Max Rage: Twelve Punches To Mars!

by Jake Bible

  “SCOOOOOOOOOOOOP!” Rage shouted so loud that he shattered the massive ears of a rare Narpalian Gormer Bat Guy. That was the alien race’s actual name. Narpalian Gormer Bat Guy. They had big ears. Except that one. His ears were shattered by Rage’s shout.

  “My ears!” the alien cried before he shat himself, turned, and ran away crying. “Why? WHY?”

  “TOOOK SNULLA POOOOOO!” Rage exclaimed just before a large steel pipe collided with his forehead.

  Rage barely felt the impact. The wielder of the pipe stared at the huge dent in the almost indestructible metal while Rage rubbed his forehead and grinned. The wielder of the pipe screamed then turned to run away, but he wasn’t fast enough. Rage grabbed him by the back of the neck and yanked his spine straight up out of his body.

  Then Rage began beating everything and everyone within arm’s reach with head and spine. Surprisingly, the head on the spine was still screaming. Even without vocal chords, the dude was making quite the racket which only egged Rage on. Also, to the head/spine dude’s genetic credit, said head/spine stayed intact for several minutes, killing about thirty Scorchers.

  But, all things homicidal must come to an end and the head finally cracked open and the spine snapped in two. Rage pouted at the loss of the fun weapon. He let the remains fall from his grip and got back to good old-fashioned punching shit.

  He punched a Milgo, cracking rocky skin and sending lava spilling everywhere.

  He punched two Bascols at once, his fists speeding past their lure hands that were meant to distract him, and connected with the big, fleshy bodies. Rage’s arms sunk elbow deep into the alien flesh and he was almost pulled off balance. But he recovered, wrapped his fingers around fold after fold of skin and pulled, tearing the Bascols apart.

  He punched human after human after human after human. They dropped like flies in the face of his superior abilities. Humans just were not built like other races. They broke so easily when a physically enhanced fist slammed into their weak faces.

  On and on and on Rage went. He demolished every single Scorcher within reach. He even killed those not in reach by using his oh-so-successful spine javelin trick a few more times.

  “CRABBOLA PINE!” Rage roared as he shook bloody flesh and offal over his head, his eyes wide and his teeth stained red from a few well-placed throat bites.

  Then he staggered left. Some of the bloody flesh fell to the ground when his fingers began to lose their strength. The offal fell too as the muscles in his arms started twitching. Rage staggered right and tripped over a stray severed head. His arms were no longer cooperating and his forehead met ground with a thickening thunk.

  “PUBLOooooooo…,” he grunted.

  All of his strength and ferocity was gone. The nanite-spiked water party was coming to an end and fast. Rage felt some of his normal self returning, but his spiked water self wasn’t sure what to do about that.

  “Gubbaaaa…” he muttered.

  “Mr. Rage?”

  “Fooorg?” he replied. He tried to lift and turn his head, but his neck wouldn’t comply. “Daaaaag?”

  “Mr. Rage? You don’t look so well. I know a place where you can rest and recuperate.”

  “Naaaarrrg…” Rage responded.

  “Yes, very true, Mr. Rage, you do have somewhere to be. But I am afraid you are in no shape to go anywhere. Here, let me help you.”

  A warm, wet, whiteness encompassed Rage’s face and the world was turned into a gauzy twilight.

  “Spoooop,” Rage said and sighed then he let go and all went dark.

  Twenty-Six

  Rage came to and started swinging. He punched a wall, a small, attractive lamp bolted to the wall, and a good amount of lavender-colored pillows.

  “What the fuck?” Rage exclaimed as he tried to roll off the bed, but ended up only rolling into more lavender-colored pillows. There really were a lot of lavender-colored pillows. “HEY!”

  Rage stared at the dimly lit room and realized the bed he was on took up the entire space. There was a door in one wall, but it was about half a meter above the top of the bed and only a meter square. Whether you were coming in or out of the room, you were going to have to crawl through that door.

  “Sure. Why the fuck not?” Rage said as he crawled toward the door.

