Shadow Soul
Page 26
Volf.
He stopped about ten feet behind her. She’d let him announce himself.
“Caer?”
He’d taken to using the short form, and in truth she didn’t care that much. Jais used it too. Yet she wasn’t sure she felt that close to either of them anymore. How close could a person get to another person without a heart? Hers was cold.
“Yes.”
“I’d been meaning to ask you… can you feel the others?”
She sighed.
She could. She’d been wondering how long it would take before Volf asked about them. Apparently, that time was now.
“Yes.”
“To the south?”
She let out a bitter laugh. “Everything is south of here.”
He laughed a little as well. “Yes, I suppose…”
She finally turned to look at the man. “You want to go find them?”
“Isn’t that what you and Jais were doing? Finding other drahksani? Isn’t that why… how you found me?”
Yes, that had been what they were doing, but she didn’t really know what she was doing anymore. She nodded to his questions and let out a long breath. “We should seek them out.”
His face darkened, all frown and furrows. “Is that what you want?”
I don’t know what I want. Yet instead of saying that, she tried to sound more positive when she said, “Yes. I’m just…” She smiled and hoped it looked genuine. “I need a little time to get back to being me.” That’s what she’d been telling people. They seemed to accept it, but in truth, she didn’t think she’d ever be back to her old self.
He smiled. “Good. When shall we leave?”
She picked a date. “Tomorrow, first thing?”
He nodded, his smile widening.
She could imagine his thoughts, look how decisive she’s being, perhaps she’s recovering! He was a bit of an optimist. But it wasn’t really decisiveness, more a need to give him what he wanted so he’d leave her alone again.
He nodded a goodbye. “I’ll go tell Jais.”
He left, deftly and lightly moving down the side of the sloped, grass-covered roof.
She turned back to the mountain vista.
She knew that Volf was interested in her. She also suspected that Jais would turn his attentions back to her now that Elria was gone. She didn’t much care.
Her desire to have a child was gone. It had been a part of the old her. This new incarnation didn’t want to have to take care of anyone. That would require her to care.
And right now… she didn’t.
Volf was smiling as he entered their long-hall and found Jais.
“We’re leaving first thing tomorrow.”
“Oh?” Jais looked up, seemingly distracted. He shook his head and looked at Volf. “Why?”
“Caer and I have been sensing other drahksani to the south. We figure it’s about time we moved on and found more of our kind.” He shrugged. “Perhaps they can help you figure out who you are?”
“Perhaps.” Jais seemed to fall into another stupor, but a moment later shook his head again. He’d been doing that a lot. “I’ll be ready first thing tomorrow.”
“Good,” Volf said. He turned and left, something about being around the man brought him down. He didn’t blame the man for feeling lousy after the loss of a loved one, but that didn’t mean Volf had to be nearby and feel bad as well.
He walked back out into the sun of the day and took a deep breath. They’d be on the move again soon and that thought cheered him up. Even speaking with Caerwyn a moment ago, she’d seemed a bit more certain and happy than she had in the past few days. Perhaps she was getting over the horrors they’d all faced.
That brought a flash to Volf’s mind, the sensation of stabbing the wizard. He shuddered as the thought fled, but it had shattered his happy mood.
He forced a grin.
He’d have to get used to fighting. He was out in the world now and there were dangers all around him. He’d need to be prepared for the next one. He’d need to know how to fight.
He told himself he could handle it. That the next time it wouldn’t be so bad.
Mostly he told himself that anything was worth it to be near Caerwyn. She was still the most wondrous and fascinating woman he’d ever met. She was so strong. Well she had been, and would be again, he was sure.
He had faith.
Jais had few belongings, but he stuffed what he had into his pack and closed it.
It was morning. The sun just up over the mountains.
A week had passed since the funeral, and they were leaving… without Barami. That had come as a surprise, which it shouldn’t have. In truth, Jais had to wonder: if Elria had lived, would he be leaving?
He stopped what he was doing. It was a question which had plagued him for several days, even if it was entirely hypothetical. He honestly didn’t know. At the funeral, he’d professed his love for the Dronnegir woman, but there was still so much he didn’t know about… so many things. Chief among those things was who he really was.
