Shadow Soul

by R. Michael Card

  Caerwyn still felt her pulse quicken. “This could be a chance for us to finally understand what we are. If we can find this dragon… if it exists… and speak to it. We could…” There were so many possibilities. “We could find out where we came from, and perhaps if it knows of others of our kind. Maybe it knows even more about what we can do than we do! I only had a little time with my true parents, my drahksani parents, and never really got a chance for them to teach me about who I am and what I can do. I’ve had to learn as I go. Like we all have. Think of the opportunity to know—”

  “The truth,” Jais finished. His voice was breathy, awed.

  Volf gave a short laugh. “Here I thought you two would be more… experienced with… whatever it is we are.”

  Caerwyn shrugged. “We’re all learning. Though I suspect we can at least let you know some basic things.” She turned to Jais. “Volf didn’t know what he was. I’ve informed him he’s a drahksan, but perhaps there is more that can be said about that. There is a little I know from my studies.” She turned her gaze back to Volf. “My father, my adoptive father, had a very extensive library.”

  “I would like to know more,” Volf said and despite being a grown man he seemed like nothing so much as a boy in that moment.

  “And I’ll tell you what I can, but first…” She turned to Jais. “What do you say? Shall we go north?”

  Jais shrugged. “On a rumor? I suppose we didn’t have any other place to go.”

  It’s more than rumor. “I’m guessing you can’t feel it, but there’s something up there. Both Volf and I can sense it. It’s different than sensing another drahksani. It’s hard to put into words, but I think maybe this could be what a dragon feels like. I don’t know, but along with the rumor, I think it’s worth investigating.”

  Jais smiled. “I’ll trust you. I don’t feel anything, but I can’t feel you either so…. let’s go north.” After a moment, he added. “I don’t think it would be that much of a problem to bring Elria along with us. We’ll drop her off with her clan, then we’ll be free to look for the dragon and speak as we wish. She did help us. We do owe her.”

  Caerwyn nodded. Jais was right. “I’ll go find her.”

  “If you don’t mind, can I go? I got some rest earlier and I’m… well there’s so much I can still learn from her. I wouldn’t mind talking a little more with her before we’re on the road.”

  Caerwyn nodded. She was curious at Jais’ intensity of interest in the woman. He was more animated and excited than he’d been in a long time. She wondered if there was more of a connection growing between him and the girl, than just a shared ability.

  And what did it matter if there was? She’d made her choice when it came to Jais. She didn’t need or want a man in that way. But still, she felt a little envious that this woman had been the one to bring such joy back into the man’s life.

  Jais sprang up and practically ran to the door. He turned back when he got there. “It was nice to meet you, Volf.” He turned his eyes to her. “I’ll catch up with you later today.”

  She raised her hand to stop him from running out. “I’d like to get moving soon. But I also want to rest. We’ll head out after the noon meal. Let her know if she’s coming with us, she’ll need to be ready by then, as will you.”

  Jais nodded and was out the door.

  Her gaze fell to Volf.

  “When I first sensed you,” Volf said slowly. “I was terrified. You called to me in a way no one ever had… and for a man who had spent most of his life alone, to feel something like that… I didn’t know what to do.” He smiled. “But now I am very glad to have met you. My life has changed forever because of you. I know what I am. Thank you, Caerwyn.” He reached out for her and she found herself taking his hand in hers.

  His rather intense blue eyes looked up at her.

  It occurred to her only then that he wasn’t an unattractive man. He could afford to fill out a little, everything on him seemed over-lean, but with his blond hair and those clear eyes, he had a charming look to him.

  She hadn’t been completely honest with Volf when she’d found him. She wasn’t just trying to find more of her kind. There was still a deep desire within her to have a child. Jais… well things with him were just awkward now and she wouldn’t ask him again. But perhaps now she had options.

  She wasn’t going to rush into anything, she’d just met this man… though she had been willing to propose mating with Jais even before she’d met him. Well she’d learned her lesson there. Taking her time would serve her well. She’d get to know the man then broach that topic later.

  She’d not be so bold as she had been with Jais.

  A stray thought crossed her mind: was she reluctant to approach this man about her child because she still wished to have it with Jais? Was Jais a better match for her than Volf?

  No, that couldn’t be it.

  She’d made her choice about Jais, and he too about her: they were friends and companions.

  Besides, it seemed he’d found someone new already.

  10

  Jais found Elria in the common room of the Setting Sun Inn. She hadn’t gone far.

  She smiled when she saw him and said, “I thought I might wait here to find out where you be going.”

  Jais joined her at a small table. “We’re going north, and you’re more than welcome to come with us.” He was excited, but at his words, there seemed a mix of emotions playing over her features. Mainly she didn’t seem as happy or excited as he would have thought. “Is something wrong?”

  She smiled again, though he wondered if that was just hiding her true feelings. “I have not been home in some time. It will be good to return, but…”

  “What?”

  She shook her head. “It be nothing,” she said and Jais thought that would be it, but she spoke up a moment later. “My father be a hard man. I be liking what I do here.” She shook her head. “But he may be wanting that I do not return to Cold River. Too long have I been away.”

