by Liz Isaacson
“I haven’t seen you in forever,” she said. “I feel like I missed something.”
“Me too,” Sissy said. “And I’ve been around.”
Kirsten gave her a stern glare but continued into the kitchen. “Not Scooter’s.”
“Well, I don’t need Scooter’s now that I’m dating Dave.”
“So this isn’t about Dave?”
Before Sissy could answer, the doorbell rang again, and the door opened without her touching it. Clara and Hailey came bustling in, Hailey with oven mitts on as she carried a cake pan that didn’t hold cake.
The salty, creamy, spicy scent that met Sissy’s nose meant it was her hot chicken chile dip—also perfect for chips. Clara carried two more bags, as well as a huge glass measuring bowl of homemade salsa.
She handed it to Sissy with the words, “From my mother, who keeps asking me when I’m going to find a nice cowboy like you have. Anyone up at that ranch single?”
Sissy thought through the men at Last Chance Ranch. There were plenty of single men up there, and she said, “Definitely.”
“I’d like an invite to something,” Clara said with arched eyebrows as she sat at the bar. “You guys didn’t start without us, did you?”
“Nope,” Kirsten said. “I had just asked her if this was really about Dave and not her mother when you came in.”
All three women looked at Sissy for the answer. “Guys, it’s not about Dave. If it were, I would’ve said that.” She ripped open a bag of chips and eyed her friends. “What? You think I’d lure you here under false pretenses?” She glanced at the guac. “Maybe for that.”
They all laughed, and Sissy sobered first. “No, I had a crash and burn moment last night, and I ended up calling my mom. I’m going to visit her on Thursday.” She dipped a chip in the guacamole, the scent of avocado and lemon hitting her nose and making her mouth water.
“I haven’t seen her in a decade.” Sissy put the chip in her mouth while her friends stared.
“You’ve never said that,” Kirsten said at the same time Clara said, “I can’t go ten minutes without talking to my mom.”
“Guys,” Hailey said. “Let’s think about this while we load up our plates. Then I’m sure we’ll have some really great advice for Sissy.” She nodded like that was that, and sure enough, they all grabbed plates and started piling on the various dips.
Sissy could only hope and pray that they’d have something she could use to get through the visit.
Scratch that. She didn’t want to hope for things she had no control over.
So she just prayed.
Chapter 14
Dave’s nerves assaulted him all day on Thursday, because he knew Sissy wouldn’t be in her office. She wasn’t on the ranch at all, and it felt…different without her there. She’d texted him a picture of the beach a couple of hours ago, claiming she’d already made it to San Diego.
He wasn’t sure if that was true, because she’d have had to miss all the traffic between the ranch and the beach, and she had to go through LA. So missing traffic was impossible.
Maybe she’d left earlier than he’d thought. He didn’t know. What he did know was that something had changed a couple of nights ago while he dozed on her couch. When he’d awakened, she’d been gone, all the vegetables for the salad still sitting on the counter.
She’d covered her distress nicely, and Dave didn’t like that either. He tried not to think about it too much. After all, Sissy was extraordinarily gifted at saying what was on her mind, and she’d never really held back with him before.
A text from Karla came in that said, Lunch at the homestead, noon – 2. Come whenever.
His stomach growled, though it was barely ten-thirty.
“Yes,” Cache said as if he’d just scored the game-winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. “Lunch at the homestead,” he called throughout the barn as if every cowboy there didn’t also get the same message from Karla.
He met Dave’s eye, that goofy smile on his face, and then ducked his head a moment later. Oh, he definitely had something going on with Karla, but Dave had never brought it up at band practice again.
Their set at Finer Diner had gone well, and Cache had been bent on getting them more gigs. Why he cared, Dave wasn’t sure. He knew he wasn’t going to be a famous country music star.
“Hey,” he said to the other cowboy. “You’re still okay to take my chores this weekend? It’s the first weekend of the month.”