  In addition to the lavender-colored pillows, there was also a very strong aroma of lavender. And once he got a good look, Rage saw that the walls were painted lavender and the bed’s comforter was even lavender.

  Rage made no judgments since he’d gone through a lavender phase once. Who hadn’t, right?

  He reached the door and was about to grab the handle when it opened inward and clonked him in the face. He fell back onto the bed and rubbed his nose.

  “Oh, sorry about that, Mr. Rage,” a woman’s voice said. “I thought you were still sleeping.”

  Rage dropped his hand and looked up at the door. A very attractive female head was peering in at him. She had four eyes, all as dark as the deepest ebony, two nasal slits instead of a nose, and a mouth that was filled with fangs, but her facial structure could only be called beautiful. Rage took a deep breath to calm himself down. The face was stirring some intense feelings.

  “How do you feel, Mr. Rage?” the woman asked.

  “Confused as fuck,” Rage replied.

  The woman blinked all four of her eyes and her fang-filled mouth widened into a gorgeous smile.

  “I would think so,” the woman said. “My name is Altra. You are a guest in my home. I hope you don’t mind that I brought you here. You were not well and if I had left you above, then more of the deranged would have found you eventually and possibly done awful, awful things to that incredibly tone and well-built physique of yours.”

  Yeah, Rage felt a stirring and it wasn’t just feelings. The woman’s voice had a musical lilt to it and all Rage wanted to do was wrap his arms around that voice and promise to protect it forever.

  “Uh…hi,” Rage said. “I’m Max. Max Rage.”

  “Yes, I know who you are, Mr. Rage,” Altra said. “I have been addressing you by your last name. But since you are in my bedroom and I have already seen you without clothes, may I call you Max?”

  “Yeah. Sure,” Rage said. “Call me Max.”

  Then her words caught up and Rage realized he was stark naked.

  “Um, about the clothes?” Rage asked.

  “Crawl on out of my bedroom and you can get dressed,” Altra said. “I have your jeans and T-shirt cleaned and pressed. My laundry bot is incredible. It even got all of the blood and other bodily fluids out.”

  Rage gulped and nodded.

  “Okay,” was all he managed to say.

  Rage crawled up and out of the bedroom, which was literally a bed room, and down a short set of steps. Once on the floor of the room outside the bedroom, Rage stood, stretched, became a little self-conscious of his nudity since his stirring had turned into full-on arousal, then promptly forgot all about being self-conscious over his arousal when he saw all of Altra.

  She was a foot shorter than Rage and naked too. Her body was an incredible hourglass shape because, as it turned out, she was some sort of spider lady. Her torso was lithe and tone with four arms that waved sensually as she walked away from Rage. Altra’s trunk was thick and muscular. She had four legs, two in front of the others, and her, well, ass was one of the best Rage had ever laid eyes on. There was a confusing little spike just at the top of her butt cheeks, but Rage didn’t stay confused for long.

  Altra turned around and Rage gulped again when she revealed four perfect breasts arranged with two above two. Her midsection was tight and muscular, showing a six pack of well-conditioned abs. Yet even with all the muscle she showed, Altra had a softness to her that pretty much melted Rage.

  Well, almost melted him. One part stayed very stiff.

  “Max,” Altra said and put one of her hands to her mouth as she glanced between his legs. “You’re making me blush.”

  Rage nodded then came out o
f his spell and looked down.

  “Shit. Sorry,” Rage said. His hand shot out and grabbed the first thing he could find. It was a lavender pillow from the back of a small loveseat. He held it in front of his crotch and frowned. “It’s just that… Uh… You’re gorgeous and I’m naked and you know…”

  “Max, I do know,” Altra said. “I appreciate the flattery and take no offense. I would be more offended if you were not attracted to me. I work very hard to keep myself in shape. Not all of my kind are able to maintain proper muscle tone. We can be known to overeat, at times.”

  “Huh,” Rage said. He cleared his throat. “Um, my clothes?”

  “Yes, right here,” Altra said and snapped her fingers. “I forget sometimes since I do not wear clothes.”

  A bot rolled into the small living room and held out Rage’s jeans and black T-shirt. He hurried to put them on and ignored the fact he wasn’t given underwear. Commando it was.

