Breakdown (Crash into Me)

by Amanda Lance

  “Yeah.” Like her, I glanced up towards the skylight, admiring how dark the clouds were. For an instant, I considered texting William and asking him what he thought of it, but then I remembered he hadn’t texted me in nearly a week and my heart sank. “It’s too bad.”

  “Either way, though, I’m glad you called.” She stopped and sighed again, running her hand over a display of scarves at a kiosk. “I’ve had my head in the books all day and really needed a break.”

  “Yeah,” I admitted. “I did too.”

  “You said you were a business major, right?” She scoffed and looked away. “I’m surprised you don’t fall asleep every time you go to study.”

  I shrugged and followed her into a store that blasted heavy metal music. “Yeah, sometimes I do, but I’ve applied for some culinary school…”

  “Oh yeah?” Interested for the first time, Tabby looked up from a rack of clothes with one of her eyebrows straight up. “Billy says you’re a crazy good pastry chef.”

  I dropped the hanger in my hand, floundering to pick it up before anyone else in the store noticed. “H-he does?”

  Tabby just laughed. “Billy talks about you constantly.”

  “What?” I shoved the clothes on the rack away from me and stared. “Are you screwing with me?”

  Grinning like a Cheshire cat, Tabby abandoned the rack of clothes and went for a shelf of half sweaters. “I know that you live in a big house, I know that your parents are assholes, I know that purple is your favorite color—” She cited each fact with one of her fingers as if trying to recite them from memory.

  It had never occurred to me before that William talked about me with his friends. Now that I knew he did, however, I felt flattered. “Wow, I never thought…” I shook my head of it. “Really?”

  She scoffed before refocusing her attention on a display of colorful wigs. “Are you kidding? He came over the other day beside himself and all flustered. I don’t know what you did to get him all riled up, but Eggs finally gave up trying to calm him down and eventually just poured him a drink.”

  The last time I had seen William had been the night of our kiss. Why, however, that made him so upset I still didn’t understand.

  “What did he talk about?” I asked.

  Tabby shrugged. “Eggs kind of shooed me out of the room, but I did hear something about his sister and mistakes—”

  I cut her off with a pull on her arm. “His sister? Which one?”

  “The oldest one I think, Bridget? Eggs told me she threw herself off a clock tower because of some guy who didn’t want her.”

  So William had a sister who committed suicide, a sister named Bridget who had chosen to take the flight off a clock tower instead of a bridge that overlooked concrete. Maybe she too was trying to die in a passive aggressive way, to be ironic when she ended herself. Vaguely, I wondered if she had left a note.

  More than that, I wondered if William looked at me and thought of her.

  I knew I had to see him, knew I would try even if William didn’t want to see me. At the root of my heart I had a hard time believing that he wouldn’t. Even if I did nothing but make him feel obligation and brotherly love, I wanted to hear it from his own mouth. I deserved that much closure and I knew it.

  During the day, the garage looked considerably different. Instead of the show room being open, the mechanical metal wall was closed off so that I could only get in from the back via the employee entrance. There, bright yellow barrels and dirty toolboxes were lined up against the wall, easily seen under the hum of fluorescent lights. Cars suspended in mid-air by lifts also seemed to hum, why, exactly, I had no idea. On a ladder, boot heavy feet moved up and down. Behind bright welding sparks, I thought I saw some movement, but couldn’t be sure. I clutched at the Tupperware in my hands. Cupcakes? What was I thinking? Still, they somehow seemed less juvenile than cookies shaped like cars, and without baked goods as a crutch I wasn’t sure I had a legitimate reason to be there at all.

  “Is that you, Jumper?”

  “Oh.” I waved awkwardly before putting my hand back on the Tupperware. “Hey, Cosmo.”

  He appeared from around the corner, dirty faced and wearing a jumpsuit similar to the one I saw William wearing when he came to visit me at work.

