by Helen Scott
Kylie picked me up at nine on the dot. I knew I should be excited, should be rushing out of the door toward my friend and a night of fun, but I couldn't bring the feeling up within myself. I locked up and walked to the car, dread pooling in my stomach, making me fight the urge to vomit. I felt more like I was walking in a funeral march than anything else. Or maybe to my own grave.
I wouldn't end up dead from a night of dancing though, so I reminded myself, once again, that I could do this, that this was not a death sentence. As I moved toward the cab I forced myself to release the vice-like grip I had on my keys, take a deep breath, and not walk like my feet were encased in cement.
This was okay. Hell, this was normal. Trying to convince myself I was a normal woman having a normal night out with a friend was like trying to convince me that the sky was green. I could see with my own eyes that it wasn't, that I wasn't normal, so I couldn't trick my brain into thinking anything else. I was a shifter who was terrified of other shifters, who probably had some mild agoraphobia, and who felt like she was about to have a heart attack as she opened the cab door.
Kylie wouldn't let anything bad happen to me. I was sure she wouldn't take me to some dangerous party after what I'd told her. I just had to trust her, said the woman with severe trust issues. Right. Easier said than done.
8
WHEN I GOT in the cab Kylie’s face was dead serious, making all my warning bells go off in my head.
“Nina. Are you ready to shake that ass?” she asked, completely deadpan.
“Uh, yes?” I replied, even though I wanted to say no and bolt from the cab like a deer from a hunter.
“You better be. I need you to relax tonight. Have a good time. And most importantly, help mama get some.” Finally, her face cracked into a smile that looked like it could have stretched from ear to ear.
It was impossible not to return it.
“Oh my God, girl, look at you! I mean I knew you’d clean up good, but damn!” She fanned herself as she looked me up and down.
"You're not so bad yourself," I said with a grin as my eyes mimicked hers. It was the truth as well. Her brown hair was out from its usual bun and fell in luscious waves around her face and shoulders. A tight white dress with bright splashes of neon colors hugged her form, and sky-high heels decorated her feet. Her makeup was flawless as well, the kind I could only dream of ever doing. A glittery blue shadow decorated the inner corner of her lids and faded into a neon pink on the outer edge. The colors were accented by the thick black lashes that adorned her eyes, which made me wonder how she opened them, since the lashes looked so heavy. A nude lip that was slicked with shimmery gloss topped it off.
"Why thank you, lovely," she said as she squeezed my arm.
I felt positively schlubby in comparison. My dress was a royal blue color with spaghetti straps and a flirty-flowy skirt. Nothing like the sex bomb dress Kylie was wearing, but she had seemed to like it when I first got in the car so I was going with that. My hair was stick straight, naturally, and fell in thick sheets around my shoulders. I hadn't realized how long it was until I was brushing it out and it almost hit my waist, which helped me feel less exposed in my dress since the back was low cut. It was still quite short though, barely coming to mid-thigh and if I spun quickly enough the onlookers would definitely get a view of my next load of laundry.
Seeing her dressed up, and just seeing her outside of the cafe for that matter, was weird. It was like being a kid and seeing your teacher outside of the classroom. Somehow in your head that was the only place they existed, then when you saw them elsewhere it messed with your perception. It felt kind of like she was looking at me the same way. I mean she never saw me outside of my mechanic's coveralls, so I was probably just as shocking in some ways, though I would wager not as shocking as her.
"I'm not going to get any action tonight; I can just tell. Having you next to me, Miss Classy Blonde Bombshell, I won't even get a second look." She waved up and down at me.
I snorted in response, already feeling my nerves calming as we kept up our usual banter even outside of the cafe. "Yeah, 'cause you're hideous in that dress. Please, I'll be the one no one looks at, which is fine by me. I'm just trying to relax a little, dance my problems away, that's it."
When the cab stopped in the parking lot of a bunch of warehouses I wanted to ask what the hell was going on, but Kylie just smiled and tipped the guy. As she got out I was left with the decision of either following my friend or going home. I got out of the cab.