  “Thanks,” Rage said.

  He was going to say more, but his eyes caught sight of something he’d clearly missed before. Altra had a couple extra orifices down below. He blinked, but he couldn’t quite figure everything out.

  “Would you like me to explain, Max? Or would that be embarrassing? I know humans can get embarrassed when it comes to genitalia,” Altra said.

  “I was a Master Chief Sergeant Major,” Rage said. “I don’t get embarrassed.”

  “Alright then,” Altra said and pointed down with one of her hands. “Two are for elimination of waste, one is for reproduction, and one is for pleasure exclusively.” She turned and pointed to the spot above her butt cheeks. “And this is my spinner. My kind can make webbing.”

  “You’re a freaking spider lady,” Rage said and held up his hands. “No offense. I didn’t mean that to sound so rude.”

  “Oh, you didn’t sound rude at all, Max. It can’t be easy seeing one of my kind for the first time,” Altra said.

  “I’ve seen a lot just not someone like…you,” Rage responded. “Uh, the web-spinning? I kind of remember maybe something wrapping me up. Was that you?”

  “It was,” Altra said. “It was easier to transport you that way. You are such a large specimen for a human that carrying you solely with my arms would have tired me out just something awful.”

  “Yeah, I’m big,” Rage said and giggled.

  Then he punched himself in the cheek.

  “Max! Why on Mars would you do that to yourself?” Altra exclaimed. She rushed forward and placed two hands on his cheek. “You mustn’t ever do that again. It upsets me.”

  “Sorry,” Rage said, leaning his cheek into her palms. “I giggled. I don’t giggle. Needed to stop that right away and also make sure I’m not dreaming.”

  “If you were dreaming, would it be a good one?” Altra asked and pressed herself up against Rage.

  Rage’s heart beat wildly as her breasts pushed against his chest. She let out a slight sigh and pushed in closer, wrapping her two other hands around his back.

  “Your pulse is so strong. So powerful,” Altra said, her four eyes staring up into Rage’s face. “I could sleep to that rhythm forever.”

  “Sleep?” Rage asked.

  “Perhaps not sleep so much as—”

  Rage kissed her hard. He wrapped his arms around her back and they kissed for several minutes, their bodies clutched within each other’s embrace. Her sharp fangs tore at his tongue and their mouths filled with blood, but he healed instantly.

  When they finished, Altra pulled back and licked her lips then her eyes went super wide and she pulled away from Rage to retreat across the room.

  “Oh, I apologize, Max,” she said.

  “For what? Letting me kiss you?” Rage asked. “It was my pleasure, believe me.”

  “No, for enjoying the taste of your blood,” Altra said. “It was not my intention to do that. You are a guest, not a meal, and I have a rule about not eating sentient beings. I subsist on only the lesser lifeforms. Not as delicious, but certainly enjoyable and nutritious.”

  “Great to hear. So, what do you say? More kissing?” Rage asked.

  “After we have some tea and talk, Max,” Altra said. “Would you care to sit with me in my kitchen?”

  “Sure,” Rage said, positive he’d follow her and sit anywhere she wanted him to.

  The kitchen was small and cozy. Rage felt like everything, other than the bedroom, was straight out of a dollhouse. Polite and conservative furnishings. Cute appliances and tableware. Rage thought he’d see lace curtains over the sink, but there were no windows. Altra had mentioned bringing him from above.

  “It’s a Darjeeling hybrid I order,” Altra said as she poured two mugs of tea, handed Rage one, then sat down at the kitchen table next to him, two of her legs brushing against his. “I hope you enjoy it.”

  Rage sipped and had no idea if he enjoyed the tea or not. He enjoyed sipping the tea with her, so that was all that mattered.

  “I have, of course, heard of you, Max,” Altra said. “Who hasn’t heard of the Gardener of Glixot?”

  “Gardener of…what?” Rage asked. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

  “So, Max, what brings you to Mars?” Altra asked. “You don’t seem like the Scorching Dude type of person.”