  “You’re a grown woman, you can do as you wish.”

  She shook her head. “That be not the way of our people. We have duties. We are allowed to see some of the world when we are young, but then…” She sighed. “There are so few of us.”

  Jais grimaced. He didn’t have a home to return to, so perhaps that was why he thought to encourage her to stay away. But if he had someone, a family waiting for him, if his uncle had needed someone to take over the hunting when he grew old, he might feel compelled to return.

  “I understand.” He laid a hand on hers.

  She looked up at him and smiled. Cocking her head to one side, she looked into his eyes for a long moment. “Perhaps you do. Though there be other complications you would not understand. My people are… unique.” She seemed to pick that word carefully. “But I thank you. It will be good to be speaking with you more about healing, as we go north.”

  He couldn’t help but smile as he found himself held by her gaze. Something about her, the fall of that fiery hair, or the sparkle in those green eyes, just captivated him. Perhaps it was her smile and the way it rounded her cheeks.

  “Will you be ready to leave by midday? That’s when Caerwyn wants to head out.”

  She nodded. “I have little. I will be ready.” She squeezed his hand. “Thank you again, Jais.”

  She rose and broke the contact, lifting her hand away. He rose as well and watched her exit the inn’s common room.

  He sighed. He wanted to be around Elria more, and he was looking forward to traveling together, but that might make things awkward. He didn’t really know where he stood with Caerwyn. Did she still want a child? He’d told her he wasn’t ready. They were friends certainly, but there was a lot that was unspoken between them, and that made things a little awkward already. Jais didn’t know what adding Elria into the mix would do.

  Perhaps he should have a talk with Caerwyn, but she wasn’t the ‘long talk’ sort of woman, more direct and to the point, which made broaching the s
ubject of talking even harder. He didn’t know what to do. Perhaps she’d approach him?

  He sighed and shrugged and hoped that’s what would happen.

  Maybe there would be time enough on the journey north to figure things out a little more.

  He realized he’d been standing there in the common room gazing at the door for a long moment and took his seat again.

  A serving woman came over asking if he wanted anything. He ordered a meal; he was famished. As he waited for it to come, he laughed a little to himself. All he’d wanted when he’d come into town was a soft bed and he hadn’t really taken advantage of that. He’d rested for only a short while before being healed and staying up the rest of the night talking with Elria.

  It occurred to him that he’d talked more with Elria this past night than he had with Caerwyn in the past month, if you didn’t count his fighting practice with her. Elria was just that much easier to talk to and they had a shared interest and skill.

  Life was complicated, that much he knew, he’d always known. He’d thought it might get better with time and age, but he was finding that it didn’t. It only seemed to get worse.

  He ate his meal when it arrived but tasted little of it. His mind was elsewhere, and his feelings were a jumbled mess tumbling around within him.

  After a little while, Volf came down and joined him, saying that Caerwyn was sleeping. Jais wasn’t in the mood to talk to the tall stranger.

  Volf must have sensed this and after a while stood. “I should collect what little I have,” he said as he rose. “I had never thought to leave this town, and now I will, in the company of those who understand me. Something else I never thought to find.”

  Jais smiled up at him but didn’t really feel that happy. “Glad we could help.”

  Volf nodded to him and left.

  Jais finished his meal but couldn’t go back up to the room now with both beds taken. So he waited, feeling more and more anxious to be on the road. He went out and checked their donkey and wagon. All was in order there.

  Even if his life wasn’t.

  Gosse didn’t know how he knew, but he knew: his prey was gone.

  He’d left the mercenaries outside; he didn’t want to alarm anyone in the common room of the Setting Sun. He made his way to the Innkeeper, a matronly woman working at one of the hearths.

  “Pardon me,” he said with force. “Innkeeper?”

  The woman turned and looked at him. She sprouted a smile. “Yes? How can I help you? Do you need a meal? A room?”

  He shook his head and lowered his voice. He hadn’t seen any of his prey in the common room, but that didn’t mean that others might not be listening. “I’m looking for friends of mine who are staying here, I believe. Two men and a woman. They would have stood out: one of the men has dark skin and the woman carries a sword. Do you know them?”

  The innkeeper nodded. “Indeed I do, but you missed them by a half a day. They left around noon.”

  Gosse put on a disappointed face. It wasn’t much of an act. He was disappointed, but he was trying to appear to be a friend not a foe. “That’s unfortunate. You didn’t happen to overhear where they might be heading. I would love to catch up and travel with them if I could.”

  The woman considered. Even as she did, another younger serving girl stepped up. “Pardon,” she said to the innkeeper, “I didn’t mean to overhear, but if you were wondering where that odd group was going, I think it was north. I heard them talking to others about it over breakfast.”

  “North?” That was odd. What was north of here? The only thing Gosse had seen north of here was mountains. “What is north of here?” He figured it didn’t hurt to ask.

  “There are the Dronnegir. Strange folk who mostly keep to themselves,” the matron said.

  The younger woman piped in with more useful information. “One of them was speaking with that Dronnegir healer in town. I think she might have traveled with them.”