“A-okay,” Cache said. “And we’re doing practice tonight, right?”
“That’s right,” Dave said. “Did you hear on that city picnic?”
“They were booked,” Cache said, measuring out the exact right bit of medicine he needed for one of the horses.
“Too bad,” Dave said, but he didn’t really think so. “I’ll let Scarlett know you’re doing my stuff. You get a bonus.”
“I’m aware,” Cache said, glancing up. His whole demeanor changed, and Dave saw something there he hadn’t seen before. He had no idea what it was, but Cache added, “Thanks for asking me first, Dave.”
“Sure thing,” he said, peering closer to Cache. “Everything okay?”
“Yep.” He went back to the medicines he needed to get out before lunch. “Can you believe Gina’s letting me do the meds?”
“She trusts you,” Dave said. “She can’t be everywhere at once.” He felt bad for the large animal care vet, as Gina had dozens and dozens of horses, llamas, pigs, and more to deal with. Some with very specific medical needs. “And I heard she’s doing a surgery on a horse down in the valley today.”
“Yeah,” Cache said. “I shoulda been a vet, bro. They make so much money.”
“Do they?” Dave honestly didn’t know. “You should go back to school.”
Cache scoffed. “Right. I’m too old for that, and I have no money.” He tossed Dave a look that said so much, Dave couldn’t decipher it all. Cache turned in the next moment, his tray of cocktails ready to go out to the horses who needed them.
Dave watched him go, sure something new was going on inside Cache’s mind. He’d worked with the man for almost two years, and he’d never detected any hesitancy in him to do exactly what he wanted. He was an excellent cowboy, quick to laugh, and super opinionated. But one of Dave’s best friends.
“Dave,” Hudson called from the gaping mouth of the barn. “I need you out here. Fences down and pigs everywhere.”
Dave took off at a jog, grabbing a couple of ropes from the pegs by the door just in case Hudson didn’t have one yet. He’d worked with the pigs a lot, and while some people might think they couldn’t move because of their size, those people would be wrong.
All animals seemed to have a sixth sense about breaks in the fence line too, and he counted no less than six of the porkers had already escaped. Cache stood on the wrong side of the fence, his tray of horse medications balanced in one hand while keeping his eye on the animals in the pen where he was.
“Dave,” he said. “Come get this.” He lifted the tray over the top rung of the fence, and Dave tossed a rope over the fence as he approached. He grabbed the tray, and as quickly as he could, took it back inside the barn.
When he returned to the scene outside, a couple of pigs had already been corralled back into their field.
He couldn’t help laughing at Ames as he dashed after a black and white potbellied pig named Petunia. The mama pig squealed as her stubby legs got her moving faster than the cowboy.
Dave whipped the rope out, hoping he still remembered how to use it. Sure, the animals got out from time to time, but he wasn’t the best with a rope. Volunteers appeared on the edge of the fields, and they’d just stand there, making a human fence the pigs wouldn’t veer toward.
Just more witnesses to his terrible throwing. But Dave plowed forward anyway, because he had a rope and Ames didn’t. How the guy thought he’d catch Petunia, Dave didn’t know. But he missed when he threw the rope, so he wasn’t much help either.
Hudson rope
d another one, and Cache whooped as he did too. Dave focused on the pig standing there, her eyes definitely on him. “Come on, girl,” he said to the pig—whom he’d bathed in the recent past. “We’re friends, right? You’ve got to go back in the field. It’s nice and muddy, just how you like it.”
She grunted, and Dave let the rope fly. Gratitude and relief filled him when the rope landed around her neck, and he pulled it tight. Petunia didn’t seem to care about the rope, and she started trotting again.
There was no way he could hold back her weight, so he let go of the rope before it burned his hands. Foolishness hit him, but at least there was a lead on her now. A cowboy with gloves could grab it and lean into the pig’s flight.
