do I not look ok?” Her eyes widen in fear.
“No, you look beautiful. You’re always beautiful.” I say softly.
Her eyes meet mine; a flash of sadness crosses her before it disappears, making me wonder if I imagined it.
“Good! Can't be walking around looking like crap.”
“Is she fishing for compliments again?” Noah laughs, taking the seat across from me and Frankie sits next to him.
“Oh, please! I don’t need to fish for compliments, guys hand them out freely.” She wiggles her eyebrows with a smirk on her plump lips.
Jeez, I miss those lips. I miss her smile and laugh; I miss everything about her.
“I was right, you gotta bruise on your head.” Noah winces.
Miranda’s eyes narrow on him, her resting bitch face taking over.
“How’d you get a bruise on your head?”
I lean forward, grip her chin, tilting her head so I can get a closer look. On her right temple there’s a light bruising and a small bump. I gently run my fingers over it before staring into her beautiful eyes.
“Does it hurt?” My voice is barely a whisper.
“A little. I hit it hard.” She whispers back.
It’s like we’re in our own little world with no one else around. The noise around us disappears, I don’t hear dozens of voices floating through the air, I don’t notice any of the people around us. My sole focus is the beautiful woman in front of me.
“What’d you do?”
“I was taking off my shirt when I walked out of my bathroom, I didn’t know Noah was in my room. When he told me to keep my shirt on, I screamed and lost my balance. I hit it on the floor.”
I place a gentle kiss on her bump, letting my lips linger there. A throat clears, pulling us out of our bubble.
I pull back, letting my fingers trail down her jaw. When I turn my gaze on Noah, I narrow my eyes.
“Why the hell were you in her room?”
“I needed to talk to her and she kept trying to walk away. I'm not deterred easily.” He shrugs.
“I don’t appreciate you trying to catch a peek at her.” I growl.
“Whoa! Who the hell said I was trying to check her out? I told her to keep her shirt on. It’s not like that, she knows that, I know that and Frankie better fucking know that.”
Frankie laughs beside him, before long Miranda joins her.
“Stay out of her room.”
“Oh, will you stop it! He didn’t see anything he wouldn’t see if I were wearing a bikini.” Miranda huffs, folding her arms across her chest.
“Speaking of bikini’s, are you going to the party on Saturday?” Frankie asks.
“Yeah, Levi asked me to go with him. There’s another party Saturday night, we’re going to that one too.”
“Whose house is that one at?”
“Bianca’s.” Miranda scrunches up her nose. They really hate Bianca.
“Ugh, I don’t think I’ll be going to that one.”
“Are you going to Sean’s pool party or Bianca’s party?” Miranda asks me.
I blink in surprise for a second. Did I hit my head or something? Why is she including me so much?
“Uh, I think so, but I wanted to check with Macy first.”
“You’re a really good brother, I hope you know that.”
“No, I'm not. A good brother would’ve gotten help when everything started. I never should have kept her in that house.”
Miranda glances around before she grabs my hand in hers and pulls me out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. She pushes me into a small alcove under the stairs and steps in close.
“Don’t you ever blame yourself for the choices you made. You did what you believed was best at the time. You didn’t know Mrs. Valdo would take care of Macy or that the Vaccaro’s would take you in. She could have been put in a foster home hours away from you. You could’ve been separated for such a long time.”
I cup her cheek, stroking her skin with my thumb. I made so many mistakes since my mom left but my biggest mistake was what I did to Miranda.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but I'm so sorry for pushing you away. You didn’t deserve that. I took all my anger from months of dealing with my dad out on you. You made the right decision, baby. I see that now. There wasn’t another choice.”
Her eyes water but she stares up at the ceiling, blinking a few times to keep the tears at bay. I stumble backwards a few steps when Miranda throws herself into my body, wrapping her arms around my waist.
I hug her back with just as much force. Her arms snake around my neck, holding me as close as she can, just like the first morning she came to pick up Macy and I for school. I’ve missed the feel of her in my arms more than I care to admit.
“I miss you.” She whispers into my neck.
“I miss you too... Do you forgive me for... everything?”
She pulls back enough to meet my gaze, a sad smile appearing on her face.
“I forgive you, but...”
“Please, Mira, give me another chance.”
“I need time, Liam. You hurt me a lot when you pushed me away and I'm not sure I'm at a spot where I can trust you again. We can be friends and go from there.”
My eyes squeeze shut, my chest aches with such an intense pain, I suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I hold her against me tighter, knowing this might be the last embrace like this I get from her. I bury my head in her neck, breathing in her delicious scent.
“I'm not sure I can be just friends with you.” I whisper.
“I can't offer you anything else right now.”
“Will you ever give me a second chance?”
“I... I don’t know. I just need some time.”
She wiggles in my arms until I put her down, but I don’t let go. I'm going to keep her close for as long as she lets me.
“Are you dating Levi?”
“No.”
