Her Last Second Chance

by Liz Isaacson

  “Welcome, everyone,” he said. “I see several new faces, and whether you’re new to our little flock or just passing through, we’re glad you’re here.”

  Sissy could feel his general happiness from her spot near the back, and for some reason, that touched her heart.

  “Have you ever felt like the journey you’re on is too long?” he asked next, and Sissy jerked her attention back to him. She did feel like that. “Too many steps, with so many obstacles to overcome? What do you do in those situations? Give up? Plow forward? Move off onto a side path?”

  He gave some examples of situations where someone might feel like that—a dead end job, trying to finish school, or simply trudging through everyday life, especially after the loss of a loved one.

  Sissy marveled at the rich, smooth way he delivered his sermon, at how sure he was about seemingly everything. She also liked that he didn’t tell the people exactly what to do. Instead he said, “Sometimes it’s okay to give up. Sometimes God is pushing you toward a side path. And sometimes, He’s testing us to see if we’ll push through and come out triumphant on the other side.”

  Sissy stayed in her seat for a few minutes after the sermon ended, watching others as they left the chapel. But she wanted to stay and think, and she hoped that would be okay. The chatter in the lobby behind her quieted, and Sissy closed her eyes to pray.

  Thoughts streamed through her mind, and she let them talk and go wherever they wanted.

  You’ve had your side path, one said.

  Don’t give up, another said.

  What’s on the other side? a third asked.

  Sissy knew what was on the other side. The house with the white picket fence. Dave beside her when she woke up. A baby in the nursery.

  Happiness and joy.

  Love and kindness, without loneliness or heartache.

  Sure, she knew things wouldn’t always be new babies and horseback riding into the sunset. But she knew she didn’t want to go back to Last Chance Ranch and not be able to talk to Dave. She didn’t want to go back to blind dates at Scooter’s while her friends vetted the man as they brought him to the table.

  She didn’t want to be the woman she’d been all those years ago when she’d given Dave his diamond and hopped on the next flight out of town.

  She wanted to plow through.

  Excited at this breakthrough in her own mind, she stood up to leave the chapel. The pastor stood at the back of the room, watching her, and she said, “I’m sorry I stayed so long,” as she approached him.

  “The chapel is always open,” he said with a smile. “Visiting today?”

  “Yes,” she said. “That was one of the best sermons I’ve heard in a long time.”

  “Thank you,” he said simply. “Where do you call home?”

  “I’m in Pasadena,” she said. “I work at a rescue ranch there.”

  “Oh, my brother’s in that area.”

  “Really?” she asked. “What a small world. What does he do?”

  “He’s at the rescue ranch there, too. Last Chance Ranch, isn’t it?”

  Sissy froze, trying to remember all of Dave’s brothers. He did have two—one older and one younger—but she couldn’t see any Merrill features in this man. “Who is it?”

  “Ames Golden,” he said with a smile.

  “Oh, I know Ames,” she said, a rush of relief painting her insides. “He’s a great guy.”

  The pastor chuckled. “That he is. Tell him I said hello.”

  “I sure will.”

  He grinned again and headed down the hall, leaving the path for Sissy to leave the church wide open. She did, and though it was hot, she wandered down the street to find something to eat. Then she hit the beach again, the notebook app on her phone open so she could type in any thoughts that came about how to plow through and get to the other side of this difficult path she was on.

  Not much came, and all she typed in was apologize before the time came that she needed to get back to the hotel.

  Another day passed where nothing more came to mind. She was set to leave Huntington Beach on the morning of the Fourth, but putting more distance between her and Dave felt like the wrong thing to do.

  She texted her mother that she wouldn’t be coming after all, and her mom called her instantly.

  “What’s going on?” she asked by way of hello.

  “I’m just…not in a good place for a picnic,” Sissy said, gazing out her hotel window. She only had an hour left to get out, and she hadn’t started packing yet. She once again felt stuck, this time without Dave’s shoulder to lean on.

  “Did something happen with Dave?”

  Sissy began crying, and she wouldn’t be able to hide it from her mother. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mom,” she said through the tears. “He loves me, and I just….” She couldn’t continue, and she hated that she wasn’t enough for him.

  “You broke up with him again,” her mom said.

  “No,” Sissy said, swiping at her tears and making her voice strong. “He broke up with me. Says we’re just spinning our wheels, and he thinks maybe I’ll never come around.”

  “What is taking you so long to come around, Sis? You’ve loved this man for decades.”

  “I know.” And she did love him. On so many levels. But the one he deserved, she didn’t.

  “So what is it?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “That’s rubbish,” her mom said, adopting some of her boyfriend’s way of talking. “I don’t believe that for a second. Just say whatever comes to your mind. Why can’t you be with him?”

  “Because,” Sissy said. “He’s better than me. He loves me more than I love him, and that’s not fair.” She sucked in a breath, full realization hitting her then.

  “Who says you have to love each other equally?” her mom asked.

  “I have to go,” Sissy said. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’ll call you later.” She hung up and spun back to her suitcase. She had to pack. Packing now. She could do that.

