by Helen Scott
"There's a cab on its way," she said as we burst through the door into the cool night air.
I hadn't realized how overheated I was until I felt fresh air on my face. The night breeze tickled my nose, clearing out the scents of perfume, cologne, sweat, piss, and sex. Lovely though they were. Being able to breathe again helped me calm down even more, as did walking to the end of the block of warehouses.
We clutched each other's arms, making sure neither of us fell, me because I was constantly looking over my shoulder, and Kylie because somehow she'd managed to drink more while we were separated and was now a bit tipsy. When a set of headlights came into view I wanted to run and hide in the shadows, but Kylie just glanced at the glowing screen of her phone and said, "That's our ride."
I pulled her phone to where I could see the screen which just made her giggle and confirmed that it was, in fact, our ride. There was no way Jax could have sent a car for us, right? He wouldn't go that far. Would he? I double checked the license plate as the car came to a stop and though the man in the driver's seat looked like the photo in the app, the happy smiling face that stared out from Kylie's phone was nowhere to be seen. Instead he looked like he'd rather be anywhere else.
Even though I knew this was our ride, I couldn't help feeling that tingle of doubt. This was the only ride out of the area though, so we climbed in. The guy turned in his seat immediately and said, "Do not puke in my car. You need to puke, you punch the seat or something and I'll pull over so fast you won't even have chance to get it on the seats."
"Neither of us are drunk," I snapped.
"Sure thing, lady. Whatever you say. Just hit the seat if you need to puke."
The car pulled away and I felt like I could finally stop looking over my shoulder. As we rolled past the warehouse the party was being held in, I swear I saw a figure standing in the darkness watching. I knew it was probably just the doorman, but my heart beat hard in my chest anyway.
Once we were heading in the general direction of my apartment I started asking him to make random turns, a left here, a right there, straight on when he'd already started signaling that he was going to turn. Judging from the glares he was throwing me this was not his idea of a good time.
The driver might not like it, but I needed to be sure we weren't being followed. Kylie gave me a few weird looks but stayed quiet. She could tell how freaked out I was, I knew that because she kept patting my thigh as though she was reassuring me but it just felt a little patronizing.
Was I being paranoid? Maybe. Would I rather be paranoid than roped back into pack life? Definitely.
The thing was, this was all my own fault. I knew I shouldn't have gone tonight, but I let myself be talked into it because I was feeling weak and vulnerable, also I didn't want to hurt the friendship I had with Kylie. I loved going to the cafe at lunch and chatting with her, and I didn't want that to change just because I couldn't loosen up and go to a party. It would change now though; my paranoia would take care of that for me.
After all, Jax knew I was alive. He knew I was in the city. There wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it either.
10
WHEN I WOKE the next morning, it was after a crappy night that was more full of nightmares than actual sleep. I dragged my ass out of bed and into the shower to get the stink of the party off me. I should have done it last night but I was too paranoid to be naked somewhere that I couldn't get out of. So I slept in my clothes. With my shoes on. And a knife under my pillow.
Totally normal.
Right.
On the weekends I liked to focus on cardio since I didn't have any where I had to be. The garage was closed, and I didn't have any friends so it was two days of me time, which usually involved me over thinking things and letting my paranoia get the better of me. Fun stuff.
My paranoia was already on point but I was hoping going for a run would wear me out enough that I wouldn't be able to obsess over seeing Jax the night before. Maybe, just maybe, I could trick my brain into not being an asshole. Doubtful though.
I ran with earbuds in but not playing music. It helped me avoid talking to people who tried to strike up an awkward conversation when I paused at traffic lights, but without anything playing I could still hear if someone was coming up behind me. So after getting my gear on I set off.
My route was the same every weekend for the most part, what can I say, I'm a creature of habit. The city blocks breezed by with me getting stuck at fewer lights than usual which was nice since it let me keep my heart rate up.
I may have looked like I didn't give a shit about anything on my run, but the reality was I had been constantly glancing over my shoulder the whole time, checking my peripherals, making sure I wasn't being followed. I couldn't fall back into pack life, not just because of Jax and the sway he held over me when we were kids. I wasn't a kid anymore and the only thing that connected us, Sammy, was gone. There was nothing tying me to him and I wasn't about to risk imprinting on someone just because we used to be friends once upon a time before the pack killed my whole family. No way, no sir.
When I rounded the corner and headed into the park, I felt a prickling on the back of my neck like I was being watched. It wasn't that unusual, a young woman being physically active generally drew attention. This was something different. A more pointed stare maybe? I wasn't sure, but it raised my wolf's hackles.
I increased my pace, if whoever it was that was watching me was following me it would become obvious fairly quickly with how fast I was running. It didn't matter how much faster I ran though I still had that same feeling.
A twig or small branch broke behind me, and I almost rolled my ankle as I turned toward the sound mid-stride. No one was there. I stood on the path, in the middle, not caring about anyone who might come by, and carefully scented the air only to come up with nothing, not even the faint smell of humans. According to my nose the only thing around me was a couple squirrels, but they would've had to be some pretty chunky critters to make twigs snap under their feet. My wolf didn't like it. She was just as alert and on edge as I was, but neither of us could sense any imminent threats so I turned back around and kept running, picking up my pace until I was almost running full tilt to get out of there.