I'd come this far and wasn't about to turn back now. I wasn't a quitter, that I knew for sure. If I was, life would have broken me a few times over by now.
I followed Kylie around to the back entrance of a warehouse. As soon as we were close enough the bass rattled through the walls, practically shaking the tarmac of the parking lot. Nervous energy fluttered in my belly as we approached what I guessed was supposed to be the doorman for the party.
Kylie greeted him like an old friend, giving him a hug and a kiss on each cheek. He slapped her on the ass as she walked by and gave me a respectful nod as I followed. As soon as we were in the door my stomach dropped, right as Kylie grabbed my hand and began to drag me through the crowd.
It was a black light party. I couldn't see shit. Except for the lasers and strobe lights, but they were just pointed at the ceiling. With the warehouse being out in the packing district there weren't a ton of lights shining in windows, so we got the full effect. One I didn't want. What even was the point of having a doorman? Anyone could get in and roam around unseen. Someone could stab us, leave us to die, and no one would notice until the morning, if then, since it didn't look like this place was used that much.
Someone handed Kylie glow sticks along with glow bracelets and glow necklaces. I'd never really used one before so I watched as Kylie broke them all up and shook them about until a faint light began to emit from each of them. She looped the largest circle around her neck and put the others on her wrists before swinging the sticks around for a moment and grinning at me like an idiot.
I followed her example and had my glowing necklace and bracelets on in a matter of moments, while I hung on to my sticks like they were life preservers. My eyes were still having a hard time adjusting to the black lights, and with the fog machine and all the cologne and perfume around my nose was useless, plus, the loud music and bass were just on the edge of pain for my shifter ears.
Once we were all set, Kylie grabbed my hand again and we wove through the crowd like a snake through the grass, ending up at the bar. Suddenly, with Kylie ordering drinks and not holding on to me I felt adrift. This wasn't my scene. I didn't do this kind of thing, and I didn't know why I thought I could. I moved closer to Kylie who downed a shot in one gulp before grabbing a bottle of beer from the bartender's outstretched hand.
"You ordering anything, babe?" Kylie yelled in my ear.
I shook my head.
A guy bumped into Kylie as she moved away from the bar, trying to make room for others to order their drinks, and I could tell from the way Kylie popped her hip and smirked up at him that this wasn't going to be a quick "excuse me" before we moved on. Especially when I saw his expression. He was practically drooling over my friend, and I didn't blame him, she was fucking hotter than hot in that dress. The thing practically shone like a beacon in the black light, and the colors glowed neon, highlighting her curves.
"'Sup?" A guy called as he stood next to what I guessed was his buddy who was chatting up Kylie. She already had the friend wrapped around her little finger, just like the lock of hair she was twirling as she looked up at him, biting on her lower lip.
"Hey," I shouted back. This was awkward. I was awkward. An awkward noodle, just noodling about at a black light party that I had no business being at.
"You guys sisters or what?" The guy shouted in my ear.
It was only because he'd moved closer that I could tell he was human and not a shifter, a thought that sent a tendril of fear winding through me. "No, just f
riends."
"You been to one of these before?" he asked.
"Nope," I said, not offering any explanation.
"What do you think so far?" A for effort my man, but I just wasn't interested, even though he was willing to take one for the team so his buddy could talk to Kylie.
"It's interesting."
When I didn't make any effort to keep the conversation going, he rolled his eyes and moved back over to his buddy. He said something in his friend's ear and the man who'd been chatting with Kylie glanced at me, his eyes looking me up and down, clearly unimpressed. It didn't bother me; I was used to being evaluated. Practically every time a guy brought his car into the shop he'd see my blonde bun and give me the once over as if trying to convince himself it was okay for a woman to work on his car.