  Then she had to get back to Last Chance Ranch and do a few things before she talked to Dave.

  The idea of coming face-to-face with him and vocalizing some of her deepest fears had her hands trembling, but she could push through it.

  She had to.

  She would.

  “I can,” she told herself as she zipped her suitcase closed and headed for the door.

  Chapter 20

  Dave ended up on his back porch with both dogs, watching the fireworks. Stella barked and tried to climb into Dave’s lap every so often, but the pit bull just laid beside him, panting.

  He normally loved the Fourth, the spirit of patriotism, and a general feeling that he’d served his country well. His weekend at the base was only a few days away, and he knew they’d celebrate there too.

  Everything felt hollow now, like he’d lost an essential part of himself. Another firework spit red sparks into the sky, the boom coming a moment later. Stella barked, and he quieted her. But the pit bull got to his feet too, turning back to the house. The dogs looked at each other and trotted into the house, Stella barking loudly now.

  “It’s just the fireworks, guys,” he said, peering over his shoulder. Everyone on the ranch had gone down to the field beside the church to participate in the festivities. Dave could feel the emptiness on the ranch, feel the emptiness way down deep inside himself.

  Should I call Sissy? he wondered, trying to find the center of himself and listen to it. God had never directed him incorrectly, but he sort of felt like the Lord had put him on a boat in the middle of a raging sea. “It sure would be nice to see someone walking toward me right now,” he murmured. “Calming the storm.”

  He’d loved the Bible stories growing up, and the ones with the Savior in them were his favorite. But the storm raged on, and Dave clung to the side of the boat as three fireworks popped overhead, one red, one white, and one blue.

  How very patriotic.

  Stella barked again, this time coming back t
o the door and looking at him like, Come on, cowboy. I need you in here.

  “What is it?” he asked, finally getting up and going inside. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary—except for the gray pit bull standing in an inch from the front door. “Is someone there?”

  Stella did a half-trot, half-gallop over to the door too, just as someone knocked on it. Someone was there.

  “Odd,” Dave said as he strode through his cabin.

  “Dave?” a woman called, and he froze. Not just any woman.

  Sissy was here.

  Sissy’s here, his mind whispered, the two words starting to echo around inside his mind until they became a scream. Sissy’s here. Sissy’s here. Sissy’s here!

  She knocked again, and Dave felt himself rip right down the middle. He wanted to hurry the rest of the way to the door and yank it open. Gather her into his arms. Tell her he loved her and would wait for however long she needed.

  The other half wanted to go quickly back to the back porch and pretend he hadn’t heard her knocking.

  Something creaked on the other side of the door, and he recognized the sound of his front steps. Specifically the last one before the porch. So she’d left.

  But she came back, the excited voice in his mind said. Go talk to her. Just see what she has to say.

  He moved, but not in a rush. He opened the front door amidst whining from Stella, and both dogs rushed out onto the porch before he could even get the door open all the way.

  Sissy giggled from her position on the top step, and said, “Oh, hello, Stella,” as the dog licked her face. “And who are you? Did Dave get a new dog?” She twisted to look over her shoulder just as Dave settled into the doorway, mostly to keep himself from rushing toward her and doing the kissing and apologizing.

  She’d come to him. Four long days she’d stayed away.

  But she’d come back.

  “Hey.” She pushed the dogs away and stood up, smoothing her palms down the front of her shorts. Her smile had disappeared, and she wore all that beautiful, dark hair up in a ponytail high on her head.

  “Hey,” he said back. If she was here to further injure him, he didn’t know what he’d do. He reminded himself that Sissy wasn’t like that. She wasn’t intentionally unkind or cruel. She just…had a gypsy spirit. One that couldn’t be contained. It was actually something he really loved about her.

  “I saw your truck, and I was sort of surprised you weren’t down at the Forever Friends thing.”

  “Yeah,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. Questions piled up in his throat, but he held them back. She had come to him, and she very clearly had something to say. He’d said everything on the road a few days ago anyway.

  She glanced away, into the darkness beyond his front porch, and then looked at him again. Tucking her hands in her back pockets, she took a step toward him. Dave’s attraction to her shot off the charts, but he maintained his position in the doorway, both dogs now at his feet.

  “I just….” She inhaled and exhaled heavily. “I want to plow through with you.”

  Confusion touched his mind. “What?”

  She stilled a few feet from him, but she was so close he could see she wasn’t wearing any makeup, and the scent of her filled the air. Something like sunshine and strawberries and the minty chapstick she liked to wear.

  He liked her in her natural form, and everything male in him wanted her in his arms as soon as possible. He watched her struggle to come up with the right words, and he waited.

  “I went to this church in Huntington Beach a couple of days ago,” she said, her voice raw and tense. “And I’m not perfect, but you’re not perfect either. I think what’s holding me back from being with you is that I think I have to be perfect to love you. That you expect me to love you perfectly.” She cleared her throat. “And I don’t, and while I want to, I’m not there yet.”

  He had no idea what she was saying, but he’d heard the word love a few times. He wasn’t sure if she was saying she did love him or she didn’t.