As I rounded a corner of the trail I got the scent of shifter in my nose, nothing distinctive like a personal scent, just a general wolfy smell. It made my heart rate spike and the need to sprint even worse. All I wanted was to get away. Frankly, I wanted to get back to my apartment as quickly as possible, but that would be like calling out "Who's there?" when you think someone's broken into your home. All it would get me was trapped and reveal my home's location to whoever had found me. No, as much as I wanted to go home I couldn't, but I could go to the gym like normal. I was fairly positive at least one of the guys who were there on Saturdays would help me if I needed it.
By the time I exited the other side of the park I was running as fast as I could without drawing human attention. It was enough to have me sweating and breathing hard. I was still looking over my shoulder every few strides, but never saw anyone. I moved toward the gym, heading along the same path as always, knowing it was the fastest route and my familiarity with it would make it easier for me to pay attention to my surroundings.
When I reached the corner right by the gym I turned around completely, hoping to catch whoever was watching me off guard, but there was still no one there. Maybe I was just starting to lose it? What if seeing Jax last night had finally pushed me over the edge and now I was hallucinating things that my paranoia was pretending existed?
I pushed open the gym door and stepped inside. A few seconds later the feeling had dissipated completely. After going to the back and changing my shoes I headed back out to the weights.
Richard was there almost immediately. "How are you doing?"
I grabbed a couple weights from the rack and moved to my usual corner since it was empty while Richard followed. My arms fell into the motion of muscle memory and I looked at Richard. "I don
't know, if I'm honest with you."
"What do you mean?" he asked as he sat down on the bench next to me with his own weights and began lifting.
I looked away from him, focused on my reflection in the mirror and my form while I let the words spew forth from my mouth. "I went to a party, a friend convinced me that I was getting too worked up and needed to relax. While I was there I ran into … a guy from my past. He was friends with my brother, we had even been friends, as much as you can be friends with someone's kid sister, but something was off. I got a bad vibe from him. I know that sounds crazy, I mean, he was my brother's friend. I just can't shake this feeling that being around him would be hazardous to my health." I paused my lifting and looked at Richard. "It scared me. This guy knows I'm in the city now, he knows I'm still around, still alive. What if he comes looking for me?"
"We'll protect you. I'll walk you home when we are done and no one will hurt you, I promise."
I wanted to yell at him, tell him not to make promises he couldn't keep, but the sincerity in his voice and the look of brotherly affection in his eyes kept my mouth shut. I nodded and we went back to our workout.
We didn't box on Saturdays and that day was no different, but true to his word Richard walked me home. I felt a vague sensation of being watched but nothing like before, and whenever I glanced around no one was there. Was I really that paranoid? I couldn't tell anymore and that scared me almost as much as the thought of Jax finding me.
Richard gave me an awkward pat on the shoulder and left me to enter my apartment alone, which was how I preferred it. I trusted Richard, more than I probably should, but no one saw my apartment or knew which one was mine. Hell, he hadn't even known which apartment complex I lived in until he walked me home, and I'd known the guy for years.
Once I was inside I locked the door, threw the deadbolt, and threaded the chain across it just to be sure. It wouldn't stop a shifter if they wanted to get in, but it would at least alert me to their presence.
I ordered some delivery, which was basically my version of going out to a fancy restaurant because fuck delivery fees. I was too cheap, and too poor to pay them normally, but I was most definitely not leaving my apartment again for the rest of the weekend if I didn't have to, so I ordered enough food to last me. Who said lo mein for breakfast was a bad thing?
With a happy, full belly and some random TV show on I'd finally started to relax when a car door sounded like a firework going off right next to my apartment. It didn't just happen once, but multiple times.
My heart beat hard in my chest and I got up from the couch and moved to the window, carefully flicking the blind open only as much as absolutely necessary. I needed to see what was going on, to know if Jax was coming for me. What I saw was nothing all that unusual.
There was a car parked across the street with its parking lights on. The windows were tinted enough or maybe there just wasn't enough light to see in. I had no idea if it was occupied, but the engine was still running and that made me nervous.
I backed away from the window, careful to let the blind slat I'd been holding fall back into place slowly so that the movement didn't draw any attention. As I moved further into my living area, I turned off the TV and killed the lights. I didn't want anyone trying to see inside.
It wasn't like there was a lot to see, plus I was on the third floor so they couldn't just walk up, but that wouldn't necessarily stop a shifter if they were determined enough. My anxiety was through the roof, and I didn't know what to do about it. I'd never been anxious before everything happened with my parents, then it was just me and Sammy and he had no idea how to help me deal with it so I'd never learned. Or, rather, I'd never developed any healthy ways to deal with my anxiety.
So what did I do for the rest of the night to satisfy my anxiety? I changed into black clothes and pulled my hair back so it wasn't as visible, grabbed a book and sat down on the floor next to the couch. I carefully lifted one of the slats with a toe, just enough so I could see out and keep an eye on the car.