  “I’m not,” Rage said. “I’m working. Or trying to. Supposed to be protecting some folks, but the Scorchers’ murderous carnage isn’t helping with that.”

  Altra’s smile faltered.

  “What? Oh, the murderous carnage,” Rage said. “We can talk about something else. So, tell me about you.”

  “No, I have a strong constitution. It’s just that you seemed to be the one perpetrating the murderous carnage,” Altra said. She put a hand on Rage’s wrist. “It does not bother me, I was simply explaining what I saw when I went above to find you.”

  “Right. Okay. Uh, yeah, so someone spiked the water bottles with nanites and all the Scorchers are killing each other when they aren’t trying to kill me,” Rage said.

  “Spiked the bottles? Who would do such an awful thing?” Altra asked.

  “Nargle Boof is what I was told,” Rage said. “Heard of him?”

  “The famed cook and outlaw?” Altra asked. “I have heard of him. Not a good pig at all.”

  “Nope,” Rage said. Then he paused and narrowed his eyes. “Wait. You came looking for me?”

  Altra blushed and glanced away. Then she looked back at Rage and batted her eyes.

  “How embarrassing,” Altra said. “I can promise I’m not a stalker. I just wanted to meet the Gardener of Glixot. Word spread you were above and I had to come see for myself. It is a good thing I did, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah. I think,” Rage said.

  Rage set his tea down, but didn’t break eye contact with Altra. He stood up and held out a hand.

  “How would you feel about me taking you to your bedroom and getting to know the part of you strictly for pleasure?” Rage asked.

  Altra took his hand and let herself be pulled upright.

  “I would feel it would be my honor, Max,” she said.

  Then they raced to the bedroom.

  Twenty-Seven

  While one of Altra’s holes was strictly for pleasure, that didn’t stop her and Rage from using the rest.

  And with four arms of her own, each with five fingers, Altra had a few digits to share with Rage’s holes.

  Sated, sweaty, and close to sound asleep, Rage rested in the massive bed, Altra draped across his body.

  “I have some friends you should meet,” Altra said just as Rage was drifting off. The lavender smell was so soothing.

  “What’s that?” Rage mumbled.

  “I said I have some friends you should meet,” Altra said. “We’re having a get-together tonight at the beer hall. I’d like you to come.”

  “Beer hall? I like beer halls,” Rage said. “Where is it? Up top?”

  “Oh, no, we rarely go above,” Altra said. “We have a grand beer hall down here.
”

  “Hmmm. Sounds nice,” Rage said. A quick thought flitted through his brain. It seemed important, so he voiced it. “Where is here? Where are we?”

  “In one of the many subterranean levels of Mars. They go down for miles and miles,” Altra said. “This level is ours.”

  “Ours? You and your friends?”

  “Yes. Ours.”

  “Are these friends like you?”

  “Yes. They are like me.”

  “Exactly like you? All ladies like you?” Rage asked and ran a hand across Altra’s back and down to her ass. “Is this a nude beer hall?”

  “My kind do not wear clothes,” Altra said. “And all ladies.”

  “Nice,” Rage replied with a sleepy grin. “Yeah, sure. Meeting your friends in a beer hall sounds like a damn fine way to spend an evening.”

  Rage yawned wide.

  “Any chance we can sleep first? A little cat nap?” Rage asked. “I’m so tired.”

  “Of course, Max. You will need your rest for later,” Altra said. “I’ll tell my friends you are joining us. I’ll return shortly.”

  “How you gonna tell them?” rage asked. “Shout through the ground?”

  Altra had pushed up and away from him. She gave Rage a curious look then shook her head.

  “No, I’ll use a comm system like the rest of the universe does,” she said then crawled out of the bedroom.

  Rage’s sleepy grin grew as he watched her backside disappear through the square door. Another important thought flitted through his brain. Something about comms. He liked comms. They helped him talk to people. Especially people he was working with.

  A stab of alarm cut through Rage’s sleepy thoughts, but the stab wasn’t painful enough for him to react appropriately. He was Max Rage. No stabbing thought could harm him. He’d heal fast from any and all stabbing thoughts. Who did they think they were? Stupid stabbing thoughts…