It wasn't that I was uninterested in sex, don't get me wrong, I missed it like crazy, but my collection of vibrators was growing rapidly, and that meant I didn't need to take a chance on a random human. This was definitely true when combined with the fact that I didn't find him particularly attractive. Just because he had expressed interest in me didn't mean I had to fall onto his dick. Plus, humans were so much weaker than shifters, having sex with them was awkward because I was always worried about breaking them.
Kylie grabbed my hand and smiled at me, wiggling her phone around like I was supposed to know what that meant. Maybe she got his number? Either way we were moving on from the bar and the awkward duo we'd run into, which was a relief for me.
The further we moved into the warehouse the more my instincts were screaming at me to turn and leave. Kylie kept looking back at me and smiling though, so I tried to look like I was having a good time. We moved through different rooms that seemed to have been built just for the party if the plywood walls were anything to go by. Spray paint cans and markers were on the floor next to some of the walls, and people were using them to draw and write, most of it was about dicks and pussies, but occasionally there was an overly deep quote from some music artist.
The rooms were getting darker and darker as we progressed, and my heart was climbing in my chest until it felt like it was beating up in my throat. As we went through another door another partier jostled against me, knocking my hand from Kylie's grip. I glared up at whoever they were. This was not happening. Nope. Kylie wouldn't walk away, but when I reached for where she should be standing she wasn't there.
"Kylie!"
The next room was the darkest yet, but the colors seemed to glow even brighter so I scanned every movement for a glimpse of her dress, only to find none. I moved around the room, keeping my back to the wall so no one could get behind me. I desperately searched for my friend but if she was there, I couldn’t see her.
I moved to the next room, my eyes straining to see anything further than a few feet away. Still no sign of Kylie. Suddenly, a figure loomed up from the darkness right in front of me. Tall, broad shoulders blocked my view of everything but him, and I tipped my head back to tell him to move, to snarl at him and shove him out of my way since I was so done with humans and their bullshit in that moment, but I saw his teeth gleaming white in the blacklight as his mouth broke into a smile. There was something sinister about it.
I couldn't make out the rest of his face, but when his voice rumbled through my chest, my heart stopped, and icy fear filled my veins. “Antonia Matsen. Never thought I’d see you here.”
My life was over.
9
NO. It couldn't be who it sounded like. Could it? This voice was deeper, older. Couldn't be him. But he knew my name.
Someone pushed past me again and the scent of shifter rushed into me. Panic filled me, I started to have trouble breathing. I needed to get out of there. Whoever it was I’d scented knew me, which meant they knew my family, and that they knew everything that had happened.
"Honestly, I'm glad to see you're okay. When you disappeared after Sam told me to look out for you I was scared you'd died, just like he did. It's been pretty hard to look out for someone I couldn't find," the voice said. A strobe light flashed in the next room.
My senses were already overwhelmed, I didn't need that added to it as well. When it flashed again in a burst I was able to make out more of the room, and more of the man who had me frozen in place. The thought made me want to laugh, all that training and for what? The second I was confronted by someone who knew me I froze like a rabbit in front of a predator.
Although, it was Jaxon standing there in front of me.
My eyes were drawn to his face and I barely yanked them away in time. I could have imprinted on him. God, what was wrong with me? It was like the dark had made me forget everything I wanted to do, to be, in life and I was just willing to stand in front of another shifter, one who knew me, and almost look him in the eye when I knew damn well that was what triggered imprinting. Why was I still standing there?
Because of Sam.
That's why I hadn't bolted. Jaxon had been one of his best friends. It didn't surprise me that Sam had asked Jax to look out for me. That didn't mean I wanted him knowing I was still around though. It was better for all of us if I slipped away again.
Jax had helped Sammy get me out, I knew that, I just didn't know if Jax knew that. If Jax hadn't given Sammy some of his earnings I never would have been able to leave. Sammy had me set up with new IDs and everything, not that I ever got to use them, but he wouldn't have been able to afford that by himself, so Jax had pitched in. Although I don't know that Sammy ever explicitly told him what he needed the money for, since he barely even trusted me with the knowledge that he was trying to get me out, and as it turned out the one friend he had trusted with it, unless Jax knew as well, had cost him his life.