That was where I spent the night. I watched the car between reading sections in my book, waiting for it to move, for the lights to turn off, for the engine to turn off, for someone to get out or in, but nothing happened. No movement, no changes.
It almost felt like the car from Christine, like the car itself was just watching me. That was just my tired brain talking though. Cars couldn't actually watch people. Maybe someone had meant to come back to it but forgot or something? That had to be it.
I don't know what time it was when I fell asleep but I woke up with a crick in my neck, a numb ass, and sore back. I looked out of the window as soon as my brain was coherent enough to remember what I had been doing.
The car was gone.
Even in the light of day, my wolf and my human side agreed, something about that had been off. And I still couldn't shake the feeling that the car and its occupants were there watching me.
11
BY THE TIME Monday rolled around, I was ready to get out of my apartment. There was only so much TV a girl could watch before she started getting bored, and I was definitely bored. The problem was, I was also terrified of leaving my apartment.
The creeptastic car on Saturday night had been the cherry on top of the crappy ice cream sundae that was my life recently. I couldn't let it stop me from getting to work though, not if I wanted to pay my rent on time. It didn't matter that I'd barely slept over the weekend. After being too worked up from seeing Jax at the party and then the car I'd barely slept on Sunday, since I was sure at any moment someone was going to bust down my door and drag me away.
It never happened though.
What did my paranoia get me? Exhaustion, that was all. When I left for work at my normal time I grabbed an energy drink that I kept in the fridge for emergencies exactly like not sleeping for three nights in a row. I chugged it on the way to the gym, using the spike of caffeine and fear that I was still being followed to get my butt moving. My workout was subpar, but I still went and that was what counted. Richard walked me to work again and the whole time I felt that prickly sensation along the back of my neck like I was being watched.
If I hadn't needed the money, and hadn't known it would completely screw Clark over, I may have even called in sick to work. He didn't have anyone else working on Mondays that could fit under the cars though, so I knew he'd be in trouble. I could practically see the relief on his face when I arrived, or maybe that was just lack of sleep and wishful thinking.
The morning passed without incident, no shifters came into the shop, no one weird lurked in the shadows, just me and the metal beasts I worked on all day, every day. It was almost enough to soothe my anxiety, but not quite. I'd been debating skipping lunch, but I knew I needed my routine if I was going to feel like Jax wasn't right behind my every step, so I clocked out and headed to the cafe. I needed to apologize to Kylie again anyway. She hadn't said anything but I knew I'd ruined her night, and probably her chance of getting laid, so I wanted to make sure she knew I appreciated her support.
When I got there Kylie smiled and waved at me through the window. I swung open the glass door as the awning fluttered over my head and stepped into the air conditioning. It was like my melt down and panic on Friday never happened. I wasn't even two steps into the cafe when it all went to shit. She pointed to the seating area with a huge grin plastered across her face.
There in the corner, tucked out of view from the door, was Jax.
I stared at him for a moment before coming to my senses. I turned and grabbed the door handle, yanking it open, but I couldn't get outside. I couldn't even take another step. A large shifter had placed himself in the doorway. I couldn't get out, couldn't run. I was trapped.
Even as I tried to look for another way out I could feel the menace rolling off the shifter in waves, as though he was daring me to run because he'd love nothing more than to chase and catch me. It wasn't just that though, the way he was acting … he might have been bigger than Jax, but he wasn't
in charge.
I looked over my shoulder and took in the way Jax was seated, what he was wearing, his casual confidence, and I knew then that he was an alpha. Whether it was of the whole pack I wasn't sure, I hadn't been part of the pack recently enough to know any more. If he was an unmated alpha then the whole situation just got a whole lot more dangerous for me.
He cleared his throat behind me and I turned back to face him fully. It was obvious I wasn't going to get away, not with the guy on the front door, and I had no doubt there was at least one guy on the back door as well. Alphas never traveled without some of their pack, their most loyal followers who would take a bullet or blade without question.
If it wasn't for my coveralls I felt sure that they would have been able to see my knees knocking together in fear. Usually when I was scared my heart would beat at a frantic pace, but in that moment it was slow and steady, as though my wolf knew that any hint of weakness would be taken advantage of, that I couldn't afford to let them know how scared I was.
As soon as my ass was in the seat opposite Jax he smiled, as though that was the battle he was concerned with winning. Kylie appeared a moment later with my usual order of coffee but no food. As she set it down on the table she faced me and gave me a thumbs up and a wink for good measure.
I wanted to scream at her. Did she not see the mountain of a man by the door that wouldn't let me leave? Did she not think it was strange that I'd been terrified for the last few days and was then, I don't know, on a date with some guy? I was sure that was what it looked like. Lunch at the cafe. Me in my coveralls and grease and Jax in his suit and tie, looking every inch the businessman he wasn't.
"So a mechanic, hm?" Jax asked.
At first I didn't know what to say, should I ignore him? Wait until this whole thing was over so I could make a break for one of the exits? The only reason I opened my mouth was because I thought playing nice might get him out of there faster. "Yep, it gets me by."