  “Car trouble?” He looked past me, as if unsure of something. “We’re really busy today. But if you want to just pull it around—”

  “Um, my car is actually okay.” I held the Tupperware so tight my hands started to sweat. Why hadn’t I thought about bringing my car in for a tire rotation or an oil change? Still, it was too late to go back now, at least with my car parked half a block down the street. “Is Billy here?” I gestured to the container in my hands and blew the air out of my cheeks. “I brought food for you guys.”

  “Sure,” Cosmo said without hesitation. “He’s in the back somewhere. I’ll just grab him.”

  I smiled my thanks and waited until his back was turned before I cursed at myself and rethought my decision. What if William and all those other mechanics were back there laughing at me? What if he came out here and told me to piss off? What if he wouldn’t even see me at all?

  But William appeared before I could follow through with running back to my car. Wearing his jumpsuit with a welder’s mask fastened to his forehead, his face was a lot cleaner than I imagined it would be. Smiling for an instant, he removed the mask and made the rest of the way down the ladder. Briefly, I wondered if I should have told him about the indent it left behind, but decided it made me smile too much to risk him rubbing it away.

  “Hey,” he said.

  I held my Tupperware in front of me defensively, a shield against an insult or possible self-destruction.

  “Hi.”

  “What are you doing here? Is your car okay?”

  I considered reminding him that he had been the one who had kissed me, and that I hadn’t heard from him in a week, but I had already decided on the way there that a more subtle offensive would be better.

  “You’re allowed to bother me at work, but I’m not allowed to harass you?”

  From beneath his mess of hair, he looked up at me before taking off, the large working gloves that barely seemed to cover his hands. Even after he took them off however, he held them in his hands. Like me with my Tupperware, it seemed he tried to wring the life from them.

  “I would have called you back. I’ve just been busy…”

  I let him trail off, unsurprised to hear his answer, but wished he was saying more. “Busy. Sure.”

  “I mean it,” he said defensively. “I-I picked up the phone a dozen times.” Again he clenched the gloves in his hands, even glanced at the welder’s mask like it could give him some kind of answer. “Guess I was just being a coward.”

  Being a coward? Did he mean that he wanted to breakup our friendship formally but was afraid of hurting my feelings?

  “What do you mean? I—”

  “Hey, lovebirds!” Cosmo’s squeaky voice called out from the other side of the garage. “Are you sharing those things or what? We’re starving up here!”

  Glancing up in the direction of his voice, I saw what looked like an office on the second floor of the garage. Just beyond the grease stained blind, two sets of eyes looked out at us, smiling.

  “No privacy around here.” William smiled apologetically and pointed to the upstairs office. “A-are those for me?”

  “Well,” I said, trying to smile. “Not just for you.”

  Finally, he grinned and my stomach and heart flipped simultaneously. “Shall we?”

  Neither of us addressed the lovebird comment, nor did we make eye contact, though I did notice how close he walked next to me. Sliding his arm around my waist, it seemed he made a deliberate effort not to touch me as he guided me to the office.

  “Thank God.” Eggs reached over an empty pizza box and the half-dead plant on the desk when he saw me, nearly knocking both of them over but not bothering to apologize before he grabbed the Tupperware from my h
ands. I hoped none of them would notice how my sweaty hands had left imprints, but judging by the way Eggs and Cosmo dove right in, I didn’t think they would have cared.

  For a few solid seconds, I watched while they devoured the desserts in the box without the slightest regard. I felt as though I was watching something on a nature channel, hearing in my head the narrator with the loveable accent dictating every action.

  “And herd we watch while the elusive Cosmo devours the innocent cupcake. This primal creature seems to be totally unaware that he just ate half a wrapper and continues his attack on the remainder of the cupcake herd.”

  I smiled as William pulled up two chairs for us, smiling even harder when I saw him switch out the dirty one he gave me for the cleaner one.

  “We worked through lunch,” William explained. For a brief instant when he walked past me I got the sense that he was nervous, but why, I couldn’t figure out. “Trying to get out of here early…”

  Though he trailed of, Eggs took the cue to interrupt him, speaking even with a mouth full of red velvet. “I’m still not sure about this job, Billy.”