Sure enough, Gray grabbed the rope and dug his feet in. Petunia stilled with the rope cut into her, and Gray got her back in the right spot. Dave hadn’t spent much time or attention on the cowboy he’d first taken on a tour of the ranch.
He hadn’t had to. He had friends and Sissy, and he was too old to spend time with people he didn’t care about. But now, he tipped his hat at the cowboy, who tipped his hat right back.
Sawyer and Carson had lumber out, and they worked on getting the fence back in place.
Life on the ranch went on, the way it always did. Dave would be on his way back to Fort Ivins tomorrow evening, and when he got back on Monday, Sissy would be back.
In the afternoon, he decided he could skip cleaning out the feed bins for the llamas, and he saddled Chestnut and told Hudson he’d be back before dinner. He thought about the way Cache had flirted with Karla during lunch, and how happy Carson and Adele and Sawyer and Jeri were.
Even Hudson and Scarlett, though they were going through something hard, were happy. They loved each other.
All at once, as if the hot sun overhead and the steady clomping of Chestnut’s hooves had laid it all out for him, Dave realized something.
Sissy didn’t love him—at least not the way the other women loved their men.
“It’s still early,” he told himself, told the horse. “Right, Chestnut?” He patted the equine’s neck, but his curiosity over her sudden visit to her mother raged through him as fast as rapids.
Had she gone there to get advice about how to break up with him a second time?
Feeling like he’d been removed from his own body, he reached for the water bottle in his saddlebag. It was cool, but he could barely get himself to swallow it. What would he do if she ended things again?
He’d never really let himself drift down that road before, but he did now. He thought of Carson, who’d left very soon after Dave had arrived at the ranch. He’d left, because Adele had broken his heart.
Sure, they were both back now, but Dave knew better than most what a long road that was. Heck, he was currently on it.
Should he turn around now, while he still had his dignity?
Chestnut had no answers. Dave had no answers. Even God Himself was silent on the matter.
When Dave arrived at the cabin, he put the horse to pasture and pulled out his phone. He needed to know why Sissy had run to Southern California to see her mother.
“Hey, there,” she said after she answered, her voice full of playfulness. “What are you doing this afternoon?”
“I came out to the cabin,” he said.
“You did? Aren’t you going to the base tomorrow?”
“Yeah, and I have band practice tonight.”
“So you’re just skipping out on chores.” She laughed, and Dave sure did like the sound of it. Such a reaction from her almost always soothed him, brought him a measure of happiness. But today, his stomach was still angry and didn’t want to be soothed.
“A little bit,” he said. “Sissy, I have a question for you.”
“Sure,” she said, clearly not concerned.
“Why did you go to San Diego to see your mom?” Dave gazed up into the sky, the blueness of it almost too perfect.
She sighed, and Dave got at least part of the answer he wanted. “Do you really want to know?”
“Of course I do,” he said. “Have I given you the impression I don’t want to know about your life?”
“No, of course not.”
“Something happened the other night,” he said. “I don’t know what it was, and it’s fine if you need some time to work through it.”
“I do, a little,” she said.
“So you’ll tell me when you’re ready.” Dave could live with that. He could.
“I can tell you some now,” she said, but then she remained quiet.
Dave didn’t want to beg her. Frustration mingled with his curiosity, making a dangerous cocktail in his gut.
And still Sissy didn’t speak.
“It’s fine—” he started just as she said, “I haven’t spoken to my mom in a long, long time.”
Chapter 15
Sissy pressed her eyes closed. She’d probably started in the wrong spot.
“What?” Dave asked. “You guys have always been close.”
“No,” Sissy said slowly. “That was the old me. The me from almost twenty years ago.” She sighed and turned away from the sight of her mother at a table down the sidewalk a little bit. When she’d seen Dave’s name on the screen, Sissy had said, “This is him, Mom,” and excused herself.
“The truth is, when I broke up with you, my mother was very angry.”
“She was?” Dave sounded all kinds of surprised.