  “But I want to plow through all of that. I do love you, and I want to be with you. I want the house with you. I want the family with you. I want to go to sleep with you at my side, and I want to wake up with you singing those cowboy songs in the shower.” She half laughed and half cried, her tears shining under the porch light while the fireworks continued to explode behind the house.

  Dave’s whole heart filled with love for her. “I don’t sing in the shower,” he said, and she burst out laughing.

  He couldn’t keep the smile off his face and the hope out of his heart. No, things weren’t perfect between them. She’d left—but she’d come back. Sissy had never come back to him before.

  She quieted as she wiped the tears from her face. “Dave, I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me twice?”

  “I can forgive you as many times as it takes,” he whispered, and she flew into his arms. Her shoulders shook as she cried, and Dave just held her, trying to keep everything inside him from storming out too.

  “I love you,” she said through her tears, and Dave whispered it back to her just before he kissed her.

  An hour later, the fireworks show had ended. Trucks and cars had returned to the ranch. He and Sissy had stayed on the back porch, their hands entwined as they talked and sat with the dogs.

  “Did you really adopt another dog?”

  “Not yet,” he said. “I don’t even know this one’s name.”

  Sissy shook her head. “He just followed you home, is that it?”

  “He was supposed to be down at the adoption event,” Dave said, realizing he’d probably kept the dog from getting adopted. “He had a little too much energy, so I took him for a walk.”

  “Why weren’t you down there? Seems like your kind of scene.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “I tried.” He didn’t want to say any more. If Sissy didn’t already know the great hold she had over his heart, he didn’t need to spell it out for her. Make himself appear even more pathetic.

  Falling in love wasn’t pathetic, he knew. It was a gift, and he mentally thanked the Lord for giving Sissy a way back to him. She’d told him all about the sermon and what she’d learned about herself.

  He didn’t know how to reassure her that he loved her completely for the person she was. Not the person she’d been. Not who he hoped she could be in the future. But the kind, generous, hardworking, gorgeous woman she was right now.

  He squeezed her hand and said, “I’m glad you came back. I was going to go talk to Scarlett tomorrow and offer to quit.”

  Sissy leaned her head against his bicep and sighed. “I would’ve been mortified to drive you away from this ranch you love so much.”

  Dave felt a sense of peace enter his heart. “Well, I don’t have to do that now, do I?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “Can we live in your place in town once we get married?” he asked.

  Sissy lifted her head from his shoulder. “Is that a proposal?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “No, sweetheart. That was not a proposal.” He looked at her. “You want to get married, right?” She’d said she wanted the house, the family, and him at her side. Maybe that didn’t mean marriage.

  “Of course,” she said.

  “When?” he asked.

  She looked at him, her dark eyes sparking with an emotion he couldn’t name. “I don’t know.”

  “You never thought about it?” he asked. “Last time, I believe you said you wanted a spring wedding.”

  “I don’t think things like that are as important anymore,” she said.

  “Fascinating.”

  Sissy grinned at him. “And I think I’ll ask you this time. So you decide when we get married.”

  “You are not asking me,” he said, keeping his gaze out into the darkness where the gray pit bull had disappeared a few minutes ago. He wasn’t worried about the dog; it would come back.

  “Why not?”

  “Because.” Dave
didn’t need to get into all the reasons he didn’t like that idea.

  “Dave—”

  “Because I already have a ring for you,” he said, meeting her gaze.

  Surprise danced across her face. “You do?”

  “Yes.”

  “I want to see it.”

  Of course she did. Dave sighed like she was doing something terrible, but he pushed into a stand. “Fine.” He went inside and down the hall to his bedroom, his heart beating quicker with every step. In his top dresser drawer, way in the back, he pulled out the black box her first engagement ring had come in.

  Would she think him stupid for keeping it all these years? Was he stupid for doing so? He’d come to the ranch without knowing Sissy worked here, and he’d had the ring then. Maybe it was romantic.

  He didn’t have flowers. He didn’t have balloons or candlelight. He didn’t have a catered dinner on the beach.

  He just had himself, and at this point in his life, it had to be enough. He was enough.

  Back outside, he sat down beside her again, noting the pit bull had returned, and handed her the box silently.

  She looked at it and then him before returning her attention to it. As she cracked the lid, Dave’s pulse nearly exploded through his veins, so much like the fireworks a few minutes ago had burst into the sky.

  Sissy sucked in a breath and started crying all in the same second.

  “I can get a better one,” he said. “I have more money now. You can pick it out.”

  “No,” she said, still staring down at the simple gold band with the small diamond in it that he’d bought for her eighteen years ago. “It’s perfect.” She looked at him with those joyful, watery eyes, and Dave had never felt such love from her. She truly loved him, and in that moment, he knew it.

  “Will you marry me?” he asked. Not down on one knee. Just sitting beside her on the back porch, like he wanted to do every night before they went to bed.

  “Yes,” she whispered, leaning over to kiss him. The sweet, gentle movement of her mouth against his made this kiss with his fiancée one of the best of his life.