  Cosmo nudged him violently, causing a flux of cupcake crumbs to fly out of Eggs’ mouth while he coughed.

  “What?” he questioned still coughing. Wild eyed, Eggs pounded on his chest with his fist, trying to regain his breath. “It’s not like she doesn’t know! Billy told me he told her everything.” He took a long swig out of a soda can and paled. “You did, didn’t you, Billy?”

  As if on cue, we all looked at William then, who was sulking quietly in the corner. His expression suggested he was going to wail on Eggs the first chance he got.

  “Yeah, but—”

  Eggs just cut him off and looked to me. “And you’re cool, right? Tabby says you’re pretty cool, and she isn’t right about a lot, but she knows people.”

  “And animal patterns.”

  Once again, William was the only one who understood the joke.

  “Sure.” I sighed. “I’m cool.”

  William smiled, but shook his head as he looked away. Was he still angry with me? Should I have left? I stared at the wall calendar of bikini clad women instead.

  Eggs smiled at me with crooked teeth. “Then maybe you can help us out, Jumper.”

  From his corner, William spoke up. “No.”

  “A fresh set of eyes on the situation wouldn’t hurt, Billy,” Cosmo added.

  “No. Goddamn. Way.” William crossed his arms over himself and looked away. I’ll admit, however, that I was torn. I didn’t want William anymore angry at me than he already was, but I was almost as eager to help gain favor by helping his friends.

  “I’d be willing to help—if I can,” I was quick to add.

  “Okay, Jumper, so it goes like this; we were supposed to do a job tonight, a standard snatch and grab. No big deal.”

  I leaned forward on the desk not taking a second glance at the potential stains it would leave on my blouse or how I might have looked. Just talk of stealing again was enough to get my engine revved.

  “But it turns out this thing is going to have extra security,” Cosmo said.

  Eggs completed the thought. “Two or three people we didn’t anticipate trolling the parking lot for trouble.”

  “This thing?” I ignored the deadly glare William was giving them. Just because he wasn’t happy about me having details didn’t mean I was going to let him rain on my fun. “What kind of thing?”

  Eggs piped up without hesitation. “A wedding.”

  “Some senator’s granddaughter,” Cosmo added.

  I giggled to myself, but immediate stuck my thumbnail in my mouth to bite on. Were Eggs and Cosmo even aware that they finished each other sentences or were they so used to it they just didn’t notice?

  “I heard about that” I nodded seriously and tried to redeem myself as an adult. “The groom is running for mayor somewhere, right?”

  Eggs nodded. “In Orange County, which means a guest list filled with politicians, industry types—”

  Again, they finished each other’s thoughts. “C-list celebrities.”

  “We were thinking about bringing a piece—”

  “No.” It was the first time William had spoken up since the explanation had begun. “No guns.”

  “Well, then, how are we going to get the wheels and keep the civilians rounded up? We just tie them up—”

  William pressed his lips together in a thin line. “All it would take is one security guard who can untie knots or a valet with a black belt to screw us. Besides, what if one of those guards drops dead of a heart attack while we have a gun to his head? Any of you want to be on trial for manslaughter?”

  Eggs and Cosmo looked at each other and shrugged. I might have thought that was funny too if I hadn’t been so fascinated by the strange display of anger William was showing me now. As strange as it was to me though, the guys seemed to be used to it, clueless even as Cosmo rocked back and forth in the desk chair and Eggs licked a cupcake wrapper clean.

  “I agree,” I said eventually, summoning all my courage to form an answer. “Guns are never a good idea.”

  “Sure.” Cosmo rolled his eyes. “You’d take his side.”

  William opened his mouth to defend me, but I was there first, ready to put my point into action.

  “Guns don’t do anything but hurt or scare people. If all you’re trying to do is steal from these people, then you don’t need guns.”

  “Okay.” Cosmo sighed dramatically. “What do you suggest then, Jumper?”

  “Well…” I gripped the arms of my chair. “Let me hear what other suggestions you guys have come up with.”