“Do you want to date him?”
“I don’t really know what I want at the moment, I'm just kinda living and letting things happen.”
“I can't lose you.” I admit.
“You’re not losing me... we’re just changing our roles in each other’s lives.”
“I don’t want to. I want things to go back to how they were before that night. I want you back, I want to be able to hold you and kiss you any time I want to.”
“I know you do... But I... can't do that right now, Liam. Everything changed that night, there’s no going back. Sometimes you just need to live with the consequences of your actions.”
“Please, Mira.” I beg because I don’t know what else to do.
“If you push me to take you back, you’ll lose me forever.” She whispers.
She stands on her tippy toes, places a soft kiss on my cheek, lingering for a moment before she walks away from me.
I run a hand through my hair, frustration filing every cell of my body. I'm losing her and I don’t know how to stop it.
Chapter Thirty-One
Miranda
“HOW’S EVERYTHING BETWEEN you and Liam?”
I narrow my eyes at Levi’s question. Is he seriously trying to figure out if he has a shot? Didn’t we already discuss being friends for right now?
“Whoa, wait. Don’t make that face at me. I'm not trying to make a move, I swear. I'm just trying to be a good friend; I feel like you need one of those right now.”
I let out a long sigh and stare out the window at the passing houses. He’s right, I need a friend now more than ever.
Frankie and Noah are great, but they're too close to Liam to be objective. Levi and Liam played football and now baseball together but they aren’t really friends, just teammates.
“I really could use a good friend right now.” I whisper.
“I can be that for you. I was serious, you’re cool to hang out with. I'm fine being friends if you don’t wanna give us a shot, I get it, you won't hurt me.”
“You’re a great guy, you know that?”
“Maybe you can spread the word among the girls of the school.” He winks with a smirk.
“If they don’t know, they're not worth your time.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I let out a long sigh, trying to find the words to describe how I'm feeling. My heart wants him back but my brain never wants to see him again, I don’t know what to do or how to feel.
“I feel like everyone’s pushing us to get back together and I'm not sure I want to.”
“Have you told them that?”
“Yes.” I groan. “Frankie and Noah want our relationship to go back to being perfect because then it’s less of a stress on them and their relationships with each of us.”
“Maybe they're not pushing you back together to make their lives easier but because they want you to be happy again. Maybe they think you two were happiest when you were together.”
“Liam’s being really pushy too.”
“He realizes what he lost and wants it back. You can’t fault him for trying to fight for what he wants.”
“I don’t know how to handle things with Liam. He hurt me; I understand why he did it but it doesn’t change the fact he hurt me. How do you let someone back in after they destroy your heart?”
“I can't answer that, only you can. I’ve never been in love, never had my heart broken. I guess the question is, is he worth risking another broken heart for? Do you love him enough to give him a second chance?”
“I think I might.” I whisper, staring down at my hands.
“Then you give him a chance. It doesn’t have to be right away. Be friends, get used to being around him again and maybe soon you can trust him enough to give him another chance. Give yourself time to heal, there’s no rush.”
I reach over, taking his hand in
mine and give it a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you for being such a great friend.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiles over at me, warming my heart.
We pull up outside of Sean’s house, the street’s already filling up with cars. Levi finds a spot a few houses down to park. I grab my tote bag out of the backseat and meet Levi at the back of the car. He holds his arm out for me and I grasp his bicep, laughing at his gentlemen like behavior.
“Are you actually gonna go in the pool? Or are you more of a ‘lay on a lounge chair and get guys attention’ type girl?”
“Why can't I be one of those ‘get their attention while I'm in the pool’ type girls?” I wiggle my eyebrows, Levi throws his head back, a rich laugh fills the air.
“You can be whatever you wanna be, sweetheart.”
We head straight to the backyard, throw our things down on a chair and start chatting with a few people. Before long, the backyard is filled with people.
“Hey, you wanna go in the pool with me?” Levi asks.
“Sure. Let me just take off my clothes and put them with our bags.”
Levi comes with me, whipping off his shirt and throwing it on top of his bag. My brows meet my hairline. His body is gorgeous, sculpted lean muscle with tattoos covering his chest.
“You ok?” He asks with a knowing smirk.
“Nope! I didn’t know you were hiding all of that under your shirt.”
He laughs, shaking his head at me. I wiggle out of my shorts, then pull my shirt over my head. I fold them neatly, placing them in my bag. When I glance at Levi, his eyes are scanning ever visible inch of my body. Let’s be real, very little isn't visible in this bikini.
“You ok?” I smirk.
“Nope! I didn’t know you were hiding all of that under your shirt.” He repeats my words back to me causing me to snort with laughter.
He steps closer, placing his hands on my hips. He leans in and places a gentle kiss on my temple.
“You’re gorgeous, Miranda. Any guy would be lucky to have you and if they don’t feel that way, they're not worth your time.”
Never Giving Up (The Never Series Book 2) Page 12