“She adored you,” Sissy said. “And she thought I was foolish for breaking up with you so I could travel.” Just saying the words made Sissy feel like she’d done something wrong all over again.
But it had been her life. Her decision to make. And she had wanted to do all the things she’d done.
“And yes,” she said when Dave remained silent. “Something happened the other night. You told me Scarlett couldn’t have kids, and I panicked. I needed someone to talk to, and I ended up calling my mother and setting up this weekend visit.”
“I told you that?”
“Yes,” Sissy said. “You were half-asleep, I think.”
“I don’t think that’s common knowledge, Sissy,” he said. “I didn’t know I’d told you.”
“I haven’t said anything to anyone,” she said. “And I won’t.”
“Thank you.”
“Anyway.” She blew out her breath. “I wanted to talk to my mom about you. About not being able to have kids.” Her throat closed so unexpectedly, her emotions shooting into her sinuses and burning the backs of her eyes.
“You can’t have children either?”
“I’m old, Dave,” she said, her voice too high and so nasally. “I missed my chance. We missed our chance.” Her voice broke, and the tears she never wanted to show appeared. She swallowed, trying to get control. “I screwed up. I chose hiking in the Alps over having babies with you.”
“Sissy,” he said, not unkindly. But he didn’t say she was wrong. Didn’t say they still had time. She wasn’t wrong, and they didn’t have any more time.
“I’m just waiting for you to break up with me,” she said honestly, swiping at her face as her mom looked over her shoulder to see where Sissy had gotten to.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because Dave, you deserve someone who puts marriage and family first. That’s not me.” She gave a bitter laugh, wishing she could rewind time and keep all the knowledge she had now.
“Sissy, there are so many ways to be a mother.”
“I don’t want to hear them,” she said. “Not right now.”
“Okay.” He gave off the sense of defeat in his voice. “And Sissy, I know this is going to scare you, and I don’t want to do that. Maybe I’ll just save it for when I can see you again.”
“If you’re going to break up with me, maybe you should just do it,” she said.
He sighed, and she didn’t like the heaviness in it. She hated that they were having this conversation on the phone instead of in person. She wanted to see his face, watch his bo
dy language, kiss him afterward.
“Sissy, I know you’re not a stupid woman. But you’re being really stupid about this.”
Instant anger flared through her. “About what?”
“About me.”
“What about you?”
“There has only ever been one person for me, Sissy, and that’s you.” He didn’t stutter, and he didn’t skip any syllables. The words were just laid out there for her to hear.
“I told you it would scare you,” he said.
“You deserve better than me.” Someone younger, with more time to reproduce. Someone who could cook, and liked to…make applesauce from scratch. Or something. Sissy wasn’t sure exactly what domesticated women did.
“Look,” he said, and she could tell the conversation was about to end. “If you’re going to break up with me again, can you please do it while I’m at the base this weekend? Then I can find another ranch and another job, and just—I don’t know. Start my life again.” He was frustrated and angry, and Sissy knew how he felt.
What she didn’t know was how she’d gone from flirty and playful and looking forward to answering his call, to this. They’d maybe been on the phone for ten minutes. Maybe.
“I’m not going to break up with you this weekend,” she said.
“All right,” he said, obviously still a bit dubious. “So I’ll see you on Monday?”
“Monday,” she confirmed. They said their good-byes, and Sissy drew in a deep breath as she walked back over to the table where her mother sat.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Fine.” Sissy put a smile on her face. “Did you see who was calling?”
“No, you snatched the phone up like it might explode if you didn’t answer immediately.” Her mom smiled at her, and Sissy could admit that her mom had been wonderful and gracious and kind about Sissy’s reappearance in Southern California.
“It was Dave Merrill,” she said, reaching for her iced tea. “You remember him, don’t you?”
Her mom blinked, her mouth hanging open. “David Merrill? The man you were supposed to marry?”