Part of me wondered what would have happened between Jax and I if I'd come of age in the pack. Would he have tried to claim me? Protect me like my brother? Fight for me? When I was a kid I'd thought he was attractive—and from what I could see in the dark he'd grown into a handsome man—but there was something off about him. My she-wolf sensed it and wanted me to run as far and fast as possible.
"So you're still in the city, huh?" Jax asked as I took a step backward. I could feel his eyes raking over my skin, evaluating, judging, deciding if I was worth his time. I was used to it from humans, but I hated it from another shifter.
"Yeah, uh, for a little while," I replied, unsure how to extract myself from this situation. Apparently, becoming a hermit and not interacting with people outside of ordering food and doing my job had made me socially awkward.
"Thinking about coming back to the pack?" he asked hopefully. His head bent to my line of sight, like he was trying to catch my eye but I turned away from him.
"Not really, I, uh, have my own thing going on." I took a couple more steps backward and he followed. I needed to get out, to not get backed into a corner, physically or verbally, and definitely not to imprint on Jax.
"Really? What thing?"
"Oh, you know, my own life, job, that kind of stuff. Sorry, but I should really find my friend. Nice to see you again, Jax." I rushed away, through the next doorway and into a lighter room, not bright by any means, but not a whisper above pitch-black with the occasional strobe light either.
I glanced over my shoulder expecting Jax to be gone, but he wasn't, he was just standing there watching me. I barely caught myself before making eye contact with him. My heart thudded in my chest at the way he was watching me in my peripheral vision, and not in a good way. It's that reaction you have when you know you're prey and that the predator after you is stronger, faster, more capable than you ever could be. It's the feeling most female wolf shifters get at some point in their lives, the one that says they're being hunted even though it may not look like it to the outside world.
When I turned back around Kylie was a few feet away talking to a guy. I couldn't tell if it was the same guy from the bar or not, but the relief I felt at seeing my friend was so immense that it made my throat close up. I'm not a crier though, so I swallowed that feeling
down and headed over to her.
"Girl, I've been looking for you everywhere," I called when I was close enough.
"Hey! There you are! I thought I'd lost you," she replied as she pulled me closer to her.
The guy she was talking to gave her the stink eye before moving away. I had no idea what that was about and in that moment I didn't care. All I wanted was to get out of there. "I need to leave, please come with me?"
"Leave? We only just got here," she shouted so she could be heard over the music before taking a drink from her bottle of beer.
It didn't feel like that to me. I was exhausted, and my senses were begging for quiet and dark. It felt like we'd already been there for hours to me, but with the added stress of knowing that Jax was around somewhere, and I knew he wouldn't be there alone, every second felt like an hour.
I pulled out the big guns. "I think some guys from my brother's old crew are here."
Kylie's eyes bugged out, as though the thought of gang members, or at least that's what she thought they were, being at a party she attended never occurred to her. It would be the perfect place to come and deal drugs or abduct people for human trafficking, or maybe just find someone to keep your bed warm for the night. It might be fun if I didn't know what was out there, but I did and I wanted to get the hell outta dodge.
"Okay, we can go," she said as she chugged the last of her beer, scrunching her face up at the end as though it tasted revolting. Why she'd drink it if she hated it I didn't know, but as I'd come to understand, much about Kylie was a mystery. The woman I’d thought I'd known was only a small fragment of the woman as a whole, which was fine, until it put me in situations like this.
The two of us weaved through the crowd toward the exit, hands clamped together, so no one could separate us this time. I looked over my shoulder as we headed out the door and saw Jax watching me. His eyes took in everything. I knew he'd clocked Kylie, my only hope was that he had just been able to see the back of her head and nothing else. I really didn't need to get the one person who had been nice to me involved in this shit.