Caerwyn and Volf had talked to the dragon and uncovered their abilities. He had his father’s sword and the spirit within it, but…
The earth shaking he’d done to throw those Dronnegir off him during the fight with the wizard, that had come out of the blue, a complete surprise to him. He wasn’t even sure if he could repeat it. He didn’t even know what had happened, really.
So much he didn’t know.
Elria’s father had said that when he’d gone to get her body he’d seen and touched the egg. The villagers would be sending people up to the cave regularly to check on it. There was hope here now. They still had a dragon to protect. They had been doing it for so long, they wouldn’t know who they were without a dragon nearby to keep safe.
Jais considered staying until the dragon hatched, but he didn’t know how long it might be until then, or even if the new dragon would be able to help him.
Jais shook off his ruminations and finished tying his bedroll to his pack.
He’d found out why no one had been around when he’d woken, why their stuff was somewhere else. Barami was staying with Hildr now, and Caerwyn had wanted to be alone, off by herself, so she’d claimed a section of the hall much farther down. Volf had moved his things closer to hers, while still giving her room to be ‘alone.’
Jais sat on the edge of the platform, his pack over one shoulder.
So much had happened recently.
Too much.
They’d met Volf only a couple of weeks ago. Then there was Gosse, the conflicted dragon-hunter-turned-drahksan. In the end, he had been a good man, had sacrificed himself to help those he’d once hunted.
Was that all that mattered? Who they were in the end?
Elria had faced her death fighting as much as she could, and Gosse had died freeing drahksani. Perhaps that was all that mattered?
So, who did Jais want to be in the end?
He still didn’t know.
Would it make any difference if he knew who he was and what he could do?
He shook his head. He wasn’t going to figure out anything today sitting here. He took a look around this strange hall that had been his home for a short period.
He had no true home now, so everywhere he went he had to make his home while he was there. This would have been just as good as any.
He sighed and left the hall.
Volf and Caerwyn were waiting for him by the gates to the village. Barami and Hildr were there too, as well as a few others, Elria’s father among them.
Jais had been spending time with the large man, learning about the woman he’d loved. Everything he learned told him he would have been happy with her. He’d be leaving a part of his heart here.
Yes, this would have been a good home, but for now, he was left to seek for more in his life.
He said his goodbyes.
Elria’s father bound him up in a great bear hug and told him he was welcome any time.
Barami shook
his hand and they shared a knowing look.
“I’ll look after her,” Jais said softly to the dark-skinned warrior.
Barami nodded. “Thank you. She is still…”
“I know.”
Jais knew how the man had felt about Caerwyn and what it must have been like to leave her now after knowing her most of his life. Yet he wished the man well. Barami had found something precious and was holding it tightly.
“You take care of yourself. Have some kids. Relax,” Jais said trying to find some lightness in his heart. He could not find much, and in the end, hoped he hid his envy for the other man.
Barami grinned. “Hildr wants a large family, many children.”
“Well, hopefully you’ll be a father of a few by the time we return.”
“I wouldn’t know what to do with children!” Barami looked more afraid at the concept of being a father than he had facing any monster or man. “And for you. I hope you find what you are looking for.”
Jais nodded. “Thanks, me too.”
The others had said their farewells, and the day was young.
They began their trek down the hill, away from the Dronnegir village, southward to find more of their kind.
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Other Books by R. Michael Card
BLOOD OF DRAGONS
Book 1: Soul Seeking
Book 2: Shadow Soul
The King’s Outlaw
GUARDIANS OF LIGHT
Book 1: The Last Scion
Book 2: Scion Rising
Book 3: Scion’s Sacrifice
TALES OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS
The Goblin King
The Swordmaster’s Apprentice
About R. Michael Card
R. Michael Card has loved fantasy since he read his first Dragon Lance book so many years ago. He has been writing for twenty years but has only recently decided to start sharing his work with the world. He has always enjoyed the lighter side of epic fantasy, the grand adventure, and has infused that love into his works.
He lives near Toronto, Ontario with his beloved wife and their cat. He has had a plethora of careers, working in software, insurance, trades, and education, with jobs ranging from washing cars to career counseling.