  Gosse smiled. “Thank you, that is very good to know.” The girl blushed and bobbed a curtsey and scuttled off to her duties. Gosse turned to the woman. “Thank you. I’m in your debt.” He tossed a few coins on the counter with a grin and left.

  Outside, in a dark alley his vicious companions waited.

  “Well?” Dathgar asked.

  Gosse shook his head. “They’ve left, probably trying to keep ahead of me. Are we up for a little travel?”

  “For what you’re paying us, we’ll travel as far as you need. Where are we heading?”

  “North.”

  Dathgar shrugged. “Not much up there but mountains and barbarians. Seems a strange choice, but we’ll go where you want. We’ll need a bit to gather supplies though. We’ll meet at the west gate at the call of the midnight watch.”

  “Will there be issues with the gate’s man?” Gosse asked.

  “Nothing a little gold won’t make go away.”

  Gosse nodded. “I’ll meet you there.” He left, glad to be out from under the glare of Tyark and Gerhardt. He still had a very uneasy feeling about those two.

  As he retrieved his own meager things — he liked to travel light — he considered the strange feeling he’d had most of the day.

  Somehow, he’d known the prey would be at the inn. Also, just as odd, he’d known they’d headed north. He’d always had an uncanny knack for tracking down his prey. He set himself a direction and would pick up their trail soon enough. He’d been eluded a few times in his youth, but now that he’d been doing this for fifty years, he had a good sense for things.

  He’d never questioned it before, but now he wondered. His training as a dragon hunter had been extensive and he’d learned from one of the best, a legend, the notorious Elvar Siroc. He’d always thought that his ability to find his prey was because of that training, but if so, how did training make him aware that his prey had fled when he hadn’t even started to investigate? He’d been more and more aware recently of his ‘gut’ feelings and how he followed them without thinking. They’d never led him wrong.

  As he packed his saddlebags, a solution came to him.

  It had to be his experience. After years of tracking down dragonborn, he’d gotten so good, that he just knew things. He had gotten to know their patterns of behavior so well that he knew what they did even as they did it.

  Of course they would head north, there was nothing in that direction. It didn’t make sense to go north, and if they were trying to throw him off their tracks, then it made perfect sense to do what seemed illogical.

  He grinned to himself, glad he’d worked out his thoughts.

  He wouldn’t question his gut again. It was only his great experience telling him what he would have found out if he looked into it anyway.

  His grin widened. He knew his prey too well. They would never escape him. They were already dead… they just didn’t know it yet.

  11

  Caerwyn woke early but lingered on her bedroll, lying down as she watched the sun rise over the low mountains to the east.

  There were mountains all around them now, though those to the east and west were much farther away. Those to the north loomed higher and higher every day.

  They’d been on the road for nearly two weeks, heading north. Even though it was still mid-summer, the temperature had been growing cooler. Not only were they heading straight north, but higher and higher into the foothills of the Thyrgran Mountains. She hadn’t needed a blanket to sleep when they’d left Cold River. She did now.

  Once the sun was fully up, she sat and stretched herself out a little. She rose to go kick Jais for his morning training, but before she did, she got a sense that something wasn’t right. Something in her periphery.

  She looked around and spotted it quickly. Elria was missing.

  She kicked Jais, kneeling next to him as he roused. Something about this didn’t sit right with her. She’d been feeling a bit of an itch she couldn’t scratch at the base of her neck these past couple days and now it was getting worse. She kept her voice low lo
oking around as she spoke.

  “Do you know where Elria is?”

  Jais sniffed, then perhaps as the question sank in, he perked up quickly. “She’s gone?”

  Caerwyn didn’t answer but let him see for himself. Instead, she just said, “She wasn’t there when I woke up.”

  “She could just be off relieving herself or…” He looked around intently.

  “I don’t think so, and I don’t think you do either. All of her things are gone.”

  Jais was crouching next to her now peering into the long shadows of the new day. “Yesterday she said we were getting closer to her village. She might have… I don’t know… gone ahead for some reason?”

  “But why? And why wouldn’t she say something before leaving? Something’s wrong. I can feel it.”

  Jais seemed to disregard her apprehension. “I don’t think there is anything amiss. She probably just wanted to get a start on the day and see her family. In some ways this makes our trek easier now, doesn’t it? We don’t have to talk in secret about what we are anymore.”

  She shrugged. “I suppose. But—” Caerwyn cut herself off. She was just repeating herself now.

  “I know. I thought she’d at least say good-bye, but maybe this is where our paths fork.”

  Caerwyn rose slowly, still not feeling at ease. She couldn’t help a bit of a jab at Jais. “You seemed to be getting quite close to her. Did you want her to leave?” She wasn’t looking at him, still scanning the area around them.

  “I…” He let out a long sigh. “If I’m honest, I don’t know. She was nice company, and I was learning a lot about healing. Didn’t you find her pleasant?”

  The woman had been good company, never complaining or shirking work. She didn’t want to tell him that though. She just grunted.

  “Fine, don’t talk.” Jais rose and stalked away. His voice had been hard, hurt.

  She didn’t know what she’d done. Somehow, he’d turned her accusation of him into one against her.