  “See,” Cosmo said eagerly. “I was thinking we’d get there early. The hotel staff all drinks out of the same coffee pot so we could just throw a little something in there to give them a stomach ache—”

  “Poison a bunch of people who are probably only earning minimum wage as it is?” I shook my head disapprovingly. “Not okay.”

  Cosmo threw up his hands. “It’s better than a bullet!”

  Laughing, I glanced up to the corner of my eye. From a shelf of side-view mirrors I could see William’s tense expression staring back at me. Off the top of my head I couldn’t ever remember having seen his sense of humor substituted for anger. Nevertheless, when he realized I was looking back at him, his expression softened. And though I couldn’t quite see his entire face, I thought I saw a sad smile emerge.

  The sound of bratatat pulled me away from those late summer eyes of his just in time to see Eggs shoot at Cosmo with a finger gun. Cosmo grabbed his arms and chest dramatically, letting his head fall to the desk with dead weight. Watching their display of childish behavior made me laugh, but I had to credit them with the fact that it was entertaining enough to pull my attention away from William.

  “W-what if I knew a way you guys could get in and out of there without hurting anyone?”

  I saw my reflection in the mirror and smiled.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Getting into the wedding reception was the easiest part. With over two-hundred guests, Tabby and I snuck in easily, squeaking in between the senior citizens with their canes and the already juiced bridal party. Still, I kept my head down and let The Rush sink in. The zooming wave of energy was what had gotten me that far, had gotten me into the much too short cocktail dress and had me reassuring William a few dozen times that I really was comfortable following through with all of this.

  Admittedly, despite The Rush, I still questioned myself. What if I was doing this for all the wrong reasons? It was true I wanted to help my friends, to help William in any way I could, though he had made it very clear he disapproved of my idea. Unfortunately for him, he was outvoted. Eggs and Cosmo both thought my plan was genius, spouting that if my name wasn’t Jumper it would have been Mastermind.

  Regardless of what they thought, I wanted to do this for me too. Even if I later chalked it up to a folly of my youth later on—a revenge on the one percent—I w
anted it. Anyway, if I got caught, that’s what I planned on telling the police, that it had been my form of rebelling, of getting back at my indifferent parents. If the adrenaline wasn’t hitting me too hard, maybe I could make myself cry, sob uncontrollably until I made the police uncomfortable enough to send me home with a slap of the wrist.

  It was difficult to think about that, however, to think about what I would do if my parents ever found out about what I was doing. And while the idea of my mother running out to the police station in nothing but her overpriced pajamas made me giddy, I didn’t have the luxury to think about that, about any of it. I focused on what I was supposed to do and did my best to ignore the lasting glances from the male waiting staff and one too many old men.

  “Don’t worry,” Tabby whispered at me. “As long as they keep their hands to themselves we should be fine.”

  Naturally, I had borrowed the dress from Tabby. It was too revealing for my taste, especially after she hemmed it for my height. But as naked as I felt, I was constantly assured that I looked amazing. Since Tabby knew more about that stuff than I did, I tried to put my faith in her. The stretchy black lace of the dress itself had a raised floral pattern, which I did like a great deal. The plunging V neckline with the mirrored V back however, not so much. Tabby constantly reminded me that the tube fitted skirt looked fabulous on me. And how did I stay so in shape surrounded by baked goods all day? At least her job forced her to be active…

  “How long do we have to mingle for?”

  I steadied myself against a wall. Forget about heels, this dress alone was impossible. Why didn’t I just wear flats? “Long enough to get noticed, but not long enough to make a spectacle of ourselves.”

  Tabby laughed and tugged at my elbow just enough to make me stumble. “Oh, honey, I don’t think getting noticed will be a problem.”

  Given the looks we were both giving and the rush that dove its way into me, I was inclined to believe her. Combined with Tabby’s makeup technique and the professional looking job she had done on my hair, I was receiving just as many winks and lengthy stares as she was. I ignored all of them and stay focused on my task, sure that if I remained diligent enough nothing would go wrong.